On the Brink of a Break

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A/n: Please enjoy! This is my personal favorite of my Feeling Electric/Next to Normal fics I've written so far... tell me what you think!

Disclaimer: I do not own Feeling Electric; Brian Yorkey and Tom Kitt do.

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I look at his slumped form lying on the floor, a floor stained with his blood. A wicked smile crosses my face. As sadistic as it is, I have finally struck back, landed a blow on those who hurt me, those who rejected me, those who refused to believe. All these years- sixteen, to be exact- and almost the whole time, I was preying on the wrong victim. Diana was too sucked into the web of lies I had spun for her, believed too much that I was still alive. In the end, she was too stubborn to go down, too stubborn in her beliefs. Too stubborn to die. Dan, on the other hand? Dan was weak. Dan went willingly.

I tear away from him, and glance in the mirror. Suddenly, I freeze.

I’m not there. I can’t see myself in the mirror at all. I get closer, and I still can’t see myself. I hold up one hand in front of my face. I’m see-through! I glance down at my feet. All you can see is the fuzzy outline. All of a sudden I’m feeling very weightless. There’s only one explanation for what’s happening.

I’m disappearing.

Why? Why? Why am I disappearing? I start feeling panicky. It must be because no one really believes anymore. I disappeared after Diana had shock treatment, although there was enough uncertainty in her mind that I could silently lurk in her dark thoughts. But after she left, after she vowed to forget or not care, I latched onto Dan Brown, this broken man. And now he is dead. And no one believes.

I’m Tinkerbell, I realize. Diana had been very insistent upon the whole family screaming “I DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES!” whenever we watched Peter Pan. I do believe in my dead son. I do. I do.

But no one believes in me anymore. No one believes, and I’m dying.

I must have known this was coming. I know everything. I know that right now Natalie’s off fucking her little druggie boyfriend instead of coming home to find her father dead. I know Madden is spending another restless night, wondering if all his failed clients are right, if suicide really is the way to gain control. I know Diana is on her Greyhound to oblivion, chewing the Pop Rocks and taking very careful sips of water. I know everything, so I must have known that one day I would disappear. And that must be why I pushed so hard for Diana to kill herself, for Dan to die. Because only stupid people want to die alone.

I am many things- brother, son, ghost, hallucination- but I am definitely not stupid.

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A/n: Please review!