The explanation for this story:

Ok- I have been surfing through and I gotta say, the amount of stuff popping up written in Edward's POV is absolutely staggering, Though not much of it is accurate- to how I see him at least. They just don't give him enough… what's the word..? Depth, I guess that fits.

Well, eventually I realized that I couldn't keep sitting around complaining about other people's Edward, when I haven't made any attempt to write a story from the Edward I see when I read Twilight and New Moon. Talk about hypocritical, right?

So here it is, my take on Edward, what I think he thinks and feels during random moments in Twilight and New Moon. Lets be clear on one thing though, I AM NOT RE-WRITNG NEW MOON OR TWILIGHT FROM EDWARD'S POV—You see- Stephanie Meyer is already doing that, (At last for Twilight) and I would feel stupid to copy something that actual author- of all people- is already doing. So enjoy this for what it is meant to be; an opportunity to see another fan's idea of what Edward is like 'behind the face'.

I don't know about you people, but I find that to be disclaimer enough.

A/N: Oh yes, This story is set in the uncertain days directly after Edward saves Bella from Tyler's van under impossible circumstances, but before he realizes she won't tell on him for doing it. So basically, it's his look on what happened after the almost-accident.

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This is terrible.

I normally think things through better than this. Carlisle and Esme know this- that's why they trust me so much, Emmett knows it, that's why he calls me an old man with no life. Everybody who knows me knows that I think every thing though thoroughly- or perhaps too thoroughly… It's just a reflex; my brain is naturally over-productive.

And right now I have a real problem to mull over.

"Cullen's staring off into space again- why can't he just pay attention? Or at least pretend to for cryin' out loud. This kid can't know everything, not matter how much he thinks he does." My Spanish teacher, probably the only woman in the school who feels nothing for her 'younger' student; I might like her but for the fact she is trying to teach me a language I already know. And the tiny detail that she thinks I am a good-for-nothing know-it-all who never pays any attention in her class.

"Oh my gosh he's gorgeous!" A human girl- I believe her name to be Hannah…

"I bet he'll never date. He's probably totally prude too." One of my rejected admirers, Jenny Conners or Colt or something, she is still rather bitter.

"Oh so cute- so perfect… how come he can't like me?" Yet another human girl - I didn't know, or care who this time, after all, they were all the same.

I frowned, well… Maybe not all…

"I wonder how he speaks so well?" A boy's thoughts cut through mine- thats one of the problems with haveing a mind thats publically accessible. His name was Chris- he sat three rows down, I believe… He must still be thinking about the oral exam I just aced. "I'll bet he got an 'A' again." As I thought- humans are so predictable.

"He's not even looking at the board, how's he writing it down?" That was the boy who sat behind me; Adam Jeshoph. I knew his 'voice' well; he thought almost as much as I did. But his mind was fairly shallow, it was only his hyperactivity that gave him the impression of a full head.

He was a basketball player, that much I knew from his thoughts, and he normally seethed silently at me for my apparent mastery of all things school—I wondered briefly how he would react of he knew I was currently taking the notes directly form his tiny sports-filled mind.

No- I needed to focus… It was counter-productive to let my mind wander- I needed discipline, right now of all times. I need to think clearly on this the most pressing problem I've been up against in years. I needed to be 'at the top of my game' so to speak, if I was going to tackle this monstrous issue.

Isabella Swan.

'She knows!' My mind cried, anguished at the name. 'She knows and she'll tell someone!' I could have kicked my self. Not in years has there been such a threat to my family and our fragile existence. Actually- not ever, I was normally so much more careful, more practiced. I never should have let this girl know so much- 'I never should have saved her.' The monster cackled in agreement at my dark thougts, and I cringed.

No- I didn't believe that. I don't regret saving her- Carlisle had left enough of an impression on me that I could not truly regret saving an innocent human life. I regret the way I saved her. I scolded myself. I should have done better in the situation- I shouldn't have been so obvious about my abilities.

"No-Crowley should have paid better attention in Drivers Ed." An annoyed voice grumbled in the back of my head. I almost smiled, almost. Sometimes I enjoyed that little voice, not the monster against which I fought so hard, but the sarcastic little part of my mind that would forever be Edward Masen, a witty seventeen-year-old from Chicago, 1918…

No Edward. Focus.

Forcing my hardly-remembered past from my mind- for now- I focused on the student body of today. As much as I didn't want to, I needed to find Jessica Stanley. She was usually with Bella during the day and she liked to talk, if Bella was going to tell someone my secret, Jessica would be high on the list.

I found her 'voice' with relatively little trouble and listened intently.

"OH JEEZE...TY-" I almost flinched, but controlled the reflex, and tuned her down; I was listening a little too intently apparently: Stanley's petty thoughts were shouting in my head. It was absolutely mind numbing, not to mention migraine inducing.

"… Tyler must feel really bad about the accident… He's been following Bella around all day." I suppressed the monster inside me as it growled in objection to the thought, wishing I could figure out what about insignificant Tyler Crowley was aggravating it- I couldn't even smell him! "Its so not fair! Why does she get all the guys! She's not even pretty- why does Mike like her? And now Tyler."

Naturally, she was only thinking about boys. It had only been a few days, but I knew by now that her thoughts normally turned sharp when boys and Bella mixed.

"Ugh- She's not even pretty! Its so not fair!"

Stanley's thoughts were troubling me, and even worse, I couldn't figure out why—I let her fade into the constant babble of background noise and picked out another of Bella Swan's admires. Mike Newton.

"I wonder how Bella's feeling after that thing with Tyler?Damn that Cullen- Acting like some kind of hero." I stiffened, this was what I had been dreading. "She's been putting it all on Cullen"- So she had told! Icy dread flitted through me-"But I didn't see him next to her, nobody did… but she keeps insisting…"

I was surprised she had obeyed my confusing, vague command. More then surprised, I was shocked- and I didn't believe it. I let Mike slip from my grasp and searched for Angela Weber, Bella's next most likely candidate to tell of her bizarre secret: Angela was naturally an easy person to talk to.

"Hmm… Man, Why do I always have so much homework? And mom and I were going to paint the doghouse tonight... Oh well, I guess my poor puppy'll have to wait."

No luck- or maybe it was luck? Angela either didn't know anything, or it wasn't important to her. If painting a doghouse took priority over another student's possible super-human abilities, I wasn't too worried about her knowing.

"Oh jeeze, poor Bella- Mike's all over her. She can't like that." And now that I know she doesn't think I'm some kind of freak, I get a chance to enjoy the change; it is very refreshing to have someone who thought nice things around every once in a while. But I found the natural sweetness hard to stomach today; the manner of her thoughts angered me.

'Oh ugh- he can't really think she's into him- can he? I'd better go save Bella, she needs to get back to class anyway- nobody can be at a water fountain that long- her teacher will think she planned to get of class to talk to someone."

I found myself wishing Angela would tell Mike that Bella had no interest in him- though I knew that was not in her character.

In an effort to distract myself, I spent the next few minutes combing through everyone who had talked to Bella Swan between the narrowly avoided accident and now. It was a fairly long list; most of the school had mobbed her and demanded an explanation shortly after her arriving at school today- they all wanted a first-hand account. I made a wed of sorts- starting with Mike's mind, I waited until he thought of someone who had been with him when he asked Bella for the story, then I leapfrogged to that human, checked, and waited again. It was an efficient but agonizing process, and by the end of the day, I was so bored that if I didn't know better, I'd say I was asleep.

But as I said, it was efficient. By the end of the day I knew enough to know that impossibly, amazingly, and for no real reason, Isabella Swan was keeping her promise to me, the secretive, aggravating stranger who had saved her life.

She hadn't said a word.

But why! My mind howled, the intensity of my frustration and curiosity was almost as strong as my thirst at this point. Did she feel she owed me something for saving her? She couldn't actually believe me- why would she lie for me? She had said herself that she had no reason to, and I certainly hadn't given her one- had I?

Gah! Being uncertain of myself was not something I accepted easily. I would find out why she was keeping her word, I would unravel the secret's of her mind, and I would get over this bizarre fascination I felt for her. And then I would wash my hands of the girl.

Bella Swan did. Not. Matter. Not to me. Not now, not ever.

Now why can't I make my whole self believe that?

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A/N: Haha! Done! Well this is only chapter one, but still, its done. I don't like the ending as well but I like the characterization… I find Edward rather enjoyably to write for- he's complex, but he's kinda' funny I think. And his vocabulary is big! I'll bet I don't know as many words as him, and I know a lot of words! Any who, Chapter two will be up in a few days, like I said, Edward is actually pretty easy: Once I get started, I just can't stop!

So read, review, and enjoy!

L. M. Out