Premanga. Just a thought that shoved its way in my head one day and wouldn't get out…

This can also be interpreted as how everyone (almost) in the AX figured out Abel's Crusnik secret. Which isn't really a secret anymore.

Summary: Abel was out when he received a pair of unexpected visits from his better left forgotten past. Just why were both his sister and his brother in Rome, anyways? And now everyone in the AX knows his big, bad Crusnik secret. Pre-series, Humor/Angst

Disclaimer: If I owned TB, I'd be dead. And if I were dead, I wouldn't be writing this, now, would I?

A Little Reunion (or Siblings Blab Out Your Secrets Too Much)

It was just another ordinary day at the AX. The Professor was drinking tea, Dandelion was staring at a picture of his dead family and moping, Sword Dancer (in one of his few visits to headquarters) was thinking about his dead family and moping, the Iron Maiden was doing a systems check on Gunslinger, and almost everyone else was out on missions. But Crusnik…

Poor Abel had been bullied into going out and buying more sugar for headquarters because he had used it all for his own tea.

He neared the market district of Rome, listening to the hustle and bustle of ordinary people going about their daily chores. Sometimes, in the dead of night when he had too many memories, too many thoughts, he wished he could join them. But no, he just had to be the one who had to do the fighting, the one who couldn't fob off the major power onto anyone else. Sometimes- no, usually, it was a pain.

But it wasn't long until his ultra-sensitive nanomachine-enhanced hearing picked up the sounds of some fighting, and that of a person saying 'Methuselah'.

Heading towards the distant sound, he saw a pair of Methuselah – and not humans – beating each other up. In the capital of the Vatican!

"What on earth is going on here?" he demanded, hoping to sound like any other inane, rather inept, normal law enforcement priest.

"Oh, crap. Authorities!" And the two shadows kept beating each other up. "It's your fault!"

"And the 'authorities' is still here," Abel said dryly. Geez, what was it with Methuselah these days? They were more insane than their forebears, and that was saying a lot.

"Oh, geez. Is Abel-nii-san doing the babysitting today?" a sweet, childish voice rang out in perfect, archaic Latin.

"Shut up," he grumbled.

"Where were you these past nine hundred years? We've missed you," another voice, this time male and very, very similar to his own, asked, this time in plain old English. "And you got glasses! I thought only I needed them!"

"What are you two doing here?" he hissed, ignoring the glasses comment. Contrary to popular belief and Tres' database, he had perfect eyesight due to his Crusnik. But he'd always loved a good disguise, even if this one was simply to make him look stupid and foppish. "You'd cause trouble if you were caught!"

"Not for us, though," Cain replied cheerfully. "Besides, it must be fun. And we've declared a ceasefire for the next twenty five hours to catch up on the past."

"O.….kay," Abel trailed off, unsure of how to continue.

"Come on! Do you have a place to stay?" Seth asked. "You always had trouble connecting with people."

"Hey, it's not my fault!" Abel argued. "Everyone was bitches back then!"

Cain and Seth exchanged glances. "Same old Abel," Seth said.

"Hasn't changed in nine hundred years," Cain added.

"So, do you have a place to stay?" Seth pressed once more.

"Well, I share it with my coworkers, but-"

"OH, my GOD! Abel actually got a job! Working with other people! He's not the Abel we know anymore! So much has changed in the last nine hundred years!" Cain said, mock-panicking. "But it is unusual."

"Yes…. You were always the antisocial bastard," Seth said dreamily. "That time you blew up-"

"Actually, that one was an accident," Abel admitted.

"But the other one?"

"That one was on purpose."

"I hate you, Abel. Why did you have to blow up mine? My room stank of refuse for months."

"I hate you too, Cain. Why did you go and behead Lilith?"

"Point taken. Stay nonviolent," Seth ordered, going Crusnik and unleashing a few dangerous sound waves at her brothers. "Abel, Cain, that means you. And listen to your little sister; men are beasts, but they are beasts to be ruled by woman."

"I have to go finish shopping, but then I'll….. Ummm, you do know that I'm a priest now, right?"

"YOU'RE A PRIEST?" Seth and Cain screamed before realizing the need for silence.

"Wow, you really have changed," Seth said after the ensuing silence.

"You're a very long way from the epitome of an atheist you once were," Cain added solemnly.

"Hey, hey, I'm still the evil, nasty, egocentric brother you once knew and loved," Abel protested. "I haven't changed that much. It was mostly Lilith's fault."

"NO, Abel. Don't bait your twin. And what are you picking up?"

"The sugar. I accidentally used it all up and my coworkers forced me to go out and buy some more," Abel said mournfully. "They're so cruel."

"Can a person even change that much in nine hundred years? I know Lilith was a catalyst, but even then…," Seth trailed off.

"Nah. Let's just go pick up the sugar and see who Abel's working with," Cain said in a tone that conveyed that he did not believe Abel was actually a priest.

"We passed by a nice confectionery on our way here," Seth offered. "They offered sugar cubes cheap. Two dinars, I think?"

"Two dinars," Cain confirmed.

"Oh, good," Abel said absentmindedly. "I only have four."

"Let's get going, then!" Seth said. "I want to see the people who put you on minimum wage!"

"Seth!"

"I'm baaack!" Abel sang. Leon almost swore he could hear another 'Abel' and a girl's voice as well.

"Yo, Abel, did you get th-?" Poor Leon's eyes nearly popped out of his head. "What the fuck?"

"'What the fuck' indeed," the blond version of Abel said, smiling serenely and looking for all the world like an angel.

"Hey, Abel, what's holding you up?" William Walter Wordsworth, who I shall call WWW because he has such a freaky long name, called. Then he made the mistake of looking through the doorway.

"Abel, who are the other two people with you?" WWW's voice sounded oddly strangled.

"Can't you guess?" Leon's voice definitely held suppressed mirth in it. "He's started picking up girls. And boys."

"The blond one looks like family," Hugue said from where he was polishing his shikomizue (a shikomizue is a sword hidden in a cane, or, in this case, a metal pole) at his desk. Hmmm… his computer was malfunctioning again. Must be the limestone powder he needed to clean the blade (and yes, katana were once cleaned that way); those shorted out the circuits like nothing else.

"Actually, he kind of does," Sister Kate chirped.

"Their resemblance to each other is 97 accurate," Tres said.

"But I thought you didn't have any family," WWW said, earning Abel dirty glances from his siblings. "Because you barely mention them."

The glares retracted. "Yeah, it's been a while since we've seen each other, but we know each other inside out – not that way, pervert boy – so we don't have to communicate often. After so long, it's almost like we have a sixth sense for each other," Abel admitted sheepishly, earning odd, discreet glances from his siblings.

"So, are you going to introduce them?" Caterina asked. Everyone jumped; somehow, they had all missed her, even the two robot-cyborgs and the three Crusnik.

"Oh, yes, Lady Caterina," Abel said. "This is Cain, my older twin brother by eight months. He was born in Germany, and this is Seth, who was born nine years after us in Canada. Seth, Cain, this is Lady Caterina, my superior and close friend."

"It's nice to meet you," Cain said, flashing his winsome, charismatic smile once more while kissing Caterina's hand lightly, the very picture of a perfect courtier. "I am Cain Nightlord, also known as Contra Mundi. I head an organization named the 'Rozen Creuz Orden' that seeks to create a new, better world order."

"Well, I head the AX, which seeks to preserve the existing order and make it better," Caterina said graciously, with her own winsome, charismatic smile. "It's such a great occasion when I find out that my best friend's twin brother and I have similar goals." Everyone around them sweatdropped.

Diplomacy was weird. Scratch that, diplomacy is weird.

Seth came over and curtsied. "And I am Seth Nightlord, also known as the Empress Augusta Vradica of the New Human Empire. I also seek to better the world by promoting coexistence, tolerance, and acceptance between humans and Methuselah."

"I'm sorry, but the New Human Empire? I have extensive knowledge of the political entities here, but I have never heard of a 'New Human Empire'," WWW said.

"Oh, it's also called the Methuselah Empire," Seth said. There were knowledgeable 'aaaah's in the room before everyone froze up.

THIS little girl was THE EMPRESS of the METHUSELAH EMPIRE?

"No way!"

"You're responsible for the attacks on my family!"

"How can you be the Empress? Our sources state that the Empress-"

"Has never before shown her face, shape, or form in public, or even to her most trusted subjects; has not made any overt threats to the Vatican or any human country and promotes cooperation, especially in her capital of Byzantium; has never talked about her family; is oooooolllldddd but not an old lady," Seth ticked off the reasons on her fingers as she counted them up. "Those are three good reasons I fit the Empress's profile. Honestly, my double's over there. You seriously forgot some Methuselah can shapeshift?"

"It is true," Tres said in his usual monotone. "Class type F vampires sometimes have the ability to shift forms, especially those classified as 'werewolves', 'mermaids',-"

"End report, Tres," Caterina said. "Well, sit, Empress. It must have been a long journey from Bysantium. Would you like tea?"

"Yes, please," Seth said.

"Professor, would you please go get some tea? The good kind, mind you, not the crappy stuff you drink yourself."

"I just happen to like that brand very much, Lady Caterina!"

"Your siblings are seriously weird," Leon whispered to Abel as the other members of AX entertained Cain and Seth.

"You think? I-!" Abel was cut off by disbelieving shouts.

"YOU MEAN YOU'RE REALLY TWO MILLENIA OLD?" Kate and WWW shouted. "Even Methuselah aren't that old! This puts you before the Armageddon!"

"And that means-!" Just suffice it to say they weren't the only two who were shocked at the discovery. Tres and Caterina, who already knew about Abel's long life, were the only two who were calm. Even the Crusnik were shocked that no one knew.

"Oh, my, god! Abel's an old geezer!" Leon cried, only half joking.

"That's so cruel!"

"But no, really! We really are two-thousand-year-old test tube babies with Martian nanomachine enhancements!"

"Ahahahaha! You have no idea how, how funky that sounds! Like something out of a sci-fi book!"

"It's the truth, Leon!"

"Et tu, Abel? At least support me here! We're not partners from the AX for nothing, you know!"

"Fine, I'll give you proof! Nanomachine Crusnik 03, 40 activation approved!"

"Aaah! You have wings!"

"Of course she has wings, idiot! We all have wings!"

"Now now, Abel-nii-san, you shouldn't hit Leon over the head like that. The last person you did that to ended up with a broken spine, remember? Ja?"

"Cain, I meant to do that! It was in the middle of a war!"

"Geez," WWW commented to Caterina, staring at the arguing mob before them. "They really are siblings. The way they act proves it."

"Yes, they rather remind me of dearest Francesco," Caterina replied, with only the barest hints of sarcasm on 'dearest'.

Elsewhere, Seth had finally given up on breaking up the fight verbally and was now attacking them with her oversized tuning- errr, pitchforks.

"Eeeek!" And of course, the girly scream came not from the girl, but from Abel. And Cain, although he was much more discreet. After all, the two of them had seen enough to know just how scary and deadly her attacks could be.

"Don't fire those in here! Are you trying to kill us all!" Abel shouted, gesticulating (no, it's nothing perverted. It means he's waving his hands around) wildly.

"Killing any of the personnel here, especially Lady Caterina, would have resulted in a diplomatic incident between the Vatican and the Empire, you know," Cain agreed calmly.

Seth stuck her tongue out at him.

"So yeah, now that everyone knows about my past, could you all just forget it for the rest of your lives? I'm still the same me you knew before, only now you know more of my secrets. They really were supposed to be kept confidential between me, Caterina, my siblings, and anyone they choose to tell."

"Ummm, but-"

"No buts. Just forget about it. We'd actually mindwipe you, but that was Lilith's ability and she's dead, and all the mindwipe machines from before the Armageddon were lost. I personally saw the last one go up in flames."

"Ehhh…." No one really knew what to say for that. Luckily, they didn't have to, because just then Isaak rose from the shadowy depths- literally.

"Cain-sama, we're going to be late for the meeting if we don't hurry up," he said.

"Alright, Isaak. But first, we need to drop off my little sister back at her palace," Cain said. "Oh, right. Caterina, you must tell me how you make your tea. It's delicious."

"Nah, just go to your meeting," Seth replied. "I'll make it back home just fine. Mirka can hold out another few weeks."

"Not that it would take you that long," Abel said dryly. "Anyways, it was nice meeting you after nine hundred years."

"Yeah. We might end up fighting each other someday soon, but at least we'll have this final reunion."

"Even if you did kill Lilith….."

"Are you trying to imply something?"

Seth noticed, sighed, went Crusnik again (she's head of an empire of Methuselah. She can spare a lot of viruses.), and hit her two brothers on the head with her pitchforks. "No violence."

"Yes, mother," Cain said as he joined Isaak and vanished.

"Ooh, I hate how he gets the last word," Abel grumbled. "Say, isn't the Empire supposed to hold a festival or something in two days? You might want to get home soon, Seth."

"Yeah, but it was nice seeing you, big brother. And you two, Kate, Caterina. I hope our countries can work together someday. Bye!"

"Bye!"

"Good bye!"

And so, Crusnik Seth walked out and went home.

"You know, you have really weird siblings, Abel," Leon said.

"And just why did you bring them into the heart of Vatican power for?" Hugue wanted to know. "It's dangerous."

"Yare yare. I really want to get my hands on a sample of those nanomachines, though. They have so much potential….."

"No! And especially not on human experimentation!"

"Of course not! I'm not evil! I was talking about the communications industry!"

"Oh."

And suddenly, they were interrupted by none other than an irritated Lady Caterina.

"Do you know how valuable contacts to the Rozen Creuz Orden and the Empire can be? Especially the Empire, since your Rozen Creuz Orden contact doesn't seem particularly inclined towards an alliance? And a contact so highly placed within the Empire? Why didn't you tell me? That would have made my life sooo much easier!" Caterina complained. "Besides, those were some pretty important things you forgot to tell me there. . . "

"I'm sorry!" Abel screamed as Caterina suddenly began to rant at him.

Fin!

Yes, it's unrealistic. I know. Just don't flame me, although if you hate this story, why you even bothered to read this far stupefies me with your idiocy.

. . . This fic took up eight pages and hours to write. Arigato gozaimasu for reading.