Song: Only One- Yellow Card Ocean Avenue

Timeline: After ‘The Gift’ and Ats’ ‘There’s No Place Like Home’

A/N: A little thing that’s been floating around in my head. I was going to use this song for a fic set during ‘Graduation Day Pt. 2,’ but thought it would fit better in a scene where Angel visits Buffy’s grave. I’ve never tried a song fic, so I hope it’s not too badly written. Tell me what you think by clicking that pretty little review button. If I get enough reviews, I might just write another song fic. Who knows? ; )

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Broken this fragile thing now

And I can’t…I can’t pick up the pieces

And I’ve thrown my words all around

But I can’t…I can’t give you a reason

Everyone had already left. No one wants to stay in a cemetery after dark. Who could blame them? This is Sunnydale, and add in the fact that it was almost 5 in the morning, I really didn’t expect anyone to be here. Actually, I knew no one would be here. The protector of Sunnydale was gone. My golden goddess was gone.

Before I could let the memory of Willow’s tragic visit wash over me, I looked down. Of their own volition, my feet had led me. And where they led me is making my mouth dry and my eyes shine with unshed tears.

I feel so broken up

And I give up

I just want to tell you so you know

“Buffy Anne Summers,” the grave stone reads, “She saved the world, alot.”

The words make me laugh, but all I really want to do is cry. There it is. I can’t deny it anymore. Buffy’s gone. Six feet under. Dead. And it’s all my fault.

Here I go

Scream my lungs out to try and get to you

You are my only one

I let go

There’s just no one that gets me like you do

You are my only, my only one

How could I have lost her? I’d done my best to keep her safe. I gave her all the chances to lead a normal life. I even gave my chance of having one for her. And now she’s dead. I guess that the decisions I made weren’t the best ones. If they were, she would be safe in my arms right now and not rotting in the ground.

I’m starting to realize how badly I screwed up.

Made my mistakes, let you down

And I can’t…I can’t hold on for too long

Ran my whole life in the ground

And I can’t…I can’t get up when you’re gone

My mind runs through the scenarios over and over. If I hadn’t left during graduation day, or if I had stayed when Doyle had that first vision of her in danger. Or, when I first met Captain Cardboard. Or when her mother died. Or better yet, I should’ve felt the danger she was in and run to her side, instead of chasing fucking Cordelia into another dimension. All those times I could’ve prevented this, yet I was too busy acting like a fucking superhero in LA to help the woman I loved.

I kneel down and place my head on her grave, the rose I brought dangling from my hand. I keep silently praying for the sun to come up and reduce me to ashes. Though, I don’t expect anyone to answer them. Really, why would the great and mighty one grant a wish of mine, when I killed his greatest warrior?

Something’s breaking up

I feel like giving up

I won’t walk out until you know

“My dearest Buffy,” I began, lifting my head up slightly. “ You always were the only girl in all the world. Even with Kendra and Faith, you were always the better warrior. No one could surpass you. That’s one of the many reasons I love you so much. You didn’t let anything get in your way, not even death and I admire that about you.”

I stopped as the tears threatened to spill over and then started again. “You know, I rehearsed this, ran it through in my head and I still can’t get it right. I still can’t tell you how special you are to me without crying. Buffy, I love you so much and I’m sorry I wasn’t there to save you. I should’ve been there, but I wasn’t and I’m here today to tell you this before I go.”

Here I go

Scream my lungs out to try and get to you

You are my only one

I let go

There’s just no one that gets me like you do

You are my only, my only one

Slowly, I reach into my pants pocket and pull out the note Willow gave me. Buffy had written it before she died and it was addressed to me.

I smile as my fingers brush the curvy, feminine letters that spell out my name. The writing was entirely Buffy.

Here I go

So dishonestly, leave a note

For you my only one

And I know

You can see right through me, so let me go

And you will find someone

My sweet Angel,

I know that if you’re reading this than Willow has already given you the news.

And I know that you’re probably blaming yourself.

But, you shouldn’t because it’s no one’s blame really.

Now Dawn’s, not yours, not mine. Not even Glory’s.

This is my gift.

Angel, I’ve lived my life. I had the greatest times.

I mean, I had the chance of being with you right?

I’ve done my duty, fought more monsters than anyone could dream of in a life time and this is my reward.

I get to rest in piece.

Oh god, I hope that’s not on my gravestone.

Moving on, I guess what I’m really trying to say is that just because my life has ended doesn’t mean yours should too.

You need to fight the good fight because that’s your destiny.

And when you fulfill it, and get your shanshu, yes I know about that Mr. Big Secret Keeper, when you get it, I want you to find someone that makes you happy, that you can love with all your heart, mind, body, and soul.

The way I loved you.

Love,

Buffy

I start to really cry then. She must have known my intentions before I even thought of them. And she must know that I can’t do what she says. How could I love someone that much when she’s already taken that place?

Here I go... Scream my lungs out...
And try to get to you...
You are my only one...
I let go... But there's just no one!
No one like you!!
You are my only... My only one...
(Ah... ah...)
My only one...
(Aah... ahh... ahh...)
My only one...
(Ah.. ah..)
My only one...
(Ah..)
You are my only...
...My only one.

Now, that I’ve said my temporary goodbyes, because temporary they are. Buffy and I will meet again someday. I know that in my heart. Now that, I’ve said them what do I do?

I drop my rose on her grave and scurry into the nearest tomb just as the sun comes up. I can’t die now. If I did that who would be there to boss Cordy around?

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A/N2: Btw, this fic ignores every season in Btvs and Ats afterwards. Angel never falls in love with Cordelia and Connor is never conceived. Buffy is not brought back because the scooby gang knows how to deal.