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The Ketchup Series
Title: First Word
Genre: General/Light Humor
Rating: K/K+
Characters: Aizen, Ulquiorra, mentions others
Summary: Aizen reminisces on the past and remembers what his "children's" first words were.
AN: This story is the first part in what I like to call the ketchup series. It's basically a bunch of drabbles that does not follow the main plotline whatsoever, so instead of being created, er, well, in "adult form", the newly created arrancars would be, to put it roughly, babies—er, toddlers...children? This is just pure crack and Ulquiorra's behavior shall be child-like. XD
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.
First Words
Aizen leaned against his throne and twirled a strand of brown hair around his finger. It was, to say the least, very boring. Gin and Tousen were outside in Hueco Mundo, watching over Grimmjow, D-Roy, Szayel, and Grantz while they played.
His youngest son, Ulquiorra, was somewhere in the wide expanses of Las Noches—most likely in the kitchen, making another one of his favorite omelets with the help of Yami.
Speaking of his children, Aizen smiled fondly as he started to reminisce on the past. the first thing to come to mind were their births.
Ulquiorra had been the quietest one of them all; he was the only one who didn't break out into questions. Yami had started asking repeatedly for a pet puppy while Grantz and Szayel started asking him random and pointless questions, completing each other's phrases like twins. Then again, Szayel was only younger by several minutes.
D-Roy had burst into tears which started the domino effect of cries that only ended after Shawlong, Aizen's oldest son, came in with ice cream. Grimmjow had thrown his bowl of ice cream at him for getting him chocolate ice cream instead of vanilla.
Grimmjow; the ruler of Las Noches did not even want to think about what Grimmjow first did when he came into being. Aizen shuddered at the thought. He did not want to relive that episode ever again.
Next Aizen remembered exactly in order of when they had learned how to walk. Shawlong had been first, of course, followed by the twins Grantz and Szael. Grimmjow and Noitora had been competing to see who would learn how to walk first which ended in Grimmjow winning and bragging about it for weeks.
Aizen had gotten a huge headache and punished him by locking him up in a room with Grantz and Szayel for a week. When Grimmjow came out, he made all attempts to keep away from them for six whole months. What they did to make Grimmjow that afraid of them he did not want to find out. Even to this day Grimmjow was still wary of them.
Ulquiorra had been last to learn how to walk, but then again, he was the youngest, so that was understandable. He had learned the fastest out of all of them. His feat had earned him a bone crushing hug from his father-mother figure and had gotten rained on by tears of joy, much to the arrancar-child's displeasure. Added to it was the jealousy of all of his older brothers and sisters as well as gaining him a very overprotective parent.
Then Aizen's memories jumped to when his children had learned their first words. Aizen had made sure that he, Gin, and Tousen teach his children words of destruction, or so how he put it. Unfortunately, the teaching didn't go quite as planned.
Shawlong's first word was maim, gaining him a hug. That was Aizen's only success. Yami had learned the word food while D-Roy's first word was bottle. Noitora had learned the word sex.
Aizen was sure that Gin was responsible for corrupting his child's mind at an early age and made a mental note to himself to never let Gin try to teach any of his children again.
Stark learned the word sleep and had acted on that impulse. Still to this day his son was as lazy as ever. Grimmjow had learned a cuss word, though from whom he wasn't sure. Now two of his children's minds were corrupted.
Grantz and Szayel both learned the word, 'supercalifragilisticexpialidocious' (most likely from the Marry Poppins movie Gin had bought) and kept chanting the word, and sometimes even song, over and over until Tousen threatened to not give them their daily ice cream.
But what had surprised him most was Ulquiorra's first word. It wasn't a mind corrupting word, or so he had thought. It wasn't a bad word or a word with bad intentions. They hadn't even ever mentioned the word, or at least that was what he thought. No, Ulquiorra's first word wasn't a word of destruction or killing. It wasn't even a word of what Aizen deemed as mind corrupting. Nope. Ulquiorra's first word was the name of a condiment. His first word was ketchup.
When he first said it, Ulquiorra was holding a bottle of ketchup protectively in his arms. An omelet smothered in ketchup was right beside him and there was a corn dog smothered in ketchup held in his tiny clutches. There were smudges of ketchup on his face, though luckily his outfit was spotless.
From then on, Aizen had seen Ulquiorra carry around a bottle of ketchup wherever he went. It also became a habit of Ulquiorra's to smother his omelets in ketchup...
The door of the throne room opened and a small arrancar-child ran into the room, his big green eyes reflecting worry and clutching a bottle of ketchup tightly to his chest.
Aizen smiled. Well speak of the devil. "Ulquiorra, do you need anything?" he asked warmly.
"Otou-san," the boy replied in a soft voice. "Can you open this bottle for me? Yami screwed on the cap too tight and now he won't open it for me."
Aizen laughed and opened the bottle of ketchup for his son. Yes, Ulquiorra still loved ketchup more than ever.
"Ne, otou-san, what does –Censored- mean?"
Aizen's eye twitched. "Where did you learn that word?" he asked through clenched teeth, his hands balling into fists.
"Gin-oji-san taught me."
Aizen's eye twitched even more as he leapt off his seat and stormed off to find said uncle. "GIN! WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT USING THAT LANGUAGE AROUND MY KIDS?!"
Ulquiorra stared at his father and cocked his head in confusion. He wondered why his father was ranting about Gin-oji-san being a bad influence. Then he shrugged and skipped back to the kitchen. Hey, he had an omelet waiting.
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