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Wolf: Ok all I can say about the long delay…long delay as in about three months even is that…school ended up taking so much of my time… More than I thought it would. I knew junior year was going to end up being one of my most time-taking years… I just didn’t know the extent of it… And wow. That’s a lot of time. ;-; I can’t count the hours of sleep I’ve lost because of it. So really, you can’t imagine how deeply sorry I am for delaying this so long considering how little time I’ve had to work on my fics and usually I work sparingly for each as I wanted them to be updated all around the same time…
Ah but it wasn’t just school that delayed it. This chapter was difficult to write, I won’t deny that. My muse seemed to like running away from me each time I sat down to try and write it… And there was a lot of times I liked to cut the scenes, taking out what I thought was useless and then placing something in…only to throw it out. A lot of annoying editing. It’s definitely not my most perfect chapter, and definitely one of the ones I’ve been most annoyed with, but I still hope it’s enjoyable. Hopefully more so for you to read than it was for me to write.
You’re all probably getting annoyed at the length of this author’s note, but I felt I had to give some sort of explanation to all of you for the delay of this update. I owe all my readers and reviewers at least that much. But I’ll cut the “blah blah blah boring whatever” of this note and just end it here so you can all go along your merry way of reading the damn thing. :P Hopefully you enjoy it! Enjoy!
Play For Me
Chapter 5
Expectancy Hindered
If there was anything Tokiha Mai cherished nearly as much as her loved ones, it was her restaurant. Her restaurant was her pride and joy. It had started out as a small little café that her father had owned. Growing up, the café had been her favorite place to spend her time, leisurely helping out her father. When he died though, Mai had taken custody of the café through his will and had turned her love of the place with the passion of her favorite thing to do, cooking.
Cooking had been a skill; a love and passion taught by her mother and passed down into her own hands. She remembered long days just bustling about the kitchen, feet adorned in slippers. She remembered various times when she’d cling to her mother’s leg, the light of the dusk settling in from the window. Happy times, past times; those days had been such joys, but they’d come and gone.
It was difficult, to say the least. She’d had to grow up far faster than most children her age had when her parents died. It had been tiresome on her part and often she found herself weeping softly from the stress that her premature adult heart wilted in, but she’d done it and had not regretted her decision to take up the role of mother and father for her most cherished person.
Tokiha Takumi was Mai’s first priority. Though she loved her friends and adored her restaurant, Mai simply just couldn’t imagine life without her little brother. The sickly brown-haired boy was often in her mind, most thoughts riddled with anxiety as she worried about his health, welfare, and being. Takumi loathed it when she aggravated herself, but Mai couldn’t stop worrying about him everyday. It just came with the price of loving.
People always acted and did crazy things for the ones they loved anyway, she noted quietly to herself. A honking sound broke her musing though and Mai found herself slowly gliding back to reality. Violet eyes blinked and a pale hand came to scratch the shell of her ear as the ginger-haired girl looked up and down the street. She’d been so lost in her inner musings that she almost forgot why she was standing on the sidewalk. She was walking to the grocery store.
The sight of the cars zooming down the streets brought a faint sense of motion sickness to her belly and she placed her hand on the pole beside her to calm herself. Leaning on her arm slightly, the redhead continued gazing at the road until the light finally changed. Quickly pacing down the streets with the small crowd moving by her on all sides, Mai’s thoughts reverted back to earlier on the weekend.
It really had been a busy weekend besides the addition of her restaurant. Throughout the week the redhead had been doomed to listen to Natsuki’s endless rants each night. Mai knew her friend was the epitome of passion when it came to music, at least in her opinion, but she honestly didn’t think she could stand hearing another conversation with the words “music” and “pianist” anymore. Seriously, how could one be so excited about having a musical partner? Though Natsuki herself often questioned Mai how it could be any more exciting to cook for nagging customers at a restaurant. She came to the conclusion that it was all about perspective and one’s passion.
But she definitely didn’t want to sit at the couch and hear Natsuki gibber about piano keys and guitar notes all day.
This was why the redhead had opted to go buy groceries for her and her friend instead of listening to said friend’s ranting. So here she was, crossing through the city to the nearest supermarket. Normally Mai loved to go grocery shopping because one of her favorite pastimes was looking at all the newest food produce and thinking up new recipes to try out for her restaurant. However, today was just not the best day to go grocery shopping. The reason? It was hot. It was too hot and her temper was becoming too short.
A sigh released from the busty female as she finally stepped into the supermarket. Her lips curled into a smile at the air-conditioning rapidly cooling her body and she shuffled in her pocket for her list. Lilac-toned eyes skimmed the list as Mai strolled through the aisles. The redhead mumbled softly to herself as she walked, “Hmm I need carrots, bread, lettuce, bacon, and mayonnaise for Natsuki, something sweet for Nao, ham…”
Her quiet mumbles soon became inaudible except to her own ears as she searched through the market. Grabbing a kart, Mai proceeded to grab the necessary items off her list. Hands swiped the aforementioned items off the shelves as she wandered through the spacious building. Her bright eyes were so focused on her list and her produce that the ginger-haired youth failed to see where she was going, or who she was heading straight into.
A gasp flowed from her full lips and Mai took several steps back when she bumped into something broad and firm. Reaching up to rub her head in an attempt to chase away the surprise from knocking into someone, her eyes fixed on who she had bumped into.
Mai’s gaze trailed up a solid chest clothed in a dark blue button-up shirt and stared at a pair of charming grayish eyes. A smile curled thin lips on the man’s handsomely defined face, framed by neat obsidian locks. The smile stretched across his features when Mai’s face began to flame bright red.
Steam could almost be seen wheezing out of Mai’s ears as she recognized who she bumped into. Coughing and rubbing one hand against her hair while straightening any wrinkles on her beige blouse, the redhead stuttered slightly, “Ahaha…ah! Hello Reito-kun I…didn’t see you there…Sorry for bumping into you like that.”
Reito beamed at her as he grabbed something from the shelves and placed it in his shopping basket, “It is no trouble Mai-san. After all it’s always a pleasure to bump into beautiful women.”
If Mai’s face had been bright pink before it, it darkened into a bountiful shade of crimson now. Laughing in embarrassment once more, the redhead turned to the shelves again. Her eyebrows quirked when she saw a tub filled with thick creamy liquid right in front of her, causing her lips to twitch. For some reason it feels like Natsuki is sending me an omen to not forget her mayo. Gosh that stuff is unhealthy. Really, Natsuki is just begging to have a heart attack at some point. With a sigh, the redhead cautiously picked up the condiment and placed it in her cart. Feeling a curious stare, she looked up and met Reito’s pale gaze. She grinned crookedly, “It’s not for me it’s for Natsuki.”
“Ah Kuga-san? I never would have guessed…the woman seems to keep herself in such a fit condition,” Reito mused as he and the woman padded away from the aisle.
Mai chuckled softly as she and Reito made their way to the cash registers, “Natsuki does keep herself in shape, but she has the most horrible addiction to mayonnaise.”
Reito’s face slowly distorted from charming to disgust in five seconds. His eyebrows meshed together and his lips tugged downwards at the thought of someone wolfing down a bottle of mayo. The image sent a churning pool of nausea in his stomach and he tugged on his collar uneasily, “I see…”
Really, he wondered for Kuga Natsuki’s health.
The expression cleared from his face when he saw they were at the cash registers and he smiled at Mai again as they got in line. However that smile soon dropped as a thought occurred to him as Mai reached the clerk and shuffled in her purse as her items were checked. As the clerk finished, Reito reached out his hand and aimed a disarming smile toward her as he said, “Allow me to pay. Chivalry isn’t dead yet.”
Mai emitted a soft murmur of surprise mixed with a tinge of flattery, “No I couldn’t let you do that Reito-kun. I don’t want to impose on you.”
“Please it is my complete pleasure to aid a beautiful woman,” Reito said with a slight flourishing bow.
Mai’s cheeks painted red again and she puffed them out a bit as she muttered, “But I don’t want to take advantage of your hospitality! It’s rude!”
“Not at all! Please Mai-san, allow me,” Reito said as he shuffled in his back pocket and pulled out his wallet.
“But-” Mai tried to protest, cheeks slightly flushed as Reito fiddled with his wallet.
Besides them, the sound of items being checked and buttons pushed upon the cash register went on, before a low, drawling voice spoke up between them.
“That’ll be 6010 Yen please.”
“Of course,” Reito said as he picked at the bills in his wallet.
Mai grabbed his arm before he could whip out the money and shook her head quickly, “No it’s alright Reito-kun, I can pay!”
“No it’s quite alright let me!” he said, trying to break her grip on his arm.
Unbeknownst to the two, the clerk watched with dully interested brown eyes. The two continued to squabble, both grabbing each others’ arms so neither could reach for their money. The clerk’s eye twitched, his nerves beginning to grate as he awaited the payment. With a sigh, he drawled once more, “6010 Yen please.”
“Yes! I’ll pay!” both of them said, turning to him sharply and trying to shove their money at him.
He recoiled, his look twisted oddly as he glanced at the bills before speaking, “I only need 6010 Yen please.”
Mai and Reito pulled back, both trying to separate the other’s hold on their arms as the clerk watched the dispute. Mai huffed in frustration, “Really Reito-kun, I can pay.”
“As a gentleman, it should be me,” the dark-haired male said, finally pulling away from Mai’s hand and grabbing the money before shoving it into the clerk’s hands.
The slightly tanned man jerked and fumbled with the money and before Mai could make another attempt to pay, he stuffed it into the cash register. Mai’s ears heard the slight ping as the cash was put away and her shoulders dropped in defeat. She sighed and glanced at Reito, “I could’ve paid.”
“I wanted to,” Reito said, brushing back the few black tresses that had been mussed in their scrabble. The fiery-haired woman pouted softly and he chuckled before answering, “If you really want to make it up to me… How about dinner?” he asked, the charm seeping back into his voice.
A small sound of surprise emitted from the woman and embarrassment colored her cheeks red. She scratched her head and shyly turned away. Eh… A date? The flush on her cheeks darkened and a flattered grin stretched her lips, a coy look thrown to the man beside her.
Reito looked at her with both hope and amusement in his pale gray eyes, yet also with a tad of expectancy. His look brightened when he saw the blush on her face and his smile widened, eyes closing happily. Mai scratched the back of her head once more before replying shyly, “Sure… A date it is then.”
“Wonderful!” Reito beamed. Before the man could say anymore though, the clerk’s voice once again cut into their conversation.
“The lines are for paying customers please. All fraternizing must be done outside the market, please move along. Please,” he said, tone still mirroring the bored drawl and his brown eyes blinking without feeling. Really, he’d been patient until now, but his line was growing and all these two were doing was loitering around and growing mushy with each other. Also, he really wasn’t enjoying seeing a guy ask a girl out. He saw enough of that back at the university.
Mai’s face flushed once more and she sputtered as she shot him a chagrined look. He only blinked at her as he handed her her plastic bags. She took them bashfully and mumbled a thank you as Reito looked back at the man once more. The dark-haired male looked as if he was just about to say something when he froze, eyes widening in recognition.
“Tate-san!”
Tate’s gaze moved slowly, glancing over at Reito before speaking once more in the same dull drawl, “Do I know you?”
“Mah, I’m hurt Tate-san. You don’t remember me?” Reito asked, face taking on a slightly wounded pretense.
Tate made a non-amused grunt before saying, “Look I’d really like to chitchat, but I’ve got customers waiting and you two are holding up the line.”
He made a shooing motion with his hand and the two moved out of the line, Mai looking slightly offended as Reito chuckled again, waving goodbye as they exited the store, “I’ll see you later Tate-san!”
The blond man didn’t even bother to look over his shoulder and return Reito’s wave, just went back to his work as the next customer appeared in line. Mai’s eyes narrowed as she watched the slightly bowed neck of the man before turning to Reito as they walked out into the parking lot of the large store. Shifting her bags for a better grip, she glanced at him, “So who was that?”
“Tate-san? Ah he’s an acquaintance of mine back at the university. I’m a little surprised that he doesn’t seem to remember me. He did spend about a week of detention with me,” the black-haired male said, chuckling to himself.
“A whole week? What for?” Mai asked, eyes widening as they walked back to Reito’s car.
“Hmm. Well, he did happen to get into an incident with this one lady. He was always mumbling to himself about how irritating she was and how weird her style of dress was. Said something about yellow glasses.”
Reito’s laughter boomed in the parking lot as Mai tried to puzzle out where she’d seen yellow glasses before.
- - -
The ceiling, she decided after what felt to her like hours, was a very boring and plain place to stare at. The insistent ticking of the clock placed high on the pale blue living room wall seemed to echo so imposingly in the quiet of the apartment that it made her fingers tap jerkily against her knee. Her eyebrows, dipped in a crease upon her forehead, occasionally twitched in time with the loud ticking of the inanimate object. There was no other sound except for her steady breathing which was increasingly becoming louder with impatience. Well, there was almost no other sound in the apartment.
The faint noise of pages fluttering sounded, shifting as lithe fingers danced on the paper before flipping them over some minutes later. There was soft breathing next to her, serene unlike her own. Nao sat by her on the couch, her lighter green-hued eyes glued to the novel set into her hands. Unlike Natsuki she wasn’t pulled in by boredom’s beckons and was pleasantly enjoying her book. At some points, when she came to an interesting point in the book, she’d make a small noncommittal noise and push back the lenses dropping down her nose. She pretty much ignored the other woman sitting beside her, tuning out the sighs and groans of boredom.
Natsuki popped her head back on the top of the couch and signed once more, making a rather loud breathing sound through her nose. She closed her eyes and her senses honed in on the slight whisper of the wind leaking through her open living room window and the feel of her hair brushing her forehead. Her ears perked at the page flipping and she peeked open one eye.
Nao was sitting with her legs crossed, those tacky yellow glasses of hers on. Whether they actually helped her to read or were just there as a fashion statement, Natsuki didn’t know. The redhead was perfectly fine in continuing on with her book, but when she finally began to notice Natsuki’s intense staring, her gaze drifted from the pages to meet her companion’s emerald eyes. She arched a thin brow and quipped, “What?”
Natsuki replied simply, voice deadly serious, “I’m bored.”
“Oh? Do you want me to do something about that?” Nao replied, her lips tugging with the urge to smirk at Natsuki’s statement. Holding herself back so she wouldn’t anger her friend, because Natsuki could be easily set off when she was bored, her lips twitched almost like a slightly crazed smile.
“Yeah. Unbore me,” Natsuki said, still as simply and seriously.
“Is that even a word? And how do you expect me to ‘unbore’ you?”
“I don’t know! Just do something entertaining!”
“Want me to play fetch with you?” Nao asked as she leaned over and grabbed a blue ball that was conveniently right next to the couch. She turned back to Natsuki and held out the toy, both her lips and eyebrows raised.
Natsuki frowned, confusion on her face as she scrutinized the other girl. One hand reached up and scratched at her head as she said, “Don’t you mean catch, not fetch?”
“No I mean fetch,” Nao stated, eyes darkening with a deadpan expression.
It took a few minutes for the implication to sink in for Natsuki, and when it did her eyebrows shot nearly straight up to her hairline. Her mouth parted and slackened for a minimal amount of seconds, and then she snapped her jaw shut and growled. Viridian eyes blazed as Natsuki grabbed the nearest couch pillow and smacked Nao upside the head, “For the last time Nao I’m not a dog!”
“Ow! Yeah you’re not, you’re an abusive owner! I pity whatever dog gets you for a master!” Nao yelped as the cushion connected with her cheek. Really, this ‘Let’s hit Nao with a pillow’ sport was getting old. Ducking another swipe at her head in result of her previous comment, the redhead skidded off the couch and gasped, “Ok ok knock it off Kuga!”
“Only when you learn to knock off the wisecracks!” Natsuki retorted as she dropped the pillow and crossed her arms, sulkily leaning back into the sofa.
“But ruffling your feathers is fun,” Nao grinned as she strode back to the furniture, but wisely not sitting down and opting to remain a few feet away. She set her book down on the coffee table placed in front of the couch and dropped herself on the armchair across it. One arm came up to sit on the armrest whilst the other retrieved her book and flipped it open. She went back to reading for a few more minutes before the exasperating sighs began to grate her nerves. One eyebrow quirked, she turned back to Natsuki and sighed, giving the other girl her full attention, “Alright really, what is it? You can’t seriously be that bored.”
“But I am!” Natsuki protested, huffing and waving her arms before crossing them against her chest again.
“Then find something to do,” Nao grumbled.
“Like?”
“Like… I don’t know… Practice your oh so beloved guitar?”
“I already did… For four hours!”
“And hear I was under the impression that you’d never get tired of that thing. I stand corrected. The world must be ending,” Nao mumbled dryly as she cast Natsuki an irritated glance before speaking again, “If you’re so bored, then why not give that partner of yours a call? If you two are going to be in a partnership, then don’t you need to spend some amount of time with her?”
At this, silence answered her. Natsuki’s lips pulled downward and her arms tightened around her chest. She seemed to become sullen all of a sudden, legs crossing as her feet bounced stiffly against the carpet of the floor. She watched and waited as the dark-haired musician glared at the floor before heaving a sigh and turning to the redhead, “I don’t have her number.”
“Are you serious?” Nao blanched, scratching her head. She didn’t know whether it was the fact that Natsuki didn’t have the woman’s number that surprised her or the fact that something simple as the lack of a phone number stopped Natsuki from taking action.
“That’s not like you.”
“What?” Curious green eyes turned to the snarky woman, brow arched.
“That’s not like you. You wouldn’t let a measly phone number stop you from barging into someone’s house to talk to them,” Nao said nonchalantly as she flipped through her book. She could feel Natsuki’s temper spike, the offended tension from the other girl crackling in the air. Nao had to chuckle, Natsuki tended to take words the wrong way; especially her words.
“I don’t barge into people’s houses!” the biker protested, uncrossing her arms and standing up from the couch.
“Alright you can keep on denying it,” Nao said.
“Argh! Why doesn’t anyone believe me on this?! I didn’t mean to walk right into her house!” Natsuki snarled.
“It wasn’t just her house you barged into, but mine as well. Remember that one time?” Nao asked, eyebrow rising as she shot Natsuki a meaningful look.
Natsuki blinked at the redhead and her face scrunched up slightly as if she was trying to recall something. Then it flushed bright red and she spluttered, “T-That was different!”
“True. There was no water gun involved the other time. No angry Mai either,” Nao mumbled.
Natsuki grumbled in irritation, “Besides that was one time! I haven’t done it anymore since then!”
“And since Fujino,” Nao smirked.
The biker growled and turned away, “You’re no help at all! And here I was thinking about asking you that maybe you’d like to… But nah you probably wouldn’t want to.”
Nao glanced over at Natsuki, hearing the tone change from annoyance to something like challenging, the way one speaks when they’re trying to bribe someone with something good, but won’t necessarily give it to them. Her curiosity began to itch at her and the redhead leaned forward, both eyebrows arched as she asked, “What? Ask me what? C’mon Kuga tell me!”
“Why should I? I mean you’re obviously so upset with me and my ‘felonies’ that you wouldn’t want to cooperate,” Natsuki said, smirking sneakily as she faced away from her friend.
Nao’s face twisted in discontent and her lips pulled downward into a pout. She reached over and tugged the other girl’s shoulder, whining, “Kuga! C’mon you’re gonna eventually tell me anyway so just tell me!”
Natsuki glanced over her shoulder and scowled at her, “Alright alright.”
Nao grinned, sitting back with a victorious smile as the biker turned and leant back casually. Natsuki rubbed her nape for a moment, a thoughtful look passing over her face before she finally stated, “Well… Y’know how I said I wanted a pianist?”
“Who doesn’t know? You whined about it whenever you could-Ow!”
Nao paused, rubbing her head where a pillow had promptly come into contact with her forehead as Natsuki growled, “Don’t interrupt.”
“Anyways,” she continued, “I’ve been thinking about this for years…and I was wondering… What do you think about the idea of being in a band…with me?” she said at last, taking a breather and looking at Nao.
The first thing that crossed Nao’s mind was why would Natsuki ask her to be in a band with her? The second was that it felt a little odd being asked such a thing by her usually solo-loving friend. Then finally the third was not so much a thought as it was a feeling. A familiar feeling began to bubble underneath her heart and her lips twitched, quirking upwards as her eyebrows rose further. She had a strange urge to snicker at the biker’s nervous expression, but the feeling was overriden by the smirk tugging her lips.
When Natsuki saw the smug expression lighting on the redhead’s face, her hopeful look quickly changed into irritation. She grimaced, sitting back and angrily pouting as Nao sniggered.
“You don’t have to laugh,” Natsuki grumbled, tapping her foot against the floor and crossing her arms as the redhead gave into her mirth beside her.
Nao chortled and glanced at her friend, then moved over and patted the biker’s shoulder as she attempted to calm her snickers, “Oh c’mon don’t be like that! I’m not laughing at you. I’m just a little surprised that the Oh-So-Amazing Kuga would ask me to play with her.”
Natsuki made a small abashed noise before she eyed Nao and mumbled in begrudging respect, “You’re a good drummer…”
“You always said I sucked,” Nao pointed out, smirk widening at the frustrated look scrunching up Natsuki’s face.
“You… You don’t suck, you’re just loud,” the dark-haired one said.
“Yeah right. Listen Kuga, you’re a critic. A big one when it comes to music. Why should I join this band of yours when it’ll probably make for openings for you and your criticism? You’ll only probably be ten times more annoying than you usually are,” Nao said, leaning back against the couch and mirroring the arm-crossed position the guitarist sported. She watched as that dark brow twitched and watched as that jaw tightened.
“C’mon! I’m not that bad! It’s not my fault that I think you just need a little more improvement…”
“A little?! You’re always whining about how my playing is completely off-key,” the drummer squawked, voice between disbelief and laughter.
“No I’m not!” Natsuki growled.
“Ahuh. Your expectations are always so high Kuga. You need to learn to lighten up,” Nao said, patting her friend’s shoulder once more.
If anything, what she meant to loosen her friend up only served to make Natsuki more irritated as her growls grew louder. She shrugged off Nao’s hand and frowned deeply, “C’mon why won’t you join? I’m not going to be that bad… Please…?”
“Nah. You’d just be cranking up my freestyle,” Nao replied, voice changing to one of boredom as she got up off the couch and padded to where her book had been tossed aside.
There was a moment of silence before Natsuki spoke again, voice soft this time.
“I’ll pay you…”
Her body froze, back half-bent as her arms were stretched out to snatch her book.
Another moment of silence before…
“Well… So any ideas for a band name? I mean we have so much to discuss!”
When Natsuki answered back it was with smugness in her tone.
“We sure do.”
- - -
A low sound emitted from the single ivory key as her slim finger touched it, pressing down gently. The hum vibrated in her ears, filling her heart with a sense of acquiescence. A warm feeling flowed through her body at the sound and to strengthen it, she pressed down on the key once more. At the sweetness of it, she shakily lifted her other fingers and pressed. The sigh that rolled her body was relaxed, quiet.
Each finger delicately pressed down on the keys, not wishing or willing to rush any of the soft sounds that hummed from the instrument. Her smile curled her lips slowly as her eyelids fluttered and moved partway to cover her eyes. Her hands swept along the piano slowly, fingers tapping gently as the music began to echo all around her. The warmth spread from her chest, blossoming with each key pressed.
Once, twice, three times her hands swept back and forth. Perfection, this was what it was. Playing was complete perfection. Nothing could disturb her sanctuary as she continued playing, hands passing gently each time, fingers gracing the keys. Another sigh flowed from her lips and her smile widened, eyelids moving to completely cover her scarlet eyes. Such sweet perfection.
Her finger pressed down, slowly. A low sound, a soft sound. She continued smile.
Another finger came.
Her smile still intact, she pressed.
The imagined tune, the hum of her beloved instrument.
Nothing could stain perfection.
Shizuru sighed happily.
Perfection stained.
The instant her fingers pressed once more, they trembled. A groan and a shriek came from the piano. Her body stiffened, back straightening and her ears protested against the shriek that filled them. She shot up from the piano seat, but didn’t move away from her precious thing. Her dark eyes stared at the piano, arms trembling as her muscles pulled themselves tautly together. Her jaw clenched, teeth grinding against each other.
With a growl of frustration, her hand fisted and rose. It shook in midair as her form swayed above her piano. Her face, distorted by the shadows plaguing it gazed angrily. She stared at her instrument, eyes raking it up and down, as if daring it to mock her, mock the skill that she’d placed upon it only to have it spit back at her. The fist, curled and waiting, trembled once more.
“Stupid… Stupid…”
She swiveled her body around, turning her back on the black piano.
She crossed her living room angrily, moving past the couch to her kitchen. Once in the small white room, she padded to the counter and grasped her tea kettle. The brunette’s hand moved toward a mug, picking up the first one it found. Then Shizuru sighed once more as she poured herself a cup of tea. Her hands shook while she did so.
Shizuru frowned, glaring at the shaking white fingers. She placed her kettle down and lifted her cup, lips parting to allow the lukewarm liquid in. Her throat moved up and down, swallowing, body gradually unwinding. Muscles loosened, tension left her shoulders as she drank. Shizuru lowered her mug, exhaling quietly. Her hooded eyes focused and she turned to peek back into her living room. Her piano stood against the wall, an ominous reminder.
She leaned against the counter, giving a single, solemn heave. One hand moved and wiped across her face, catching tendrils of her pale oak hair. Her eyes stared at the tiled floor, hand fisting itself into her hair as she thought. Again… Again… Why can’t I… Why can’t I just…
Her shoulders slumped, answer not given as she placed her cup down on the counter. Her eyes strayed back to the piano, thoughtful as her hand curled through her hair, crumpling at the top of her head. The glimmer of the ebony piano shone in the sunlight pouring through the window not far from it. Ominously, it seemed to speak to her for a moment, beckoning her forth once more to attempt at perfection. She resisted its call, mood downtrodden.
The Kyoto-born walked to her couch and slumped on it. One arm laid itself upon the armrest as her other draped across her lap. Her head gently rested on the head of the couch, eyes fluttering as she let herself fall into a lull. Even in a near doze, the sound of music continued to poke at the fog surrounding her mind, desperately trying to break through. She listened to the faint tune of it, red eyes concealed. Her breathing softened as her consciousness bordered the edge of slumber and wake.
Won’t you play? You’re very good.
A deep voice, bountiful of charm and wit just beneath the surface.
Her temper sparked, pride caught between taking up the challenge in the tone and resisting giving in. She growled, snapped out of her doze and straightened on the couch. Her head rested on her palms, shoulders lowered as that male voice mocked her in her memories, picking at her.
What do you mean you can’t? Scared to take a challenge Fujino?
“Stupid…” she hissed under her breath, biting her lip, “Stupid man…”
She rose from the couch, stomping to the piano in firm resignation. She’d play just to spite him. Seating herself at the seat once more, Shizuru pushed back the sleeves of her tan blouse and flexed her fingers. They hovered, just above the keys once more. Her breath stilled in her throat. For a moment she forgot how to exhale and inhale, staring at the keys. Her pale brow creased, lips pursing.
Play for me won’t you?
She gritted her teeth and brought her hands down, grazing the keys only slightly. Just play. Moisture rimmed at the edges of her eyes, heart catching speed in her ribcage. Playing wasn’t hard. She was good, she was more than good, she knew this.
So why…
Her hands left the piano, shoulders slumping again in defeat. Shizuru looked away and stared in both shame and despondency at her failure. White fingers curled in her lap. What is wrong with me? Why can’t I play today?
Indeed, it was not just today that her skill failed her. Music was just at the tip of her fingertips, but would not come when she called to it, when she willed for it. Frustration made her snatch the music sheet that sat idly on her piano. Her fingers crumpled it briefly in their grasp before they scratched at it, tearing it to shreds. Pieces of paper fluttered in the air and fell silently on the carpet floor at her feet, victim to her rage.
“Stupid… Stupid…”
She retreated to her kitchen again, seeking comfort in her tea. Shizuru glared in accusation over the rim of her cup at her piano across the room, eyes dark and smoldering. She drank greedily, like one needing to assure themselves of their worth, their talent. What was she without talent?
Nothing… I am nothing if I cannot do this… They’ve always…
She hissed and slammed her cup on the counter before tackling the piano again. Her face was set in grim lines of determination as her fingers slammed against the ivory, “If I cannot get this right…”
She trailed off, beginning to play without a tune in mind, hands moving of their own accord. Anger kept her fingers dancing quickly, sharply tapping each key as a tune blared in her ears. In the midst of her bitterness and sour persistence, she was a master.
Shizuru smirked smugly as the music radiated with perfect accordance, listening to the low, angry song. It was ironic how only in her anger could she touch perfection. Music was her source of peace, yet when she was relaxed she could not even stroke its graceful wing. Only in anger could she touch its magnificence.
Only in anger can I find peace… Reito would have a field day if he knew this.
She laughed coarsely, without humor as she played. The minutes ticked by with her music, yet the tune went on unchanged. Still angry, still bitter. Afternoon daylight worked its way through the windowpane at her right. Her weariness finally caught with her and her hands slowed, eventually ceasing upon the keys. She blinked against the light and stared out the window, watching the dusk come ever faster. Sunset tinged the sky a shade of dark gold with hints of pale yellow that lingered from early noon.
With a soft murmur, she left her precious thing and walked to the couch. Shizuru sat down, legs curling atop it rather than crossing together as they usually did. Exhaustion pulled at her limbs, collecting mostly in her sore fingers. She rubbed them against each other, mouth quirking downward. She’d played for hours on end, with the skill one like her possessed.
And yet no satisfaction came of it.
“What is wrong with me?” she whispered into the still air of her empty apartment.
Her questions, as usual, went unanswered.
But it’s done!
Oh and I just remembered… I cannot, for the life of me, convert dollars into other countries’ currency. I’m that bad at converting money. I had a horrible time converting dollars into euros in my French class.
Mai’s amount of money that she used in the first scene for her shopping I estimated in my head around fifty dollars. If 6010 Yen is not anywhere near that converted, please please please call me on it. I don’t want to look foolish even though I researched it. Or tried to. I still ended up confused.
And now I’m very shaky and tired so I should be getting to bed. I forewent my sleep for this! Even though I’d probably have had to suffer insomnia again…
Ahh! As for Tate being introduced as a clerk in this chapter… Well I always thought he’d make a nice clerk. I just like the idea of him in a clerk outfit…? Not to mock him or anything, just thought he’d be nice as one. A dutiful, if though bored at times one. He reminds me a little of my brother in that…
Ok, ok I’ll stop ranting!
Oh wait… If anyone was confused again to Shizuru’s behavior in the last scene… Good you’re supposed to be confused. Eventually I will explain. Just not now, when I’m shaking from loss of sleep and how cold it is early morning here.
Review please? I will try and respond this time! -gives puppy eyes with clasped hands- Please and thank you!