Author: kiaronna PM
We all know how... SPECIAL Serra is. She can get into all sorts of trouble. 10th story: Rath, the punk Sacaean, gets some blackmail on Serra. And what does he do with it? ...He gets love advice. Way to go, Rath. Way to go. Don't own FE!Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor - Serra - Chapters: 19 - Words: 56,422 - Reviews: 109 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 09-16-09 - Published: 06-24-07 - id: 3613741
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: Well, this is my first FE piece. Please read and review!
Serra was sitting on the ground, re-adjusting her gloves and hair, when a shadow fell over her perfect body.
"What are you DOING?" Came the slightly calm, slightly angry voice of Ann, their tactician. "I told you to go heal Hector AGES ago! And he's still injured!"
Now, Serra being an intelligent and perfect individual, she didn't get angry. "Well, my hair was messed-up. You must understand that my hair is very important to my cleric work." She wrinkled her nose. Elimine's servants weren't supposed to lie. Oh well.
"You didn't follow my orders because your HAIR was MUSSED?"
"Messed," Serra corrected, priding herself on her larger vocabulary.
"No, I meant that- Oh, never mind. Just hurry up and get healing!" She turned, her cloak swishing, and stalked away.
"Meanie," Serra sniffed, standing up. The ground had been too dirty for her holy presence anyway.
However, she had to do something about that boring tactician girl and her stupid ideas. Hector was obviously fine! He wasn't even bleeding too badly!
Although Serra was a bit ruffled by the fact that Ann was slightly pretty. But even then, stupid Ann didn't like to show herself off!! How foolish! Obviously, she had almost as much talent as Serra! How else would she get that stubborn Hector and everyone else to fight for her?
Of course, Serra's sublime-ness clearly overruled Ann's. But still.
So that night, while sulking in her tent over the day's issues, Serra came up with a brilliant plan! It was so perfectly perfect that even that stuffy Ann couldn't help but go along!
Serra had ALWAYS been smart, a genious among her fellow clerics!
Ann had always been able to apply vulneraries well. Of course, she couldn't use something like a staff, but no matter!
Grinning, Serra began to brush her perfectly pink hair with swift, wild strokes.
"I've always wanted to be a tactician!!"
Ann was calmly explaining that day's issues and tomorrow's worries to Marcus, Eliwood, and Lyn (of the three, Lyn was the most fidgety. And Hector hadn't even come at all for fear of Ann's logic and reasoning).
They were all politely listening, and shifting near the fire for warmth.
Ann was whacked on the head with a Mend staff (cleverly stolen from Priscilla!), and her body was dragged away before anyone could comprehend what had just happened.
Serra was even more confident of her newfound tactician-y powers now.
A gagged Ann was sat against a tree.
"Listen up, Annie," Serra announced. Ann's previous exasperated look turned to one of fury. She HATED that name. Serra knew it, too. Even more brilliance! "I have come up with the most delightful idea! You can be a cleric, and I can be the tactician for a little while!"
Ann glared up at her, and said, "Serra, that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. Your brain simply cannot comprehend everything that is required for a tactician to comprehend. You will utterly fail and everyone in this army will be annihilated. It will be as if Nergal had descended upon us in the first chapter of Eliwood's story with an army of children of flame, and we will die! It will be as if-"
"I knew you would agree," Serra interrupted, having heard from Ann,
"Smmph, mmt zz dkk mmmsph mmrrphhh mrrrraa phuu e mph. Yoooorebaa smmphe kkkntt kommenph…" And on. You get the idea.
Ann, feeling defeated, slumped against the tree and prepared for "total anarchy", as she would have said.
Serra, feeling especially pleased with herself, twirled around, pigtails flying. "You won't even have to teach me, Ann!"
"Mmooof oooddnnn eennn mmy oo aaapm ooo," Ann responded (It meant, I wouldn't even attempt. It's hopeless).
"I already know everything, I know!"
"MMOOOO." (You are a long, long way from knowing everything, Serra. In fact, your comprehension of the world compared to mine is as a grain of sand pitted against a universe of beaches.)
"So, I'll just go back to the camp now and tell everyone that I'm in charge."
"Mmaphd owkd dwien duiiii." (You already play the part.)
"You just stay here."
By now, as you may have guessed, Ann's mouth was open so wide that the gag simply couldn't cover the whole thing. It fell out.
"B-but, Serra!! There are pillagers out here! You'd be sentencing me to death!"
Serra was already gone.
"Potete cursed per sempre e mai! Maggio il cielo distrugge voi e la vostra posterità!" Ann cried out in a frenzy. If you're wondering, Ann takes Italian. "¡Le odio!!" …And Spanish.
Meanwhile, back at the camp, Lyn, Eliwood, and Marcus were sitting dumbly around the fire. I mean, really. These are people who can't move unless they are controlled by a tactician or a computer. What do you THINK they would do if left unattended? With a plot twist that computers can't understand?
"I'm BACK!" Serra sang. "And guess what?? I'm the new tactician!!"
Staring blankly at her, the two lords and one paladin easily gave up. They were too tired and too uncontrolled to resist Serra's annoying voice and screeching order.
Meanwhile, back near the Ostian tents, where the grass was almost all green for lack of horses, Matthew's eyebrow began to twitch.
"Crikey. Something's wrong."
"Did you just say CRIKEY?" Hector asked, wondering why he had never heard the word before.
"Yeah…" Matthew said. He shook his head. "Never mind. It's just I always get this feeling when that annoying Serra is doing something that's going to make us all into mincemeat."
"And you say crikey?"
"No, I say, 'Blimey! What's wrong now?!'"
"Hm. Well, Matthew, for lack of sleep, you're dismissed for the night."
"But young master-"
Hector pushed him into his tent.
"My crazy servants. Well, no matter how insane, Matthew's probably right. Let's go check on the pink-haired devil."
They all had no idea what they had gotten into…
A/N: Part 2 next time... This is just going to be a collection of random moments for Serra that I think of.