Kisses and Heartaches

Chapter 16: Yep, Today Sucks

….

Once a long time ago, Jiraiya was looking for some material for his newest book. He traveled far and wide, stopping only to rest and “meditate” on his objective. Then soon he came across a strange thing, a young woman wandering from place to place. It intrigued him, her looks helped as well. So when he caught up to her, they had a chat.

“Love potions?” the white haired pervert asked.

The woman nodded, “It can be adjusted to what the user wants, but it can be canceled by a poison.”

Jiraiya stopped writing in his journal, to stare at her. “A poison?”

She nodded, “True loves kiss.” She opened her bag and showed him a small weed, it was pretty. “It’s a rare weed, grows only in the darkest of forests. “

Jiraiya stared at her for a moment. “Exactly how can the love potion be adjusted?”

The woman seemed to smile for a moment before she began to tell him a tale, a tale he rewrote in to a best selling dirty novel.

….

Shikamaru wondered and pondered. His teammates were staring at him expectantly as they usually did when he went into thinking mode. They would stand or sit there quietly, occasionally one would wander off only to return several minutes later.

…….

Fast forward quite a bit

Lee and Tenten stood outside the apartment complex that Sasuke was living in currently with Kakashi. The two of them had been ordered to meet with Sasuke while Neji stayed home.

“This will be fun.”

Lee glanced at Tenten. That hadn’t exactly been his trail of thought, but he’d run with it. Taking a deep breath the two of them walked up the stairs.

…

Kakashi was not a morning person.

If he was able to, he slept for an insane amount of time. This meant that for quite a while, Sasuke was left to wander the apartment alone, with out any ability to leave.

So Sasuke did what any teenager did, he watched TV till there was nothing but a numbness in his brain.

Then there was the knock on the door.

Sasuke looked away from the TV curious as to who would be interrupting his approved brain damage. It could be a fan girl or someone else.

…

“If Sasuke does not open the door...”

Tenten shrugged at Lee’s question. “There’s always force lethal.”

“Lethal force?” Lee questioned.

Tenten nodded, that was the force she would use. She could have been at home training but instead here she was, knocking on Sasuke’s door.

“If he does answer?” Lee asked.

“Then we tell him about the plan.” Tenten reminded.

“If he asks about why Hinata and Shino are together...”

Tenten rolled her eyes, “Kiba screwed up somewhere.” At Lee’s disbelief Tenten continued. “It’s Kiba, he’s brain dead.”

…

The mother of Hana and Kiba was taken aback when both of her children began telling her about something interesting.

“Hinata is in love with Sasuke.” Hana announced as she entered the house, returned from some previous duty.

“She is not!!! She’s just infected!!” Kiba screamed back.

“Don’t know, she did kiss him.” Hana countered.

“Cause she’s infected!!” Kiba screamed back even louder.

“Right…” Hana agreed in disbelief.

“She is, that’s why she and Shino kissed, and then he kidnapped her and did awful things to her!!” Kiba screamed causing his mother and sister to stare at him. “It’s fucking true!!”

“Language.” His mother reminded.

“So Hinata’s in love with Shino now…” Hana questioned.

“No...Shino got infected then kissed Hinata cause it was his idea to cancel the infection, but, that didn’t work cause he kidnapped her.” Kiba rambled slightly. “It was his idea to kiss her, so I held her down while he did, but instead he groped her.”

His mothers and sisters eyes widened.

…

Sasuke stared at Lee and Tenten both were waiting for him to let him in. Apparently that was not what Sasuke had in mind.

“Hinata and Shino are together now.”

Lee and Sasuke stared at Tenten with wide eyes.

“Apparently Kiba said some things and then she agreed with him, and Shino appeared to look better to her with Kiba’s logic.”

“Kiba.” Sasuke said.

“Yep.” Lee continued to stare at her with wide eyes as she answered Sasuke.

…..

Aburame Shibi and Hyuga Hiashi were staring at each other while their children stared at them, one with wide eyed horror, and the other with sincere and infected calm.

“Your son wishes to wed my daughter.” Hiashi stated in disbelief.

“He does.” Shibi answered.

Both turned to look at their children, then back at each other.

“She has two suitors…” Hiashi reminded.

“She does, one is my son.” Shibi reminded.

There was a long pause in the air before Shino broke it.

“Hinata and I kissed”

Both of them stared at Shino, attempting to rationalize what was happening.

……

“The poison is a weed that grows in the darkest of forests?” Tsunade questioned.

Jiraiya nodded. “It’s a weed.”

Tsunade stared at him, “A poison I have never heard about is a cure to a love potion that should never exist.”

Jiraiya nodded again. “There is that forest...its dark.”

Tsunade stared at him for a lengthy moment. “Do you remember what it looks like?”

The white haired pervert thought for a moment, he really couldn’t remember what it looked like, only that it was weed with a blue flower. “A weed with a blue flower.” He had realized he had remembered.

Tsunade stared at him, she was completely stunned. “A weed with a blue flower?”

Jiraiya stared at her. “Yes, a weed with a blue flower.”

With that Tsunade decided to walk away and read every single medical text book in her possession.

………..

Neji while not allowed in the room, was allowed to wait outside were he could hear the awkward conversations inside. Which were quite awkward.

“You kissed.” Voice one asked.

“We did, it was quite enjoyable.” That was Shino’s voice.

“Um...” his cousins.

“This is a sensitive matter, it will be awhile before I make my decision.” His uncle’s voice.

“Bu...but...Sasuke-kun…” His cousin. “I...that is...Shino-kun...we...it wasn’t l-like...”

“It is amusing how you jest with me.” Shino’s voice.

Neji was quite pleased, it was a strange conversation.

….

“Hinata is in love with me.”

Tenten nodded. “She was...then Kiba convinced her that Kiba was better.”

“Shino is not better than me.” Sasuke countered.

“If you say so.” Tenten mused.

“I do say so.” Sasuke firmly reminded. “In fact I will speak to Hinata in person.”

“You go do that.” Tenten agreed.

“I will.” Sasuke agreed before he left the apartment, with Tenten and Lee still standing in the doorway. Lee continued to stare at Tenten with wide eyes.

….

Shikamaru stood back up and stretched from his thinking pose. “There is a cure, we simply need the potion.” His teammates stared at him for a moment. “Also the book that Jiraiya wrote on this subject to identify what true loves kiss really is.”

Ino stared at him, till Choji spoke. “Asuma has a copy.”

…..