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-Phobias-
-Lady Luce-
A/N: Originally I discarded this phobia from my list as something I couldn’t use. Then the other night I watched The Fly. Somehow the movie got me thinking about Dante and Lady XD not sure why… So another Dante/Lady up for the count… gah I thought I didn’t like this pairing. Correcton; I do not like this pairing... Also both of them are a little OOC in this. It took me a lot to finally post this fic because of that.
Tocophobia: Fear of Pregnancy
Lady blinked slowly rubbing a hand across her forehead to wipe away the sweat and focus her sluggish mind. She had to move, Dante would be back soon from whatever mission he was on and god knew she didn’t want him to find her in this state. Apart from anything though she didn’t want him to know the truth of her current condition; she had run it through her mind a thousand times and decided that this option was best. He never had to know about the thing growing inside her. Maybe she would have thought differently about the situation if he wasn’t a demon, but he was and that was all there was to it – half demon or no, they were all the same to her. She had sworn to rid the world of demons and she could not allow herself to keep this monster inside of her. Letting it live would go against every moral fiber of her being and the mere thought of it made her sick to the stomach.
This whole thing had been a drunken mistake to begin with and she was certain he wouldn’t have cared one bit about it anyway. Or at least that’s what she kept telling herself. After all if she truly was certain then there would be no harm in telling him the truth. Lady knew that what she was truly afraid of was him returning right now and stopping her from killing it. She was afraid he’d ask her to keep it, terrified that she’d let herself be talked into it until it was too late. No, this was best for all of them. Dante never had to know and there would be no pain for either of them. Only she knew deep down somewhere she wouldn’t be able to look him in the eye again after this.
Taking another swig of gin she let out a deep sigh before rising shakily to her feet, using the side of the bath for support. Gripping the edge of the tub tightly she tested the water with her hand. Lady quelled her instinctive reaction to pull away as the water burnt her skin sending a shock through her dulled senses. When she was finally accustomed to the heat she slipped a foot into the water and waited a second to add another. She hadn’t bothered with getting undressed. After the first bottle of gin it hadn’t seemed like such a big deal and now she was no where near inclined to think otherwise. She wanted to get this over with as fast as possible so that everything could continue as normal. Not that her life had ever been particularly normal one way and another.
Biting her lip she carefully sank into the water finding some small satisfaction in the burning heat. It was probably right that it hurt, she felt that she deserved it in some way even though she knew she could never have let the creature live. Lady was suddenly struck with a horrifying thought as she reached for her bottle, nearly toppling the unopened one with her awkward movements. What if this didn’t kill it? Sure this was supposed to work on human babies, but not demons. It didn’t matter that the demon blood in the creature was so watered down she had seen what the slightest bit of demonic power could do. Gulping down the last of the gin she threw the bottle down in a sudden burst of anger. This was all his fault! She had firmly told him no in Temin-Ni-Gru and he still hadn’t taken the hint. Most of the time Dante was merely an insufferable flirt, but it hadn’t taken much for the situation to get out of hand. What little coherence she had left told her she was just as much to blame for what had happened as he was, but she was beyond rationality now and the thought was easily shoved aside.
Water was pouring over the edges of the bath, but she didn’t care. She should turn the tap off really, but it was too much effort; and besides she couldn’t even remember why the tap needed turning off so the fact that she thought it should be was irrelevant. Resting her head in her hands she sank lower into the water and waited. It would be dead soon, and then she could carry on with her life.
“Hey Lady, I’m back some bloody kids got a hold of my number and… what the…?”
He stopped when a drop of water landed squarely in the middle of his forehead, followed by another one. That wasn’t right; it hadn’t been raining outside so why it would be raining indoors was a mystery. In fact, since when did it rain indoors…? Glancing up at the ceiling he saw a patch of water spreading steadily across the plaster. It reminded him eerily of a blood-stain and sent a stab of panic through him though he dismissed it immediately. Or at least, he tried to. Resting Rebellion on his desk with a care he didn’t often possess he turned to the stairs as he heard the ceiling creak in protest and the muted roar of running water reached his ears.
Talk about not wrecking the place, what in hell was she doing up there…? There was something niggling at the back of his mind telling him that the situation was desperately wrong. He picked up the pace; taking the steps two at a time and finally arriving at the bathroom door a fraction of a second later. There was a pause where he listened, the rush of cascading water filling his ears and he bit his lip knocking on the door. He could rip the thing off its hinges with a firm kick, but he didn’t really want to walk in on her if there was nothing wrong. That would earn him yet another bullet to the brain which he most certainly didn’t need.
“Lady, are you in there? Is everything alright?”
No response; only the unceasing sound of the water as it drained from the taps.
Dante lost what little composure he had left, his mind getting the better of him instantly. His life was never normal. It was just as likely Lady had been attacked by demons than she had merely fallen asleep in the bath. He hammered on the door, knowing that she’d laugh at him later for over-reacting, but not caring right now. That feeling of unease was crawling up his spine; he knew that something about this situation was not right.
“Lady open the door now or I’m breaking it down! And you’d better be decent!” He tried for a threatening tone and failed miserably, his voice completely lacking any conviction. The realization that he was worried about her might have made him laugh had the situation seemed less dire. Lady could take care of herself, she never asked for his help – well at least not since Temin-Ni-Gru – and she had made it clear countless times that she would never need it. So why should he be feeling like this when he knew she could handle stuff which would send grown men running for their lives?
Dropping down he rested against the door to peer through the keyhole. At other times such a thing might have seemed perverted; right now he didn’t even bother to think about it. He couldn’t get a very good view of the room, but what he saw was enough to make him start. Lady’s hand was dangling limply from the bath – her back to him – a bottle of some drink or another was lying beneath her out-stretched fingers and another two were smashed on the bathroom floor. In an instant he was standing again and it only took one harsh kick to send the door down.
Lady’s next thoughts came a while later with the realization she must have passed out again. This time her head ache seemed to have receded a little and she chanced opening her eyes to take a look around. Her bi-coloured eyes widened when she found that she was no longer at Devil May Cry. In fact she couldn’t place where she was at all. Her mind was still muggy and it took her a long time of simply lying there – for she had at least determined she was in a bed – before comprehension hit her. The smells, the sounds… she was in a hospital…? Why? What had happened? Her mind was still too confused by the alcohol to think straight and it was infuriating; only serving to increase her head ache.
Then realization hit her, making her feel sick; Dante.
He must have found her… then where was he now? Sitting up in bed she growled in frustration, feeling the wires hooking her up to the various beeping and whirring machines in the room. She ripped them away and then decided that maybe she should have reconsidered doing so as an alarm went off announcing that she was dead. This was typical, just typical, if she hadn’t been feeling so terrible she would have laughed.
Now he understood though, he understood perfectly and he gritted his teeth at the memories of all those pitiful looks which had been thrown his way as he had explained what had happened and sat in the ambulance. At the time he had been too afraid for Lady’s safety to notice them, but now they made him want to break something. He shook his head inwardly chastising himself. He was such a fool to not have noticed what was happening. Lady had been acting strangely the whole week prior, seeming lost in her thoughts and hogging the bathroom every morning. He had thought she was merely doing women things, like washing her hair and preening – not that Lady had ever been a one for it, but you never could tell with her – but now he knew the truth.
The door opened suddenly; making him jump and spill his coffee all over his hands. It stung, but he barely noticed.
“Erm… Dante was it…?” A nurse questioned eyeing him suspiciously. He must have looked like a wreck. He hadn’t slept all night and he was still in his demon-hunting attire which had the occasional blood stain and tear in it. He desperately needed a new shirt, but their budget for the month had been tight and it had been a new shirt or pizza. The choice had been an obvious one, though now he was wishing he’d gone for the new shirt. He probably fit the role of psychotic boyfriend perfectly. Everyone here had been telling him that Lady needed to see a psychiatrist, asking personal questions and showing that they quite blatantly thought this was his fault in some way or another. His short temper with said people had not helped his case much.
Dante could only nod in answer to her question, his throat suddenly dry.
“Your girlfriend-” the nurse started, but he cut across her.
“She’s not my girlfriend,” he ground out.
She nodded flashing him another of those understanding, pitying, looks everyone in this place seemed to give him. He could tell that they blamed him – and to an extent he did too, but if Lady had just told him instead of being so stupid…
“Oh, alright, well your friend is awake,” she replied emphasizing the word.
He was silent for a moment then set his coffee down on a table and stood trying to calm his heart as it began to hammer in his chest. He couldn’t deny that he wanted, no needed to talk to Lady. He needed to understand why she had done it…
“Thanks, well I’d better-”
She caught his arm before he could leave the room and looked him in the eye. She generally did look sad this time, but he still wasn’t convinced. “I’m sorry, we did the best we could, but the baby died early this morning.” The paradox of what she had just said failed to register in his mind as he was reminded once again of the truth of what had happened.
Dante faltered then feeling as though someone had just punched him in the stomach; hard. His face paled and he closed his eyes for a second to regain composure, gritting his teeth.
He swallowed hard and threw the woman a glare, not caring that she had nothing to do with the situation. “How do you know it was mine?” His voice was cold, filled with more venom than he had intended and the nurse appeared to be a little taken aback.
“I-I’m sorry, I just assumed…”
Dante shook his head slowly, not quite believing that he was having this conversation. “I don’t care, just take me to her.”
He only half-listened as the woman explained that Lady’s condition was stable, that if everything went well she would be able to leave tomorrow… though it was advised she have some form of counseling. The truth of the situation was only just sinking in and it was far too much for him to take without her talking. When they reached Lady’s room she held the door open for him and he thanked her - though he would have much preferred if she had left him to himself – and entered the room.
Lady was lying in bed, her head turned towards the window, staring blankly at the rain. His foot-steps seemed awfully loud in the silent room as he made his way to the chair next to her bedside and sat down.
Silence hung in the air for minutes which seemed to stretch on for eternity then Lady turned her head to stare at the ceiling. She couldn’t look him in the eye, but she didn’t think she could stand the tension much longer either.
“Dante?” She croaked, knowing that she sounded pathetic and hating herself for it.
“So you’re alive,” he observed coldly, eyes suddenly turning icy.
She shivered at the tone of his voice, swallowing. “I guess I am,” Lady replied, her words oddly hollow.
“It’s dead.”
Lady hated the eerie calm to his voice; it made her feel sick. She wanted him to yell at her, but he was only starring at her, his electric blue eyes boring a hole in her head. “I know.”
“But that’s what you wanted isn’t it?” His tone was brutally cold now, still devoid of anger – still frighteningly calm. In all honesty he reminded her of his twin more than himself right now – though she had only met Vergil very briefly – but she hesitated to point that out. Apart from it’s being perfectly irrelevant it would seem like a nasty trick to throw him off guard. She saw what any mention of his brother did to Dante and he was under enough pressure now as it was; he was trying his best to hide it, but she could see the cracks already appearing. In a moment something would break and that set her on edge. She realized with a start that she was, for once, afraid of him. Not in a big way, but this cool and collected Dante was one she had never come across and it was even worse when she could tell there was a bitter anger eating away at him just beneath the icy surface of his eyes.
Lady couldn’t lie to him; they both knew the truth of the matter even though it was hard to say. “Yeah, it was.” She managed to keep her voice nonchalant, though she was far from it. She didn’t know how to begin to make him understand; and she had never guessed that he would react like this.
Dante’s jaw clenched anger flooding through him. “You’re being oddly calm about this.”
“So are you,” she shot back fire sparking in her voice. Lady knew she should have discussed this with him first; she should have had it done properly. After all it was her life, Dante had never appeared to be one for children, but now she was worried she had been grievously mistaken.
He was silent then and she finally got up the courage to look at him. Pulling herself upright in the bed she caught his eyes with her own mismatched ones. “Look, I know it was the wrong way to go about things, but at the end of the day it was my decision… you wouldn’t understand.”
He bristled at her comment eyes sparking. “Why do you always tell me that? Why don’t you try and explain it to me for once?” His gaze locked with hers challenging her to justify what she had done and part of her knew that she couldn’t.
She took a breath, thinking. “I didn’t want it. It’s that simple; I didn’t want it and I was afraid you’d talk me into keeping it,” Lady swallowed and looked at him, studying his face intently. Technically she was telling the truth, though she’d left out the reason why she hadn’t wanted the child. There were a number of reasons, but the main one – the one which had made her feel ill merely thinking about it – was that she had had a demon growing inside of her. “I thought I could handle it by myself,” she shook her head a laugh escaping her lips; it wasn’t a happy sound. “Besides, I never thought you’d react this way. You don’t seem like the type to want to settle down – and I’m not ready for that either.”
Dante nodded slowly resting his head in his hands. He understood what she was saying; the idea of being a father frightened him, but at the same time it filled him with sadness. He would never be ready to settle down. His life just wasn’t like that and he wouldn’t have wanted to endanger a child with such a life-style, but he couldn’t abandon demon-slaying either. His life’s priorities were oddly out of place, but it came with the job. And yet some part of him couldn’t quite forgive her for not discussing it with him first.
“And you wouldn’t exactly want a kid growing up with us as role-models. It would probably end up more screwed up than we are and that’s saying something.” Lady was trying to lighten the mood, but from the expression on his face she was failing miserably. He was lost somewhere in his own thoughts, his glacial eyes frosting over as he peered over his hands at the rain outside. Was it really hurting him that much? Was there some part of the happy-go-lucky half-demon which longed for some form of security?
She leaned over to grasp one of his hands in hers, but he pulled his away sharply as though he had been burnt. “Dante…”
He shook his head muttering softly to himself. “You always say that to me… why? Do you think I’m stupid? Every time I ask you a serious question you tell me I wouldn’t understand you. Do you think I’m stupid… or-” memories of their conversation back in the tower of fear pierced his mind and he threw her a sharp side-long glance. “Or is it because I’m a demon?” He pinned her with brilliant blue eyes. The mask had slipped now; he was angry, she couldn’t tell whether his ire was directed at himself or her, but she could see it clearly. “Does that still bother you? Would it have made any difference to you if I wasn’t one? Would today have been different-”
Lady found her tongue glued to the top of her mouth as she stared at him with horror blatantly clear in her eyes. She knew his anger tended to be self-destructive; that no matter how much it seemed to be directed at her he was killing himself inside. And yet she could barely string a few coherent words together. “Dante… I-”
He flew at her then; grabbing her by the arms in a vice like grip – it wasn’t enough to hurt her; he wouldn’t hurt her. His face was inches away from hers now and she found herself unable to look away from his piercing blue eyes. “Just tell me!”
Panic was racing, thrumming, through her blood scattering her thoughts. The heart rate monitor had picked up the pace, letting out a high-pitched beeping which was impossibly loud in the sudden quiet.
“Tell me,” he hissed through gritted teeth, “would it still be alive if I weren’t a demon?”
The tears came then, a natural reaction to the complete shock and fear rushing through her. A harsh sob escaped Lady’s lips and she nodded feebly. Truth be told, if it hadn’t been a demon she would have looked on the whole thing in a different light. She had felt a bitter resentment as soon as she had found out that she was pregnant, knowing that if it hadn’t been Dante’s she would have felt slightly giddy about the whole thing. Terrified, but with an odd sense of happiness none the less. Instead she had had to fight down the wave of nausea which washed over her.
The door burst open then; someone must have heard the raised voices. Dante had already let go of her though, falling back in the chair a dazed expression on his face. He was staring at her, lips parted slightly as though he wanted to speak his face the perfect picture of stunned pain. In fact if Lady didn’t know better herself she would have said that his face matched her idea of someone who had just been stabbed through the heart.
The situation was judged immediately and the doctor who had entered the room, along with a nurse, gave Dante a pointed look. “I’m afraid we’re going to have to ask you to leave.”
The Demon-hunter nodded and rose to his feet eyes still fixed on Lady. “I was just leaving anyway.”
Lady could only watch his back through eyes clouded with tears. His voice had slipped back into that same hollow tone and it reverberated around her head making that queasy feeling return full force. A woman was at her bedside trying to calm her, though Lady could barely register anything beyond Dante’s hurt expression and a sudden stab of regret in her own heart.
Oh yeah and please don’t flame me because ‘abortion is wrong yadda yadda’ I’m not in the mood for politics right now and besides this story doesn’t express my own views on the subject. Quite frankly, my own views are somewhat divided.
-Lady Luce
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