|Why Duke Red Hates Rock So Fricking Much!
Author: Kairi Uzeniba PM
[For Nae'ka's challenge!] Duke Red hires some maids and butlers. Unfortunately, they'll do everything in their power to push Duke Red to insanity...through minor annoyances! [crackfic] [rated for weird things...]Rated: Fiction T - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,069 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 08-08-07 - Published: 07-07-07 - id: 3642543
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: I made this for Nae'ka's challenge! I hope it's funny. I added some extra stuff of my own, too. My motto: Read, Review, and Enjoy!
A Huge Mistake
Duke Red passed by his adopted son in the hallway.
"Hey, son." he said nicely. Rock grinned and waved.
Duke Red was going to see his new maid and butlers. They were going to be his closest servers. So he had to give them a little prep/pep talk before they began. When he arrived, he saw 5 maids and 5 butlers.
What Duke Red didn't know was that these 10 servers had been rejected from all other jobs because they were the most annoying, obnoxious, nosy pranksters in all of Metropolis. They'd played it smart this time, and acted normal when they were interviewed and put normal things on their resumès.
"Alright, servers," he began. "Welcome to the mansion of the Red Party! I hope you are happy with the wages I am offering you, and you can enjoy your working here. I shall try to be nice to you all. Any questions?"
A maid raised her hand. "Yes?" Duke Red responded.
"You have a very big nose." she stated blandly, pointing at his huge hook nose.
The Duke rubbed his nose a little. "Yes. I am aware of that. Anymore questions?"
A butler raised his hand. "Yes?"
"Are you gay?" he asked as if it were a normal question. There was a pause.
"…No. No I'm not." the Duke replied, trying not to get angry.
"Are you sure?" he questioned.
"Yes." he responded.
"Really sure?" he asked again.
"Look, I had a daughter, remember?"
"Oh." the butler said, disappointed.
Duke Red was getting pretty weirded out, so he dismissed his knew serving people.
THE NEXT MORNING…
Duke Red yawned as he awoke, still in bed. One of his new maids entered the room with a tray of coffee, tea and pastries.
"Good morning, Duke-AAAAAHAHAH!!" she screamed.
She spilled everything on Duke Red. Everything. The coffee all over his legs and his…you know. The tea all over his chest, and the jelly pastries all over his face.
Duke Red screamed as everything fell on him, but quickly stopped.
"What? What's going on?" he asked worriedly. The maid pointed at his face.
"You have…a…you have a huge nose!" she yelled. The Duke was silent.
"Get another maid to come clean this up." he gritted.
Soon another maid came in and everything was cleaned up. Soon he'd showered and dressed. The maid returned to make sure everything looked alright.
"Hello-oo!" she said happily. She went right up to Duke Red. "Oh, Duke Red. If only I could be as pretty as you."
"Um…what do you mean by that?" he asked nervously.
"You're so pretty, that's all." she said cheerily. The Duke blinked. Then the maid giggled and skipped away.
Rock walked past Duke Red.
"Good morning father," he said.
"Morning Rock," he replied.
A butler stood nearby. When he saw this incident, he bounced his eyebrows naughtily. Duke Red was confused. "What?"
"You're so naughty, Duke. You said your weren't gay."
"Um…I'm not." he replied. "What are you trying to say?"
"Do you…'want'…Rock?" he asked.
"What do you mean?"
"You know…'WANT' him. As in, go in a closet and don't come out for a while." the butler said, bouncing his eyebrows again.
There was a short pause.
"You have a sick mind!" Duke Red said. "He's my son! He may be adopted, but he's still my son!"
As Duke Red walked away, the gay butler slapped the Duke's ass. The Duke turned around and did the 'I'm watching you.' motion. And walked away.
The butler shook his head. "Typical."
As he walked down the hallway, he wondered whether hiring new servers was really a good idea. This is getting pretty ridiculous, he thought.
A maid began following him. Duke Red barely took notice.
A spray sound was heard. It sounded liked Lysol. The Duke ignored it. It's just the maid.
The Duke looked at a painting. It was of his family, when his wife and Tima were still alive. He tapped the picture lightly. Then he walked away.
He turned around. The maid was rubbing the painting with a cloth.
"What are you doing??!" he yelled. The maid looked up.
"There was a little smudge, sir. I was just getting it off."
Duke Red kept walking.Don't get too paranoid, Red, he thought.
He came upon his certificate. Framed and untouched for a long time, it showed what year he graduated from a certain college. He rubbed his finger along where he'd signed his name. Then he walked away.
He came across Rock.
"Hello, dad," Rock greeted.
"Hi." The Duke said blandly. Seeing Rock reminded him of that sick and twisted butler. He shuddered at the thought of it.
"Yes Rock?" the Duke said, turning around.
"Are you alright, you seemed a little irritated. Is everything o.k.?" he asked.
At least Rock was stilled considerate. "Yes, Rock I'm fine." The Duke put a hand on Rock's shoulder. "Don't you worry about it."
The Duke began to walk away.
"Excuse me?" Rock said. Duke Red turned around. The maid was wiping off Rock's shoulder.
"Why do you keep doing that??!" Duke Red asked, frustrated.
The maid just stared at him. And ran away. Rock looked confused. Duke Red waved his hand meaning 'Just forget about it.' Rock shrugged and kept walking.
This is starting to look like I made a mistake, Duke Red thought.
A/N: Yeah, this'll probably be multiple chapters. Probably only 2 or 3, though. Nae'ka, I hope you like this! I won't do all of your genius ideas, but I'll do a lot of them. Please review! Thanks, and come back for the next chapter!