Chapter Twenty-Five

If you need to leave the world you live in
Lay your head down and stay awhile
though you may not remember dreaming
Something waits for you to breathe again
-Evanescence

(Draco Malfoy)

The rain seemed suiting for the day. Every funeral I had ever been to (which had only been a few), it had rained, so I expected it. My forehead was still burning, a constant reminder that I had been saved.

…A constant reminder that I had killed in vengeance…

I hadn’t spoken to Harry Potter before that day. In all honesty, I was worried what he thought of me. Did he think less of me for what I’d done? I was given the option to be noble like him, and I killed without a second thought. Most would probably have argued that he deserved it for killing my father, but, did that make me any better than him? I didn’t think so. I had decided that war was definitely not for me. Watching my father die in front of me had made up my mind quite easily. I shuddered at the thought of running in so brave, and then leaving as such a coward.

And yet, I could do nothing to change how I felt.

I took a seat next to my mother, not looking at her. In fact, I was rather sure that I had yet to make eye-contact with her after the fight in Dumbledore’s office. I wasn’t sure if I was ashamed or her or of myself. Harry sat on my right.

The ceremony began.

Harry clasped a hand on my shoulder. I bowed my head.

It was one of the last times I allowed myself to cry in front of anyone.

…

Hogwarts was reopened a week after my father’s funeral, and was planned to stretch a bit into summer in order to finish classes that were missed when it was attacked. Many students grumbled how it wasn’t their fault that it happened, but I figured they’d gotten enough of a break, and didn’t really see why they were complaining. I, on the other hand, seemed to almost float through the halls of Hogwarts, a ghost of my own sorts, though not along the lines of Nearly Headless Nick or the Bloody Baron. Hogwarts was carrying too many memories for me. Everywhere I turned, I saw my father’s pale, dead face, or Slytherin’s fiery eyes, or even the shine of the Avada Kedavra that was meant for me. I shuddered.

Not one person in Slytherin had anything to say to me. Some blamed me for Pansy Parkinson’s untimely death (and I did too, to a degree), and others were simply afraid of me. I wasn’t really giving the impression that I wanted to be talked to anyway. Dumbledore’s Army was still meeting, planning for the next battle that would probably end the war as a whole, and I had been invited to a meeting. I didn’t go. I didn’t want to go. To go to that meeting meant I wanted to fight. I didn’t want to fight. Not anymore. I crept around the corner of a corridor, heading back to the dungeons for the evening after classes when someone grabbed the hood of my cloak. I turned lazily in the direction of the grabber.

Harry looked rather upset. “We had a meeting.”

“I told you, I’m not doing this anymore.”

Harry punched me in the jaw, and I could feel it already beginning to bruise.

“You’re just going to give up?!”

I shook my head. “Not in the least.”

“Then why don’t you fight?”

“I already told you.” I closed my eyes and opened them slowly. “Call it… conscientious objecting.”

Harry seethed. “You’re chickening out!”

“No, I am not,” I finally raised my voice. I hadn’t spoken much above a mumble in weeks. “Look, just because your parents happened to die before you knew them doesn’t make you any better than me for wanting to do something about it. This isn’t my battle, Potter. It’s yours. I already told you – I can’t do this anymore.”

“But-“

“I’m leaving,” I finally stated, clearly and coldly. It reverberated off the cobblestone walls.

“…What?”

“I didn’t want to come right out and tell you,” I said softly, stepping over to him and guiding him further down the corridor. “I… thought about it a lot. Really, I did. I need to leave. I’m not fighting the war. I’m not even going to be involved in it, because, face it, Potter – no matter what side I’m on, someone is going to hurt people I care about. I’m stuck in the middle of this battle between Death Eaters and Order Members, and I know who I would choose, but I don’t even want the option. I just want to leave.”

Harry was a cross between infuriated and depressed. “…But… where… will you go?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I imagine I’ll hang around Muggle London for awhile, travel and such.”

Harry stammered. “B-but. No! You can’t! We need you!”

I placed both my hands on his shoulder and looked him in the eyes. “Harry. I’m done. Okay?”

Harry’s face screwed up, and I could see a couple of tears trying to well in his eyes. “S-so that’s it, eh? Just going to leave us? Just like that?”

I gave him a sorrowful smile. “Yes. Just like that.”

And with that, I pulled him into an embrace, clinging to him for just a few moments. “But I will miss you all. Please understand that it has nothing to do with you.”

Harry nodded. “I understand. I don’t have to like it though.”

I pulled back and grabbed Harry’s hand, placing something in his palm. “Hang on to it for me. You will have to return it to me one day. ”

I walked away.

(Narcissa Malfoy)

Severus sat across the long dining table, gazing at me, as if he was waiting for something… anything from me. And I honestly had no idea what I was going to say to him. He folded his long, bony fingers, looking at me through a dark veil of hair, sighing.

He actually spoke first. “I know what you’re thinking. I can see it in your eyes.”

I bit my lip. “Oh… oh really, Severus?” Well, I spoke. That was a start.

He nodded. “You made a mistake.”

I looked down at the table only to see that my hands were shaking. “I… might have.”

“You did. I did. We lost focus. We got selfish. Use whatever excuse you want. Either way, in the end, you still love your late husband, and your son, who has not spoken to you since, has probably been onto us for a long time. He hasn’t said much to me either – or anyone for that matter.”

“I know. I…” I let a few tears roll down my cheeks, and I was getting used to them by that point. “I can’t believe that I put myself before my son. It’s the entire reason I asked for your help, Severus… and look what’s happened.” I sobbed. “And I still love Lucius! But I don’t know why!”

There was a long silence between the two of us, and then Severus finally stood up.

“Cissa, I don’t regret my choices I made with you. I made them of my own free will, and though they may have been reckless and idiotic, they were my choices nonetheless. I have tried not to regret many choices I have made… not since…” he shook his head. “Nevermind. My point stands. Cissa, I understand your grief, and I will be there for you and your son until the world comes to an end.”

I sniffed, still unable to look at him.

“I’m leaving now,” he said softly. “I hope… perhaps, that one day, we can pick up where we left off.” As he walked past, he kissed my hand, then disappeared from my vision.

“Maybe,” I whispered to the room.

(Harry Potter)

Draco Malfoy disappeared the day before graduation. I was rather shocked that he didn’t bother to at least get his diploma of sorts from Hogwarts, but perhaps he wanted to take the opportunity to leave when no one was really paying any attention to him specifically. I could see Ginny looking for him with big brown eyes, and when she realized he wasn’t there, she curled up in the chair between Fred and George and seemed a little lost. Hermione was upon the stage at the moment, the valedictorian, not to anyone’s surprise.

“Crazy, isn’t it, mate?” Ron whispered to me as Hermione gave her expected speech to the crowd. “School is over.”

I nodded. “But we’ve got a lot more to do.”

There was something very bittersweet about the day, and the clouds were rolling in the sky, ready for a thunderstorm later that night. I closed my eyes. I certainly hope you know what you’re doing, Malfoy… and I hope you’re safe.

I reached into the pocket of my robes and clasped my fingers around the cold metal ring he had left me – Salazar Slytherin’s ring. “Hang on to it for me. You will have to return it to me one day. ” I knew what he meant. He was telling me to stay alive, and I was certain he wouldn’t take it back from anyone but me.

It’d been a hell of a year. As upset as I was at Draco for leaving, I was finally beginning to understand why he made his choice. Blaise Zabini, Pansy Parkinson, Lucius Malfoy, Salazar Slytherin – Draco was involved in all four deaths. To lose that many people, and then to commit a crime like that… it’d scare anyone away. Not to mention that Aurors were constantly investigating Malfoy Manor. Narcissa Malfoy seemed to have taken an oath of silence in order to protect her late husband’s dignity, and perhaps her own as well. She had not shown at graduation. I assumed Draco had let her know that he was leaving in some form or fashion – perhaps a letter, or maybe she walked into his room to find it completely empty.

It was rather depressing to think about it.

I had a dream that night. Draco Malfoy and I were standing on opposite sides of a room, the surface of the floor a reflective pool of water. And yet… there was something very calming about it. I could see strength in the young Malfoy’s eyes, and, somehow, I knew that he had made the right decision.

Godric Gryffindor stood between us.

“Sometimes true bravery is being able to walk away from the fight, Harry. In this next battle, you will face many foes. Be aware that killing is not always the answer.”

So Draco was right in some cases, and wrong in others.

He was no Gryffindor, that was for sure. But then again, that’s why he was sorted into Slytherin. He had made his choices, and I had made mine. I knew, either way he would support me, and when Gryffindor vanished in front of us, there he stood, with a soft but regal smile on his face.

He waved goodbye.

I woke up.

“Goodbye… for now.”

My dreams were always strange. I suppose we both had a hell of an imagination.

End Chapter Twenty-Five
.End.

(Author’s Note: So, this is the end. I was having difficulty finding a place to actually end it, but I kind of like where it stopped. I will say this now – there will not be a sequel – maybe a one-shot spinoff if I feel like it. Sorry if that bothers you! XD I don’t think it’s necessarily a happy ending, but it looks toward the future. I really don’t think I even know where Draco’s headed off to, but I’m sure he’ll return to the Wizarding World… one day. Anyway, I really want to thank you all SO MUCH for reading, and for all your kind reviews! I love you all, and please be well aware, that I’ll probably have another HP fanfic rolling right out soon. If you guys have any questions that you desperately need resolved, you’re welcome to ask! Lol! Thanks, again!)