2stupid: Yes, this just popped up in Tensa-chan’s head, like always.

Tensa-chan: How sarcastic. I am wounded.

2stupid: You were being more sarcastic.

Tensa-chan: Was not.

2stupid: Yes you were, now shut up.

Tensa-chan: We don’t own Naruto. Ha. Got you there!

2stupid: Shut up.

Tensa-chan: Only if you do.

2stupid: Fine.

Tensa-chan: pulls out senbon

2stupid: What are those for?

Tensa-chan: To make sure you are.

2stupid: Oh, crap. starts running.

Tensa-chan: Throws senbon Got her.

2stupid: falls down in false death

Tensa-chan: walks away whistling

30 Ways to Piss Off Hoshigaki Kisame

Play the Jaws theme song whenever he arrives.

Call him Sushi-san.

Put blue makeup on, dye your hair gray, and call him Uncle.

Even better, call him Mommy.

Then hug his leg tightly and never come off, not even when he’s fighting.

Force him to watch Jaws.

Tell him he’s cast as the shark in the remake of Jaws.

Steal Samehada.

Replace it with Hidan’s scythe.

Destroy it.

Rebuild it to match you and start attacking him with it.

Hug him.

Tightly.

Dose his tea with sleeping powder.

When he’s sleeping in a bed with white sheets, pour warm water on his hand and watch them turn yellow. (AN: Advice: After doing such, run away to the desert so he can’t do Suiton at you with the water you poured on him.)

Give him a purple laxadent cookie. (preferably chocolate chip)

Force him to eat it and then tie him to a chair in viewing distance of a restroom.

Force him to watch all the rest of the male Naruto characters use it. At a random interval tell him that it would ruin his reputation forever if he goes.

Steal all his clothes, even the ones he’s wearing. (And his bandages, and his weapons)

Burn them.

Get him banned from all clothing shops.

Watch him try to cover himself up… and bring all the female Naruto characters in.

Report him to the Hidden Mist.

Capture him and dump him in one of their interrogation rooms.

Tell Itachi his partner’s gay.

And Kisame’s just waiting for a chance to molest him.

Watch Itachi beat Kisame up.

With popcorn.

And all the Naruto characters but Sasuke (he’d ruin the fun).

Show him a KisaIta fanfic.

Orochimaru looked at the fanfiction. Hmmmm. So here were some of Kisame’s weaknesses. Good for when he destroyed Akatsuki. So his first target was Kisame….

Whistling, the psychotic sannin walked off to find that Genin team from the Grass. He should be the one with long hair… it was the only pretty one on the team. The Sound Four would be the other two…. Good practice for being the Kazekage’s guards….

Kisame looked at the fanfiction.

“Who the f--- wrote this? He’s so dead,” Sushi-san growled. Too bad he doesn’t know that a she wrote this.

Tensa-chan looked at the fanfiction.

“Oooh, do you think he’s had a heart attack yet?” 2stupid asked.

The rest of Akatsuki looked at the fanfiction.

“From now on, we all call him Sushi-san,” Sasori said.

“I’ll take and burn his clothes, un!” More like blow them up, Dei.

“I’ll keep anyone from selling him anything,” Itachi said. “As well as beating him up.”

“I’ll switch Samehada,” Hidan offered.

With that, the rest of Akatsuki began preparing for a long “piss off Kisame” session.

Tsunade and Jiraiya read the fanfiction.

“Give copies of this to everyone in the Akatsuki-hunting squad, the Rookie Nine, and Gai’s team. Then send out copies to Suna and Kiri (AN: Sand and Mist, who I believe are Konoha’s allies),” Tsunade instructed Shizune.

Throughout the Nations, all uproar was in place as everyone found out about the infamous S-class nukenin’s ‘weaknesses’.