This little ficlet is something I though about and had to write; it’s basically meant to be Ron and Lavender’s first kiss from their respective points of view.

Edit: 02/08/07 - I've gone back and edited this, adding bits I've thought of since and removing bits I don't think work properly.

Ron is in bold

Lavender is in italics.

Hermione is bold, italicised AND underlined

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

OhGodOhGodOhGodOhGod what the hell do I do now? Great move Ron, couldn’t you’ve found a more public place for your first kiss?

Oh my god it’s finally happening! And everyone’s watching, it’s just like I imagined…I knew all I had to do was corner him at the right moment…mmmmmmm

Okay calm down...breathe...stop worrying...Oh no, am I using my tongue enough? Are you supposed to do that?? But if I do that what do I do with it?? Ok, here goes….

Jesus, he’s got a long tongue….can’t….breathe…can’t…breathe…

Oh CRAP, choking noises can’t be good…remove tongue, remove tongue! Oh God, oh God, she probably thinks I’m really awful…why do my teeth keep getting in the way?? What the hell are you supposed to do with your tee- oh no - biting her probably isn’t sexy…hang on…she’s not stopping…she liked it?!

Wow…he’s doing the lip-biting like the magazine says…he must really like me…oh damn, what else did it say? Think think think….oh that was it, the seductive noises…

What the hell is that purring sound? God, that’s all I need, bloody Crookshanks! Stupid bloody cat, always – oh my god, it’s Lavender! Is that normal? Are girls meant to purr when you kiss them? Is that a good sign?

What was the next bit?? “Run your hands lightly down his back and pull him close”…was that it??

OW! Ow, ow, not sexy, definitely not sexy. Why is she digging her fingers into my back?! First the purring, now this - is this girl actually a cat?!

He seemed to like that…gasping’s a good sign, right? Maybe I did it wrong...I'll just try it one more time…

OwOwOwOwOW! Maybe she’ll stop if I put my hands on her instead…but where?! What the hell do I do with my hands?! Think, think, think...didn't Fred say girls like it if you hold their face when you kiss them...OK…here goes…

What the hell is he doing?

Note to self – Fred must have meant her cheeks, not her chin…

That’s better…no – wait – OW!

Extra note to self – Lavender does not like it when I squeeze her face…oh help, what do I do now?

Why is he holding his hands to his sides like an idiot? Maybe he doesn’t like me…but he’s got some kind of twitchy nervous movement going on…

Where do I put my hands?! Not the bum, I’ll just look pervy…so where? Her boobs? Shut up brain!! Oh no, oh no, her boobs are in my head now, what do I do??

Are they meant to twitch their hands about when they’re on your hips? Is that a good sign?? I’m reading that article again before bed…he’s looking down at me though…does that mean he likes me, or is it just ‘cause he’s tall?

Mustn’t touch, mustn’t touch, mustn’t touch – people are watching…oh crap, is Hermione here?? Oh no, what have I done? She’ll hate me now…

I hope Hermione Granger is here…makes a nice change for another girl to be within three feet of Ron for once…

Oh god, people are still looking…Hermione must be here…maybe there’s an empty classroom somewhere…

Oh this has to be a good sign…finding somewhere private…mmmmm...the magazine never said anything about that...

Oh dear God…someone actually hates me up there…what are the chances that the first classroom I pick has Hermione in it?!

Oh great. What are the chances of the ONE empty classroom I pick being the one THEY have to choose?

Oops! Oh this couldn’t have been more perfect!

WHY? What did I ever do wrong to deserve this? WHY now?

Why hasn't he noticed my death stares yet? He used to be so good at that...

Why is Ron just gawping at her? He's supposed to be looking at ME, I'M the one he chose, not HER...

Why hasn't Lavender noticed her lipstick's all smudged...or that most of it seems to be on Ron's nose?

Why is Lavender still here?! How have the looks of death not killed her?

Why is she looking at me with that stupid smile on her face? I'm glad your bunny died, little girl...

Ouch at the death stares...is she muttering something at me?

I...Hate...You...

Better go find Parvati...wait til she hears about this!

Oh thank God she's gone, maybe we can talk now...Oh God, why is her face screwed up like that? She's either really angry or she's concentrating on something...is she trying not to cry?

Oh, you're going to pay, Ronald Weasley...now what was that spell again, what was it??

Maybe if we talk no one needs to get hurt...but what would I say to her - OW!!

So THAT'S what that spell does...

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Again, I'm going to add to this, it's kind of a work in progress, but for now it's finished, until I think of more to add to it.