This is basically me testing out a new format and expounding a bit of dialogue that came to me unbidden the other day. It's also dedicated to a friend of mine, Chess, the reason of which she knows. :-)

The Problem With Apologising

“I’m sorry.”

“Right. Good.”

“No, really, I am. Really, very sorry.”

“Is now the best time?”

“Well, no, I suppose not. But still… Sorry.”

“Okay! Got it. You’re sorry.”

“Good. Brilliant. I wanted you to know. S’important really.”

“Doctor can you just shut up and help me get us out of this?!”

“Right, yes! Sorry – I mean, not sorry. I mean, I am sorry; sorry for getting us into this but not sorry-“

“Doctor!”

“Right!”

“… Is that really going to work?”

“Of course! Sonic screwdriver’s never failed me – apart from that one time, but Peru is a hot planet, got all sand in the workings. Should have been more careful really. Not that you can be; you’d think a suit would provide plenty of protection…”

“As fascinating as this is, the lava is getting closer and your screwdriver seems to be underperforming!”

“Hey, hey, hey! There’s no need for that kind of talk! Besides, it’s got to be working faster than your hairclip. Honestly, humans.”

“Is now really the time to be getting speciest?”

“Well, if you’re going to insult the screwdriver…”

“Sorry. But Doctor…. is it really going to work?”

“Of course! Best thing for getting through Haxlon restraints, short of an electro-magnetic pulse. The trick is breaking free in time. Given the time I started, ooo, I dunno… We should make it.”

“Should!? Urgh! If you hadn’t spent all of your time apologising we’d be free by now!”

“No, I don’t think so… still would have taken us another few minutes. Gotta get the calibrations at all the right settings. Still, for what it’s worth I am sorry.”

“I know. I just forget what you’re sorry for at any given time.”

“Well that’s a bit unfair! How was I supposed to know the Haxlons had banned the use of leather?”

“A nice holiday resort, you said! Ideal for tourists across the universe, you said… I swear if we get out of this I’m going to kill you.”

“Yes, well, the possibility of getting out of it is getting slimmer…”

“What did you say?!”

“Erm, that we should be out of here in a jiffy! Seriously, no need to continue with your hairclip, the screwdriver will take care of the problem.”

“Since the soles of my shoes are melting I think I’d rather keep at it, thanks.”

“Alright, fair enough. Won’t work you know.”

“So far it’s not doing any worse than your screwdriver.”

“That Martha is because- Ah.”

“Ah? It’s because of ‘ah’. Fantastic. As far as alien explanations go that’s very enlightening.”

“No, ‘ah’ because the screwdriver’s battery appears to be, erm… dead. I didn’t charge it before we left. Didn’t think I’d need to really…”

“What? The screwdrivers battery is dead? Doctor, how many times have we gone to visit some planet you’ve promised me is spectacular and needed the screwdriver to get us out of similar situations? How can you not think you’d need it?!”

“So you admit it’s useful then!”

“So not the time!”

“Right. Sorry.”

“Don’t start again.”

“No really I am. I should have checked all the rules and laws before I bought you here. I should have but I didn’t. Seems to be a habit of mine. Have to fix that next regeneration – which is looking to be increasingly sooner than I’d like.”

“Jeopardy friendly, that’s your problem.”

“Y’know it’s funny you should mention that- Wait, wait! What are you doing?”

“Whats it look like? I’m getting free, that’s what!”

“But, but, how on Earth – or, Haxor I suppose – did you manage that?”

“I really don’t have the time to brag or rub it in your face, but next time; trust the hairclip!”

“A hairclip? My screwdriver shown up by a hair clip… Now that’s just embarrassing.”

“Doctor will you move! You can mourn the screwdriver’s impotence later, right now I’d rather not be burnt alive.”

“Impotence?! Well in all my years of companions, I’ve never….”

“Doctor! Just shut it and keep running!”

“Well, I still say they couldn’t have been Haxlon restraints. Must be cutting back.”

“Not quite what I was after. I was thinking more a long the lines of: ‘Martha, you are an excellent companion. I couldn’t have escaped without you and your ingenious use of the hairclip, which although I demeaned, I realise is quite superior to my screwdriver.’”

“Well, I suppose. Yes, okay, you were quite brilliant back there…. Thank you.”

“Anytime.”

“Now about my screwdriver…”

“Doctor!”

“Right. Sorry.”