Disclaimer: I don't own Phoenix Wright or any of those characters. I 'nicked' the title name from a song by 'The Cure'. It's an amazing song to be fair.

A/N: Big, massive thanks to my beta Olivia, a.k.a PawnofPawns. She's done a great job of spiffying this scribbling up :D

Warning: Slash.

You
Soft and only
You
Lost and lonely
You
-Just Like Heaven-

This was too good to be true!

Mr. Larry Butz, misunderstood genius, was currently in a club full of beautiful, young chicks. Not only that, but he was also on his own.

There was no other person of the male gender to be seen in a Miles' radius… Well, obviously apart from Miles who was doing the radius-checking.

But he didn't count, obviously.

"There are no men! Larry, you idiot, why on Earth have you brought me to an all female's club? You do know that none of them will be interested in you because it's a ga-"

"WHOA! Edgey, dude, look at the hot babes getting off with each other! Is this heaven or what?" Larry exclaimed extremely loudly down Miles' ear and jumped up and down with glee. He was literally bouncing off the walls in every sense of the phrase. "Oh man, that is so erotic!"

Miles, in contrast, looked extremely peeved off. The sweaty, claustrophobic atmosphere and terrible music were really getting to him. Larry's heaven was obviously his hell, and he was going to be as uncooperative as possible.

Well, more uncooperative than normal at least…

If he'd have known that he and Larry would be left together for God only knows how long, he would have stayed in the comparatively spacey airing cupboard all night.

Miles aggressively tapped his arm with his finger and closed his eyes in an attempt to calm his nerves so he wouldn't do something to the 'genius' next to him that he'd regret in the morning.

"It's a female gay bar, Larry," he responded coldly.

"Oh, right…" Larry's voice trailed off. He paused for thought and crossed his arms. "Do you reckon any of them will be up for a third party?" He winked at Miles and nudged him in the arm with his elbow. "If you know what I mean, eh?"

Miles glared back at him. "I understand perfectly what you mean and I highly doubt it."

With that statement, the pissed off prosecutor grabbed Larry by the arm and forcibly dragged him out of the club's small doors.

"…call me, Babes! I'm free anytime tomorrow night!" called out Larry behind him towards a woman who was giving him a confused look.

Miles pushed him down onto the paving. "Ow, what was that for?" He rubbed the wrist that the man opposite had grabbed in a pathetic manner and pouted up at Miles.

"Second best to the reaper himself you are going to be the death of me," Miles intoned icily, scowling at the idiot beneath him. "Do you know how much of a fool you looked? Why did I follow you? How did we even get into an all-female club?" He shook his head at the whole stupid idea and stormed out of the back ally they were in.

"Must be your feminine charms," muttered Larry.

"I heard that!"

The cheeky man simply smirked and got up to follow on after Miles at a much slower pace.

After they had exited the alley, he stopped and looked back onto the club's doors. Larry sighed melodramatically, loud enough for the man in front to hear. "That place was like the forbidden fruit, so tempting, just dancing there ready to be tasted, and yet it's all off-limits, and none of them will ever give me a second look again! Oh, woe…" He fell to his knees in a dramatic pose and raised his arms to the heavens.

He looked up to meet eyes with a fuming Miles. "Heh, how good was that? I've always thought of myself as being very philosophic."

"Fruits don't dance," Miles replied with an air of arrogance.

He whipped around to start walking towards the nearest café; a nice cup of tea was urgently needed if he was going to survive this nightmare.

"Awh, come on Edgey. Where's you sense of humour? Where's the adventure?" Larry scrambled up and chased after Miles, hovering round him like an annoying mosquito. "Let's go for a rave! Or we can go bungee jumping-you ever tried deep sea diving?"

Miles, respectively, managed to keep most of his cool demeanour.

"Larry, sod off."

"…why don't we go out on the pull? I heard that chicks melt at the sight of steel eyes and an important stature…"

"If you're not going to shut up, then so help me I'll…"

Larry blatantly ignored him and continued with his wistful thinking. "…we could go to Greg's place I suppose…"

Miles rolled his eyes and just kept on walking towards the café.

"…but then again whips-of course-are preferred in that brothel, and I'm all out."

Stopping abruptly so the man behind him nearly collided with his stiff form, Miles turned around swiftly and gaped at Larry.

"WHAT? No brothels! I draw the line at brothels!"

"Joking! Just joking!" Larry took a step back and waved his hands out in front of him defensively.

Miles turned back to face away in frustration, clenching his fists. Eventually, he realised that they had reached the slightly run-down café.

Well, he presumed it was a café. Considering the blinking, neon sign read '-afé'… he guessed the C had broken down.

Through the glass windows, Miles could see six or seven square tables that seated four with lucid, chequered red and green, plastic mats on them. His nose crinkled at the two patrons that were currently slumped in the far corner, bent over a newspaper, and then they returned to the bored, hyper-active man next to him.

Miles decided to risk drink-poisoning rather than have to put up with that man without a good cup of warming, calming tea.

He yanked the metallic door open and accidentally-on-purpose managed to hit Larry on the nose with it before stalking over to the counter.

"Ow, what was that for?" Larry called out indignantly. He rubbed his nose and sulkily sat down onto a spare table and chair set to start playing with the salt.

Miles eventually came back (after Larry had abused most of the spilt salt by drawing pictures of smiley faces) with some warm milk and Earl Grey tea. "Here you are- just how you like your milk, Larry."

"Dude, I'm not nine any more…" Larry's cool tone drifted off and his blue eyes widened at the mug. "Whoa! Look, I even get marshmallows!"

Miles smirked and took a seat next to the excited guy. "I've basically got to baby-sit you for the next half an hour. Do you have any suggestions as to what can pass the unbelievably slow time?" He asked, stirring his tea three times clockwise, then five anti-clockwise, (It obviously makes the tea taste better if you count) and taking a sip.

There was a pause as he re-tracked what he'd just said in his head.

"In fact, ignore that. You're going to do exactly as I say, and no strip clubs or brothels or skate parks."

"Why the hell would I want to go to a skate park?" Larry laughed and slapped him on the back. "Dude, you're crazy."

"Indeed."

Miles watched on in fascination as a still laughing Larry fished out a marshmallow and squished it between his fingers, eagerly watching the way the milk poured out of the spongy material.

He sighed exasperatedly. "Well, I suppose we're just going to have to sit in here for the rest of the time then." Whipping put a newspaper from somewhere, (probably from the amazing court record that's always hanging around,) Miles proceeded to read, peacefully and quietly…

"Don't look now, but an amazingly cute, leggy, blonde girl just walked into this dump," Larry suddenly whispered into Miles' ear, scaring him out of his wits (not that he'd ever admit that.).

Larry assumed his 'ultra-cool-laid-back' look which consisted of one arm stretched across the back of the chair and a serious, tilted-head pose - out of the corner of his mouth he managed to whisper a muffled, "Is she looking? Is she looking yet?"

Miles lowered his paper to look over the top of it. "No, Larry, no. She still isn't looking, and no, I don't think rolling your sleeves up will help."

"Resistance is futile. She'll notice me in a second, dude, just you watch." Larry said, snootily.

Miles raised a curious eyebrow, but said nothing more and got back to drinking his tea.

Sure enough, the blonde woman made her way over to the table.

"Hey, is that seat free? Would you mind awfully if I sat there?" She said in a sickly-sweet tone, fluttering her mascara-covered eyelashes and twiddling with a bit of loose hair in a way that could only be described as 'flirtingly'.

"Sure, babes, pull up a chair, and maybe we can get to know each other a bit better." Larry smoothly whipped round a chair for her to sit on but then noticed she didn't seem to be expecting an answer from him…

The blonde woman was staring at Miles, patiently waiting for a response.

The prosecutor realised the sudden absence of sound from the two. He looked up from his newspaper and tea-drinking to see what was wrong, only to find two pairs of hazel eyes staring back at him.

He blinked. "Excuse me?"

"I just asked if you wouldn't mind me sitting next to you," she said, eyeing his figure up and down while still playing with the loose bit of hair.

Insert amazingly warm smile with tantalising hair flick and, yep, Larry was hypnotised.

"Darling, you don't want to talk to that stick in the mud-come over and sit here." He anxiously patted the seat next to him, but to no avail. She just ignored him and pulled up a seat next to the unsuspecting prosecutor before he could even blink.

"So, what brings a guy like you to a place like this?" She gracefully rested her head on her hands and waited for an answer.

All Larry could notice was her perfect Mary-Sue looks, if only she had the personality to match.

Miles folded his paper up and looked over at Larry curiously. "Edgey, you're stealing my chick!" the sandy-haired man fumed under his breath.

The prosecutor snorted. "Don't be a moron," he whispered back, amusement clear in his voice, "She won't be interested in me, just give me a few minutes to get rid of her."

Larry just grumbled.

Miles turned to face her again. "If you were wondering why I was hovering round such a dump, then look no further than that genius over there."

Her elegant laughter made Larry drool even more, even though it was so… fake. "I suppose I should thank him then for bringing such a treat." She dipped one manicured finger into his drink and licked it, not even looking at Larry once.

Miles looked disapprovingly at his tea. There was no way on earth he could drink that now, he could only guess where this slut's fingers had been but he wasn't going to risk it. "Not as tasty as forbidden fruit… and you are?" He asked the question politely and formally.

"Don't worry about the complications, Sugar, all I see is an incredibly sophisticated, handsome man." At this she looked him up and down seductively, very slowly, and licked her lips. Oh, how much Larry wanted to taste those lips…

"I wouldn't call Larry sophisticated, or handsome for that matter," Miles replied offhandedly.

Larry couldn't believe it; Miles was so totally and deliberately blowing her off! She was such a great catch as well.

That snobby prosecutor obviously has no taste.

"Larry? Is that your name? Well, I suppose if referring to yourself in third person floats your boat, it's a name that could roll off my tongue quite nicely."

Miles nearly jumped out of his seat when he felt something brushing against his leg, but resisted against it.

He needed to keep his cool, even when trying to get rid of this persistent woman.

"This must be a drafty place; I could have sworn I felt something rubbing against my leg," Miles said innocently, looking towards the door pretending to check if it was closed or not.

He leaned back as she suddenly leaned forward – God, when would this woman get the frickin' message?

"Come on, you know you want to go with me," she replied, leaning in closer still. "I'll show you some good fun. Will you go out with little, bondage-loving me?"

Finally, she'd gotten to her point! Now, this was Miles' favourite part. With a little smirk, he leaned into her ear and whispered something that Larry couldn't hear, and then Miles lightly kissed her cheek and turned back round to face the bewildered man.

The blonde slut's face was a picture. She gasped and slowly got up to walk right out of the café, without looking back once, avoiding Miles like the plague. He then started to chuckle.

"Two minutes, it's a record."

Larry gaped at the silly man in front of him. "Dude, you were so totally in there! What did you go and say? Why did you blow her off? I would have done her!" He was astounded, what the hell was Edgeworth thinking?

"Come off it, Larry, she was not even close to my standard."

"You must have a high standard! Ok, maybe you're slightly good looking but a woman like that… you can't find one every day!" Larry raised his arms in exaggeration.

"Yes, it's very easy to find a woman of her standard. You just visit the nearest whore-house." Miles said, somewhat bored with Larry's twittering.

"But… but… when was the last time you ever got laid? Edgey man, don't tell me you didn't find her the least bit attractive?"

Miles sighed and ignored the idiot. He started to twiddle his thumbs.

This reaction just provoked Larry even further.

"Come on! Tell me what you said to her!" he wined.

"You really want to know?" Miles rested his chin in his hand; this was going to be fun.

"Yes, I bleeding well want to know!"

"I told her I had HIV."

Larry replied with shocked silence and then started stammering.

"H…HI….w…wha…couldn't possibly…wait a moment… isn't that contagious?"

This was going to be a long fifteen minutes.

"No, it's not contagious, it's passed on by unprotected sex, and I don't really have it, I just wanted to get rid of her." He picked up the paper he had diligently been trying to read all night. "Now please, just shut up and let me read my newspaper in peace while I wait for the call."

Larry managed to keep quiet for all of fifteen seconds. "But dude, you never told her that, did you? Why the hell would you do that?"

Breathe deeply, hold for ten seconds, breathe out, you are calm, you are calm…

"She was so fit! You don't want her to tell all her gorgeous mates that you have a horrid disease! Oh my god I really don't understand you…"

Miles hit the table out of anger and glared back at the rambling man. "Larry, Shut. Up! I just didn't want to get with her, why can't you understand that?"

Damn it, Miles hated loosing his cool, but it was hard not to with that half-sized brain of a man.

"Because, she was pretty and nice looking, and you're a male..." Larry replied, quietly fading away, and cowered a bit at the look on Miles' face which he saw slowly turn back into the usual emotionless state.

"Not all men have to get turned on by pretty women."

Miles mentally kicked himself; he had forgotten who he was talking to there for a second.

"…dude, that's just not right." Larry leaned forward and pressed the back of his hand to Miles' forehead. "Are you ill?" The self-proclaimed philosopher's brain then started to whir at full speed-why would Edgey not get turned on by pretty women? Did she have head lice? Was her breath smelly? Come on you dammed brain, think faster…

Then he heard a phone start to ring.

"Finally! Get off my forehead-that'll be the locksmith now."

He slapped away Larry's hand and picked up his phone.

"Alright, sir."

"Hello, is that Mr. Williams, the locksmith?"

"That is me, sir. Just ringing to say I'm at your door now. You may want to be here when I break that lock."

Miles held back on shouting out an undignified 'Finally'!

"Thank you, we'll be over shortly."

"Good day, sir."

Miles slipped the phone back into his pocket.

"And let that be a lesson to you, Larry- never lock yourself out of someone else's house by throwing the keys down the chimney," said the dark haired man as he got up. "Oh, and you're paying for the locksmith, of course."

Larry was off on another planet. The meaning behind Miles' words was there in his mind's eye; he knew that he knew what they meant! He racked his brains for an answer.

What could it mean… what it could mean…

"Larry? Hey, Butz!" Miles waved his hand in front of the vacant expression of his friend.

Larry was totally spaced out, mouth hanging slightly open with a bit of drool making its way down to his goatee… it took a lot of effort to think.

"Look, the guy is there already. I want to go home, and as fun as tonight has been, I'm finished babysitting you, alright?"

After seeing that Larry wasn't going to respond any time soon, Miles grabbed his hand and pulled him up out of the café and down the street heading for the car park.

The whole reason why tonight's events had happened was because Larry suggested they go out on the town while they waited for the guy to come and fix the lock.

Miles had stupidly followed, and now he was deeply regretting it.

Larry had zoned out and so it was easy to lead him back towards the car park, but when they got there he recognized a certain woman's face…

It was the same leggy blonde from the café. She was leaning on a pillar of concrete, smoking a cigarette while sulking with a sour look on her once seductive face.

Miles desperately tried to find a route around her, but it didn't look as though luck was on his side.

The blonde caught sight of him and stood up straight, eyeing up the fact that Miles was currently dragging the man next to him by the hand.

"So, is that Phoenix…? Well, I hope you're happy, blowing me off like that; we could have had something good." She seemed really pissed off and gave them both a sneer before flicking her cigarette to the floor. "All the best to you two I suppose." With one more disgusted look at Larry (noticing him for the first time), she stubbed out her cigarette and stormed off in a rage.

Wasn't that a coincidence and a half?

Yes, what was that she had said, 'all the best to you two', haha, what a strange woman. Hang on a second…

Larry regained normal mode (well, as normal as a normal mode for Larry could get) and shook off Miles' hand. This didn't look good to Larry… "Edgey, what did you really tell her?"

"What are you talking about?" Miles answered brashly. He was slightly perspiring (he never sweats, he perspires) and if it was anyone else but Larry, he'd have figured it out already.

He quickly pulled out his car key-sadly, this had no house key on the ring. He made a mental note to add one-and opened the door as quickly as possible.

Larry climbed inside with him, and they set off in silence for the first five minutes, until…

"…that blonde woman-how did she know Nick's name?"

"I wouldn't know." Miles gripped the steering wheel a bit harder.

"Right. So, you didn't mention anything about him to her at all then?"

"No, I did not." Miles hoped that Larry hadn't worked it out already, his gear changes were getting more and more rash.

"Right. Ok." Larry looked out the window and started to zone out again; unfortunately, Miles thought this was Larry's way of being sarcastic, and Miles' paranoid side kicked in.

"What have you worked out, what do you know?"

Larry turned back around and blinked. "...huh? You just said…"

"Stop patronising me! Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, tell me what you know! Tell me god damn it!"

"Chill dude… I was just wondering how she would know Nick's name…"

"Phoenix, I mean, Wright has got nothing to do with this!" Miles looked furiously back and forth between Larry and the road.

Larry jumped up from his seat; Miles was scary when he was angry. "Since when have you called him Ph…"

"It's none of your business what I do in my spare time!" Hang on, Larry really didn't know what he was talking about, and Miles had just gone and stupidly said all that…

"…you're doing what? What's Nick got to do with anything?" Then it struck him like an elephant with a bad head.

The car reached a sudden stop outside Miles' house and they both quickly jumped out of their seats like they had just been electrocuted.

"Edgey, what did you really tell that cute, blonde woman?" Larry said. His eyes narrowed and a solitary eyebrow rose.

"…I already have a partner." Miles replied quietly and cast his eyes to the floor to avoid Larry's gaze.

The other man dropped the narrowed eyes and stroked his chin. "First I've heard of that, what's her name? Oh, and I didn't think that would have stopped her from hitting on you, Edgey."

"Ah, yes, maybe if I hadn't told her it was a boyfriend."

Larry nodded, that made perfect sense! If Miles was gay then of course she wouldn't hit on him. He walked down the driveway, happy that he had finally found out what had happened.

He was a great detective as well as philosopher, how talented.

Then he came to a sudden halt.

"Hang on, A WHAT? Boyfriend, as in…"

"Of the male gender."

He spun around crazily. "You're joking, right?"

"Not this time."

Larry stared at him wide eyed and mouth down to his knees and then shook his head. "Heh, I knew it was your feminine charms that got us into that club."

"What did you say?" Miles asked suspiciously.

"You're queer?"

"No comment."

"You like it up the bum?"

"Larry…"

"You're a puff?"

"…insulting gay people won't get you anywhere." Miles said haughtily.

He turned around to see his front door totally bust open already. It appeared the locksmith hadn't waited and could be spotted through the front window sitting down with a coffee in his hand.

"Who are you're seeing then, Edgey?"

"Shut up, Larry."

"Who's the lucky man?" Larry was amazingly doing the mosquito impression once again. "Do I know him? Were you lying? Come on Edgey, you can tell me."

He kept his look focused on the inside of the front room and spotted a stray milk carton resting on the coffee table.

Bastard, that locksmith has nicked the last of the milk…

"Edgey! Edgey! EDGEY!"

Miles rolled his eyes. "Fine, fine." An evil smirk rose onto his handsome face and he turned to pin Larry against the wall. "You really want to know?" the prosecutor asked in a gravelly tone.

"Yes I d-" Larry squeaked and cut off the rest of his sentence as Miles leaned in slightly too close for his liking, face centimetres away from his own. "Dude, what are you doing?"

Miles' smirk grew wider and he whispered something into Larry's ear.

Larry's mouth dropped for the second time. "Ni…Ph...?"

"But secretly I've been after someone else… someone who I know just as well…" Miles said sensually as leaned in even further towards Larry, making their noses brush together. "Do you know who that is?"

"N…Oh my god, no!" Larry looked at Miles and panicked, squirming to get out of his grasp. "No, no, no! I may be ridiculously handsome, but no! You can't… we're friends! You and him? And now me? I… I…"

And with that Larry blacked out.

He never heard the chuckle Miles gave-oh yes, Miles can joke to.

Larry was so funny to wind up, so conceited. Miles carried the limp figure into his car and sat him up in the front seat. He picked up his phone and dialled a number he knew only too well…

"Hello?"

"Edgeworth?" The grumpy, tired voice groaned. "It's eleven o'clock, this had better be important!"

Miles chuckled. "Yes it is. Very. I think Larry's finally figured us out."

There was a pause on the other end of the line."…What?"

"Don't worry, he's sound asleep," Miles replied casually, as though that made it all better.

"Oh my God… Edgeworth, how can you be so calm about this?" The other person's voice seemed to gain a panicky tone. "He's not going to disown us is he?"

"No, I don't think he's too bothered by it all…" Miles decided to miss out the part about him blacking out after being mockingly hit on. "Hopefully, he'll think it a bad dream."

"Damn't!" There was a loud noise that came from the other end that sounded like the other person had hit the desk, then the sound of scuffling that sounded like the person had started pacing. "…Won't he think it's strange? We've all been such good friends…"

"Stop being an idiot and get a grip," Miles replied hotly. "Look, he was going to find out sometime, and now is as good a time as any. If he's a true friend, he won't think any more of this relationship."

There was a hesitation, before the voice spoke up again. "I… I suppose…" This was punctuated with a long sigh. Miles could just imagine the person rubbing their hair in an exasperated manner. "I need to see you again… I can't get you out of my head."

Miles closed his eyes and smiled gently. He had been having the exact same problem. "Same place?"

"Geeze, I'm so looking forward to that spacey cupboard, Edgeworth," this was laced with sarcasm.

"It's not me that doesn't want people to see us together," Miles scoffed.

"… but once more people figure it out… I'm scared what people will think! What impact would it have on my job if people knew I was dating a prosecutor?"

"Don't worry your pretty little defence attorney head about it," Miles replied, not unkindly. "You know I don't care what people think about us."

"…but I do."

His voice melted and his tone became serious as he said the last line with all the sincereness he could muster.

"I'll always stick by you, Wright. Always. I won't push you to take a step further unless you're ready."

He saw the smile that graced Phoenix's lips in his mind.

Without waiting for a response, Miles cut off the call and rested his back on the car seat, smiling genuinely and thinking about tomorrows prospects.

Larry's discovery was definitely a step in the right direction.

You
Strange as angels
Dancing in the deepest oceans
Twisting in the water
You're just like a dream

-Fin-