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Final Moments

When Teddy is born, Remus thinks he might burst with happiness. When he first holds his son, he’s completely and utterly lost. The clear blue eyes stare up into his and the dark, still wet, locks of hair are slowly turning ginger if Remus is seeing things right. The small bundle grabs his finger with surprising strength and Remus stares at the tiny fingers curled around his larger one.

He’s cradling his newborn son in the crook of his right arm, his left arm softly stroking the baby soft skin as well as he can, because Teddy is still holding tight to his one finger.

Remus remembers what James was like when Harry was born, how he stared at the small baby boy, how he couldn’t seem to bare it when he had to hand over his son to the nurse from St. Mungo’s. He remembers the unbridled joy on James’ face, the unconditional love radiating from his very being when he held his son in his arms. He can remember Lily smiling softly, in this omniscient way that always managed to creep Remus out but suddenly seemed, somehow, soft and sweet in that moment.

He looks up at Nymphadora, his Nymphadora, who is smiling in exactly the same way and he can’t stop the grin from spreading over his face. He feels as if he is drunk with happiness, drunk with love for the little one cradled safely in his arms. He looks back down again and Teddy is sucking on his thumb and gurgling happily at the same time.

There is a murmur from Tonks’ direction and Remus kisses Teddy gently on his cheek before handing him over to his mother. Nymphadora takes her son in her arms and there is such a look of tenderness about her that Remus thinks he might be falling in love with her all over again.

He wants to go out and tell the world, he wants to shout it from the rooftops. At the same time he doesn’t want to leave, is content to stand there and watch his wife and his son. He slowly steps forward,a yearning rising inside of him to be a part of that circle of warm, glowing love. He kisses Nymphadora gently. He leans his forehead against hers and to his surprise there are tears gathering in his eyes.

“I love you.” He whispers and his voice is hoarse, but he doesn’t care and Nymphadora lets out a watery laugh.

“I love you to.” She says and so he kisses her.

When he’s lying on the grounds during the Battle of Hogwarts, Tonks lying unnaturaly still next to him, he thinks back on that moment. He remembers hearing somewhere that after death, one relives the happiest days of their lives over and over again. He always used to think that would be his time in Hogwarts, with the Marauders.

Now he thinks, that it would be that moment, when he first held Teddy in his arms and the memory of the connection he felt.

He knows he’s going to die, he’s too weak to fight and the battle is too fierce at this point for anyone to have the hands free to come to their aid, everyone is busy keeping themselves alive and fighting off the Death Eaters.

He takes Nymphadora’s hand in his and kisses it, he wishes he could do more, but his body is failing him. He’s been unconscious for a while and there is an huge gash in his side from where a Dark Curse hit him. He’s lost too much blood, he knows it with a certainty that is staggering.

He wishes he could see Teddy one last time, there are so many things he didn’t say to his son, even though if he had Teddy wouldn’t remember them. With a choked sob he realizes that Teddy is never going to know him or Nymphadora, just like Harry never knew his parents.

But Remus knows that Teddy will be much happier then Harry had ever been, because Harry is Teddy’s godfather and Harry will look after his son. And there is still Andromeda, who will protect her grandson fiercly, the same way she had tried to protect Nymphadora.

Ah, Nymphadora, his beautiful Nymphadora. She had been so brave, so fierce, so bright and unbelievably gentle in her own way. She was loving and smart and clever and so wonderfully clumsy. She was cheeky and cheerful and bubblegum pink. She was everything he’d always wanted and everything he’d always told himself he’d never have.

She’d broken through his defences, had stripped away his walls, had cast aside his doubts, had carved her way into his heart and had never left. She’d been the sun in his bleek, empty world and she’d given him everything. She’d given him companionship, warmth, love, a son!

Her hand is still warm in his when his eyes close.

Fin