Maslow

Ninnik Nishukan

Summary: What do you need? Different aspects of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs applied to Drakken and Shego's daily lives in no particular order. Add a spoonful of uncomfortable silences, and we're good to go.

Family, Part V

Ever since this whole freaky family gathering had started, Shego had been praying for silence.

Now that she was actually getting it, however, it was practically making her scalp itch.

Drakken was poking moodily at his food, Eddie and Hego were glaring at each other, the twins were busy thumb wrestling, and Mego was sulking because nobody had cared much when he'd mentioned his new girlfriend, who Shego wasn't entirely convinced was anything more than a story he'd made up for attention.

The only sound that could be heard was Lucre's very enthusiastic consumption of the famous Lipsky pot roast dinner.

Mama Lipsky didn't seem to be noticing the less than idyllic mood, however. "Well...this is nice, isn't it?" She prompted, smiling serenely.

Her reply was a chorus of mutterings and vague grunts around the table, followed by a loud, dramatic, ho-hum kind of sigh from Mego.

Lucre's fork clattered onto his plate, signalling he was done eating; at least for the time being. Wiping his mouth with a napkin, he beamed at Drakken and Shego. "So, Claudia tells me you two are getting married," Lucre commented cheerfully, trying to spark a conversation.

Shego tensed, her hand continuing downwards in a sudden movement, her fork piercing the pot roast and going clean through the plate, but not before making a painful screeching noise as it scraped along the china, setting everyone's teeth on edge— just as Drakken did a terrific spit take, spraying Mego's face with a fine mist of saliva and Perrier.

"C-Claudia? Who's—" Drakken sputtered, completely baffled, before realization hit him and he blinked at his mother.

Ignoring Mego's 'HEY!' and his scowl and muttered curse words, Shego's gaze immediately landed on Mama Lipsky. "Excuse me, Mrs. L?" She demanded sharply.

Drakken was surprised to see that his mother actually possessed the good grace to look embarrassed. "Oh," she laughed an apologetic little laugh, "that's not what I said! Francis, you must've just gotten things mixed up a bit—"

Lucre looked puzzled. "But I thought you said you were looking forward to moving to Boca with that handsome bingo parlour owner now that your son had finally found somebody who could take care of him, and—"

At the mention of 'handsome bingo parlour owner', Drakken, who'd been taking another sip of Perrier to clear his throat, promptly gave Mego another unwanted shower. This earned another loud 'HEY!', which, again, nobody seemed to notice. Except for the twins, who snickered.

"No, no, no, sweetie," Mrs. Lipsky said hastily, "I said I wished my son would get married one day soon! I mean...he is forty-two already, and—"

"Forty-two?" Hego exclaimed, his normally deep voice going up a pitch or two. "This guy is way too old for my little sister! Why, she's barely out of college—"

"I finished college over five years ago, Hego," Shego interjected through clenched teeth. "I'm gonna be twenty-eight this winter— I'm hardly a little girl!"

Mama Lipsky brightened. "Twenty-eight? That sounds like just the right age!"

Shego's expression went dark. "Right age for what?"

"Well, I just meant— " For a second, Drakken's mother looked just a shade embarrassed once more, as if she'd been caught doing something she shouldn't have, but then her eyes flashed with offence. "Now don't you take that tone with me, young lady!"

"And what tone would that be, exactly?" Shego challenged icily.

Drakken stifled a whimper and leaned towards Shego. "Shego, please— don't provoke her," he hissed under his breath.

"I'm not the one doing the provoking around here," Shego hissed back, teeth gritting.

Mego, having just finished wiping his face for the second time, leaned back in his chair with a reproachful, almost pouty scowl. "Are you sure you're forty-two?" He goaded. "'Cause it could just be the shoddy villain's lair ceiling lights, but from here, you kinda look a lot older."

Shego gave a disgusted sigh; Mego was definitely the grudge holder in the family.

Outraged, Drakken snapped for air, but before he could speak, Eddie interrupted him. "Dude, maybe Drew's totally turning into a geezer—" Then he interrupted himself, sending a skeptical glance at his Cousin. "Seriously, when was the last time you partied, 'Cuz?" He asked, frowning overbearingly at Drakken; but he didn't wait for an answer as he went on, with a generous helping of smug self-satisfaction: "But ya see, dude, us Lipsky men, we have the goods where it counts— know what I mean? Seriously!"

Mama Lipsky smiled, nodding. "Hearts of gold," she clarified happily.

Eddie gaped at her, but apparently decided not to correct her. "Uh, yeah…hearts. Totally."

Drakken suppressed a growl of frustration. "Yes, thank you for that highly inappropriate little speech, Eddie, but I'm more than capable of speaking for myself!" He turned to Mego, looking down his nose at him with an indignant sniff. "I'll have you know that given the continuing increase in life expectancy, forty is the new thirty!"

Mego sent him a blank look. "Wouldn't that also make twenty-seven the new seventeen?"

"I see being lippy runs in the family!" Drakken sneered.

Mego caught the insult and threw it right back at him: "I just hope spitting things all over people's faces doesn't run in yours."

Drakken's mother immediately wagged a finger at him, glaring. "You mind your manners, young man!"

Shego's eyebrow cocked. "Remind me, Dr. D…what was that you said about not provoking?"

"He started it!" Drakken accused, pointing at Mego.

Mego sucked in a loud, theatrical gasp. "Did not!"

The twins grinned at each other and leaned just slightly forward in anticipation of Mama Lipsky's inevitable wrath.

Lucre shrugged, got himself another generous helping and went back to shoveling down the delicious and above all free dinner. This was nothing compared to a Lurman family reunion, anyway. To start with, there was less hypochondriac whining and better food.

Problem Solving, Part III

The only good thing about a Lipsky family dinner, Drakken considered, was that more often than not, everyone was too stuffed afterwards to bother each other much.

In the kitchen, his mother was happily doing the dishes even though he'd suggested she use his high-powered dishwasher, and on various chairs and on the couch, the dinner guests were slumped on their backs, groaning and holding their very full stomachs with a kind of content exhaustion.

For dessert, his mother had served up the rest of the Chocolate Blackout Cake with ice cream, and they'd certainly found out how it'd come to deserve its name.

Neither of them having had much of an appetite, Drakken and Shego were still standing, pacing around in the lab like caged tigers.

His mother probably assumed it was pre-wedding jitters, Drakken thought darkly. He shuddered to think what her attitude would've been like if she'd walked in on the hug instead of Eddie. Then she'd have probably been naming grandchildren already.

He found himself glancing contemplatively at Shego, then, and shook his head, wincing— it was probably better to put all thoughts about what had happened in the bathroom out of his mind until they could get rid of their relatives and he could actually hear himself think again— and even then, he wasn't quite sure if he was ready to analyze it much further.

Lost in these gloomy thoughts, Drakken nearly jumped out of his skin when Shego grabbed his arm. "I'm getting outta here while they're all still immobilized, Doc," she whispered urgently into his ear.

Standing stock still in surprise, he watched her slip out the door, fury twisting around something sort of lost and confused in his gut. All of a sudden, he didn't quite know whether he wanted to lock himself in his room or take it all out on his so-called house guests.

She was leaving. Again.

He almost jumped when Shego stuck her head back into the room. "Psst! Dr. D! Get your rear in gear!"

Drakken stared, momentarily but utterly disorientated. "Oh…um, right!" He blurted as he snapped out of it, hearing her irked sigh as he hurried after her.

Grateful that their escape was made easier by the fact that Mama Lipsky had the radio on in the kitchen, singing whole-heartedly along to some Motown oldie, they snuck out the front door, down the winding, wooden stairs and slipped through the humid underbrush of the jungle towards the hover car.

"I can't believe I had to go back for you," Shego reprimanded him as she steered the hover car towards Caracas, the town closest to their new jungle lair. "After all these years, shouldn't you know an opportunity to escape when you see one?"

Drakken pouted, feeling silly for having jumped to conclusions and unwilling to go into the real reason why he hadn't followed her. "Then why did you bother?"

She hesitated for a second, not quite understanding the question, wondering why he was even asking her that— and then wondering when she'd started taking it for granted that he'd follow her— but he should, shouldn't he? Seriously, what did she have to do, put up a big, red sign that said 'Escape Route'?

Another thought flashed across her mind, then, unexpected— had he doubted whether he'd been welcome to follow? But why wouldn't he be? What the heck did she have to do, hug him or something?

Oh, right. Already did that, she thought dryly, a burst of embarrassment hitting her gut hard before fading away into a slow, itchy simmer.

Couldn't have been that, anyway, she told herself, dismissing the idea, refusing to go into some awkward debate with herself over something as trivial as this. He'd just been a bit scatterbrained as usual, that's why he hadn't followed. She could sure remember countless times she'd had to yank him away from crime scenes because he'd been too busy cursing Kim Possible or gaping in disbelief at the remains of his newest evil toy to notice the police were on their way.

Shego tossed her hair, finally finding a suitable answer. "'Cause if I hadn't, you'd never have let me hear the end of it, and I've had enough nagging for one day." And that honestly couldn't have been truer even if it wasn't the whole truth. She was so sick of nagging she could taste it. She'd thought Hego had the market cornered on being controlling, pushy and overbearing, but he was an amateur compared to Mama Lipsky. Drakken wasn't really expecting a more complicated answer, anyway; judging by his sullen tone, at least. He just wanted to be cranky for a while.

"Well, we made a break for it, so there's not much more to talk about, is there?" Drakken remarked gruffly.

Shego fell silent.

Actually, there was too much to talk about, she thought.

Which was probably why neither of them exactly knew where to begin.

"Okay, yeah, so didn't expect that," Shego muttered, panting as she ran. "Although I suppose I really should've. All that Lipsky food must've made me soft," she added under her breath, glancing back at the shell-shocked Drakken, whom she was dragging along by his arm down an alley.

He'd suffered the brunt of the flash bulbs going off straight in their faces, and seemed almost half-blind as he stumbled off after her.

They'd been hoping to enjoy a peaceful evening after escaping from their relatives, but they'd barely had time to buy themselves something to drink when a mob of reporters had cornered them about five minutes after they'd landed in Caracas.

Shego still didn't know which was the worst alternative— their relatives or the press.

"Damn paparazzi," Drakken hissed, trying to rub some sight back into his eyes with one hand.

"I think that was just the regular press, Doc," Shego told him, snorting.

Drakken almost barreled into Shego when she came to an abrupt stop, then, quickly turning around and dragging him down yet another alley.

"What now?" Drakken complained, spots dancing in front of his eyes.

"Oh, nothing, just that we almost crashed right into another group of reporters looking for Kim Possible," Shego muttered.

Drakken made a sound of annoyed surprise. "And how do you know they were looking for—"

"I dunno— could've been the way they were following her and her boyfriend Blondie down the street," she shot back sardonically.

"Well, what in the world are they doing here?"

Shego shrugged. "Summer vacation? Making the world safe for puppies and Christmas? The Kim Possible I'm So Darn Tootin' Fabulous World Tour? Who cares?"

"The girl does have the most vexing tendency to show up where you least expect her, so of course she would show up now," Drakken sneered.

There was a loud yelp as Shego snatched a pair of sunglasses right off of an innocent bystander's face as they hurried past.

Shoving the sunglasses onto her nose, she ducked into a nearby park, pulling Drakken down onto a park bench in a more secluded area, thick with hedges and tree branches.

Drakken shot her a sour look. "Couldn't you have gotten me a pair, too?"

"Couldn't you have gotten your own pair?" Shego replied reasonably, taking a sip of the strawberry Smoothie she'd somehow managed to hold on to during their mad dash for cover. The fact that Drakken had lost his own, which had been a lovely mango and banana flavor— and overpriced, in his opinion— didn't exactly serve to brighten his mood.

"You just want me to go blind as a bat again so you can laugh about it, don't you?" He countered irrationally, still annoyed over his swimming eyesight, even though it had already returned to normal.

Shego took another calm sip of strawberry goodness, deciding not to get provoked by his blatant sulking. "Right, 'cause dragging you around like a sack of potatoes? Time of my life."

"Well, then maybe you should try getting blinded and see how you—"

"Ssshh, Doc," Shego whispered suddenly, putting a hand on his arm in warning. "Look who it is."

Peering in the direction Shego was indicating, Drakken released an offended noise when he caught sight of Kim Possible and her sidekick through a tiny hole in the hedge. "What the— is she stalking us now?"

"Sshhh!" Shego hissed, ducking her head and pulling Drakken with her to crouch behind the bench, pushing his head down. "Do you wanna deal with her right now? 'Cause I really don't!"

"Fine, whatever," Drakken grumbled, settling down. Team Possible might attract the press again, and were enough of a pest on their own, anyway, so it'd probably be wise to keep a low profile.

Frowning, Shego wondered what the teen brats talked about on their days off, anyway— but she'd bet her next vacation time that it couldn't be all that interesting, in this or any other alternative universe. Still…it wasn't as if they had anything better to do while waiting for the coast to clear.

Pushing Shego's hand away from his head, Drakken sat up on his knees, trying to peer through the small hole in the hedge at the two teens. Shego allowed herself to sit up straighter, too, growing curious despite herself.

Drakken caught sight of the blonde boy, what's-his-face, leaning back and exhaling loudly with relief. "Wow, so not used to being chased by reporters, KP— except maybe the time I lost my pants during that mission in Times Square."

Drakken squelched a snort; Where in The World Hasn't The Buffoon Lost His Pants? should've been a computer game by now.

The cheerleader hugged the buffoon's arm and giggled like…well, like a teenage girl. "Well, get used to it, BF! You were so the awesome!"

"Really?"

Drakken rolled his eyes at the downright goofy way in which the silly boy blushed and grinned. The exasperated little noise coming from Shego told him she felt much the same way about the show.

Kim Possible was nodding now, her voice going all tender and squishy and proud. "Uh huh, you really pulled through when I needed you, Ron, and I'm totally jeallin' over the rockin' monkey powers! I mean—"

"You don't need monkey powers, KP, you're already the greatest," Ron said softly.

Possible slapped his shoulder playfully, grinning in a semi-embarrassed kind of way. "Aww, Ron!"

Shego gagged. "Yeesh…!"

Now the boy's voice put on a tone he probably thought of as suave. "How about a little post-Grad snuggle with your favorite hero?"

Possible giggled a bit again, sounding pleased. "Wouldn't say no."

There were the soft but unmistakable sounds of lips smacking together.

Drakken pulled a face, looking queasy. "I think it's high time we got out of here," he decided, getting up from behind the park bench.

When Kim Possible spoke next, however, it caused him to sit back down out of sheer surprise.

"You know, Ron, I think there's something going on between Drakken and Shego..."

They saw the boy turn his head to stare at Possible. "What? Eww! You're kidding?"

The red head of hair gave a shake. "Nope. You weren't there just then, but you know— on the alien ship?"

"…yeah?" The blond sidekick asked with evident reluctance, as if he didn't really want to know.

Possible cleared her throat. "Well, Shego more or less admitted to totally jeallin' over Warmonga when she was working with Drakken."

"Wait, Shego said that?" Now the boy was staring again.

Drakken was staring, too; straight ahead, not daring to look at Shego, whom he'd felt and heard, rather than seen, stiffen with shock beside him.

Possible shrugged. "Not in so many words, but she's, like, so obviously in denial."

What's-his-face made a small, incredulous sound. "Too weird."

Kim Possible chuckled. "Tell me about it. I mean, I should've seen it coming."

Her boyfriend scratched his chin in thought. "Now that you mention it, they totally spend way too much time together..."

"I know!" Kim shook her head, sounding as amazed as the boy now. "I just never thought about it before."

"Yeah, who'd wanna?" The boy managed to put what Drakken felt was an utterly unwarranted amount of what the teens referred to as grossed-out into a single sentence. It made him grit his teeth.

"No, Ron, seriously—" Possible was saying now, frowning. "They live together and everything, don't they? Looks like it, anyway."

The boy grimaced, apparently not quite ready to accept this new piece of teen gossip. "Well, it's not like me living with Mr. Smarty or anything— I mean, it's the sidekick thing, they sorta have to stay at the secret base— The Fearless Ferret lived with his sidekick Sparrow, right? Before they had that big falling out and he switched to his new sidekick, Wonder Weasel, I mean," he added solemnly.

Kim smirked. "Well, you know what they say about The Fearless Ferret and Sparrow..."

Oh, great, Drakken thought vaguely, as he tried not to notice the sudden and very familiar sort of burning smell coming from beside him, when and how did my life become something that bratty teens sit around comparing to silly trash TV plots?

Ron rolled his eyes. "Oh, not you, too! I've already had this conversation, like, a million times with your Cousin Larry! I keep telling him everybody knows the Fearless Ferret is in love with the morally ambiguous Leopard Lady! I keep telling him, but he insists that—"

Kim interrupted him with the snort of laughter she was trying to squelch behind her hand.

Ron pouted, scowling. "Larry put you up to this, didn't he?"

Kim laughed. "Sorry."

"Buy me a naco, and we'll call it even."

The two teens took off after that, chattering on about whatever; Drakken couldn't care less. He had other things to worry about.

Cautiously, he turned his head a little so he could look at Shego out of the corner of his eye, but could only catch sight of her green-clad shoulder and the dark waves of her hair. When he finally got so curious— or nervous— that he had to look at her properly to gauge her reaction, she was already getting up from the park bench, her movements a bit stiff and unnatural as she dumped the rest of her Smoothie in a garbage can and just kept walking.

Only hanging back for a beat or two, he quickly snapped out of his consternation and hurried after her, falling into step beside her.

He couldn't see her eyes behind the sunglasses as they snuck back to the hover car, and he didn't like it one bit.

As the silent trip began, it appeared she was setting the course for the jungle lair, and if she'd rather spend more time with their annoying relatives than speak to him…then it had to be bad.

The pair of sooty hand prints she'd left behind on the park bench weren't exactly reassuring, either.

Acceptance of Facts, Friendship, Part VI and Intimacy, Part X

Home, what a good idea, Shego thought. There would be lots of people there. There was just no way that Dr. D could talk to her about…those things if she surrounded herself with all her brothers and his mother and his cousin and Lucre. No way. He wouldn't dare. And then later, before her family left, she could just slip out the back and be gone before he could—

Or at least for just a little while, until she could figure things out.

The silent emptiness of the lab/living room greeted them as they walked through the door, and she didn't know which silence was more awkward; this one or the one that had pressed down on them on the ride home.

The skin on her back shivering and her palms itching, she got the ominous feeling that the rest of the lair was just as deserted.

A groan of a breath caught in her throat when she entered the kitchen and found the note they'd tacked on the fridge.

It was so typical— here she'd done nothing but wish they'd leave, but when she actually wanted her family there, then of course they took off!

Drew and Shego,

We've had a nice time, but we feel we've outworn our welcome.

We're sure you would like to be alone and relax for a while after

everything that's happened. Good luck, you two!

Best wishes,

Your family

Shego had the distinct feeling it was Mama Lipsky who'd written it.

She growled; she should've known that weasel Eddie wouldn't be able to keep their so-called 'secret'. She rubbed her face, trying to keep from screaming. Great! Now her whole family thought that Dr. D and she were—

Drakken appeared in the kitchen door, then, looking apprehensive and nervous, yet curious. Suppressing the urge to groan over the uncomfortable atmosphere, she strode up to him, stuffed the note into his hand and breezed past him. "I'm gonna go watch TV," she muttered, so he wouldn't get the impression that she was avoiding him on purpose.

There was nothing to avoid. Nothing.

As she sat down on the couch, she felt as if every single tiny hair on her body was standing on end. Glancing towards the door, she hoped that Drakken would decide to make an early night of it. She wasn't sure she could stand to play yet another round of Let's Get Awkweird On The Couch. Not tonight. Maybe never.

The news blaring on the TV helped a little, but hardly enough. Tense, she waited for him to show up, but when two minutes passed and he was still out of sight, she let herself exhale, relax and pay attention to the news.

What she saw next defied even her own desperate desires to avoid awkward situations, however.

There was just no way this moment couldn't be shared. Not after all these years.

"DR. D!" She bellowed, her eyes gleaming with disbelieving, wicked delight. "DR. D! GET YOUR BIG, BLUE BUTT IN HERE RIGHT NOW!"

When Drakken entered the room, it sounded like a tiny stampede of elephants; she could tell she'd really startled him.

"What? What?" He came to a screeching halt, looking wild-eyed about the room. "Is there a fire?"

Shego laughed, pointing at the screen. "Just look!"

Squinting, Drakken walked towards the TV, stopping next to the couch where Shego was sitting.

There was a moment of revered silence.

"Shego," Drakken started slowly, "do you see what I see?"

Shego grinned, picking up the remote control to turn the volume up. "Sure do, Dr. D."

Onscreen, there was an ongoing report on the damages done to Middleton during the alien invasion…and the reporter was currently standing in front of the blackened, smouldering remains of what the caption proclaimed to be Kim Possible's house.

Stunned, Drakken turned to Shego, and their eyes locked fully for the first time in over two hours. Drakken felt a brief shot of anxiety, but the news was just too much, and he let out a strange sound that sounded like a cross between a cough and a laugh.

It wasn't quite clear whether it was despite the tension or because of it, but whichever it was, they both broke down into loud fits of laughter.

Drakken could hardly breathe. "I can't believe— I can't believe— after all they did to our lairs- MWAHAHAHAH!"

"Now that's karma in a-action…huh, Doc?" Shego managed to gasp in between the laughter.

"Yes!" Drakken was laughing so hard now that tears were leaking from his eyes, and he had to lean on the back of the couch. "Oh, how— how perfectly fitting!"

"Hah! I wish I could just see the look on Kimmie's face when she finds out!" Shego whooped wickedly, slapping Drakken on the arm with glee.

Drakken nodded, wheezing for air. "Oh, yes, I wish we could see—"

"—and now that Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable have disappeared into the sunset together, so to speak, the next question on everybody's minds is— what's happening between the other two saviors of the world?"

Drakken and Shego froze, their laughter ending abruptly as they turned back to the screen, where an African-American, impeccably dressed talk show host was appealing conspiratorially to her audience, an eager glint in her eyes and a perky smile on her face. "Originally an infamous villain duo regularly pitted against teen heroine Kim Possible, everybody's wondering what they're up to now that they've suddenly helped their nemesis save the world— and whether there's also a 'blossoming' romance between the two!"

Here, the show briefly cut to a shot of Drakken's blooming vines wrapping them together at the UN, completing the tacky pun.

Drakken cringed. Shego went pale.

"When asked about it, teen heroine Kim Possible said, and I quote, 'They're, like, totally in denial about it!'" The talk show host went on, chuckling. "This and more will be the topic of our next show— so be sure to watch Paula Pandowdy at seven thirty pm tomorrow!"

Shego could feel her teeth grinding together. Of course they had to ask the cheerleader, too!

Drakken saw her tense up again, her shoulders rising almost imperceptibly, and it caused his own shoulders to slump. He'd thought perhaps they'd found the perfect ice breaker, something to put things back to normal, but now she looked as clammed up as ever.

Shego stared straight ahead, glaring daggers at the TV. Okay, this was getting to be too much— she was getting this whole 'potential relationship' thing shoved down her throat by everyone and their uncle—

Okay, yeah, so she'd frickin' hugged him like it was going outta style just a few hours ago, but this— this!

This was too much to deal with!

She wasn't dumb— she'd known something might happen eventually, but when or if it did, she'd wanted to be cool about it, she'd wanted to be in control of the situation— not like this! Not like this— not at a disadvantage! Dammit, she was going to strangle Kimmie and her dopey boyfriend! And that talk show host!

She'd wanted to do this at her own pace…!

Clearing his throat softly, Drakken took a few steps around the couch, towards her. "Um…Shego?"

She considered not answering him at all, but if she didn't respond, he might try touching her to get her attention, and even a hand on her shoulder seemed like too much at this point, too raw. "Yeah, what?" She spat. The obnoxious dog food commercial jingle now playing on the TV was putting her even more on edge, but silence would probably only be worse, so she didn't turn it off.

He leaned closer, frowning. "Shego, what's going on?"

She refused to look at him. "Nothing."

A note of irritation crept into his voice. "Nothing?"

"Nothing," she repeated, with a deceptive sort of calm that transformed his irritation into worry.

Normally, Drakken would've been very annoyed indeed at her evasiveness, certain she was only doing it to spite him, but now…this was different. There was something about the expression on her face, half turned away from him, and her stiff posture, the hunched-up shoulders, the whitening knuckles…

"Shego?" He tried again, doubtfully. For a second, he considered touching her, to break what felt like some sort of invisible force field between them, but while they'd already embraced mere hours ago today, he now had the sinking feeling that if he even tried something as simple as putting his hand on her arm, he just might get slapped.

Slowly, she got up, turning away from him fully. Her steps were quick as she walked away, though. "I'm gonna go out for a while," she threw over her shoulder at him, tone indecipherable.

"Shego!" He called after her, aggravated and plaintive.

"I'm just going out for some air, okay? I'll be back later!" She replied like a whip crack, and while her explanation was fine enough, something in her voice must've made him panic just a bit, because before he knew it, he was dragged forward into a tangled mess of limbs and vines as his plant reached out and grabbed Shego, holding her back and pulling him towards her.

He heard her gasp in shock, and felt her freeze up, but before he'd even had time to start thinking about how to fix this, he heard her growl.

"That's it!" She exclaimed, her plasma igniting and flaring up before she made short work of Drakken's plant, which retreated in fear. "First Kimmie, then Warmonga, then the press, then your mom, then your Cousin, then my brothers, then the press again, then frickin' Kimmie and Ronnie— and now your stupid plant, too? Maybe it's not that easy, okay? Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

"But Shego, I didn't mean to— what's wrong? Why are you leaving? Do you have to leave right now? What's going on?" He could hear himself babbling, could hear himself getting increasingly demanding, and somewhere at the back of his mind, he knew he was pushing her too far, but it was as if he just couldn't help himself. "Why are you acting like this? Was it something I said? Because I certainly can't remember saying anything wrong—"

Almost dizzy at the sheer amount of prodding questions, which he wasn't even letting her begin to answer before he started asking her new ones, Shego clutched her head, groaning. "Just…just back off, Dr. D! I need some space!"

His face fell, and he pouted. "But Shego— I thought—"

"Oh, shut up!" She snarled. "Stop whining! Do you have any idea how annoying that is? You sound like a kid! I'm sick of it! Gah!" She exclaimed, slamming the door with a loud bang.

She didn't look back to see if he was following her, hoping he wasn't as she made a quick detour to pack a bag before she made a beeline for the hover car and took off.

The wind in her hair felt great, but her stomach was in knots.

Exhausted, she just wanted to slump across the first and best bed she saw, but she still had a long way to go. She didn't particularly want to revisit the apartment near their old, demolished lair in Aruba, which was a virtual snake pit of bad memories, but it was the closest available hideout. The only other two alternatives were either going to a hotel and probably getting stalked by reporters or sleeping in the jungle and getting ants in her pants and reptiles in her hair.

Resigned to her fate, she headed for that prickly piece of the past.

"Oh, man, I so need a nap…"

TBC.

Author's note: Yep, I knew I said there'd only be one more chapter, but as usual, it turned out to be so long I had to split it in two. :P So there's still one more to go, kids.

EDIT (10.08.2009): I'd completely forgotten about Fearless Ferret's actual sidekick on KP, Wonder Weasel. Nueva Paz reminded me of this, so I added another sentence: Before they had that big falling out and he switched to his new sidekick, Wonder Weasel, I mean," he added solemnly. Thanks, Paz. :)

Many thanks to Charlotte C, who's still my fabulous beta. I look forward to sending you the final chapter one of these days. She also suggested a sentence similar to this, which is a slight rewrite of her suggestion: She'd thought Hego had the market cornered on being controlling, pushy and overbearing, but he was an amateur compared to Mama Lipsky. Thanks, Char. :)

Boca: I dunno— that's to where Fran's mom in The Nanny was always telling her daughter she wanted to move. XD It seemed to me like the kinda place Drakken's mom would wanna move to, as well, since she kinda reminds me of Fran's mother.

Hypochondriac whining: Frugal Lucre's voice actor, Richard Kind, played a big hypochondriac on Scrubs, so I figured…hey.

Caracas and Aruba: Thanks to Charlotte C for helping me figure out where to place these events.

"Making the world safe for puppies and Christmas": Shamelessly stolen from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, where it was spoken by Spike in the season four episode Doomed.

Where in The World Hasn't The Buffoon Lost His Pants?: Where in The World is Carmen San Diego? Where, indeed.

Sparrow: No, he wasn't on KP. I just made it up. Neither was Leopard Lady; not to be confused with Kim's 'Sheela of The Leopard People' costume in Bad Boy.

Thanks to CJS, who suggested D/S overhearing K/R in a park. I had originally set the scene in a coffee shop, and just couldn't make it work. Damn, that scene with Kim and Ron is so old. Heh, I figured they had to show up at some point during this never ending story, huh?

Kim's house getting destroyed: After what Kim did to their lairs over the course of the show, you can't tell me this isn't how the villains would've reacted when they heard the news. Just in case you're wondering, though— no, I didn't laugh when her house was destroyed. In fact, I don't really remember how I reacted, if at all. Maybe massive property damage wasn't such a big surprise at that point in the episode. :P

PS: Did another small rewrite of chapter three. Yeah, I know— annoying, but I still wasn't happy with it.

I also did a tiny rewrite of the previous chapter (19: FIFTEEN) and chapter six (the Post-Truth Hurts one; 6: FIVE). The author's note in each chapter describes what has been changed, in case you're wondering.