Random trivia: I refuse to call Deidara Dei-Dei because it means BIG SISTER in Chinese! That's what my dad calls me sometimes!

I don't own the Akatsuki or Naruto or Sasuke, or Jason Voorhees or- gets hit with rock

Chapter 1: First Impressions

"AHH!! I'm sorry Itachi-San!! I didn't mean to!!" a young woman about sixteen suddenly ran out of Itachi's room shrieking and waving her arms. pause

This spaztastic little ninja is Ayame. She was found by Itachi and taken into the Akatsuki. Deidara couldn't resist her hyperactive nature. Tobi couldn’t resist the fact that she was clumsier than he; and Zetsu…well he just wanted to eat her. Leader wasn't sure about her. He didn't want her running off and telling everyone about the Akatsuki.

"Ayame-San, come here," said Leader after the Itachi incident. Ayame inched over and kept her eyes down.

"WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?! ALL I HEARD WAS ITACHI YELLING ABOUT SOMETHING--"

"Haaaah!! I didn't mean to! I tripped and knocked over the vase, and he got really mad and, well, you know me, I'm so very clumsy, SORRYY!!" Ayame let out a disturbing noise of pain and began to babble. Like an idiot. Deidara rounded a corner to see Leader looming over her.

"Aya-Chan! I was wondering where you got off to!" he said as he caught her by the wrist.

"Deidara-Sempai?" she asked as she moved her glasses. Tobi walked in suddenly.

"Sempai! Tobi thinks-"

"Enough! Ayame should come with me," he said. Ayame shot a desperate look at Deidara, who cringed.

Leader dragged her into his private quarters and glared.

"Well, let's see your profile…oh my."

"What?"

"You even admit that you are 'a no good, nothing special, clumsy catastrophic ninja of spaztasticness'. You have a mastery of most weapons, possess no known bloodline limit, can barely walk along a flat surface without finding something to trip over, and are a missing ninja. Why did he even let you become an UNDERLING?"

"I can cook and clean."

"Oh! That's right. We needed a cleaning girl. I was surprised that you come from the same village as Deidara," he said. Ayame fidgeted. She disliked how lowly everyone spoke of her, but put up with it so she could maintain her status- being alive.

"Quite frankly, I don't care how surprised you are about it. I'm only here because Itachi found me half dead on an embankment after he nailed me in the side with his stupid sword," she said with a flare of her temper. She regretted that immediately.

"You are lucky he saw something in you that I do not," said the leader coldly. Ayame inched away, nodding meekly.

"I'll try to avoid similar outbursts in the future, Leader-Sama," she said as she winced her way out the door.

"See that you do. Now go get Tobi."

Aww, isn't she having a lovely day? sarcasm

Please forgive any grammatical or spelling mistakes.

Review, please, and I ask that you not flame this.