(disclaimed)

His outburst

by Alice in June

Dr. Percival 'Perry' Cox was not a nice person, as anyone in Sacred Heart would tell you. He was unpleasant and that was something he prided himself over because he had quite the reputation as the hospital badass. He was the kind of person who frequently blew up in your face and humiliated you and took his anger out on you because you had the bad fortune of crossing his path. It had affected his personal and professional life, thank you very much.

Being married hadn't changed him, being divorced hadn't changed him, getting back together with his ex-wife hadn't changed him and while having his son had made him calm for sometime, it didn't last. Just ask his interns.

His mutual but somewhat cordial separation from his partner, hellcat aka Jordan Sullivan, fortunately, hadn't made him any worse.

However, when he started 'dating' his former intern one, Dr. 'JD' Dorian against his better judgment, some people had expected him to turn worse.

After all it was that nice, kooky, optimistic guy with that old, negative, cynical bastard. Brr.

There were moments when they would each have their little arguments, there were times when they would vent to other people (fortunately JD hadn't changed for the worse) about each other's bad habits (why the hell did Newbie look him like that in front of the damn patient and why the hell couldn't JD put on some Dido songs while he was in the house with Perry?) and many many issues.

But somehow, by the grace of a god whose existence JD doubted while Cox denied, they had managed to be together for a year and half.

Heck, one nurse who was around JD and Jordan (who was holding Jack in her arms) recently heard them talking. They were civil and were even making a joke about Dr. Cox.

Of course, as anyone who has studied Physics or lived life knows that, Murphy's Law applies to all things. If something seems as if it's going to screw up, it is in fact going to screw up.

It started like this.

JD had a new intern Tom Jackson (whose name for some reason reminded them both of that famous John and June Cash duet) who was well ... a kind of jock. He was a fan of sports, he was smooth with the ladies and quite popular. Granted he wasn't a genius, he was still pretty popular.

He claimed to have an uncle in Hollywood. JD was delighted. Tom took a liking to JD (Cox would claim that the boy was a suck up) and they would hang out now and then when everyone would go out for drinks.

JD told Tom about his 'Dr. Acula' screenplay and Sammy said that he'd talk to his uncle (who Perry claimed actually waited on B-grade film actors) and he would seriously see what he could do.

Now, JD was a practical person no matter what people said but despite Perry Cox's request that he curb his enthusiasm, the younger doctor was overjoyed.

('But hypothetically, imagine, Dr. Acula on screen in a movie theater!'

'I am imagining it in a movie theater. And God, it's burning hot in the theater, and it turns out that Bobbles has the lead part. And oh oh no, it's hell!)

Perry Cox didn't really care about Tom. Or so he had said to JD sooo many times.

However, one fine day, Perry found Tom with a few of his friends and they were making some snide remarks about JD, and God help him, he hurled insults at them and threatened them with death. It was what he knew best. They all walked away and one of them murmured that no one could get any peace even when they weren't on-call.

A day after this incident, Tom stopped being friendly with JD. He wouldn't speak to his attending unless it was absolutely necessary.

It puzzled JD and hurt him. He once complained about it. Wondered why Tom would suddenly stop being so nice (Perry told him that it was because he finally realized that JD wasn't a girl who would leave older stud of a boyfriend for the flavor of the month).

('I don't get it, was it something I did? I know I'm touchy feely and all but he never seemed to mind.'

Perry was walking away from him then, feeling the guilt weigh in on him.

He kept hearing JD no matter how far away he moved.

'There goes Dr. Acula'.)

Perry insulted the boy in front of JD now and then and he wouldn't get a reaction.

And then he started feeling more guilty. JD talked about how one day, Sammy took a whole minute to answer a question that JD had asked him in front of a patient. This had in fact made the patient a lot more wary about whatever treatment JD was suggesting.

And this other day, he heard from Turk about an intern giving JD some attitude.

The worst part was that he even felt guilty about the 'Dr. Acula' screenplay.

The guilt would eat him up, and it would make him argue with JD more (it usually led to a hot quickie). And then he took a decision and he talked to Tom. He swallowed a lot of pride that day.

("Jackson!" Perry sharply whistled.

Tom looked at him, his fear visible. It was a miracle that he hadn't run away screaming because Dr. Cox was sitting at the other end of the couch.

"Yes, sir?"

"Jackson, I do not like talking about my personal life, but I can see how it concerns you."

Tom was about to open his mouth when Perry whistled.

"Listen, stop giving Giselle crap because I yelled at you. And no I'm not saying this because of whatever relationship I have, I am saying this because he is your attending and you do not give your attending crap because of something his much better half did."

The television continued to play in the background.

"I probably shouldn't have yelled at you and your friends but my God, an ego like that won't get you anywhere in life, especially your professional life. Take it from someone who tells it like it is."

"I understand."

"And Jackson?"

"Yes, Dr. Cox?"

"If you pray, you better hope to your God, that no one hears about this.")

And while the guilt subsided a lot, there was something still bothering him.

Perry Cox was well acquainted with Murphy's Law and it occurred to him that despite his numerous threats, JD may come to know of what he did and be disappointed.

Or maybe he was being paranoid. God forbid, JD influence him positively so that he might wake up now and then, not feeling the urge to not wake up at all. But instead JD's active imagination had rubbed off on him. It was all his fault.

After a lot of thought and a few conversations with Jack, Cox thought that while hiding the incident from JD may be the smart thing, it wouldn't be the stupidest thing to confess.

And Dr. Perry Cox tends to do things that aren't exactly deemed to be smart.

JD mentioned that evening during dinner about how he always felt he could trust and rely on Perry (Perry didn't retort, in case you were wondering).

He knew the incident happened a month ago, and maybe, maybe, he should trust JD with this. In retrospect it was nothing but maybe ... maybe if this went right, JD would somehow appreciate his honesty.

“Newbie?” He asked, his voice tense. He looked ahead into the darkness as he lay on his side. It was so easy not to turn around and see Newbie.

He knew he shouldn't be doing this. It was stupid and JD had a twenty-hour shift tomorrow.

“Yeah.”

“Nothing.” He felt like such a coward but the words just couldn't seem to reach his lips.

“Alice?” He asked, his teeth clenching after he spoke.

“Mm hmm?”

“I need to talk to you about something important, it's been on my mind recently and it has something to with my feelings ...”

JD turned around, as he tried to straighten his visage despite his grogginess.

“It was the 'feelings' thing, huh? Boy, you're such a worrisome woman. Now, don't get me wrong, I like that you are a sensitive, open-minded ...”

“Oh, God, you're an ass,” JD rolled back to his side of the bed and turned away from Perry.

He really was such a pansy.

He turned around to see the back of JD's head and took a deep breath.

“Clara?”

“Not now, torment me in the morning. I'll have witty repartees by then and my voice will be a pitch higher.”

“It's serious.”

JD made a muffled groan.

“It's serious. I swear.”

The younger man turned around to look at him. He was worried and he supposed that showed because JD's face seemed to mirror that same worry.

“What's wrong?”

Oh well, here's to nothing.

“You know that intern of yours, Tom?”

Murphy's Law. Yeesh. Well if this thing didn't work out, he would have still have his badass reputation and his anger in the morning.

“Yeah.”

“And how you were worried about why he was being so cold?”

“Oh you know I'm over that. I wouldn't care if he went to Jackson.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Perry screwed up his face. “Well, it was because ...”

There was a pause.

“It was because of me.”

JD was surprised now but he didn't say anything.

“I ... see I caught Jackson in the hallways with some of his buddies and he was making fun of you.”

JD said nothing but he watched Perry with the utmost concentration.

“He was talking about how ridiculous you were with your daydreaming and how much of a pushover you could be outside work. And he was making fun of 'Dr. Acula'.”

“You didn't join him?”

“Now, don't get me wrong, Jane, sometimes I think 'D' in JD is for doormat and 'Dr Acula' may actually be the worst piece of crap to have ever been written. Believe you me, when I tell you that, porn movies have better dialogue and slasher flicks like 'I know what horrible thing I did one summer by being born' have better plots but as sorry as it is, you wrote it and for reasons beyond me, you take pride in it.”

He paused again, and JD said nothing. His face was blank.

“So, when I saw him with his buddies in the hallway, I was pissed off because ... Clarice keeps thinking that nice boys who take her out to movies and laugh at her jokes don't have ulterior motives. So, I told off him and his friends.”

He was silent, waiting for some kind of reaction from JD.

“So, what did you say to him?”

“I told him that I honestly hoped to God that he and his cronies had some hard sense knocked into their heads because what the hell were they thinking crowding the hallways like schoolgirls who had new gossip because despite whatever impression the staff of Sacred Heart gave you, the place is a hospital. And I told Tom to kindly piss off because to make fun of an attending in front of everyone is like signing a death certificate. And he was damn lucky that affable Annie was his attending because any other attending would have whacked him across the chart and reminded him that this wasn't high school anymore. They would be lucky to be half a good a doctor as Annabelle anyway. After that, I told him and his friends to get back to work, and if they shared this experience with anyone, there would be hell to pay.”

JD just stared at him.

Perry sighed.

“In those exact same words.”

“Oh.” His voice small and Perry could tell that he was a little hurt.

“Wait, there's more.” He said, as felt his face contort.

“Oh,” JD said as a certain look passed over his face. It was an interesting cross between annoyance and horror. While JD wasn't really terrified of Perry anymore, there were moments before Perry would get mad and that look would cross over JD's face.

“It doesn't get any worse,” Perry reassured. “Actually, I went and kind of apologized to him after I heard that he stopped taking you out to dinner. I ... know that you liked Tom and you wanted Dr. Acula - oh, perish the thought.”

He cleared his throat.

“I'm sorry.”

JD stared at him for a while.

It was amazing, Perry thought. Here he was dying of the suspense, just wanting to see a reaction. Any reaction at all, hell even if the boy started having delusions and mumbling something ridiculous, he would be soho relieved.

And then JD laughed.

Perry took that back, this was definitely the one reaction he didn't want to see, and he really hated that glazed look that came over JD's face when he mentioned women and donuts in the same sentence.

He tried to figure out what happened and when JD wiped a tear away from the corner of his eye, Perry spoke up.

“Wa-a-hut just happened here?” he demanded as he tried to wade through the confusion in his mind.

JD chuckled.

“You thought you dashed my only hope of making 'Dr Acula' into a real movie because you were mean to Tommy boy?”

“Well, I did not say anything of that sort ...”

JD snorted.

“You know what Tom's uncle does?”

“Prostitutes to the stars?”

“Well he's in the business of catering food to the stars on set. You had a pretty good guess. He apparently really hates his job too. Thinks the film industry is shitty and what not.”

“So, I basically went crazy over nothing and apologized to stupid Tom over some stupid ...”

“Hey,” JD pouted. “You know I still have a right to be mad, Tom's apparent indifference bothers me sometimes when we're around a patient. And what if Kelso made comment about what you did in front of you at the worst time possible? Or what if, Tom or one of his friends gave me crap about how he was afraid that if he disagreed with me about what medicine we should treat a patient with, because my boyfriend might appear out of nowhere to wring his neck?”

Perry amazed himself at how JD amazed him. He was so angry just a second ago and the anger was replaced by regret.

“I apologized, didn't I?”

“I know.”

“So?” Perry looked, hopeful.

“It's okay.” JD looked away from his face. “Go to sleep.”

“Hey, Pere,” the younger man called.

Perry felt the bed move as JD shifted to face him.

“I'm proud of you.”

He observed his boyfriend with his left eyebrow raised.

“It's very thoughtful of you, threatening Tom because of me. I just ... it means a lot to me that you would swallow your pride for ...” JD looked into the distance.

Oh, here we go again, the older man thought. He should be too old to be this annoyed over his stupid antics in the middle of the night.

“I wonder how many doctors have died of asphyxiation in Sacred Heart,” JD remarked absently but quietly. “Thank you.”

He smiled a little.

As JD was about to turn away, Perry spoke up.

“So if I did want to continue this pillow talk ...”

JD was facing him once again.

“Psych! Newbie you really are ...”

“Shut up.” JD deadpanned and turned away. “Good night, Perry.”

The room was silent, now.

Perry spoke up after what seemed to him like an eternity.

This may have actually been one of the few times when letting out his anger actually did him good.

“Janice?”

JD murmured.

“Of all the women I have been with, you may have actually been the one to handle my crazy the best.”

JD didn't say anything and Perry turned away from his sleeping partner.

But in the darkness of the warm night, Perry could almost swear that he heard that something like, “Fanks”.

He's pretty sure that's what it sounded like.

AN: In case you were wondering, the fantasy that JD had was something like, JD is being comforted by his friends and Dr. Cox's corpse is being taken away. Meanwhile a nurse is talking to the Janitor and telling him that Cox died of asphyxiation as he tried swallowing his enormous pride.