Désolé

p r o l o g u e

I remember everything, the words we spoke on freezing rooftops.

You had a beautiful smile, the way it curled and collapsed on your lips.

When you touched me I shook like a child, but it's too late, and I'm afraid you don't remember.

Don't leave me here with only mirrors watching me.

This house holds nothing but memories, of you and your lovely scent.

I talk to the mirrors, to the stranger that appears.

Our conversations are circles, always one sided, nothing is clear.

Except we keep coming back, to this meaning that I lack.

He says, "The choices were given. Now you must live them, or just not live, but do you want that?"

So I wait for the day, when your dreams will find me, and I'll be waiting by your side.

…...…

San Diego, California. Peter Petrelli

Peter woke from his dream panting. Another restless night passed by him. One of many dreams since the disaster, at his wedding with Candice. Sylar had gotten away from Hiro, and hadn't been seen since. The images of Candice laying at the alter with half her head severed haunted him. He knew he could go back and save her, but he didn't have the courage to do it, he didn't want to face Claire.

He'd taken everything away from her, and turned her into a lost girl. She didn't know it was his fault, and he prayed that she wouldn't remember. He'd only done it so she wouldn't suffer. So she wouldn't remember the sinful love they shared, so she wouldn't remember the kiss she never got.

He stood up shaking his hair, it had grown vastly in the past four months. He'd let it grow for Claire, he remembered how she'd always love his bangs dropping in front of his face. Everything he did was for her now. He'd left New York for her, so she wouldn't find him. The reason for that being, was that eventually, she'd remember, and when she did, she would go searching for him, to yell, to hate, to love, to be with, but he knew that couldn't happen.

After the incident at his wedding, he didn't want to hurt Nathan again. That had done irreparable damage to his political campaign, and his approval rating had gone down nine points.

He grabbed a cigarette from his nightstand and walked out to his balcony. The moon provided enough light for him to light his cigarette.

The other him had taken on the habit, and Peter had just gone along with it. That was the other reason he'd fled. He didn't want his other persona giving Claire what he knew they shouldn't have. He wanted to save her from the hell he was condemned to, if the day when he died ever came.

An acceptance letter had arrived from NYU and UC San Diego, and he jumped at the idea of going California to study medicine. He didn't know when or how he'd applied, but he was happy he had. The weather in California was completely different from New York. He always had his shirt sleeves rolled up, and sometimes simply wore t-shirts.

His apartment was off the beach. Sometimes he'd walk outside and sit on the rocks and simply look on to the water, thinking only of Claire, and how she was. Most days though, were blank for him too, he'd resigned and let his other half take over, he surfed, he had friends, but Peter didn't. Peter was confined inside a cage, put to sleep, until he decided it was ok.

It should have bothered him, but it didn't. With out Claire he was empty inside, he didn't let himself heal, he didn't want to think of her. Yet everyday every blonde reminded him of her. His heart would always fasten, thinking it was her, but when the girls would turn, it was always someone else. All the blondes teased him, taunted his mind, everyday he was less and less alive. The day Claire's memories had vanished into thin air, part of him had gone with them.

Peter walked back inside, with his cigarette in hand grabbing the rest, and walked out of his apartment, on to the cove. He sat on the rock. He missed the days when he could see the sunrise instead of sunsets. He missed taking cabs everywhere and walking through overly crowded New York Streets.

"Peter?"

His head snapped up to see a blonde guy with a surf board, his name was Cole. He recognized him; it was a guy his other half had befriended. He didn't know him personally that well, but Cole seemed to know him pretty well. He sat next to Peter and laid his surfboard by his side.

"Can I bum one?" he asked referring to the cigarettes. He handed the carton and lighter over to Cole, who lit his own cigarette, and exhaled smoke.

"Why do you always sit here?" he asked confused, "It's depressing"

Peter shrugged as he raised the cigarette to his lips, sucking hard on it. Cole shook his head and laughed.

"That was some party last night, wasn't it?" he smiled.

Again, Peter shrugged, and smiled grimly, "I don't remember any of it actually"

Which was the truth, he didn't. His other half had taken over at the beginning of the party, he always said he was the better partier, Peter didn't deny it. He himself hadn't ever partied much, in school he'd mainly studied, and kept to his dorm.

Cole slapped Peter on his back, and laughed hard, "I figured dude, you party hard. You always do."

He stood up and stepped on the stub of his cigarette, "I'll see you later man. I have a Poli Sci final in the morning, well more like three hours! Ha!"

Peter waved as he left, and thought he was lucky. For him school didn't start until the end of August. He turned back to his view of the endless ocean; somewhere in Texas, it was seven and Claire would be on her way to school.

…...…

Odessa, Texas. Claire Petrelli

Petrelli. The last name sounded alien to her. Somehow, she had legally changed her name in New York, and had been accepted into the Petrelli mansion with the family. She had dreams about it, her bedroom, and of chasing her younger siblings around.

While Bennett had been her last name her whole life, Petrelli was the last name she wrote on her registration papers to admit her back into school. Upon her arrival to Union Wells High School, everyone bombarded her with questions. How it was like to live with the Petrellis', was she rich now? What had really happened at Peter's wedding. All the questions which she didn't have any answers too. She didn't remember what it was like to live with them.

When someone had asked her about Peter's wedding, she'd been shocked, by the mere fact that she'd attended it and didn't remember. All she remembered was her lonely trip to Paris, and how she'd spent her birthday and Christmas alone.

After a few days at home with her family, she'd gotten a disturbing phone call from a guy in New York claiming to be her boyfriend. His name was Jerod, and he'd said they were expecting a baby. She'd yelled at him and asked her dad to change their phone number, in case he tried to call back.

A few weeks after the phone call from Jerod, she'd gotten another one from her stepmother Heidi, who'd invited her to go back and visit them for the fourth of July. Her father had made her accept the invitation. He'd mumbled something about how her grandmother Angela would whisk her away again if she didn't go.

"Claire? Claire!"

Claire turned to look at Zach who was frowning at her.

"Seriously Claire, what did they do to you? You seem to be off in a cloud every couple of minutes," he accused.

She sighed smiling, "I don't know Zach…I just, it feels weird not remembering almost a full year of your life. How did you feel when the Haitian took your memories of being my friend away?"

He shrugged and offered her chips which she declined with a disgusted face, "See that's another thing! Before you'd stuff anything in your face, now it seems like you hate food."

Claire rolled her eyes, "Just answer my question Zach"

"Well everything seemed the same for me. The only thing I didn't remember was being your friend, other than that my life was pretty much normal"

Claire frowned walking along with Zach towards her house. All the way to her house they talked about her birthday and how it was only a week away. She was turning eighteen, and had already been admitted into NYU, UCLA, UCSD, and UT. Her parents hoped she'd pick UT, but something made her cling to UCSD. There was an Oceanography program that had attracted her to the school, and as much as she thought she didn't like the thought of leaving her family again, the school allured her.

"Have you gotten any letters from schools back?" she asked Zach.

"Yes, UCSD just like you, and UT"

"That's great Zach! We can both go to California!"

It sounded so simple, to pack up and leave for a whole different state, but in the back of her mind her family appeared, and she'd miss them.

They arrived at her front door and Claire spontaneously hugged Zach. When she pulled away, he frowned, looking half scared, half weirded out.

"What was that for?"

Claire beamed at him, "You never know when I'll see you again. I've learned to make all goodbye's memorable"

Zach shook his head laughing, "I'm sure I'll see you at graduation tomorrow, even if the world was ending, I don't think you'd miss that"

Claire laughed as Zach walked away and shut the door behind her. Her nostrils filled with the familiar spices of her mom's cooking. It lured her into the kitchen, where her mom was holding Mr. Muggles and stirring a pot.

"Hi honey, how was school.?" she asked kissing Claire on the cheek.

Claire smiled and shrugged, "as can be expected. I got my cap and gown today for tomorrow." she held up a plastic cleaners bag. It the gown and cap were red, but her tassel was white and red and read class of 08'.

"You are going to be the prettiest graduate there tomorrow," she beamed at her.

Claire grabbed Mr. Muggles from her mom, and set him down on the floor scratching his head.

"Your father and I received a call from your biological father today. Your family from New York is going to come to your graduation too"

Claire groaned, "Mom do they have to? I hardly know them!"'

"Honey, they have as much of a right to be there as we do. You have to be polite to them Claire, I didn't raise you to be hostile. Isn't that right Mr. Muggles? We want Claire bear to be nice don't we? Yes we do!"

Claire laughed, she was happy that nothing at home had changed since she'd been away. She thought about Nathan and the rest of her family from New York coming, that meant Peter would too. It had to mean that, he was the only person other than her own family she could trust. He saved her from Sylar twice, and with out any reason. Her skin prickled with expectancy as she thought of him, but she shook it off, she didn't like him right? He was her biological uncle, all she felt towards him was an appreciation.

Odessa, Texas. The Next Day

"Claire Petrelli!"

Claire walked forward to receive her diploma as her name was called. Seated far away from the graduates was both of her families. On the first row was her father, mother, and Lylle, who looked extremely bored. On the second was Nathan, Angela, Heidi, Monty and Simon. There was no sign of Peter anywhere. She looked back up as she was handed her diploma, hoping he'd show up afterwards.

He didn't. After all the graduates threw their caps and hugged each other, they walked to their families. Claire walked up to both of hers, biting her lip. Monty and Simon ran to her and hugged her at each side.

"Claire we miss you! You have to come home with us! Grandma said you would"

Claire smiled, but didn't remember getting to know them. They seemed so attached to her. She looked up to Nathan who smiled, handing her some keys.

"I'm so proud of you Claire. Every graduate deserves a present, I hope you like it, I asked Peter to help me pick it out for you"

Claire was puzzled, he'd handed her car keys. She looked down at the small Mercedes logo.

"Oh my god, no I can't possible accept that Nathan," she shook her head holding the keys back out to him.

Angela sighed and spoke up, "Take it child. He's your father, it will come in handy when you go off to college. I've taken care of your college expenses"

Claire looked over to her parents, who were forcing smiles. She knew they didn't approve of the expensive car, or the financial aid that Angela was offering. They were well off on their own, but she accepted their gifts anyway.

"Why don't we all go home, I've prepared meatloaf!" Claire's mom said excitedly.

Simon turned to Monty, "What's meatloaf?"

Monty frowned, "I think it's a loaf of bread and meat…right mom?" Monty tugged on Heidi's hand.

She nodded giggling, at them, "Yes honey, of course"

Once they got to Claire's house Lylle and the small boys were acquainted quite well. Heidi and Claire's mom had started talking about the kids, and cooking. The three that stood isolated and semi anti social were her father, Nathan and Angela. Claire smiled at all three of them, and hugged Angela who looked at her as if Claire had just done a back flip.

"I'm so happy everyone's here, why couldn't Peter make it?" she asked curiously.

"Oh Peter's busy in California. He got accepted into the medical school at UCSD, so he's preparing himself for that," Explained Nathan smiling at her.

Claire beamed, "I got accepted into UCSD too! I want to go study Oceanography there! They have an excellent program. This is perfect! I knew I wanted to go there, now Peter will be there too"

They all smiled except Claire's father, who pursed his lips, he still wanted her to attend UT.

Everything had finally brightened up. She had graduated, gotten a new car, and was going to go to school with Peter. He'd take care of her, she knew that. After all he was her hero.

---

Author's Note: The lyrics in the beginning are from various Bright eyes songs, that i mixed up, so it could work for the story. I know most of you who read the ending of Restricted Ardor were dissapointed by the ending, but don't worry, I promise I'll make it up to you! Please review! There WILL be Paire in this story, I promise!