Everyone was silent. No one moved an inch, all waiting on my response.

While I was a new vampire my memories were still fresh. I could remember my heartbreak. Of being so desperate to end my life and all because he said a fib? I love Edward with all my heart and soul and I know that even now I would have risked my life for him, but I couldn’t find it in me to just forgive him.

I looked up into his loving eyes. He had a slight smile on his face, but it quickly disappeared when he saw the anger in my eyes. I shook my head in disappointment and embarrassment and hurt. I gently took his hands away from me and rushed back up the stairs to the room I had woken up in. I sat down, put my head in my hands and just dry sobbed for what felt like hours.

He says he lied, but what was his reasoning? Maybe he was telling the truth… at the time. He really didn’t want me, but as a human. He wanted a vampire mate, not a weak living being that could break at his touch. He’s a over one hundred year old virgin, what did I expect? For him to stay with me and only receive little chaste, closed-mouth kisses? There is a man inside him.

Is that the only reason he stopped me from leaving? Just so he could have a vampire mate, in the truest sense of the word? He was too much of a gentlemen to change me himself, so maybe in a way he’s happy Victoria bit me, but now I wasn’t his singer. My blood wasn’t delicious to him. He was no longer drawn to me. There was never in love, only bloodlust, not even real lust. His kisses on my neck and face were all just teasing him; it was his way of pretending to satisfy that burning in his throat that I was now starting to feel.

With my vampire hearing I could hear everyone downstairs talking. From what I gathered we were in Denali with Tanya and her coven. Edward was explaining what happened in the forest to his family. Supposedly he never left my side during my change and never told them what happened besides that Victoria was my sire. I was interested to hear what he had to say about why I acted the way I did downstairs. I moved to the door and put my ear to it, to hear better.

“…when I told you that I thought we should leave for Bella’s own good I was serious but I knew she would need me to tell her I didn’t want her for her to accept it, for her to move on. I told her I didn’t want her anymore Carlisle!” he let out a sob of anguish, “She believed me so quickly and then… and then she started off into the woods. She said she had different meanings for reckless and stupid… she said she was getting over me. I can’t read her mind but I knew what she was planning…” I heard a soft thud and knew he had dropped to his knees in front of everyone sobbing uncontrollably. I didn’t need to see it to know that Esme had come forward and wrapped her arms around him, trying to sooth him. “She was going to kill herself, Esme. Over me. I’m not worth that. I love her so much and she believed me so quickly that I didn’t. I’ve told her so many times and it only took one word to convince her… I just wanted her to have a normal, safe life and… now that’s not even possible for her. I’ve taken everything from her and I can’t give it back…” then he snorted in mock humor, “And the really sad and selfish part is that there’s a part of me that’s happy she’s a vampire. I’m so sick. Kissing her just now was simply spectacular. It was like I was alive again. Carlisle, Esme… I’m such a terrible person. I’m not even a person… I’m a monster.”

“Edward, no. Bella loves you. Your not a monster,” Esme assured him.

“Edward you have to understand what Bella must be feeling right now,” Carlisle reasons, “She’s confused about everything that’s happened. All that has happened tells us that Isabella loves you, but you’ve got to give her time. She’s lost her family but gained another. She’ll realize that soon enough. We all care for her and love her.”

By that time I was sitting on the bottom step on the stairs and all heads popped up to look at me. I was relaxed, sitting quietly, my head bent, and my elbows resting on my thighs.

“I already knew that, Carlisle,” I mumble, but I knew everyone heard me perfectly. Edward jumped from where he was sitting with Esme and practically flew across the room, sliding on the wooden floors to stop right in front of me on his knees. My legs were slightly spread and he moved between them, wrapping his arms around my waist, his head over my heart. He cried, sobbing into me, holding me so tightly I knew that if I was human I would surely have broken. I was frozen in place, not knowing what my decision was. I looked around the room at all their beautiful, compassionate faces. This was my family. One hand stroked his hair, the other his back. I hummed my lullaby and was surprised when it sounded halfway decent with my now musical voice.

“I love you. I’m so sorry. Don’t leave me, please…” Edward sobbed. “I’m a stupid monster. I lied for a stupid reason. I love you so much… I’ll never leave you, I promise.” His arms tightened around me as if to assure himself that I was still there. I looked back up and found the room completely empty. He moved his head and started to kiss over my heart and then my neck. “I love you. I won’t leave…” he murmurs once more, resting his head over my non-beating heart.

I stopped stroking his hair and cupped his cheek, making him look up at me. Love, passion, anguish, fear, guilt…

“Time will tell.”