Intended to be about Nadia from Doyle's POV, but since there's no names it could really be anyone you want. Just a random, angsty little oneshot/drabble for the incredibly impatient shadowsakura321, just to hold her over until I get on to bigger and better stories. ;-D

Don’t tell me you understand. Look at me – who do you see? With the way you’ve treated me, the person you see definitely isn’t who I really am.

When you look at me, do you see the hardened soldier? Do you see the ruthless fighter? Do you see the person who wouldn’t think twice about killing someone? No, you see me differently. You see the broken spirit, the man who once had it all, the man tainted by death and bitterness. But is it for you to tell which side is real? Do I even know myself?

I can tell that you feel something – I can see it in your eyes and how they soften whenever I look over at you. It’s as if you break down and stop pretending to be so unwaveringly courageous, even for just the split second I let myself hold your gaze. Even at your weakest you’re still one of the strongest people here. I don’t know why you think you can relate to me, because there’s no possible way that you could identify with someone like me. Even if I wanted to, I can’t allow myself to get attached. I’ve managed to avoid any involvement so far and I don’t see why this should be any different – with the kind of job I have, relationships hardly ever last, and even if they do it’s too dangerous. For both of us.

You hide under a shell of strength. I hide under a shell of callousness. Let’s just stay in the safety of our shells and forget we ever had a chance. Not that we did, because we certainly didn’t.

I’ve done things that would send shivers up your spine before I even got into details. If you knew about some of what I’ve done, you’d probably never want to be anywhere near me again. I wouldn’t blame you.

You don’t know who I am. You don’t know what I’ve been through. So stop looking at me like that, and don’t tell me you understand.