One upon a time, Link was standing outside the forest temple. But this time, things were much different. This time, everything had much nicer graphics and his shadow was constantly mocking him and shouting orders at him. Also, this was a different Link many, many years in the future. Want to know why? Because KennySheep just got himself a Wii! Yay! Wootz! Life finally has meaning! Oh what a time to be alive…

Anywhoo, ya, this is Twilight Princess. Just wanted to make that clear.

(God I love my wii!)

You know what, let’s start over. It’s too easy to be sidetracked by a love of wii.

Let’s just call all of the above authors notes and leave it at that. Well we’re at it, I do not own Zelda.

Once upon a time, Link was standing outside the forest temple (as has already been established), but this time, something (still) was different. Last time, all that had been guarding the bridge to the temple was a couple stupid goblin thingies. He had managed to beat them both to death with a pointy piece of wood in about 3 seconds. This time, there was some sort of ghost-wolf thing blocking the path. Link, being the brave hero type person that he is, just rushed at it without thinking at all about strategy or caution or how useless a sword would be against ghost anyways.

Although even if he had of thought that one through, he still probably wouldn’t have expected to have fallen into some giant, mostly empty void with nothing in it but white fog and one ghost-wolf.

Link wasn’t sure what to do about all this. He had, after all, never had to deal with mostly empty voids before. Luckily, he pretty quickly noticed the wolf and prepared to do what he did best, CUT UP EVERYTHING IN HIS WAY!!

Link charged the wolf, but before he got there it changed. Suddenly, it was a lot bigger. It became much more bipedal, to. Also, the sudden addition of armour and a sword was pretty different. If Link had of known better, he would have sworn he was looking at an un-dead version of Ganon. Of course, Link didn’t know better because this particular reincarnation had never fought Ganon. Still, that was the basic look of the thing he was now with in the giant, mostly empty and fogy void.

Despite his foe being a lot more menacing now, Link was trying his best to be a great hero, just like Link before him and Link before that (Hyrule needs to find new names for it’s heroes or something), so he didn’t change his plan in the slightest. He just ran up and tried to do his lunging attack. Needless to say, he failed miserably. The Ganonish monster just bashed him away as Link tried to jump.

“Fool, you cannot harm me! The blade is nothing without courage!” The skeletal wizard thing said to Link. Link may have been on the ground and in a lot of pain, but that didn’t stop him from arguing an unjust taunt.

“What are you talking about? I just jumped head first at guy with a sword twice my size! That takes plenty of courage!” Link shouted at his attacker as he got up off the floor.

“Oh well, you still suck at fighting. All the other Links must be rolling in their graves knowing you are replacing them!” The skeleton monster responded. ”Luckily for you, I’m willing to train you in crazy, secret techniques that will let you make them all proud and kill things really, really fast!”

Link was intrigued by this. It would be nice to kill things faster. Sure, he was yet to have a battle that went longer than 30 seconds, but he always felt that that just wasn’t fast enough (possibly a side effect from being a reincarnation of the guy who fought Majora’s Mask and ended up getting the earth destroyed every time he fell behind schedule).

“Ok, the first secret technique I shall teach you is how to stab an opponent when they are already down” The skeleton said.

Link was almost struck dumb by this.

“Um… didn’t you start this by saying I needed to be more courageous?”

“Yes.”

“And now you’re teaching me how to stab people when they are down?”

“Yes”

“And when they really aren’t any of a threat anymore?”

“They would be a threat if they got back up.”

“True…”

“Exactly!”

Link was silent for another moment.

“So, you still want me to have courage, but you also want me to stab people when they are defenceless, which is one of the most underhanded techniques known to man?”

“Pretty much.”

“And you don’t see anything ironic about this at all?”

“Nope”

“Fine, teach me your stupid technique.” Link muttered. It wasn’t doing him any good talking to the skeleton and he wanted to get out of that void to somewhere a little more colourful.

“Ok then!” The skeleton said, sounding much happier now that he had a slightly more willing student. “To stab an opponent who is on the ground, first you find an opponent”

“Ok” Link said, nodding.

“Then you knock them down somehow” Continued the skeleton.

“Alright” Link said, still nodding.

“Then you stab them!” The skeleton finished.

“And I’m meant to do all of this courageously?” Link asked.

“Exactly!” The Skeleton replied.

“Is this really all you have to tell me?”

“Nope! I still have 5 more super secret, crazy techniques to teach you, but I’m not going to tell them to you right now. Bye!” The skeleton said as the hazy void world disappeared and Link found himself back in a forest.

“Hey, Midna?” Link spoke to his shadow.

“Yes?” his shadow answered.

“If you stab a guy who’s on the ground and can just barely move, are you courageous?”

“Um, no. I guess it’s a good idea for killing stuff, but you’re still a total dick for doing it. Why do you ask?”

“Oh, no reason” Link replied.

The End? Probably…

More author’s notes: I LOVE THE WII! I LOVE THE WII! I LOVE THE WII! I LOVE THE WII! I LOVE THE WII! I LOVE THE WII! I LOVE THE WII! I LOVE THE WII! I LOVE THE WII! I LOVE THE WII! I LOVE THE WII! I LOVE THE WII! I LOVE THE WII! I LOVE THE WII!! Ok, now that we have that out of the way, on to notes about stuff. Any form of review is encouraged, so flamers go ahead and do your thing. Or not, just reviews of any sort give me the attention I so desperately need. This story may get more chapters if I can think of anything else to say about anything else that skeleton teaches you. This idea just sort of showed up when he was doing the training, so I had to write it. It’s so hard to get any sort of inspiration to write these days. I’ll admit a combination of video games, caffeine and a lack of sleep can work wonders for your muse, but people keep expecting me to get up early. That tends to involve sleeping at some point, completely killing the process. Well, that’s it from me for now. I hope this made sense, because frankly it is hard to tell when you have been up late enough that you start hearing voices.