Disclaimer: Naruto and associated characters are property of Masashi Kishimoto. They are not my property!

Annual Physical

Author's note: This idea came to me this morning as I was planning the next few chapters of Fourteen Dates and A Book of Five Rings (instead of working), and wouldn't let me rest until I put fingers to keyboard. (I work from home, in case you're wondering. I wouldn't dare write something like this from an actual office.) I thought it might be nice to write a lemon entirely from Kakashi's point of view. I love getting inside his head—he's easily the most complex character in the series, as well as the most attractive.

This is my first attempt at a one-shot, so if you like (or don't like) what you've read, I would love to hear from you! Depending on response, I may write another. One other thing you should know—character development is pretty important to me, so I won't be skipping straight to the sex. If you're looking for a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am kind of story, you've come to the wrong place. However, having said that, please be advised that the sex in this story is pretty graphic and there are also some fairly detailed descriptions of certain medical procedures typically feared by the "stronger sex." This is your warning-- this is probably the smuttiest story I've written yet. Hmm…maybe that's encouragement? All kidding aside-- If you are under age 18, please stop reading. It's really not appropriate.

Now I'm blushing. Seriously. Thanks for reading!

This is why he avoided hospitals like the plague. The "we" speak was bad enough— "And what kind of pain are we feeling today? We really need to do a better job finishing our dinner, don't we?"—but for the most part he could ignore the incessant blathering and revocation of personal space that seemed to accompany hospital visits. That was what the orange books were for, after all, to provide a modicum of separateness, a 2 cm thick, hardbound wall of aloofness, an escape to a place where he was blissfully alone, apart from probing questions and prodding fingers. But what Sakura was doing to him right now—well, there was no way he could pretend it wasn't happening. Talk about an invasion of privacy.

The afternoon had started off innocently enough. In the midst of a long-promised sparring session with Naruto, Kakashi had suddenly remembered the threat Tsunade had made the previous week, and the rather arbitrary deadline she had imposed. He hadn't been giving her his complete attention during his most recent debriefing session, as he'd barely cracked the binding of his latest novel, and it was damned interesting. More interesting than hearing the alcohol-soaked princess lecture him about punctuality and his lack of other shinobi traits, anyway. What he had heard, when he finally tuned in to the Godaime's dark glare, was something about having a complete physical by the close of business, the following Friday afternoon. The alternative she'd presented to him with an evil smile was three weeks duty as a substitute teacher in the ninja academy's kindergarten. She knew her underlings well, it seemed, and had no compunctions about exploiting their weaknesses. Kakashi shuddered as he remembered this credible threat, then jumped when he'd looked over at the clock tower that was barely visible from where he stood. "Four forty-five," read its ornate, analog face. That didn't leave much time. Kakashi had no doubt that Tsunade had meant five p.m. when she'd set her deadline.

He'd jumped from the upper branches of the tree where he'd spent the last half-hour surveilling Naruto, patiently waiting for the perfect opportunity to execute a genjutsu he'd recently picked up. Its success was dependent on its victim being in just the right frame of mind, and from the lovesick, moony expression he'd observed on the younger man's face, the timing would have been perfect. He'd almost giggled aloud at the thought of Naruto embracing a near-naked Hinata, only to find himself in the arms of a spider, or snake, or whatever. The details were entirely up to the victim—the genjutsu would tap into ones subconscious and pull out whatever was most closely tied to the emotions of love, fear and terror. The copy ninja had consoled himself, as he leaped from branch to trunk to clay-tiled rooftop. There'd be time enough to test the genjutsu later. Naruto was always bugging him to train together.

Kakashi had felt no qualms at abandoning the spiky-haired future hokage. Naruto would figure things out eventually. He always did. Reaching the flat, fenced roof of the hospital, Kakashi had rushed to the stairwell door, and had sworn profusely when he realized it was locked. There was no use in performing any of the dozen techniques he knew that would easily open the door—the building had been made impervious to ninjutsu. He'd been in on that retrofitting effort, in fact, as his knowledge of enemy jutsu was unsurpassed.

The technical specialist had hastily jumped to the ground, then dashed up four flights of stairs before remembering that his teleportation jutsu just might have gotten him to the exam offices a bit more efficiently. There was no ban on ninjutsu inside the walls of the hospital, after all. If there had been such a prohibition, the medics wouldn't have been able to their job. Kakashi had sighed at his lack of forethought, but continued to hurry toward the wing of the building dedicated to well-patient visits. Maybe the Kyuubi container's impaired cognitive skills were rubbing off on him.

The halls were deserted, he'd noted, as one might expect at 4:55 on a Friday afternoon. One office was still lit, however, and Kakashi had breathed a deep sigh of relief as he'd remembered just who the occupant of this particular corner office was. Sakura had done well for herself, he'd thought fleetingly. To be twenty two and so highly placed in the hospital hierarchy was an unheard-of accomplishment. But surely she deserved it. Her skills were unsurpassed.

The office door had slid open just as Kakashi was about to knock, and a rather surprised-looking Sakura barely prevented herself from bumping into her former sensei. "Yes, former," Kakashi had found himself telling himself. It had been quite a long time since he'd had the privilege of teaching her, and had she certainly grown since then. And in more ways than one, he thought pervertedly, as he stared at the still-petite yet womanly kunoichi. She was still thin, he'd noted, but she'd filled out, perfectedly, her form the well-rounded hourglass shape that drove men wild. Even her face was softer than it had been years ago. She was stunningly beautiful, he'd realized at that moment, then quickly admonished himself. She may be beautiful, more intelligent than almost any other in the village, and kind to a fault, but one thing was certain. As his former student, she was absolutely off-limits. He would never make advances to someone who was once his student, even if their student-teacher had ended years ago. Many years ago. Even if she was the most gorgeous specimen of femininity he'd set eyes on in quite a long time. Even if there weren't any official rules against doing so. And it certainly wouldn't do to be thinking inappropriate thoughts should she be kind enough to agree to the request he was about to make.

"You surprised me, sensei," she'd said with a small smile, and Kakashi had felt something unlatch within himself and open up on creaky hinges. She'd released a feeling he couldn't quite place, a feeling that completely frightened him, as he had no clue just how he might shut it up and lock it away again. He was thoroughly entranced by her, he'd realized. Her words were like a song in a foreign language—he could appreciate the melodious rising and falling of accent and pitch without considering the content of her words—

"Kakashi sensei! Are you listening to me? I said it's late. If there's something you need, please tell me. Otherwise, I'd like to go home." She looked at him with the impatient glare he remembered so well, although in the past it typically had been directed at Naruto, not her beloved sensei.

Times change. She's not your little girl anymore, is she?

He'd seemed to be operating on some kind of time delay, but finally her words had registered. He'd snapped out of his waking dream and belatedly responded to her question. He hated to beg, he'd told her, but he desperately needed his annual physical. Right now. Would she be willing to accommodate him? He'd smiled his best wheedling smile, the one that had worked years ago on his mother. Not that Sakura could see said smile, but he'd hoped that she might infer its wattage from the deep creasing of his visible eye.

She'd bit her lip as she considered his request. He'd quickly decided a bit more begging was warranted. His head would be on a platter, he'd told her, if she didn't help him out. He could certainly understand if she shied away from treating people she knew closely, but couldn't she make an exception just this once, considering it was a matter of life and near death? Well, not really, but she didn't need to know that.

She gave him a long, appraising look, a look he'd instantly recognized, as it was a look he was sure she'd learned from him. He had taught her something after all, he'd realized with an inner grin. She was weighing the pros and cons of helping him. Her expression suggested that so far, the cons far exceeded the pros. In an effort to tip the scales, he'd immediately suggested an offer of dinner directly after the exam, if by any chance she were free. She'd snorted at this, shaking her head as she tried to suppress a giggle.

She'd let him in on the joke after just a little while.

"Do you really consider that a reward? Why would I want to go out to dinner with someone who has the social graces of--" she'd searched for an appropriate comparison— "a turtle?"

"A turtle?" That certainly wasn't the image he'd been trying to project all these years.

"A turtle. Head always buried in a book, face half covered. Reclusive and uncommunicative. Yes, definitely a turtle."

Apparently, bribery didn't work with the fiercely independent kunoichi. Funny, he'd thought to himself. It used to.

"Please, Sakura?" This had been about as low as he was willing to go. It wasn't quite groveling, he'd rationalized.

She'd regarded him, a small frown marring her striking features.

He could sink lower, he'd realized. "For me, Sakura?"

That should have worked, but didn't. He sighed. "Anything you want. Just name it."

She'd reluctantly agreed, after giving him another appraising look, eyes slightly narrowed in thought.

"I'll do it, sensei, but it will be a full exam. I'm not willing to sign my name unless I'm certain about your health. Agreed?"

"Agreed." He'd smiled to himself. This was Sakura's subtle way of getting the opportunity to look at his face. That was a small enough price to pay, he'd thought. Long ago, he'd grown tired of Team Kakashi's endless attempts to discover what lay beneath the mask. He would have shown it to them if they hadn't been quite so annoying about it. There was another reason for his smile, however. Women usually had a strong reaction when they did finally see his face, and he'd realized he was looking forward to Sakura's response.

Sakura had steered him to the exam room adjoining her office, but quickly left his side to collect his chart after commanding him (somewhat imperiously, in his opinion) to get undressed.

He'd complied, stripping down to his boxer briefs and hopping up onto the paper covered exam table. He'd pointedly ignored the hospital gown that lay neatly folded next to him. He wasn't sick, after all, and Sakura had seen him in various states of undress over the course of Team Kakashi's history. His lack of appropriate attire therefore shouldn't be an issue.

"For someone who hates the hospital you sure have a large file." Sakura's voice preceded her entry into the room. Her arms were full with the several bulging accordion folders that comprised the medical records of his thirty year career as shinobi. It was a wonder she could navigate, actually, considering her immediate view was blocked by the dog-eared manila collection.

"Perhaps that's why I hate the hospital," he'd said in reply to her comment, and waited for her jaw to drop.

She hadn't looked up. Instead, she'd quickly paged through his records, scanning over the multiple accounts of stab wounds, broken bones and burns, until finally she'd come across the notes from his previous physical.

"No wonder Tsunade wants your head on a platter. Ten years is really too long between physicals."

He wouldn't have even kept that appointment ten years ago, if it hadn't been a requirement for jounins taking on a new team. It, like the current appointment, had been forced on him. The medic who'd examined him then wasn't anywhere near as attractive as this one, however. Of course, he was a man…

"Well, let's get started, shall we?" Sakura closed the folder set atop the small mountain of notes, and turned away to locate her medical tools.

Again with the "we" speak.

Unfortunately, his beloved novel was out of arm's reach.

So much for the first line of defense.

"Oh."

Oh? She finally noticed. Shouldn't she at least drop her stethoscope or something? And why is she laughing?

"You didn't have to take off your mask, you know."

I didn't? Then what was all this talk about a full exam?

"There's really no need to look at your throat unless it's bothering you, and your teeth are your dentist's business, not mine. And considering that your skin is always covered, it's really not likely that you'd have skin cancer… But I'm glad you did. Arigato."

She was blushing, he'd noticed. Somehow, it made her seem even more attractive.

Stop it. Off limits. Definitely off limits.

"I always knew you'd turn out to be a handsome devil."

Handsome. Devil. Why was she making this so hard? Why was she making him so hard?

Well, that's fairly obvious, isn't it? Look at her. She's…perfect.

Sakura had moved through the first elements of the physical quite thoroughly, stopping every now and then to take notes in some personal shorthand that was not immediately decodable. She'd looked at him as though he were a schoolboy caught cheating, when she glanced up to see him craning his neck toward her notepad.

"I'll be happy to share these with you when we're done. And maybe I'll give you a lollipop, too!" She'd smirked at him before resuming her note taking. "If you're a good boy, that is."

Physicals hadn't changed much in the ten years since his last one, Kakashi had surmised. Apparently, he hadn't missed much. She'd surprised him only once, so far, with her request that he walk slowly across the room, first away from her, then toward her.

"I'm not inebriated, you know."

"You've had enough broken bones that I'd like to make sure that everything still lines up. Sometimes one leg ends up a little shorter than the other, you know. Please use a little better posture when you walk. You're not that tall, you know."

Who ever said he slouched because of his height? It was more to suggest to the world his apathy, and it worked quite well, by all accounts.

He'd sat through the rest of the exam patiently, including the part he hated most. He always felt uncomfortable when his Sharingan eye was assessed. But he'd borne it, like a man, for her sake. It honestly hadn't been that difficult to do so. She'd stood mere centimeters from him as she examined his eye with the thoroughness she was known for. He felt the warmth of her body radiate through her clothes and the small insulating layer of air that hung between them. Still, he'd felt rewarded when they'd arrived at the part of the exam he was sure he'd like most—the laying on of hands. Her hands.

Sakura's chakra, like the rest of her, was beautiful, he'd thought, soothing yet powerful, subtle yet strong. Her face was a study in concentration as she sent tendrils of her essence inside of him, seemingly exploring his every tissue, every cell. This aspect of the exam took longer than he remembered. He'd quickly realized, however, that he didn't mind. Having her this close to him, feeling the light caress of her hands against his flesh—this was as close to heaven as he was likely to get. She smelled so good, her scent a heady mixture of vanilla and lavender, and strangely enough, freshly cut grass. And another smell, too, he'd realized, the subtle, slightly spicy fragrance of her flesh. She was intoxicating—

"Kakashi sensei? Did you come here straight from training?"

"Mmm hmm." Her question had taken just a moment to register. "I was in a bit of a hurry. Otherwise—"

Did she think he stunk?

She had laughed softly, reading his facial expression accurately. "Actually, I like how you smell. I was just curious about the salt on your skin." She licked her finger to confirm the identity of the white powder. "It's just that I don't ever think I've seen you break a sweat before."

Is she trying to make me lose control? Kuso, she just licked her finger!

"I—I ran here. I was worried I wouldn't get here in time."

"You really were nervous, weren't you? But not about being late. That's not like you." She'd smiled as she caught a glimpse beneath the underneath. "Did you really think I would say "no," to you? Have I ever?"

Sakura had then risen from the small wheeled stool, that, he noticed, was clearly marked "Medic use only," and stretched languorously, before turning away from him to lean over a metal and glass cabinet stocked with gloves and sundry medical supplies. He couldn't peel his eyes away from the magnificent view she presented. She'd turned around to give him a dirty look. It was clear she'd felt his eyes on her.

"Are we finished?" he'd asked, reaching for his shirt. What more was left?

"Hardly. I'll need you to completely disrobe." She'd pulled out a box of latex gloves and slid two on, then reached into a lower shelf to pull out another box, as well a tube that looked strangely like toothpaste. "You might feel less…exposed, if you put on that gown, you know. You can change over there." She'd indicated a free standing screen. Kakashi didn't move, though, unabashedly removing the last of his clothes, as he'd stood before her.

"What exactly are you planning to do? I don't really recall…" His previous exams had ended at this point. He always did his best to intimidate whichever medic was unlucky enough to be stuck with him. They'd typically skipped over a few things, including the genital exam he'd been none to eager to experience. Not that he had anything to be ashamed of, of course. He'd laughed inwardly at the thought of Sakura checking out the goods.

Sakura had scanned his body then, her eyes lingering briefly on his newly exposed flesh, briefly enough that the typical person might not have noticed. Of course, Kakashi did notice, and internally beamed with pride. She hadn't been able to fully conceal the expression of wonder that had involuntarily graced her features upon gazing upon his… attributes.

"Digital exam."

"Digital exam what?" He'd forgotten the question.

"Surely you've done this before. Haven't you?" She'd looked at him curiously.

He'd done his best to hide the confusion in his mismatched eyes.

Digital. Digit. As in finger? Kuso. Not that.

"I'll take that as a no, then. Really, sensei, at your age a prostate exam isn't optional." She looked away for a moment, then directly in his eyes. "Am I making you uncomfortable? Don't be. It won't hurt, and it won't take long, and if it makes you feel any better, women get exams like this all the time. Well, not exactly like this. But it's for your own good. And you promised."

He'd noticed something in her look, then, something vaguely familiar. Perhaps it was being on the receiving end that made it hard to recognize, but finally he'd clued in. Apparently this was another thing he'd taught her. He'd frowned to think of pure, sweet Sakura gone cynical and a wee bit sadistic. Was this payback for all the grueling practices she'd endured as a genin? The look was gone in an instant, but his apprehension had lingered. It was clear that she wouldn't take no for an answer.

"I'll need you to lean over the exam table, and spread your legs just a little." She set a box of baby wipes on the leather and metal reclining table. "These are for later."

He'd heard the thick, glorpy sound of liquid gushing from a tube, and he'd suddenly realized that what he thought was toothpaste was anything put.

Wrong orifice, by a long shot.

"I'll need you to bear down," she'd said, and suddenly she was inside him. Where no man (or woman) had gone before.

She had completely invaded his privacy. And now she was—

Kuso! Why does that feel so good? Was she… stroking him?

"I'm just palpating your prostate to make sure it's the right size and shape. Feels good."

Feels good. Damn, it feels good. Her touch was so light, so gentle, and so incredibly pleasurable. But shouldn't she be stopping? She'd said it would be over quickly. He'd never heard any of his friends use pleasurable terms to describe this type of exam. Actually, he'd never heard any of them discuss it at all. But at the bath—no, it was at a hot spring resort—hadn't he overheard some older men discussing it? And not in favorable terms, if he remembered correctly. Maybe he was just overly sensitive—he did seem to enjoy sex a lot more than most people. Kakashi's hands crumpled the paper overlying the exam table as he searched for something to cling to. She was absolutely driving him crazy. And this was intentional-- he was sure of it.

"How does that make you feel, Kakashi?"

Had she really said that, or was his mind playing tricks on him? At any rate, he couldn't answer, as the neurons serving his vocal cords seemed to be temporarily severed. He couldn't only pant in pleasure, eyes closed, as he focused on the intense, intimate sensations she elicited. She was about to push him over the edge—

And then it stopped. He heard the rustle of her gloves as she pitched them into the trash, followed by the sound of running water and the scratching of pen against paper. He belatedly realized what the baby wipes were for, and cursed underneath his breath. This certainly made up for any mistreatment he'd directed at her years ago. It more than made up for it. Hell, wasn't this sexual harassment? It did make Izumo and Kotetsu's relationship a bit easier to understand, though…

Sakura stood, note taking completed, wheeled her stool over to him, then sat before him, her eyes at the same level as his still-exposed privates, which had been thoroughly aroused by her previous exploration.

"Women get exams like that all the time?" Kakashi asked weakly, finding his voice, and doing his best to make light of an embarrassing situation.

She laughed softly. "No, sensei, not exactly like that. It's hard to get aroused by a pelvic exam." She caught sight of the red tinge creeping into his cheeks and blushed herself. "It can happen for a digital exam, though. Sensei, I have one thing left to do, and it's important, but if you really want me to stop, I will. I can see I've made you… uncomfortable."

That's a bit of an understatement.

"No, Sakura. Let's just get this over with. And damn it, stop calling me that."

"I need to be honest with you, Kakashi." She paused, as if trying his name on for size. "The reason I didn't want to do your exam is…" He noticed her breath had quickened slightly, and her eyes were focused at some point on the wall behind him. "The truth is…" She nearly whispered the next words. "I'm terribly attracted to you."

He blinked.

"You hadn't noticed?" Her cheeks were crimson.

"I—" Again, his voice left him. Or rather, his ability to form words. Naruto really did seem to be rubbing off on him. Or maybe it was the fact that very little blood was reaching his brain.

"So. You can get dressed. You're as fit as…" Her eyes inadvertently glanced at the erect organ in front of her. "… a horse." It didn't seem possible, but she blushed even more deeply.

"Finish what you started, Sakura." There was the slightest hint of a threat in his voice, and rightly so, in his opinion. He'd be damned if he was going to be the only one to leave this exam room flustered.

"Okay, then." She gloved up again, then took a deep breath, and moved closer to inspect him carefully. "I'll just need to check for any visible lesions…" She ran her finger along his glans, then along his length, lifting his shaft slightly as she did so. Her sigh was audible, and it brought a smile to the copy ninja's face. It was empowering to know he had this effect on her.

"N-no discharge?"

"Never."

"And you use protection?"

"Always."

Usually.

She cupped his scrotum with one hand, and pressed gently against each of the small twin organs they held as she traced his inner anatomy. "Turn your head and cough." He recognized that command, he realized. It was funny he'd never experienced it firsthand before now.

"Anything I should know about?"

"Like what?" He was definitely enjoying this.

"Discomfort, rash, that sort of thing."

"No. Sorry to disappoint you."

"You haven't disappointed me." Apparently she hadn't meant to say that. He nearly laughed at the blush that developed almost instantaneously—she'd only returned to her normal color a minute or so beforehand.

Sakura cleared her throat and Kakashi recognized a familiar set to her shoulders. She was certainly putting on a good show of being brave.

"Almost done." She grasped his shaft again, more firmly, this time, then pressed gently along its length. He felt himself twitch and a sigh escaped his lips. Her gloved fingers moved to touch his sensitive tip again, and he felt them glide smoothly over its velvet surface. A droplet of moisture escaped from the small opening at his member's end, and he groaned quietly as he felt her fingers continuing to slide against him, their task made much easier by the sudden wetness. And so much more pleasurable.

"All done," she said softly, but her hand continued to move against him, now sliding up and down his rigid shaft, her fingers feather light against the ridges and planes of his anatomy.

"Don't stop."

Sakura obliged, but in a way he hadn't expected. He suddenly felt her soft tongue lapping against his tender head, tracing its contours expertly. He silently prayed for her to take him deeper into her mouth and was pleasantly surprised when she did so, and by the soft moans she made as she repeatedly pulled away from him, only to take him ever more deeply into herself. She tilted her head to rub his tip against the rough tissue of the roof of her mouth and was rewarded with a deep groan of pleasure. She seemed to want all of him inside of her and was doing her best to accomplish this, sheathing and unsheathing him with the flesh of her mouth and throat, stopping every now and then to focus on his more sensitive parts. He wondered how she was able to take him into her mouth while continuing to flicker her tongue against his glans. After a while, however, he stopped caring, content to focus on her masterful performance.

"You're a goddess, Sakura." His voice was a whisper, as he ran his fingers through her hair. "Don't stop. Please, don't stop."

"Sakura?" Was that Tsunade's voice?

"Kuso!"

Sakura jumped up, and with the strength for which she was known, pushed Kakashi into the corner, pulling the screen in front of him. She turned to leave the room, but not before noticing the neatly stacked pile of clothing he'd left on the window's deep sill. She pitched them into the corner, quickly smoothed down her hair, and entered her own office at the very same moment as her mentor. At least that's what it seemed like to Kakashi, crouched ingloriously in the corner.

"Why are you here so late on a Friday night? It's seven o'clock. Shouldn't you be out with friends?"

"I- I had a headache, so I lay down for a while. I guess I fell asleep."

That would explain the mussed hair, Kakashi thought. Nice save, Sakura.

"You're working too hard. As usual. Go home."

"I will. I have some things I need to finish first."

Tsunade made an unintelligible grunt. "Oh. By any chance did Hatake stop by?"

Kakashi could hear the vicious smile in her voice.

"A few hours ago. For a checkup."

"That explains the headache, then. Damn it."

Kakashi did his best to imagine the look of defeat on his leader's face.

"Don't stay too late." Kakashi heard the receding sound of the hokage's sandals as they clicked against the linoleum tiles of the hospital corridor. He quickly moved from his rather ignominious hiding place to a more suitable location to the left of the exam room's doorway.

Sakura didn't see Kakashi as she entered, but did immediately notice the displaced folding screen, as well as the absence of his clothes. Her shoulders slumped, as she stood still for a moment, her back to the open door and the waiting Sharingan user.

"Damn teleportation jutsu." She straightened up, then suddenly turned and bumped into the copy ninja's chest. He quickly embraced her, pulling her close into a drawn out and languid kiss. As they finally parted, he noted the rapid increase in her pulse and the dazed, otherworldly expression that graced her face.

"You really didn't think I would leave, did you?"

She nodded, then shook her head, apparently still confused.

He slowly slid open the zipper that adorned her cherry red shirt. "But I couldn't do that before you had your physical, could I?"