Kansas Winston

“Kansas Winston?” Soda echoed lamely. “Do I know you?”

She rolled her eyes. They were icy blue, colder than even Dally’s eyes. And her hair was white-blonde and halfway down her back, sleek and wavy. “You do now. I’m Dallas’ sister.”

“Dally has a sister?” he exclaimed, so loud Steve jerked awake.

“No, Dally doesn’t have a sister,” Steve grumbled, still half-asleep, his eyes squeezed shut. “You’re still dreaming, Sodapop.”

“Oh, shut up,” Soda said impatiently. He’d just about had it with Steve by now. And besides, he was still upset about the stolen pillow. “Since when are you Dallas Winston’s sister?” he repeated.

Kansas looked bored as she examined her French-manicured hands. “Oh, I’ve been around. Hasn’t he told you about me before?”

“Uh…no.”

“Well, I am his sister. Half-sister, actually. We have the same mother, and I have no idea who my own father is. But since our mother left, we just let Dallas’ father keep thinking I was his real daughter, when really I’m not. Anyway, our mom seemed to like choosing names that were really places. Dallas, Kansas, Georgia…but you can just call me Sass,” Kansas informed them matter-of-factly. Soda was still trying to wrap his head around all of this when Steve cut in.

“Wait a minute. Who’s Georgia?” he demanded, standing up so he would look tougher. It didn’t work, because Sass turned out to be taller than both of them. “And how old are you anyway?”

“I’m sixteen. And Georgia is our younger sister. Well, was. She was attacked by Socs and just couldn’t recover,” Sass said bitterly, which was about all the emotion she’d displayed so far.

“This doesn’t make any sense,” Soda interrupted, totally confused now. “Dally has had two younger sisters his whole life and never thought to tell us? And one of them is dead?”

“That’s right,” Sass agreed, now pulling out a lighter and cigarette, inhaling the smoke deeply. “And what are your names, anyway? I was told this is where Dallas usually hangs out.”

“I’m Steve Randle,” Steve introduced himself, “And this is Sodapop Curtis.”

“You two live together, then?” Sass asked then, looking from one to the other curiously. “You’re a couple?”

Soda jerked out of his thoughts abruptly. “Oh, heck no! I live here with my brothers. Steve just stays here some nights ‘cause my little sister’s his girlfriend. Which I still don’t understand.”

“What’s not to understand?” demanded Steve indignantly. “I love her!” Just then Baby herself wandered out, and at the sight of her older brother, boyfriend and some strange girl in the room together, she said shrilly,

“Steven Randle! Who is that and what are you doing with her?!” Soda couldn’t help the smirk coming onto his face. Finally! Maybe the arrival of Kansas Winston would break them up once and for all.

Steve looked startled, then assured her, “Oh no, Baby. She’s with Sodapop, not me.” Baby looked mollified, but Soda jumped a foot at hearing this.

“What?” he yelped. “She’s not with me! I don’t even know who she is!”

“Oh, Soda, don’t be embarrassed of your girlfriend. She’s not as pretty as me, but she’s…passable,” Baby said sweetly, patting him on the arm. Sass looked murderous.

“You little brat!” she hissed, moving towards Baby threateningly, her fists balled up. “Why I—”

But suddenly the front door flew open and Two-Bit leaped in front of Baby as if to take the bullet for her. Well, figuratively speaking. How did he always get there just in time?

Sass let out a string of curses that would make her older brother proud. Where was Dallas, anyway? He should’ve been the one dealing with his sister’s just showing up here.

Soda stepped between all of them and held up his hands. “Okay. Everyone sit down and we’ll figure all this out.”

“Why?” Sass asked bluntly.

“Because,” he answered through gritted teeth, “You just showed up at my house in the middle of the night. And I hardly know who you are. Now sit.”

Everyone else did, but the amazingly tough girl refused. Instead, she leaned against the wall defiantly. Soda rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to speak when his brothers and Jasmine made their first appearance of the morning.

“Are you Dally’s sister?” Darry asked immediately, spotting her for the first time. She nodded.

“How did you know about her?” Soda asked incredulously. “I just found out this morning!”

“Oh, Soda,” Darry scoffed, “Anyone can see the resemblance between them. Why, she looks exactly like Dallas, only tougher!”

“And meaner,” added Ponyboy, actually looking a bit frightened of the girl himself. Sass smiled proudly and Baby was positively glowering when she flexed her muscles and Steve and Two-Bit stared at her admiringly.

“That’s right. I’m the toughest girl on the east side. I’m surprised you haven’t heard of me, with my bad reputation,” Sass added. “I once made my brother, Dallas, cry.”

Dally walked in and blushed at the memory. “I see you’ve all met Kansas,” he said.

“Yeah. Did you tell her to come here?” Soda asked angrily.

Darry cut in before Dally could answer, “It doesn’t matter why she came here. The point is, she is here. And we never refuse a girl who needs to stay at our house, Soda.”

Jasmine, who’d been unusually quiet before this, spoke up, “I met Sass once. She was being raped by Socs.”

Soda was horrified, but Sass merely remarked, “Oh yeah. I’d forgotten about that. Nice to see you again, Jasmine.”

Baby shrieked, “Darry, I don’t want her to stay here! Tell her to leave now!”

Darry seemed torn between his devotion to his younger sister and his declaration that nobody was refused refuge in the Curtis house. Finally, Steve piped up.

“Baby could come stay with me, Darry, while Sass is here,” he offered. Baby beamed.

“Oh yes, Darry!” she agreed. “Isn’t Steve’s solution absolutely perfect?”

“No!” Soda argued. “That’s the stupidest answer I’ve ever heard from you, Steve. Darry, why would you possibly let your little sister go to stay with her hormone-crazed boyfriend?”

Darry thought about this. “Because it will make Baby happy, Soda,” he said earnestly. “Go ahead, Babysister. Steve will take care of you now.”

Hand in hand, they left the Curtis house together, ever the happy couple.

Dallas looked at his sister curiously. “Why did you come here, Sass?” he wanted to know.

“Well, you see, I was beating up a Soc at a rumble last night,” she began, but Soda cut her off.

“There was a rumble last night? Since when?” he demanded.

“Since last night, obviously!” Sass said, rolling her heavily made up eyes. “Anyway. I was beating up a Soc, and he was knocked unconscious, so somebody called the fuzz or something. And I just needed a place to crash for the night, and I remembered Dallas mentioning some house around where the rumble was, so I came here and hoped it was the right place. And the door was open.”

Dallas looked proud of his sister’s story. “Well, that sounds about right to me. Is the Soc going to live, Sass?” he asked then, looking hopeful that the guy wouldn’t make it. Because Dally hated Socs and liked to see them killed in cold blood.

“I’m not sure. I think I might’ve punched him so hard that I killed him,” Sass said in a boastful tone.

Soda said skeptically, “I don’t think you could punch someone that hard.”

“Oh yeah?” Sass said threateningly, balling her fist again. “Want to find out?”

“It’s not worth it, Soda,” Dally whispered to him. “She could do it. She’s so tough, it puts me to shame sometimes!”

Soda smiled and said sweetly, “Oh no, I believe you, Sass.” Then she backed off.

And someone promptly knocked on the door. Soda groaned. He didn’t even want to see who it was, because lately all their guests had been his friends’ sisters. And he wasn’t particularly wanting to invite another one of them in.

“Soda, aren’t you going to answer the door?” Ponyboy asked.

“Why don’t you answer it?”

“I have homework to do. Geez. What else would I do on a morning like this?” Pony said sarcastically. “It’s not like I actually have a life outside of school!”

Soda then turned to Two-Bit. “What are you doing here anyway, Two-Bit?”

His friend answered by turning on the TV. “Mickey Mouse!” he shouted.

“Oh, I love Mickey Mouse!” Jasmine exclaimed, sitting down beside him. “It distracts me from the reality of my harsh, terrible life. For a few hours I can almost forget the pain inflicted on me every day of my life.”

Soda thought she was being even more melodramatic than ever, but everyone else was soon wiping away tears. Especially Dallas. Ponyboy looked furious at the thought of this girl being mistreated.

“Oh, Jasmine!” he cried, “Forget homework! I have to stay by you and protect you!”

“Forget homework?” Darry barked. “Forget it! Ponyboy, you will do your homework now! And while you’re at it, finish your sister’s homework too! Now!”

Ponyboy trembled at his brother’s yelling, which Soda considered unnecessary, considering Pony had been up and at his desk at the word ‘Ponyboy’.

Whoever was at the door continued to knock insistently, so Darry turned his attention to Sodapop. “Soda Patrick Curtis, answer the door this instant!” Soda was shocked. Darry hardly ever yelled at him, especially not over something as small as this.

But he got up and went reluctantly to the door…which had a hole in it?

“What the—why is there a hole in the door?” he yelped.

Sass Winston smiled to herself. “Oh, I was using it as my punching bag this morning and must have hit it a little too hard,” she said cheerily, “Silly me.”

Soda crossed it his fingers that the person on the other side of the door wouldn’t be who he thought it was…

But it was. Marlene Mathews.

Okay. Not sure if this one was as good or funny as the other two, but I tried. Thanks again for the reviews and suggestions. Now what should Miss Mathews get into? By the way, I’m wondering if time travel could work into this somehow…