Dear Stupid Pink Diary,

I hate Kid!

Woah, sister! Hold it! Me; stupid? You clearly haven't thought through that diaries do not have brains to think with. Wait, I'm pink?

Yea… my dad gave you to me at the age of six.

How old are you now?

Seven

Okay… then why pink?

I don't know!

Um… okay… so… why'd you hate this… Kid?

Because he's a lowly cowboy wanna-be who deserves to be crushed by a dinosaur.

Anything else?

I'm too lazy to write it down.

If I had a brain, I could think up of the possibilities you could have written down on my… is my pages pink too?

No, they're rainbow-colored.

Rainbow aren't that bad

Yes, I quite agree.

What were we talking about again?

How much of a cork-bum that Kid could be.

Right. Now why'd you hate his guts?

He dated my sister.

And?

He plays football.

I don't see why-

I was hit by a football that was flying at 25/hour, right into my face; followed by 5 smelly men. I was three, and I was hospitalized for about 2 years.

Ouch, you got traumatized

No, I didn't. I became a git who hated football ever since.

Were you in the playing field?

Do I seem stupid to you?

Now that you mention it-

That was a rhetorical statement! You don't even have eyes!

You make a good point

Of course.

So the cowboy football player is who you hate. Aside from being a cowboy and a football player and dating your sister, why'd you hate him?

He was the one who threw it.

…and?

…

I didn't get another reason

I can't say.

Why?

Because you'll know

I'm a diary I'm supposed to know your little secrets.

Oh yea.

Not the brightest crayon in the box, are you?

Not since that football accident.

You know what? You should stop B(censored)ing at me! Before I became your diary, I was; mutilated, burned by acid, cremated, shot, cursed, shunned, honey-poured-

Honey poured?

Long story; replaced, lost, and many other things! You don't see me complaining!

Just now you were-

I was making a point.

You're a diary; I'm supposed to vent my frustrations over you.

Then why do you think walls were invented?

Privacy.

Besides that!

Stick stuff on.

Getting closer

Draw on

Stuff that also doesn't apply to diaries.

…Pee on?

What?

I dunno.

Forget it. It seems I lose my patience to children before teenagers. So, what was the last reason why you hate that Kid… Hey, it rhymes with Bid, and sid… lid, hid, crib, bib, lib, Dib, fib, mid, fid, pid, rib, pie, quib, tib, tid, rid, chocolate, pid, pib, pimp, wid, wib, wud, wed, LOVE, and much much more.

…You do realize that most of those words either don't exist, or doesn't even rhyme at all.

Like what?

Like LOVE.

OH! So you love this Kid, eh?

What? NO!

Yea you do,

No I don't

Of course you do, you just love it how he walks and how manly his hips sway and when he corners you, and bends over real close to you and whisper, with his hot breath tingling your sensitive nose; "I love cheese burgers"

You're just scaring me.

I know (heart)

What heart?

AHA! SO YOU DO ADMIT YOU LOVE HIM!

I'm just repeating what you said.

Or are you?

Yes, I am quite sure.

Are you lying? You could be lying.

Why would I lie to a diary?

I dunno.

Unfortunately, at that moment, Kid walked into the child's room and picked up her diary, thinking it was a book. Since it was too outrageously girly to be a diary, and read the last two pages of writing, while keeping the diary out of her clutches.

Of course, he was stunned.

"You love me?" he said, and also quite disturbed at what the diary wrote about his hips and the cheese burgers.

"No! That diary is cursed! It replied everything! It even made up stuff, like that you liked cheese burgers!" she cried, snatching back her diary.

"But I do like cheese burgers…" Kid said.

"Is everything alright?" the child's older sister walked in.

"Sis! My diary is haunted! Look at what it wrote!" she showed her diary to her older sister.

"You love my boyfriend?" of course, she also read the cheese burger part.

"You like his hips?" she turned around to Kid, "You cornered her?" Now she's getting quite angry.

"No!" the child and Kid both yelled.

If you think about it, Kid doesn't look like he's a pedophile. But since he looked too mature for his age, most people would think he is one, when he goes out with teenage girls and what not.

So maybe he is.

"You're not helping!"

KID STOP CHOCKING ME!

GAH!

Fine

Here's your stupid Epilogue

Epilogue

Kid was dumped.

The kid was sent to an institute.

The sister went looking for a date with Sena, (you can look back at chapter Sena) and met the diary, and still hated her sister.