Jeannie-VS-Samantha

Written by Ra’Ay’Mond

Part six.

(Hind Sight.)

'Bewitched' and 'I Dream of Jeannie' are both owned by Sony home entertainment. I am making no profit from this work. However, I like many of the other viewers of both shows always wondered who would win in a magical battle between these two 60’s television icons. Enjoy.

As Jeannie franticly kicks and screams, only one thought goes through her head, Life sized troopers from the Nutcracker Suite! They look just like puppets! I hate puppets!

At first, she thought they were members of the little witch’s coven. However, once she looked at their technicolor painted skin. Massive red dotted blushed cheeks. Large dead doll eyes and hinged jaws that never quite moved in sync with what they were saying. She felt as if she were watching a foreign horror movie, that was duded very badly.

She has always hated toys that were made to appear human, yet were not. She never liked shadow puppets as a child. Nor did she like the puppet shows that other children seemed to love. They always reminded her of the dreams she used to have of the evil blue man.

In the dreams, this blue man would always chase her and try to hurt her. Then one day the dreams came true. T hat is when she first meets the Blue Djiin.

Once she replaces some of her fear with anger, she starts thinking of ways to dispose of these her two adversaries. I could blink them into the heart of an active volcano. Perhaps the one in Hawaii. Or, I can send them to the surface of the Sun. The heat would be so intense that it would continue to singe their tinted souls, even after their wooden bodies have burned away. Or, perhaps to the deepest, coldest, regions of outer space. A place so frigid that even their un-natural sprits will endlessly shiver from the frigidity.

As her mind begins to think ways to deal with her captives, she stops kicking and screaming long enough to think of the perfect solution to her current problem. She says, “Wait, life sized troopers! Soldiers! Gin-Gin!”

Right on cue. Gin-Gin, her toy terrier appears in front of her. As always, he blinks in standing up on his hind legs, ready to be picked up by his owner. He is happily barking at the thought of once again being held by Jeannie. Until he notices something that darkens his mood. Two soldiers, which are hurting his owner.

His happy bark quickly turns into a deep-throated growl that sounds as if it is coming from an angry Timber Wolf.

Even before Jeannie can give the order for him to attack, Gin-Gin springs into action. He leaps up and over Jeannie, becoming invisible on the downward arch of his jump. Jeannie feels a breeze brush pass her face as he sails by. Then she hears something that brings a grin to her face, and makes her blood run cold at the same time.

Gin-Gin begins mauling the giant toy soldier.

Although Jeannie cannot see the first part of his attack, she can hear the gory details.

It starts with Gin-Gin landing on, and gnawing at the face of the giant toy soldier that was holding Jeannie. Jeannie first hears the wooden face of the automaton crack and splinter under the magically enchanted jaws of her tiny terrier. Several seconds after that, she hears the unmistakable muffled growling sound of Gin-Gin’s jaws locking onto some other part of the soldiers body, and tearing it off.

Jeannie is suddenly released as she hears sound of the second soldier shouting a warring to his comrade that was holding her, “Beware old friend! This enchantress has summoned up an invisible hell-hound!” The giant toy soldier that was holding her fearfully replies, “I feel it. However, I cannot see it…Zounds! Now the enchantres's beast has me by the throat! Avenge me!

Jeannie turns around to see Gin-Gin’s handy work. She is soon sorry that did.

She is greeted to the sight and sound of the giant toy soldier’s head being ripped off of it’s body, and bouncing on the store floor twice before coming to a halt. Gin-Gin, still invisible, now seems to be in the process of biting off the soldier's left arm.

The soldiers head is still talking. It is calling out to its fellow soldier to help stop the demon dog. His head then screams to his now head-less body to retrieve it, and place it back on top of it’s torso.

The scene is almost enough to make Jeannie vomit. She places her hand on her stomach, and takes a deep breath. That seems to help, a little. Jeannie thinks that most of her puppet dreams were never this bad.

Before she is finished with that thought, the giant toy solider is now armless and legless.

Gin-Gin then runs over to the second giant soldier.

This one is a little more prepared for the Gin-Gin’s attack. He holds up his bayoneted rifle in a defensive manor while saying, “I shall run this dastardly beast through. Then, I shall shoot it dead, before it ravages me as it did my old friend.”

When Jeannie hears this she instantly blinks the reaming giant toy soldier’s weapon away, into her hands. Just in time for Gin-Gin to leap upon the second soldier, and tare it to splinters. Once the other giant toy soldier is in pieces, Gin-Gin howls more like wolf than dog.

Jeannie looks at the weapon that was recently pointed at her little dog. It is a wooden rifle. Armed with a cork in it's tip, connected to a string. It is just a toy. She doubts that this thing could hurt anyone. Maybe someone could get a nasty splinter if they were not careful. However, nothing serious.

Then Jeannie notices two things. The wooden arms, legs and other assorted disembodied parts of both soldiers appear to still be…alive. Some of these parts are still moving. Hands are slowly clawing their way across the floor. Legs and feet are trying to move a body that is no longer attached. The remains of two disembodied woodenheads moan ever so slightly to each other.

Jeannie feels sick again. She crosses her arms and blinks the soldier’s remains, and the toy rifle away.

The second thing that she notices is that the tiny toy bunny rabbits have all seemed to gone into hiding. The few that she can see are huddled together, shivering in fear. Apparently, they are frightened that she will have Gin-Gin attack them next.

As Gin-Gin becomes visible again, Jeannie leans over to pick him up and congratulate her champion. That is when one of the toy bunnie says, “Please don’t have your baby wolf eat us up. We’re not with those solders. We’re your friends. We love you! Pleaseee…don’t hurt us!”

Jeannie starts to blink the little toy bunnies away, like she did the toy soldiers remains. However, she cannot help but feel sad, and responsible for their current state of apprehension.

In her calmest voice she says, “There is no need to fear attack from my...baby-wolf as you called him. In fact, he his not a baby-wolf at all. He is a regular dog. His name is Gin-Gin. And the only reason he attacked those horrible puppet-soldiers is because they were holding me captive. If you truly are my friends, he will not harm you. I shall show you”

Jeannie then looks at Gin-Gin and says, “Gin-Gin. Show the toy bunnies that you are friendly.”

Gin-Gin looks up at Jeannie and barks twice, acknowledging her command. He then leaps form her arms, down to the little toy bunnies.

He lands right in front of the little toy rabbit that was speaking to Jeannie. He then licks the bunnie’s little fuzzy face. The toy bunnie is so over come with fear, it’s tiny legs start to wobble as it says, “Yikes” and passes out in fear.

As the little toy bunnie hits the floor, an exact copy of itself appears. It is also unconscious, and laying right next to it’s original.

Gin-Gin makes a funny sound at the sight of this multiplying effect. He then cautiously moves closer to the two, unconscious toy bunnies, and licks both their face’s.

This little show of canine affection has not gone unnoticed by the conscious little toy bunnies. One-by-one, they start to come out of their hiding places to watch Gin-Gin lovingly licking the two slumbering bunnies. And all at once they say, “Awwwh, he’s not a baby-wolf. He’s a nice-doggie.” And then as one, the little toy bunnies slowly move toward Gin-Gin, and start to gently pet him. Once the two sleeping bunnies wake-up, they also start to pet Gin-Gin. This gives Jeannie an idea.

She squats down near Gin-Gin's new best friends and asks them, “All of you have told me that you loved me. Did you really mean it?” At once, all of the bunnies quietly nod their little furry heads yes. Jeannie then tilts her head to the side, puts on her saddest face and says, “Then would you mind helping me find the other woman that is still awake in the store?”

One of the little bunnies stops petting Gin-Gin. It nervously hides it hands behind it back. It then takes a timid, baby step toward Jeannie and asks, “Your not going to hurt her? Are you?”

Jeannie responds, “No. No, I promise. I just want to take her to…meet some old friends of mine. Also, I want to make sure that she is not going to hurt me.” Jeannie then makes a sad face again and talks in her best little girl voice, “You don’t want her, or anyone else to hurt me? Do you?”

All of the little bunnies say, “No…no! We don’t want anything to happen to you.” Jeannie then slyly grins as she asks them, “And why is that?” The bunnies respond, “Because we love you…Hay! we love you, but we don’t even know your name.”

Jeannie replies, “You can call me Jeannie. So, will you help me?”

The little toy bunnie that first walked up to Jeannie turns toward the other bunnies, and they huddle together and quietly talk amongst them self’s. Several seconds later, that same bunnie turns back to Jeannie sand says, “OK! We’ll split-up, and find her for you. When one of us finds her, we’ll call you over. But, you have to promises not to hurt her.”

Jeannie crosses her heart and says, “Once again, I promise.” When she says that, all of the little bunnies split-up and go looking for Samantha.

Once the last of the toy bunnies has left, Jeannie says to herself, “Finally, a fortunate turn of events. With their help, I can end this useless game. And the both of us can get on with our lives again.”

As Jeannie pertinently waits for word from her army of little toy bunnies, she looks over her shoulder. She focuses on the spot where she last saw the giant toy soldier’s bodily remains, or what was left of them after Gin-Gin’s attack. She then unsuccessfully suppress a shiver as she says, “There is only one thing worse then puppets. And that is giant puppets, with guns!”

Loved it?

Hated it?

Please let me know.