Disclaimer: I don’t own Doctor Who or anything to do with it, it belongs to the BBC. I don’t own the lyrics of this song, they belongs to Michelle Branch (yellowcard’s version is better, but I like hers too)

Note: I altered a few things in this.

Summary: Song Fic. The Doctor’s thoughts when he watched the Master die and then spending his time in the TARDIS alone. Ten/Master.

Everywhere

Turn it inside out so I can see
The part of you that's drifting over me
'Cause when I look you're, you're never there
But when I sleep you're, you're everywhere
You're everywhere

I held onto you.

I held onto you and I watched over you. Slowly, you drift into a deep sleep for eternity. I heard you laugh when you claimed your victory. Watching me cry was sweet bliss to your eyes, hearing me scream for you to come back over shadowed the constant drumming sound in your head. I can feel both your hearts beating slowly and soundlessly. It was the sound I wish never to heed again.

It was the day you died. The great Master of the Earth. You died I my arms. I began cradling your body and weeping you. Never in my life, did I feel such hurt and pain. Both my hearts were breaking; my soul and body was trembling. I cried for you so much, I could have sworn my voice was about to shatter at any moment.

Tell me how I got this far
Tell me why you're here and who you are
'Cause every time I look
You're never there
And every time I sleep
You're always there

I brought your lifeless and cold body to a safe place, where no one could find us. One by one, I started to collect large pieces of wood and stack them on top of each other, until eventually it looked like an alter. I carried you and placed your body on top of the wooden alter. I couldn’t bare looking at you when I watched you burn into smoke and ashes. The horrid smell of your rioting flesh caused me to cry once again.

I wanted you. I needed you back to me. We were the last of our kind, the last of the Time-Lords. Why did you do this to me? Is this a punishment I’ve been longing to get from you? So many questions rumble inside my mind, I don’t know how to answer them. If you were still alive with me right now, maybe you could have answered them for me.

'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
You're everything I know
That makes me believe
I'm not alone

Even though we were at each other’s throats since the first we met. You turned Atlantis into rubble, summoned up the dæmons, and destroyed Logopolis. You watched me regenerate into my fifth incarnation. You came back to torture me at the made up city of Castrovalva. You never gave up trying to defeat me. In the end, you never did, and you never will.

We hated each other so much. I couldn’t stand the sight of you or even look at you when we made that agreement on Logopolis. I hated you. I hated you so much.

I always thought you were the tyrant of the universe, the destroyer of worlds. I was wrong. I remembered seeing the dead look in your eyes when you watched me bring down Gallifrey, our home, our people, and the species that contact with it. I never saw so much fear in someone’s eyes before. You saw me as the tyrant, a monster. That’s all I’ll ever classify myself as, secretly. A Dalek once said to me ‘The Doctor, the great exterminator’. It was true, but I didn’t want Rose or Martha to know I was.

We’re both hypocrites, we’re both insane and we’re both lords of time, one good and one bad. There was a bittersweet chemistry between us and an unbreakable curse. You keep coming back to me, and I keep coming back to you.

Out of all the terrible things you’ve done in your life. You were only looking for one thing, like me, you deny it. I knew what it was and I said it. I came down to you like an angel. You huddled yourself up against the wall and cried. I wrapped my arms around you tightly and I whispered ‘I forgive you’. Never in a million years, I thought I’d do that. When I did, it was then I realized that we needed each other.

This was the end of you and I. You were never coming back and I fooled myself into believing so. Deep inside my mind, my soul and my hearts, you were coming. For now, all I can do is grief and mourn for you loss.

In my TARDIS, I stand and I think about what we did. Not once, even my teenage and adult years, not once did I ever have the chance to say this.

I loved you, Master. I always will.

The question is this.

Did you love me?