Chapter Fifteen

Questions I Don’t Want to Answer

“How did my Mummy and Daddy fall in love?”

“Where did they get married?”

“When did they get married?”

“Do you have pictures?”

“Can I see them?”

“When did they have me?”

“Where do babies come from?”

“How come Uncle George is always happy after spending alone time with Aunt Luna?”

“How come you’re always happy after spending alone time with Aunt Ginny?”

“Why is your face all red?”

“Why are you sweating so much?”

“Where are you going?”

Harry made a bee line for the kitchen with a very determined Teddy Lupin on his heels. That little boy wanted answers and he was sure that Harry had them. Now, Harry wasn’t under any misconception about what his role as the dominant male figure in Teddy’s life would entail, he just hadn’t thought that the little guy would be asking all those questions so soon. The kid was three years old, for Merlin’s sake! He shouldn’t be wondering about where babies come from.

Harry thought that that was a conversation they would have when Teddy was…… older. He still had a hard time not thinking of the little guys as a screaming infant.

Where do babies come from?

Not something Harry really wanted to think about, especially considering the fact that most of the older Weasley men were settling down and having a dozen or so of their own. There was all sorts of pressure on Harry and Ginny and Ron and Hermione as the newly weds of the family to start having a bunch as well. From what little Harry had seen of his best mates recently, he was inclined to believe that they were trying.

What with Bill and Fleur’s two daughters (the rumor running around the family was that she was indeed pregnant again), Charlie’s girlfriend, Charlene (i.e. Charlie) being pregnant with their first child, Percy’s daughter Molly jr. and George and Luna’s son Fred- anyone in the family that wasn’t actively trying to have a child or didn’t have one already was the odd man out.

It wasn’t that Harry and Ginny didn’t want to have kids, they did. They’d already talked about it and everything:

Harry: “Do you fancy having a baby someday?”

Ginny: “Sure, why not?”

See, they’d talked loads about it. But they’d just gotten married. Harry had just figured out how to do all that his job demanded of him and how to be good husband on top of that. They both worked all day, him at the Ministry and her at Quidditch practice, they got home at about the same time and who ever was home first made dinner or got dinner from a nearby restaurant. She had games almost every Friday at five so Harry took off early to support her. On the weekends they spent time with friend and with the family and dedicated at least three solid hours to shagging.

They were both usually too tired during the week to shag and their hectic working schedules prohibited a proper honeymoon, so they spent as much time as they could shagging, which unfortunately wasn’t a lot.

It wasn’t that they didn’t want kids, they just didn’t have the time. In Harry’s mind the inevitable child that came from their random coupling would probably be a mistake and like all mistakes a surprise. That didn’t keep Mrs. Weasley from badgering them about it, though. She was overrun with grandchildren most days and said that it reminder her fondly of when all her babies were at home and in desperate need of their Mummy.

“Uncle Harry! Uncle Harry!” Teddy pulled on his trousers and eventually decided that it was best for both of them if he wrapped his little body around Harry’s leg. That way Uncle Harry couldn’t get away without taking Teddy with him.

Harry didn’t bother trying to pry the child off of him. It wouldn’t have done any good and the ensuing struggle would catch young Victoire’s attention, thus giving her the idea to latch herself onto Harry’s leg too. Victoire made a point of doing everything that Teddy did. For the most part the two of them were inseparable.

“What, Teddy?” Harry knew what was coming but he hoped that the little guy had an attention span as short as his body. Teddy stopped tugging on Harry’s trousers for a moment and thought.

“I want you to tell me about my Mummy and my Daddy,” he finally said. Harry sighed. He almost preferred the sex question to that one. What was he supposed to say?

“Sorry, Teddy. But when your father found out that your mother was pregnant he just about bolted.”

Harry sighed, he couldn’t say that. Unfortunately he was hard pressed not to, the horrible truth was on the tip of his tongue just begging to be told. Harry knew he’d have to tell Teddy eventually. If only for his peace of mind, but he had a feeling that someday Teddy would ask him point blank, ‘What was my father’s reaction when he found out my mother was pregnant?’ And Harry wouldn’t lie to him.

But fortunately Teddy hadn’t asked that exact question so Harry couldn’t give him the answer in the tip of his tongue.

“Uncle Harry, I wanna know!”

Harry dragged Teddy towards the kitchen of Ginny and his flat. Andromeda would often times let Harry watch his godson for a few hours on the weekend. Ginny hadn’t known that Andromeda planned on having Teddy stay over or she wouldn’t have told Bill they could watch Victoire and Dominique for a few hours. The flat that Harry had once thought of as so large was now being overrun by three children that weren’t even his.

“Ginny!” Harry called for his wife. She was so much better at these delicate situations then he was.

“Uncle Harry! I want to know!” Teddy insisted.

“Ginny!” Harry exclaimed at the exact same moment she ventured out of the kitchen. She was holding Dominique and Victoire was hanging onto her belt trying to drag her back into the kitchen.

“Gah! What, Harry?”

“Teddy has asked me a very… delicate question…” Harry gave her a meaningful look that he hoped communicated the seriousness of the situation. Ginny blinked at him.

“Delicate question?” she repeated. “Like he asked you where babies come from?” The two of them froze in unison and looked at the children surrounding them. The children were all listening very carefully. Teddy asked the obvious question, the one he’d already asked and abandoned in favor of the one about his parents.

“Uncle Harry, where do babies come from?” he asked. Harry closed his eyes and sighed.

“Uncle Harry will tell you that when you’re older,” Ginny said coming to his rescue. It was her fault, she should fix it, Harry thought.

“But!”

“No,” she insisted silencing Teddy. “If not that, what did he ask you?”

“He asked me about Remus and Tonks… I don’t know what to tell him,” he admitted. “You give me a Dark Wizard and I’ll take care of him like that,” he snapped his fingers and Ginny rolled her eyes, “but this… what do I say?”

“Tell him the truth, Harry,” she said. Harry gaped at her. “Not the brutal truth, of course. He’s too young, he’d never understand.”

After that Ginny allowed Victoire to force her back into the kitchen, leaving Harry alone with Teddy, who was still upset about not finding out where babies come from. He’d have to get over it because Harry wasn’t about to answer that question on top of the one he’d already asked. Harry pulled Teddy from his leg and picked him up. Once Harry had situated the two of them on the couch he sighed and tried to think while Teddy kicked his legs against the cushion.

He knew what he should say and what he wanted to say. If there was some way to combine the two so that he wasn’t saying too much but also wasn’t lying. Someday he’d have to tell Teddy the whole truth, tell him how his father reacted to his mother’s pregnancy. But not today. He wouldn’t understand, he probably never would.

“Why is this so hard?” Teddy asked.

Good question, Harry thought. He used to be able to say that Remus was a smart man, a loyal friend and a gifted professor and wizard. All in all a very admirable man looking to make the world that rejected him a better place. It was hard for one reason and one reason only and damn it as hard as he tried Harry couldn’t get past it even in his own mind.

Remus deserved better then that.

This wasn’t about Harry. This was about Teddy and Teddy deserved to hear about all the good his father did. About all the good both his parents did. Two very gifted individuals that deserved to be remembered for more than their short comings.

“You want to know about your Mum and Dad?” Harry asked.

“Yup!”

“Which do you want to hear about first?”

“Ummm… I want to hear about both!” Teddy insisted.

“But which first?”

“Ummm… Daddy. No, Mummy. No Daddy! Daddy. Daddy.”

“Okay.”

“Mummy!” Harry sighed and rubbed his eyes.

“You sure?”

“Yup, Mummy!”

“Okay, your Mum was a klutzy Auror who was remarkable gifted with spells. She was young and pretty with a tendency to change her appearance in order to make people laugh. She loved you father with everything she had. She was very certain of him even when he wasn’t certain of himself…”

Harry paused and tried to think about something else to say about Tonks that her son would understand or enjoy hearing about.

“Tell me about Daddy now,” Teddy said.

“I met your Dad when I was thirteen. He was my Defense Against the Dark Arts professor and to be honest he was one of the best professors I’ve ever had. He taught me all sorts of things that year, but the most important thing he taught was something he couldn’t even do himself.”

“What’s that?”

“He taught me to believe in myself, to trust the people around me, to love even when you’re afraid… Your father was one of best men I’ve ever met but he couldn’t see it.”

“Why?”

“I’ll explain more when you’re older, but to say a bit your father had to… work past a lot of problems within himself before he felt he could trust those around him and even then he never really trusted himself. By the end of his life he finally realized how good his life was, how lucky he was to have your mother and you.”

“I’m lucky!” Teddy exclaimed.

“You are lucky, Teddy. Your parents loved you with every breath they had in them, with everything they in them.”

Teddy smiled up at Harry and Harry smiled back.

---

“I just don’t understand what the two of you have against giving me grandchildren,” Mrs. Weasley sighed dramatically.

“Molly,” Mr. Weasley chided lightly. “We’ve all got our hands full with the four grandchildren we’ve got, plus the two on the way.”

“What are you saying, Arthur?”

“Maybe that you give the two of us a break, Mum?” Ginny suggested.

“I’m not going to live forever, you know?”

“Mrs. Weasley,” Harry said, trying not to roll his eyes.

He sat down next to his wife at the kitchen table. They’d just arrived at the Burrow with the children they’d been watching earlier in the day and Mrs. Weasley had jumped on their case immediately. At first it was a subtle, ‘well, don’t you to look lovely surrounded by children?’ but as time wore on it got more blatant.

“I just want some grandchildren from you two before I die! Is that too much to ask? And you’re married to my daughter now, Harry. How many times must I ask you to call me ‘Mum’?”

“A few more times, perhaps,” Harry said.

“Perhaps I’ll just have to ask you for kids a few more times,” Mrs. Weasley insisted.

“Mum! Would you just leave it?!” Ginny demanded.

“I just want to know why all your brothers are trying for kids and the two of you aren’t?” Mrs. Weasley asked, seemingly innocent. “Is it because you don’t like kids? I know you had a hard time with Teddy before, Harry. But you were seventeen you can’t let that experience color your decision to have kids of your own.”

“We don’t have time!” Ginny finally yelled.

“What do you mean? You’d make time for your child, I know you would, Ginerva. I raised you better then that.”

“That’s not what I meant, Mum,” Ginny insisted.

“But it’s certainly something to consider,” Harry whispered to her.

“Don’t you dare consider it!” Mrs. Weasley yelled. “When you finally have children your priorities will change. They always do-”

“Like I said, Mum, that not what I meant,” Ginny said.

“Then what did you mean, Ginerva?” Mrs. Weasley asked.

“I wish you wouldn’t call me that,” she snapped instead of answering.

Both Harry and Ginny knew the main reason they weren’t actively trying for kids and it wasn’t something either of them wanted to discuss with her parents. Their coupling habits weren’t good dinner conversation and their coupling habits was why they weren’t trying to conceive. Too much work during the week. Too many obligations during the weekend. Not enough time for each other. Three hours a week seemed pitiful for newly weds.

“And I wish you’d answer my question,” Mrs. Weasley snapped, back.

“You wouldn’t like the answer so I’m not going to give it, Mum,” Ginny sighed.

Harry put his arm around her and kissed her temple. The lack of regular intimacy in their marriage was tough on her. It was tough on him too, but he had more then Quidditch plays to occupy his mind when worries about their sex life or lack thereof came up.

“I just-”

“We work all week, Mrs. Weasley,” Harry said. She opened her mouth, no doubt to chastise him for calling her ‘Mrs. Weasley’ but Harry spoke over her. “We work all hours of the day and while both of us try to get home at a reasonable hour it rarely-”

“If ever-” Ginny added.

“Works out that way. I come home absolutely exhausted having dealt with irate senior Aurors, over excited recruits and the criminals it’s my job to protect our world from. While Ginny’s been working her bum off to become the best Quidditch player this world has ever seen,” Harry said.

“I don’t know if you’ve ever been worked by profession Quidditch coach, Mum,” Ginny said. “But they don’t spew sparkles and sunshine. They eat puppies for breakfast and then bring all those good feelings (note the sarcasm) to the field so they can beat the crap out of us.”

“When we get home we’re oft times too tired to make dinner,” Harry said.

“Most of the time we eat out or order in.”

“And after dinner we fall into bed for maybe four or five hours of sleep-”

“If we’re lucky-” Ginny added.

“Just to get up and do it all over again. On weekends our time is split between all our familial obligations-”

“Dinner here, a few hours at Shell Cottage to watch the nieces, Dinner in Scotland to visit Charlie and Charlie, a few hours with Ron and Hermione to catch up and so on and so forth…” Ginny listed.

“And anytime we can squeeze in for each other,” Harry finished as though Ginny had never interrupted him. “When Ginny said that we don’t have any time, she didn’t mean that we wouldn’t have time for the child-”

“Though we wouldn’t-” she added for good measure.

“We don’t have any time for each other,” Harry said, hating the words.

He had just admitted that he had no time for the woman he’d pledged his life to. And he’d said it to her parents, two people who had taken him into their home many times and treated him like one of their own. Harry looked over at Ginny, she looked like she’d just realized it too.

“Are you saying-” Mrs. Weasley began.

“Why don’t you two go upstairs and talk?” Mr. Weasley suggested, kindly.

Harry and Ginny nodded dumbly and went up to her room. They walked in total silence and once Harry had closed, locked and Silenced the door they turned to each other with nothing to say. Harry knew that he could shorten his shift load. Ron could take on more responsibility and the senior Aurors didn’t need half as much baby sitting as they got. He wasn’t just dating Ginny any more. He couldn’t continue his work schedule exactly the way he had before they got married. Something had to give and luckily Harry was very willing to give a little or a lot for his wife.

Unfortunately he didn’t see how Ginny would be able to cut back at her work. If a player didn’t give a hundred and ten percent they were kicked off the team. He’d have to decide if, for a while at least, he was willing to give a little and get nothing in order to save his marriage.

“I’m going to lighten up my load at work,” Harry said finally. “I’ll come home early, make dinner to the best of my ability and help you relax at the end of the day so that we can spend more time together… Okay?”

He would take on most of the work in their relationship right now, because he was in a position to do so. As their life together changed and children became more of a priority other things would change too. Perhaps he’d take some of his work load back on, or maybe he’d take on less, he didn’t know.

“Marriage is about compromise,” Ginny said, climbing onto her bed. “You give and I give… I’ll talk to one of my coaches, they have to understand…”

“We’ll figure it out, Ginny. Together.” Ginny smiled, grabbed the front of Harry’s robes and pulled him onto the bed for a good long snog that was eventually interrupted by Mrs. Weasley looking for more grandchildren.