-This is a work of fiction based on The Gashlycrumb Tinies, a poem and alphabet primer by Edward Gorey. It is rated T for violence resulting in accidental and intentional deaths. This work is written purely for entertainment value. Please don't sue me.-

-Thanks to Francis Ford Coppola for the oranges.-

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T is for Titus
by Elisabeth Henry

Titus picked up the neatly-wrapped brown package. The plain white label said 'Antonio Vincenzo Mancito, Jr', and it was post-marked from New York City.

Antonio was Titus' roommate. He was away from their Islington boarding school on breavement leave or some such. He was an American; his father had recently been shot while buying oranges. Titus had the impression that their family was involved in some important organisation, but Antonio was never specific about it.

Titus shook the parcel. It rattled slightly. Antonio always received such lovely presents from his family in New York. Food, books, clothes, and sometimes even money.

He knew he shouldn't open the package -- Titus was an honest boy, after all -- but the temptation to see what was inside was so strong! It might be a new kind of American sweet, or one of those comic books they both loved to read after class.

This package was small and cosy-looking. It was wrapped in brown paper and tied with fuzzy string. Titus hesitated for just a moment before biting the string in half with his teeth. The paper fell away, revealing a small, red box. He turned it over in his hands a few times before opening it.

The explosion was heard as far away as Chelsea.

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T is for Titus who flew into bits...