Kryptonite

THIS CHAPTER HAS THE STRONGEST T RATING.

Part Nine

They were a bed upstairs tangled up in black satin sheets, in the same room she slept in the night before, when Sonny slid inside of her. She made sure to keep her eyes opened and on him.

Alexis had to see the look in his eye when they came together, it was the last bit of proof she needed.

His eyes held all of his heart. They were the most exposed she had ever seen him. He held nothing back.

It was beautiful to see how he cherished her. It was a surprise, and something she always longed to be able to have from him.

His mouth found hers in a kiss that was opened mouth and needy, but not all desperate, not unsure, not rushed. It was just an admission of how he craved her- now, then, always.

She arched her hips, needing more and more of him, of this, of knowing he wanted her this way. It had never been like this with any other man. She only knew how to make love to one man- Sonny, the one who had her heart for so long she had nearly forgotten what it was like to not be in love with him.

XXXXXXX

He held her in his arms, stroking his hand over her hair to smooth it down. Sonny’s eyes settled on a spot on the door of the room. He wondered if she would leave him soon. If this would end quickly again.

How could I get through that? he wondered.

All his fears about being consumed by a blackness he couldn’t escape started to creep into his mind. He didn’t want to let anything like that intrude on this moment, but his mind was bombarding him with thoughts about how she would find him unworthy of loving. Of how he would screw up somehow and one day let her down again.

(Be careful what you wish for,
cause you just might get it all.

You just might get it all,
and then some you don't want.

Be careful what you wish for,
cause you just might get it all.

You just might get it all, yeah.) ( Daughty)

XXXXXXXX

Alexis felt his body tense. She looked up. “Sonny?”

“Shh. It’s okay. Sleep.”

“I’m not even remotely tired. Talk to me...are you...having second thoughts?”

“No, no, no,” he kissed her quickly. “It’s nothing like that.”

“What is it?” she asked softly.

When Sonny didn’t answer, Alexis nodded her head once, as the realization hit her. “Do you know why I missed this so much?”

“I didn’t even know you missed this at all.”

“I did, Sonny...I missed you- actively, in a way I could feel, in a pain that held onto my heart and my bones- for every hour of the day at first and even lately in a quieter way...in a way that had settled into me. I thought I’d always have to miss you. The reason I think it hurt like that...to that degree...to a level that is beyond making sense...it is because only you understand all of me..and when you didn’t want that it was brutal enough on me to make me not want to go on...

“Except I always go on, so I did. And, thankfully, I had our baby to live for...but I never changed my mind about you. You do understand me in a way no one else can. I don’t want anyone else to, it would be too much with anyone but you. That’s a lot to put on you, I know, but you can handle it. I know you can. I believe in you...that’s why I’m here, why I like being here with you, and why...I was always,” she repeated what she said earlier “sorta planning to stay here anyway. Being in your life in whatever way you let me.”

She watched his features relax.

Sonny murmured, “I love you. Do you know that?” He kissed her again.

Warmth flooded her body and she silently yelled He loves me!

XXXXXXXXXXX

Sonny didn’t base his life on luck. He didn’t go for stuff like karma or fate. He believed in retribution from God, and he believed every person had to pay for their sins in the end.

He felt he had been paying for years and didn’t expect to ever stop. But here Alexis was...letting him make love to her again...letting him slide inside of her another time and come back home...opening her heart and soul and body to him. Alexis was beyond what he ever thought he deserved.

If he had ever gotten a lucky break, it was the day she became his lawyer. If he ever believed in soulmates, it was now as she wrapped her legs around him, drawing him in deeper.

Alexis whispered into his ear, “Your love saved my life.”

He didn’t ask how, yet he believed she was telling the truth. Her loving him was saving him from himself, from his doubts, from his own fears and her love was taking him further and further from the blackness.

Her words wrapped around his heart, and made him finally feel whole, as her nails dug into his back and begged him to move deeper within her.

(I've not always been the best man or friend for you
but your love remains true

And I don't know why
you always seem to give me another try .)

Sonny couldn’t say he believed himself good enough for Alexis. All his sins were soaked in blood that would never come off his hands, but he vowed to himself that he would keep pushing back his own darkness and insecurities so he could be who she needed, who she was always wanted, who Alexis was proud to love.

The way she was looking at him now- with so much devotion and trust- changed everything he saw for his future. He slowly smiled as her eyes drifted close and she started to moan and then repeat his name over and over.

He wanted to spend every night for the rest of his life making love to this woman, making her believe how much he desired her, making their life together everything she ever dreamt about.

Alexis cried, “Yes, yes, don’t stop...ohh...God, yes, I need this...I need you, Sonny.”

He could feel her tightening around him, which sent him shooting over the edge and they came together.

When she was resting in his arms later, Alexis looked deep into his eyes for a long moment. Her words were teary as she whispered, “I love you, too.”

Sonny smiled, but it was shaky.

“Don’t doubt me,” she said

“I don’t.”

“Don’t doubt you, then.”

He nodded.

Alexis said “I love you so damn much. I will make you see that and I will not let you give up on us again. You convinced me...its us...I know it is. I’m fighting this time.”

He buried his head in the crook of her neck, as the tears started to fall. She just kept whispering her love into his ear, and she promised herself she would keep doing that for the rest of their life, and never let him think he wasn’t everything she ever wanted or needed or hoped for.

Alexis only came to his house the day before to give Sonny a piece of her mind, but instead she was grateful to now be able to tell him he had all of her heart, and had for years and years, and would for years and years, for all the rest of time.Without a doubt.

(So I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
and where your love has always been enough for me.

I'm not running from
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me...

So I'm going home.
I'm going home.)

THE END

Note- Yep, I am good and hooked on these two. Thank you to anyone who took the time to read this story. I am still a novice at writing Sexis so I hope I did them justice. Looking forward to reading more Sexis fanfics by other writers, because each one only makes me more and more intrigued by this pairing.

Thanks for reading,

Sara