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DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT own Bleach or any other anime or anime characters I write about. Of course, I own my OC's. But other than that, I'm own-less. And for this story, I give some inspirational/idea credit to Sabrielle after reading her story Observations.
My promise to return in a year had expired. I had been a monster for three years by then. My heart was as cold as my home was before it had been mutilated and melted during The Clash of Frozen Spirits. Whenever I considered going home, I decided that I didn’t have a home to go to.
I trudged along, living a lost and hideous existence. I decided there was no reason to stay on that damned earth. Armageddon had already happened as far as I was concerned. Home gone. Mother dead. Ryoubashi hated me. I hated life. For a while, I just wanted to see bloodshed, paint the earth red, even though I knew it wasn’t right and it didn’t make me feel any better doing it; I just wanted to know that at least in death there was no difference in how we bled. Hollows. Humans. Arrancar. Animals. Espada. Spirits. We are all red inside. It was comforting, and it was calling.
There is no way I can describe the feeling of emptiness I felt. I had no one, nothing, not even a fake reason, though I searched hard, to keep living.
In my wanderings, I finally found the edge of the world.
Since the end of the world had already come, I figured there had to be an edge to what remained. And here it was. A coastal cliff loomed enticingly at my feet. I remember that there was little wind that day. The clouds in the sky looked like pieces of floating ice, the crash of the sea reminded me of when it hailed for days on end. For the first time in a long time, I felt somewhat at home. It almost made me change my mind.
Almost.
I took a deep breath and took a step forward. Before I felt the sensation of falling though, I felt a tight squeeze around my right leg. It was a little girl. Correction, it was the spirit of a little girl.
“Don’t leave onii-chan! Don’t leave!”
“Sumimasen, demo—”
“He needs you!” My thoughts rushed to Ryou as the little girl cried for me to stay. “I need you!” I backed up a few steps and knelt down and lifted her chin up. I wiped the tears off her face as best I could, though it was hard to concentrate and keep from going straight through her. She was a spirit after all.
“I-I-I c-can’t let you l-leave again.” She grasped at the words while trying to fight back her vaporous tears.
I sighed. I’ve never been around kids much, other than Ryou. “I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’m who you’re talking about. I am an only child.”
“But papa and I need you!” She protested. “Last time you went over the cliff you didn’t come back, not even you’re spirit! Papa needs you! I need you! Please stay onii-chan! Please!”
I didn’t know what to do. Her grip tightened around my leg. My thoughts kept wandering back to Ryou. Her tears fell on my jacket and disappeared. I lifted up her chin again and looked her in the eye. There was something familiar, but even now I don’t know what it was exactly. I asked her name.
“Shia.”
“Hello Shia. You can call me Hyou.”
“So you’re really not onii-chan?” Shia looked like about to cry again.
“I suppose I could be, but I’m a different onii-chan than the one you are looking for.” What? I couldn’t resist those eyes. “I will be you’re onii-chan for now. You said you’re Papa and you need me. What can I do for you before I leave?”
“No! You can’t leave!” Shia paused. “Not like that.”
I was instantly crushed. Here was a stranger, a spirit, a little girl begging me not to kill myself, not to jump off that cliff. “Ok.” I took her hand, which was surprisingly easy, and made a promise with my new nee-chan. “I promise. I won’t leave like that.”
“Kay.” She sniffled. “Let’s go! Papa is waiting!”
We walked hand in hand, my nee-chan pointing out all the little details on our way to her Papa. A grasshopper here, a dandelion there, a blue bird in the tree up ahead. Her ghostly grasp on my hand was sending warmth through my ice-cold veins.
Shia led the way to a small hut at the edge of the forest. For some reason, I hesitated. Shia paused as well, but I think it was out of sheer joy.
“Papa!” Shia raced toward the hut, dragging me along with a force I didn’t expect her to achieve as a spirit, as a middle aged man emerged from the hut. He, too, was a spirit.
“Shia? Eiji? Have you two really come?” His eyes widened with surprise, then he realized I was not his son. “Shia…”
“I’m sorry, sir. My name is Hyourinmaru. I am Shia’s adopted nii-chan. I’m afraid her onii-chan has not returned.”
The man just looked at me, those vaporous tears forming in his eyes. I was about to apologize when he grabbed my shoulders and pulled me into a tight hug of gratitude, something I did not expect nor had I experienced in years. “Thank you Hyourinmaru. Thank you my boy, for bringing my Shia back. I couldn’t move on without her. I just couldn’t. But Shia, she just wouldn’t leave without her brother. I have been chained here and could not leave to look for her. It has been almost ten years since I died, and eight since my children became spirits as well.” He stared intensely into my eyes for a very long time. I had the feeling this Eiji left to join his mother, since she wasn’t here. Turns out I was right. The man knew it. I knew it. But Shia was such a faithful little sister that she didn’t want to leave if she wasn’t sure her brother was safe.
I said my goodbyes and watched the father and daughter embrace. I turned to leave, but before I got more than a foot away, Shia grabbed my right leg again and hugged me. “You promised.” She whispered. The warmth that ran through my veins broke through to my frozen heart and melted it right down to the core. I cried. For the first time in many years, I was human again. “Yes I did. Don’t worry. I will keep my promise.”
I waved goodbye, tears still burning my eyes. The thought of promises, kept and not kept, forced more tears out of me.
I was human again. I was human again.
“Quick question.”
“No question is ever quick with you miniature one.”
“It’s Hitsugaya-taicho! And seriously, how can you insult me when you, the great dragon of disaster, can’t keep your story straight?”
“I feel so loved. You’ve given me a nickname! But so far as my story, I thought I’ve been doing a good job! Geez, no appreciation for talent these days.”
“Then why are you skipping around? You were doing fine, telling everything chronologically. But ever since you added these ‘lesson’ chapters, it’s all screwed up.”
“It’s not chronological anymore. At least you understood that much. These are the lessons I was telling you about before I even started my story! I gave you a summary of my life so you had some background to fill in some of the blanks. If I’d have just started with the lessons, you’re head might have exploded.”
“Indeed. You do give me awful headaches sometimes.”
“Look, these are memories. The mind isn’t perfect, not even yours. Sheesh. I’m giving the stories behind the lessons, hoping you might understand them better. Pardon me if they aren’t in chronological order. If I had a tongue right now, I’d be sticking it out at you.”
“Whatever. Are you gonna continue jumping around like this?”
“Yes.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
“Fine.”
“Good.”
“So, continue.”
“Maybe I will.”
“Good.”
“Fine.” Hyourinmaru paused, making sure Hitsugaya wasn’t going to try and beat him out. “You know, sometimes you do act your age.”
Hitsugaya smirked. “And you never act yours.”
“Is that really the way to talk to your sword? I might decide to not let you pull me out of the sheath next time your in a jam. Then what?”
“I’d come up with something.”
“Sure you say that now. But when you’re put in a situation like that, it usually doesn’t work out very well.”
“And you would know, right?”
“Yes.”
“Of course.”
“Duh, I’m the legendary dragon, remember?”
“Are you stalling?”
“No. I just enjoy teasing you. You’re kind of like the little brothers I always seem to end up with.”
“Huh?”
“Oh, haven’t gotten that far yet. Sorry.”
“What? You’re doing this on purpose.”
“I told you that.”
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