|All I Wanted Was Some Damn Cereal!
Author: EdwardIsMyLover PM
Oneshot about a morning at the Cullens. Title says most of it. Enjoy!Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Bella & Edward - Words: 2,137 - Reviews: 299 - Favs: 454 - Follows: 75 - Published: 06-23-07 - Status: Complete - id: 3611544
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: I do not own twilight
AN: I thought of this while I was reading another fiction about Bella having troubles with another food. The story is Ice Cream! by Diddly. Read it; it's funny. This is just a one-shot because I have enough stories to keep my mind occupied without this turning into a…non-oneshot. Hope you enjoy it though! I'm in a fluffy mood so I'll try to have some fluff in the beginning! Though I don't know how good I am at fluff. Tell me when you're done so I know. If I can, then maybe there shall be some more fluffy one-shots in the future!
All I Wanted Was Some Damn Cereal!
I had just woken up to a Greek God in my bed. I smiled and was about to turn over to check my alarm clock when I suddenly had sensation of adrenaline, for I had not been met with the soft mattress of my bed, but the hard floor. Slightly dazed and confused after just waking up, I raised my head, surely a bemused expression on my face.
My foggy eyes met a black wall. A black, leather wall. Oh. Right. Edward's couch: not my bed, and therefore half the width, hence falling off. Suddenly the couch started shaking and I looked up in even more confusion. I was met with a silent but hysterical vampire whom was only fueled more by my befuddled face.
My questioning gaze turned to a glare as soon as my slow mind caught up with everything. He stopped a second after and smiled such a natural and true smile that I couldn't help but smile back at his obvious joy. I'd go through multiple humiliations like this just to see it.
"Bella, what am I going to do with you?" He asked with mirth in his eyes.
"Help me up for one," I answered, my mind still not completely clear. It wasn't helping that I was freely staring at him.
He just laughed and bent down to pick me up in his arms. I smiled into his chest and wrapped my arms around his neck as he set me back down on his lap. I felt him hold me tighter and so I squeezed my arms around his neck tighter. And another squeeze from him and I gave one back. He once again squeezed me and I gave one back again.
I felt his neck bend down and then his lips press into my hair. "Bella, do you even think you have any chance of winning this?" I heard the obvious smile in his voice.
In response I just squeezed again. I felt him shake his head and squeeze tighter, accepting the challenge. I squeezed as hard as I could and then felt him hesitate. He was too scared to hurt me, just as I thought!
"HA!" I said aloud.
He pulled back, ripping my grasp from around his neck with a questioning look on his face with one eyebrow raised. "I still win!" I said. He just laughed and pulled me to him once again, being careful not to squeeze me and start it all over again.
Just then my stomach growled and I cursed my human tendencies.
"Time to for breakfast!" He announced and swept me up bridal style. I had learned to just accept that I was going to be carried around for the rest of my life and let him carry me, just enjoying the closeness that I treasured so much.
We were in the kitchen only seconds later and he set me down. I don't even know why I said this next thing; it was probably sleep deprivation from being up with Edward so much, mixed with that documentary on the animal channel I saw about tigers in the wild. I actually started to dictate myself hunting for food. "And so the female is left alone to continue the hunt for food. She pounces on the first thing she sees, but immediately backs off, remembering that desert is always after the meal. She stalks her prey until there is no escape. Nothing seems to be good enough to satisfy her until…oh what's this, here is the prize kill. COCOA PUFFS!"
The sad part was that I didn't even realize what I was doing until I turned around to see Edward with a strange look on his face. His eyes were slightly widened and one hand was gripping the table. At first I thought it was my scent but then I realized the true reason. Talking like that had probably brought out his…animalistic side. I could swear I heard laughter from above me, right where Alice's room was.
I immediately blushed and turned back to finish getting my other things, keeping my lips silent. I got a spoon and turned to the fridge to get the milk. I took the holder out and set it on the table. Edward seemed to have regained his composure and was now sitting across from me, watching. It made me a little uncomfortable as I reached for the cereal and tipping the box.
None came out.
I looked at the box and saw it was closed. I heard a snicker from infront of me and turned to glare at the cause of it. Turning back to the task at hand, I reached in and grabbed two sides of the bags and pulled. My fingers slipped and it wouldn't open. Gripping harder I tried again. Same result. Getting frustrated I tried again. No change.
"Would you like me to help you Bella?" Edward asked, much more polite than necessary.
"No, I can handle opening a bag myself, thank you very much." I answered, not looking up.
Fed up, I took the bag out of the box because it was in the way and re-gripped the sides of it. Pulling as hard as I could, I tore into it. For a split second I was satisfied as I heard the tear, until I felt the bag sag in my fingers.
The cereal inside had burst everywhere. All over the floor. Some on the counter. Some on my shoulders. A few pieces in my bowl. And as I looked up I saw also in Edward's hair.
Horror covered my face as I realized what I had just done. I watched Edward for his reaction. There was a smile growing and that did not make me feel any better. "Handled very well," came the witty remark I knew was coming.
I scowled, and then at all the traitor cereal blanketing the kitchen. I huffed and started to pick it up.
"Bella, just leave it. We can clean it up later. Get another box. An open box." He emphasized the last part.
"You are so…" I couldn't find the right word as I stood there, fuming at myself but deciding to take it out on him.
"So evil?" He finished.
"Yes!" I said, exasperated, as I started to walk towards the pantry to retrieve another open box.
I froze and looked under my foot. There were crushed cereal crumbs all over the bottom. Letting out a frustrated breath I continued to march to the pantry. Ignoring the constant crunch beneath my toes. I could feel Edward watching me with humor but I decided to ignore him.
After I retrieved another box I went back to across from him on the isle. I tipped the box to pour some in my bowl and…shit. Nothing came out. I quickly checked it and found it closed. I thought over trying to open it again but knew that if I repeated myself, I would never hear the end of it. Closing my eyes in annoyance I put the box upright on the table and slid it across.
I heard a laugh come from him again. Amused by my situation. I just opened my eyes and looked at his smiling face. I thought about it a moment and realized that I would be doing the same if the situation were reversed so I just held in my smirk and let go of my annoyance at him. Besides, I can never stay angry at him for more than a minute.
He passed it back and I finally got to pour some into my bowl. I reached for the milk but realized how light it was. I looked in and found it empty. Who in this house would…I didn't even want to know. I just went and got another bag and put it in the jug. I studied the bag of milk. Realizing that I would have to open the tip. Apparently Edward noticed too.
"I –" He started, but I cut him off.
"Don't even," I warned, passing him the jug.
He just smiled again and ripped the tip of it open with his fingers. I took it back and saw that it was so clean that I would have thought scissors had cut it. Eager to finally eat this I poured it hastily and tipped the jug too far.
The bag completely fell out, spilling everywhere.
I just stood there. Frozen by shock from my own clumsiness. That is until I heard Edward's booming laugh from infront of me. Now I was angry. I looked down to my bowl and saw it full of both cereal and milk. With one last huff I picked up my bowl grabbed my spoon and stalked from the kitchen, leaving the giant cereal mess in the kitchen.
I knew Edward would follow me with that same cocky smile so I just sat down on a couch without looking to see him when I felt his weight being added to the couch. Just at that moment Emmett came zooming down the stairs to sit in a chair. I was just about to have the spoon in my mouth when his loud roar startled me and I dropped the spoon back into the bowl.
"EDWARD, DID YOU HIDE THE REMOTE AGAIN?" He boomed, standing up from his sitting position.
"What are you talking about Emmett, I didn't do anything," Edward replied calmly, though his reply seemed practiced.
I looked at him with my eyebrows raised, catching his lie. A childish one at that. He just looked at me, no falter in his gaze. "Bella, I've been with you the whole time. Haven't I?" He asked.
"Well," I started, my smile growing, "I'm not quite sure my human would be able to catch you if you truly didn't want to be caught in such a cruel and punishable crime." I said as seriously as I could at the moment.
His eyes widened slightly before narrowing. And the next thing I could register was that he was gone after a huge blur. I turned around behind me and saw them on the floor rolling around and trying to hit each other. Knowing that they wouldn't and couldn't actually hurt each other, I sighed and turned back to my cereal.
Not a moment after I did I saw the remote laying neatly on the coffee table. That wasn't there before…Oh well; it's not my problem. I turned back to my cereal and was about to finally take a bite when the couch was suddenly jerked forward, sprawling me on the floor infront.
I looked back in shock and saw them still fighting; they must have bumped into the couch. As I looked down at the floor to get up I saw my bowl of cereal half empty; the rest of the contents all over Esme's nice floor. I was thoroughly enraged now.
I stood up angrily, picked up my bowl and turned to them. Letting out the loudest growl I could manage and giving them the meanest glare I could muster. They stopped immediately, shocked by my feral growl, and looked up to me.
"ALL I WANTED WAS SOME DAMN CEREAL!" I screamed at them, and then, on instinct, threw my bowl at their faces. Coating them all in chocolaty milk and soggy cereal. If possible, they were shocked even more.
I just turned, my hands in fists at my sides, as I walked up the stairs to Edwards room. But not before I heard Emmett say, "Sheesh, is it that time of the month already?"
AN: I hope you like it. I had fun writing it :). Review if you like it! Sorry to my Beta. But I really wanted to get this one out. I'll send it to you and once you send it back I'll replace this one with it. Thanks x3