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Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. Believe me, sometimes I'm glad that's so.
Author's Notes: There are two other things I should have worked on instead of this, but I have never claimed to have my priorities straight. I hope you can forgive me.
Warnings: Akuroku is very lightly hinted at, although it's so barely there that you could pass it off as them being friends and not even think twice about it.
Special Thanks To: Everyone who takes the time to leave feedback. It really helps, and I can't thank those of you who do so enough. This one goes out to you guys.
Shouldn’t call him boss anymore…
In any case, whatever it was that surrounded him, be it darkness or nothing, it seemed to go on forever. Eternal. That wasn’t possible. He had faded away, using the very last of his strength in one final attempt to do good rather than evil. He didn’t exist anymore.
I never really existed, though.
It was true, wasn’t it? He had never truly possessed a heart, although he had known (or merely been shown) what it was like. If that was so, where was he now? Did it really even matter? Had his self-sacrifice really helped anyone, anyway?
Is Roxas- no, Sora- all right?
It hurt, didn’t it? Not knowing. Xemnas could have killed the keybearer, and he would be none the wiser. Saix had, truly, bestowed the maximum punishment. By setting the stage for his inevitable return to the darkness, Saix had ensured that he would never see Roxas or Sora again.
Like freakin’ dominoes…
If he had never left the Organization, none of this would have happened. Saix wouldn’t have sent the legions of Dusks and lesser Nobodies, and he wouldn’t have been weakened so terribly by the time he met Sora for the last time. However sensible it sounded, it would have meant betraying Roxas. He could never do that.
He’ll defeat Xemnas.
Why was he so sure? It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered, save for the keybearer defeating what remained of Organization XIII and rescuing his friend, Kairi. The girl he had wronged.
Friend.
Had he ever known friendship? Yes. Despite what everyone said, he had found a friend in number XIII. Roxas. The Key of Destiny. His fellow Nobody. In light of keeping that friendship, finding himself a heart had not seemed as important. Deceiving the other Organization members became less difficult, and the ties of rank fell away.
Rank certainly doesn’t matter here.
Thus, thoughts came full circle. How could he still even think? He wasn’t alive. Then again, he never had been. So, was he dead? Could he die? He was just nothing. Always, he would be nothing. Why did that thought hurt so much? Was it even possible for him to feel pain? What a stupid question. Of course it was. This leaden feeling in his chest certainly attested to that.
Wait. Chest?
He opened his eyes. Everything was blurred. Distorted images of the past and the present blended together, making it nearly impossible to see. But he could see. Waves crashed against a sandy shore, creating a noise he was greatly surprised not to have noticed before. The sky stretched out forever before him, blue and full of light.
He found himself sighing. Was this a dream? It must have been. This was some kind of dream that was forcing him to believe that the last few seconds until his imaginary heart stopped beating were to last a lifetime. He had faded, though. That meant he couldn’t pretend to exist anymore. Then again, he could feel a gentle breeze playing through his hair and against his cheek.
Well, if this is a dream, I don’t want it to end.
He allowed himself to gaze up into the sky, simply marveling at its size. Who knew that the sky was so big, or so blue? It stretched across the world- no, scratch that. It covered all worlds.
Sky. Sora… Roxas.
Alas, even in this dream, Roxas was gone. He closed his eyes. What was the point in dreaming of an imaginary heart if he had no one to share it with?
“So, how long are you planning on laying there?”
His eyes flew open. That voice. He knew that voice. That wasn’t possible, though. He hadn’t heard that voice since…
He sat up, his eyes taking in the sight of a slim blond. Her black cloak had been traded for a blue summer dress, accenting the color of her cold eyes. Number XII. The Savage Nymph. She had faded. Well, then again, so had he.
“Larxene?”
“You do remember,” she smiled, the expression much warmer than he had ever seen it before. “What’s wrong? You look as though you’ve seen a ghost.”
Perhaps she wasn’t quite so different after all. He shook his head, forcing himself to look away. This wasn’t real. She wasn’t real. It was a dream. A damn good dream, mind you, but still a dream. He took a deep breath, holding his hands before his face. They looked solid enough, but that meant nothing. Even so, the salty scent of the ocean was now prevailing over his senses, and scent was something he had never experienced in dreams before.
“How?” he asked at last. He looked up, green eyes meeting blue as he caught her gaze with his own.
Larxene tilted her head to the side, smiling slightly. “How what?”
He swallowed. “How can I be dreaming all of this? You’re supposed to be dead. I’m supposed to be dead. We faded-”
“This is hardly a dream.” A new voice, although no less familiar than Larxene’s had been. He jumped, then forced himself to turn and face him. No, he hadn’t killed him. Not exactly. He had actually provoked the replica-puppet into committing that crime for him, but that distinction was easily forgotten. The Cloaked Schemer did not look surprised to see him. In fact, VI looked slightly amused. The anger and resentment he had expected to see in Zexion’s eyes strangely were absent. Zexion had also shed his cloak in exchange for different clothing. He wore black slacks and a white, button-up shirt. It was a little unnerving.
“Of course it isn’t a dream! You’d never think something like this up on your own,” Larxene laughed, poking his forehead. He frowned. As annoying as it was to admit even to himself, she had a point. This world didn’t feel like a dream. But what else could it be? He had faded. He was dead. Dead, dead, dead! Unless…
“Is this some kind of afterlife?” he asked, gesturing to the area around them. It was a ridiculous and random thought, but…
“He’s not completely hopeless. I think we’ll keep him,” Larxene said cheekily. Zexion crossed his arms.
“That’s hardly your choice to make, Larxene.”
She giggled, rolling her eyes. He stared at them. What? This was the afterlife? Nobodies were allowed an afterlife? That didn’t seem likely, but as it seemed that this wasn’t a dream and Zexion and Larxene were convinced, he could try to accept it. Maybe. With time, anyway.
“This doesn’t look much like the Underworld to me,” he grumbled, looking out toward the sea once more. Many different plants grew along the beach, varying from palm trees to exotic flowers that came in many different flavors of color. “It’s far too…”
“Beautiful? Thank Marluxia. He planted quite a bit of the foliage around here.” Larxene laced her fingers together. He shook his head disbelievingly.
“Marluxia is here, too?”
“As are Lexaeus, Vexen, Xaldin, and Demyx. You are our newest arrival.” Zexion looked rather smug. He frowned.
“Are we the only ones? Just… Nobodies?”
Larxene blinked at him, then laughed. Somehow, the response made him feel like a small child being chastised by its older siblings. “Of course not! Do you honestly think our previous lives matter here? Don’t tell me! You still think you’re a Nobody, don’t you?”
He flinched, taken aback. What was that supposed to mean? Of course he was a Nobody! Nobodies can’t become Somebodies. It wasn’t possible. Right?
“Place your hand against your chest,” Zexion instructed quietly. “Close your eyes and calm yourself. Tell me, what do you feel?”
He quirked an eyebrow at the demand, but did as he was told. Zexion was being incredibly civil toward him, considering all that he had done. He could oblige the man’s wishes, however odd they might have been. For now, anyway.
He took a deep breath, once more searching the darkness of his eyelids for something he didn’t understand. What did Zexion expect him to feel? He couldn’t feel. That was the point. He couldn’t hope to-
Tha-thump. Tha-thump. Tha-thump.
He jerked his hand away from his chest, eyes flying open once more. That! That was-
“You mean… I have… How is it possible? I’m not supposed to have a heart!” he exclaimed, looking from Larxene to Zexion incredulously.
“Jeez, don’t be ungrateful,” Larxene murmured, tsking at him.
“Ungrateful!”
“We don’t understand why it happened.” Zexion’s voice was calm, but the slight annoyance was still evident. It was obvious that the lack of knowledge irked the slate-haired man to no end. “It did happen, however. You will come to understand.”
“At least get off your butt and come see the others!” Larxene grinned, all but waltzing down a path he had not noticed before. He stared after her. This was too much. He was certain that he couldn’t take it in. He had just died, and now he was expected to face an afterlife? Who in their right-of-mind could cope with that? His thoughts were interrupted by the hand that was now extended before him. He blinked at it, then fallowed its length up to its owner. Zexion smiled slightly.
“Consider this a new start. No grudges, no sins, no debt. Everything is forgiven. Well, save for perhaps were Vexen is concerned.”
He swallowed. A new start, huh? He didn’t believe it. wouldn’t that mean giving up what he had had before? He didn’t really have a choice. Or, rather, he had already chosen. Sacrificing his former life for Sora was worth it, whether it had assisted the boy or not. Despite that, he couldn’t quite let go.
“Will… Will Roxas ever come here?” The words were whispered. It had taken nearly all of the will power he possessed to speak them aloud, and he knew that he wouldn’t have been able to repeat them. Zexion lowered his gaze. He felt his heart drop like a heavy stone in a pool of water. Funny. He had always thought it would have been more pleasant to possess one. Zexion met his eyes with his one visible one, a hint of a smile playing at his features.
“Nothing is certain,” he said lightly. He paused, taking in his reaction before continuing, “Although, if he shared the connection you most obviously feel toward him, then I’d say that he will. In due time, of course.”
The pressure on his heart disappeared, nearly immediately being replaced with a sense of elation. He grinned, barely suppressing a laugh. “Good. That’s… good. More than good. That’s perfect.”
Zexion tilted his head to the side, quite obviously analyzing his every move. His change in mood probably wasn‘t normal, but he didn‘t care. Not if he got to see Roxas again. “Ready to go?
“Yeah, I think so.” He took Zexion’s hand, allowing him to help him up. The other relaxed somewhat, as though he had just passed a test he had not been aware he had been participating in.
“Welcome home, Axel.”
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