Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: I wrote this sometime ago, I finally feel like sharing it now.

It was moments like these that made John wonder how it was he was able to resist her. She was looking at him sleepily, he loved that look, and it filled his heart with joy and made him want to kiss her. He had never told her this, and probably never would, but she was the only really constant thing in his life. After the X-Files had caved in she was all he had, and it was something that he held onto when he had nothing else to hold onto. He liked the connection that they had, it was a good one, though they were still somewhere between friends and lovers. It was almost frustrating the game that they played. For every step forward he took she took one back, and visa-versa.

Monica stretched out on his sofa and closed her eyes again. She was a woman who didn’t need much sleep, but she liked to enjoy the sleep that she did get. He smiled at her and then ran his fingers through her hair. A smile crept across her lips and she kept her eyes closed but reached out for his hand.

This was one of those moments they had that confused him. He was never sure what it was with her. She’d pushed him away then she’d pulled him closer. She sent mixed signals and he wasn’t able to decipher which ones she wanted him to get. He took her hand and brought it up to his lips, then kissed it a few times. Her eyes flew open and she looked at him, he had surprised her, he liked that.

“John, what’re you doing?” she asked him. He started kissing his way up her arm and when he reached her shoulder he looked up at her. For a moment he thought she would push him away, and storm away angrily, but she didn’t. Her eyes were closed and she was biting her lower lip. He looked at her for a moment then moved his lips to her neck. She moaned as he gently nipped at her skin with his teeth.

“John, why are you doing this,” she asked him. Her fingers were in his hair and she was looking down at him. He was still crouched down next to where she was lying on the couch. Her eyes spoke of all the emotions she refused to speak of; they filled him with desire and passion.

“I’m tired of pretending there is nothing between us,” John said. He put his hand on the back of her head and looked at her for a few moments, deciding that she had nothing against what he was doing. Her eyes darted down to his lips and she closed her eyes and he closed the gap between their lips.

“Maybe I’m not,” Monica said. A grin played across her lips and she looked away, trying to pretend that she didn’t want it, but it was useless. John grinned and kissed her again, this time crushing his lips to hers and running his tongue across her lips. John pulled himself up onto the couch and then covered her body with his.

“C’mon, Mon, you think I can’t see the desire in your eyes?” he teased. She giggled as he teased his tongue over her neck and then wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Stop, we shouldn’t be doing this,” Monica said. John did stop but he did not move off of her. She looked into his eyes and he could see that she was wagging a war with herself. There was nothing he could do to change her mind, but he wanted to.

“Why not, Monica? What have we got to lose?” John asked her. His words were spoken wisely and she looked away from him. His lips went back to her neck and he unbuttoned her shirt, then kissed his way down her chest, undoing one button at a time. He wanted to kiss her all over, but she was still unsure if she wanted him to.

“John…” Monica said. Her voice trailed off slowly and she pulled him up so she was looking into his eyes. They were so blue and in them she saw that he meant it, and it wasn’t just about the sex. It was about her. She looked at him and decided it was okay, she then kissed him again, her lips just barely brushing against his. He pushed her shirt off of her shoulders, then ran his hands along her warm skin. His hands were rough against her soft skin and she suddenly craved more. She wanted more. More of him. More of his kisses and more of his skin on hers, she never wanted to let go of him. Monica said his name again, but this time she moaned in and leaned her head back. Her eyes were closed and she was tightly gripping his shoulders.

His body was against hers and she wanted to badly to tear his clothes off but she couldn’t undo the buttons fast enough. He kissed his way down her chest and undid her pants, pushing them off of her body in one swift motion. With one hand John spread her thighs apart and began to kiss her again. His lips lingered on her warm skin and his tongue left trails as he moved deeper into her thighs.

Her breathing had quickened as he slipped her panties off and then stood up to remove his jeans. Monica watched him finish undressing then pulled him on top of her. He covered her body with his and kissed her. She felt so small in his arms, small yet warm. He wanted to never let her go, maybe he wouldn’t have to. They made love, holding each other tightly, their hips moving in perfect rhythm to each other. Monica dug her nails into his shoulders and arched her back. They climaxed together, not bothering to silence their cries of pleasure, then collapsed onto the couch.

“Thanks,” Monica mumbled into his chest. John looked at her and grinned.

“For what?”

“Making me stay.” John smiled and kissed her forehead then pulled the blanket off of the back of the couch and threw it over their entangled bodies. Monica smiled and closed her eyes, then fell asleep in his arms.

END