Chapter Four rating -- K +

CHAPTER FOUR

THE PARK

Jeremy walked home slowly as his mind was filled with what Mich

Jeremy walked home slowly as his mind was filled with what Michael Holden had told him. He knew that he was in a boat load of shit when his father returned from the war. He very well knew that his father would be extremely angry with him; and extremely hurt over what Jeremy did to Denise. But there was no way to sugar coat it; Jeremy had to be the man he was opposed to be come and face up to his terrible mistake. But first he had to find a way to apologize to his mother and prove to her that he would never hurt her again.

Jeremy's head lifted and his steps slowed as he suddenly heard his mother laughing, he hadn’t heard her genuine laugh in months. Not since he started hurting her. He stopped his feet from moving from the spot and he turned around slowly and just watched as his mother was chasing young T.J. and Fin Le Blanc around the grass. His eyes lit up as he watched his mother truly enjoy herself playing with small boys once more. He remembered countless times in his childhood when his mother had chased him around the parks of the posts that the Sherwood family had been assigned too; always it seemed whenever his father was too busy with his assignments to spend any time with his family; which quite frankly was too many to count.

He tucked his hands in his back pockets of his tan khakis as he enjoyed watching his mother quite enjoy herself. He laughed gently as T.J. tagged her making her it. He wanted to shout out encouragements to his mother so she knew that he was cheering her on catching one of the young boys to make him it; but he remembered himself just in time and he just whispered “Go on mom you can do it, you can catch those little pups.” When she managed to tag Fin he laughed in delight.

Fin saw Jeremy standing on the side lines and he knew that the older boy was just waited to be tagged so he could join in on the game, so Fin did what he knew he had to do and he ran full speed towards Jeremy and put his right hand out and tagged Jeremy. “You’re it, you’re it.” He turned and started racing back to his brother and Mrs. Sherwood. “Can’t catch me,” He laughed as he looked back over his shoulder at Jeremy who was giving chase towards him.

“Hey mom.” Jeremy said with a smile as he passed her in his chase of young Fin. “Be back in a sec.” But he wasn’t counting on T.J. to make it impossible for him to tag Fin back. He had Fin at his finger tips when he felt his side being shouldered and he fell to the side and rolled over a few times on the grass ending up with a mouth full of freshly mowed grass. He looked up to see the two Le Blanc boys standing at his side laughing. “Ummmm who’s it again?” Jeremy asked.

“You are.” T.J. Said backing away from the older boy and he put his arm on Fin’s shoulder and made his younger brother to back up along side him. He was no fool; he knew the moment Jeremy moved he would tag both him and Fin causing them to be it. Well T.J. would out wit him.

Jeremy slowly sat up so he was on his hands and knees and he just watched as the two younger boys back away until they had backed themselves in front of his mother; he slowly moved forward at a crawl and grinned as his mother quickly moved the boys behind her back and with a raised look of her eye brows saying with her eyes, “You can’t have ‘em, you have to go through me first,” Jeremy slowly stood to his feet and walked over to his mother and raised his hands high. “I the shepherd hereby turn myself over to the Queen of tag and beg for her just and merciful mercy.” He lowered his arms and knelt on his knees and bowed his head in front of his mother.

Denise laid her hands onto of her son’s hand and said. “I accept the shepherd in his defeat and grant him to be my loyal servant for the rest of his life time.” She softly said with tears in her eyes. She looked deep into her son’s eyes as he lifted his face to look up into her eyes.

“Mrs. Sherwood that’s not how you end the game of “tag”.” Fin said with confusion in his face as he moved around Denise’s back and looked first at Jeremy than at her and than over at T.J.

“That’s how we end the game.” Denise said finally breaking eye contact with her son so she could look down at Fin. “When Jeremy was just a small boy; smaller than you are now Fin; we used to play tag. Well Jeremy always loved the story about the shepherd in the Bible so he always was the shepherd when he turned himself over to me.”

Jeremy stood to his feet. “My mother is the Queen of my world and every world that I can think off; so it was only fitting to call her Queen.” He continued on the explanation to young Fin and T.J.

“Cool.” T.J. said with a laugh. “So do you two want to play another round?”

Jeremy could tell how tired his mother truly was. He offered his arm for her to take and was relieved that she took it. He placed his free hand over hers and shook his head. “Not this time lads; but you can bet that my mother and I will be playing tag with you again before school begins again.” He said with a smile. He walked along side his mother to where Claudia Joy, Pamela and Roxie had been standing watching the game of tag.

“Well that sure looked like a lot of hard and hot work.” Pamela said with a laugh as the group rejoined them.

“I wanted to play also.” Luke said wrapping his arms around his chest and jetted his chin out.

“Hush now Lu.” Katie said rapping her brother’s arm gently. “You know that T.J. and Fin just wanted to play especially with Mrs. Sherwood. We can play another time.”

“But it ain’t fair.” Luke shook his head.

Pamela put her hand on her son’s right shoulder and looked down at her son with a no non sense frown on her face. “We’ll talk about this later young man.” Her eyes spoke volumes.

Luke Moran just sighed and rolled his eyes.

“So did you and Mrs. Holden have a good talk?” Jeremy softly said in his mother’s ear as the group was talking among themselves. “Actually when did the gang join you two?”

“We had a very nice discussion, Jeremy, and the gang joined us when the time was right.” Denise said turning to face her son head on. “Did you have the talk with Michael?” She held her breath as she waited to see her son’s reaction and hear his answer.

Jeremy sighed deeply and not realizing that his hand gripped his mother’s arm almost in a deaf gripe. “Colonel Holden told me to be the man and tell dad.” He said softly as he felt hot tears at the corner of his eyes.

“Are you surprised?” Denise asked as she fought the fear in her heart over how Jeremy was holding onto her arm, but she knew that this death grip of his wasn’t the same as when he was hurting her in his anger and fear, no this death grip was his fear speaking and that he just wanted his mommy to comfort and protect him. She placed her hand over Jeremy’s.

Jeremy realized how tightly his grip on his mother’s arm was and he quickly let her arm go and backed away from her. “I’m sorry mom … I wasn’t thinking. I have to go.” With one last agony look in his mother’s eyes that he couldn’t read correctly; but he thought her read correctly he turned on his heel and walked quickly away with his head down.

Denise watched her son walk away from her with his head down and all she wanted to do was rush after him and gather him into her arms and she could comfort him and love him. His eyes never left her memory and she knew that she would never forget the fear, self loathing and the self hatred she saw in them before he had turned away from her. She raised her right hand and wiped the tear that fell from her right eye and before she could left her left hand to do the same to her left eye she felt a small hand slip into her hand and hold on tightly. She looked down into the upturned compassion filled face of six year old Fin Le Blanc

AT THE SHERWOOD HOME

Jeremy looked up when he heard the front door open and saw his mother walk in. He got to his feet quickly and looked wildly around. He moved forward and than he paused and than he moved back wards and than he stopped. He moved to the right and than changed his mind and moved to the left.

“Sit back down, Jeremy, you don't have to be afraid. I won't bite.” Denise softly said as she watched her son try to escape but not knowing how too.

Jeremy stopped dead in his tracks and stared wide eyed at his mother. “That's not funny.”

“It used to be.” Denise said softly as she moved around to sit down on the couch. She waved her hand to where Jeremy had been sitting. “Sit down. Please.”

Jeremy sat down nervously and stared straight ahead of him.

“Why is this so hard? It used to be so easy between us.” Denise softy sighed. She turned her face so she could face her only son. Her only child. “When have you stopped trusting me to try to at least chase away your fears? When had you grown up to be your own man?”

“I'm not my own man.” Jeremy said in a tight voice as he tried to keep at bay the sobs that were trying to force their way up past the lump in his thoart. “I'm just a scared little boy who wants his mommy but trying to prove that he's able to handle things on his own.”

Denise placed a hand close to her son but not actually touching him. “No one in the entire world need to handle their issues on their own. It's just not possible. Everyone needs someone in their lives. Need it be their mother, father, sibling, friend, lover. That's the way humans are, they need constant contact with another human being.:”

“I don't deserve it.” Jeremy said turning to look at his mother, which he couldn't do because of the tears that were shinning in his eyes. “What I did to you mom was unex...” he couldn't go on because he finally couldn't swallow around the lump in his thoart.

Denise did the only thing that she could she moved over and quickly wrapped her arms around her son's shoulders and pulled him into a tight motherly bear hug. She placed several kisses on his left eye bone. She began to softly hum the lull bye that she sung when he was just a little boy.

Jeremy pulled away and gently moved away from his mother, he stood to his feet and rushed from the house. Denise sadly watched him go and knew that he wasn't ready to accept forgiveness for hurting her.

END CHAPTER FOUR

Author's Note: This has to be the most time consuming chapter I have EVER written in my life. I started it the moment I posted chapter three and meant to post it two weeks after that date. But I have had and still having some major computer issues that I had to put a hold on this chapter. I have finally decided to end it on this note – and I renamed the chapter and changed the direction that I was going to go with it just so I can finally post this chapter. Hopefully the next update won't be too long from this update. If my muse stays with me I should have the update in a few weeks; that is if I can get to a working computer.