How to drive Eragon crazy in 22 steps

Disclaimer: i do not own Eragon because if i did you would be reading this in the book; not on this

When he is confused, say: ask Brom…seem shocked that Brom is dead

Say that sapphire is a girly color… & it’s perfect for him

Compare and contrast him & Murtagh; Murtagh’s hot…fine…strong…

Compare and contrast him & Orik; Orik’s strong…that’s all I can think of…

Call him a stupid blonde (thought he was a brunette)

Ask continuously if you can ride Saphira…when he caves in, go & pimp his ride!(w/ her permission o/c, make sure it’s not permanent!!

Tell him he will be lonely forever…b/c he can’t get over Arya

Say that you saw Saphira and Thorn…together…alone…

unsupervised…after watching a chick flick movie marathon…

you know…those movies when someone is making out every 3 scenes…

& then add that they were arguing over how big of an idiot he is

Tell him that Murtagh is going out w/ Arya

Paint a cat red & scream Eragon “i captured thorn!!”

when he comes running, show cat

run

While he is listening to the forest around him…squash ants & say oops

continuing #4: he has a wife which means he is “husband material”…ewww

Scream any given time; say that you saw either Brom or Durza

While he talks to you, zone out. When he asks you what, say Murtagh is soooo much hotter than him

While he is asleep, cover him with Saphira’s food scraps; when he asks you why, tell him you are doing an art project, you decide to call it: Dumb sleep hard

While Saphira is out on her hunting trips; find a big stone…paint it like this blue-red color (that makes purple, doesn’t it?), polish it, bring the stone to Eragon once it dried & shiny. Tell him that you found the stone while going through Saphira’s hideaway when Thorn comes over. Comment how it looks kinda like an egg & how Saphira has been moody & looks a little bit on the plump side.

Watch reaction. Then see what he says to Saphira when she gets back. 