|This Whole 'Love' Thing!
Author: aNdreaa PM
She cried back, “What do you mean? YOU KISSED ME! UGH.” Sakura did not believe in love. Especially Speed Dating. Sasuke had to convince her. SasuSaku. OneShot. AU.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Sasuke U. & Sakura H. - Words: 3,522 - Reviews: 119 - Favs: 372 - Follows: 31 - Published: 08-04-07 - Status: Complete - id: 3702836
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Hey all. Just a note before we start.
The following symbol represents a line break: (It's the Kanji symbol for FIVE. I think.)
"Five minutes," Sakura insisted.
"No, stupid. The whole time! How else are you going to meet anyone?"
"My point exactly."
'Speed Dating' was probably invented by the lamest and most unorthodox scum ever.
It was the exact amount of time that Sakura planned on attending this 'Speed Dating' convention. Apparently, once a month, the city held some sort of get together for single teens to pair up for five minutes at a time to pour out their life story and to see if you really connected.
It wasn't as though Sakura didn't believe in love at first sight. Of course she did. Just…not for her. Or Ino, for that matter, who had gone on at least ten dates in the last two months. That girl was desperate.
"Sakura," Ino said in one of her frequent stern tones, "you can't just stay for five minutes. That's only the duration of one date."
"And who said I wanted to date anyone?" Sakura snorted, suddenly taking great interest in scoffing at the very idea.
"Me," Ino deadpanned. She dug through her closet for another moment before pulling out a dress and holding it up against her shoulders.
"What do you think? Blue? Matches my eyes, right?"
Sakura feigned her interest. "Oh, definitely, Ino!"
The blonde scowled and balled up the dress, tossing it at Sakura with surprising bullet-like speed.
"You are coming with me whether you like it or not. And you are not going home with out at least one guy's number!"
"Five minutes with a guy isn't worth giving him your phone number," Sakura muttered under her breath.
"Well, we're desperate."
"Correction- you're desperate."
"So, yeah. I work out everyday to muscle up on these guns and sometimes, when I feel like it, I'll take my Ferrari out for a spin. You know, catch some fresh air."
Sakura had reserved a special array of her fakest and pearly smiles for this guy. He was actually wearing a tuxedo with the complete bow tie and cuff links look. The moment she saw him walk in, he had flashed her one of those toothpaste ad grins when she inwardly cringed at before politely showing off her molars at him.
He was casually leaning back with his arms stretched out behind his head looking as though he had won her already.
"So, babe. Can I get your number or what?"
Babe? What the—
"Time to switch," came the announcer's voice, "The five minutes is up! Gents, please politely gather your numbers and go to the table to your right!"
"Oh, will you look at that!" Sakura said in an expressive voice, though her face remained fake and pearly. "Time to go! See you later."
The guy frowned dejectedly before getting up and moving on.
Sakura chewed on her lip as she mulled over her failed date. He was a complete moron- he had literally used up nearly all of the five minutes talking about himself. It was only the last four seconds that he asked for her number that his attention was focused on her.
Sakura gagged at the thought of anyone dating him.
Sakura's head snapped up at the sudden voice. She had completely forgotten there was someone else across from her.
"Oh, s-sorry. Haruno Sakura," she said quickly, sticking her hand to shake across the table with the sudden arrival.
"Uchiha Sasuke," he said tonelessly, taking her hand.
"So," Sakura began awkwardly, "come here often?"
Oh, dear God. The boy looked as if he wanted to kill her. Black hair, black eyes, and a handsome face Ino was sure to die for. He was carrying a jacket- a nice looking one- and was wearing a dark gray button-up. If it weren't for the potential and lingering smirk on his face, Sakura would have agreed that he looked rather dashing.
Sakura nodded along. "Uh…that's interesting."
Conversation killer, Sakura scowled inwardly.
"So, any hobbies?" she tried again. Crap. That fake smile was kicking in again.
"Not in particular."
Sakura sighed exasperatedly. How frustrating could a guy get?
"Look," she said, "We only have five minutes, and since I'm in your murderous company, it'd be great if you made it worthwhile at the very least."
Sasuke stared at her, and then smirked.
"You're in a hurry too?" he asked.
Sakura blinked, surprised. Had she made it that obvious? Well, she was definitely in a hurry to leave, that was for sure.
He seemed to have read her mind though, because he spoke again.
"You've been on the edge of your seat since you got here. And you're holding your purse in your lap- a definite sign that you're ready to jump and go."
"You noticed all that?" she muttered guiltily.
"That, and when you came in with your friend, I thought I heard you say, 'Stupidest thing I've ever gone to'."
Sakura flushed slightly in embarrassment. She hadn't exactly been soft-spoken when she was grumbling to Ino.
"You noticed me when I walked in?" she asked, curious.
"Pink is not the most natural hair color," Sasuke replied smoothly.
Sakura felt the ends of her mouth perk up into a smile.
"Bye," Sakura said nonchalantly. Sasuke raised his eyebrow.
"That was the bell," Sakura explained. "You have to go to the next table."
"Who said?" Sasuke asked.
Sakura tried hard not to smile. "You're actually enjoying our conversation?"
Stupid chicken-haired Uchiha.
"Uh…excuse me," a boy said, tapping Sasuke on the shoulder, "I think we're supposed to switch."
"Really?" Sasuke said, half amused. He didn't look at the boy who was waiting.
Sakura smothered a grin and caught Ino's eye who was across the room. The blonde girl winked at her and pointed at Sasuke, giving him a thumbs up behind his back.
"Well, I'd like to stay here, so why don't you skip over me and move on to the girl next to us," Sasuke suggested forcibly.
"But…that's not the way it's supposed to work," the boy said dumbly.
"You've got five seconds," Sasuke said in an expressionless tone. He trailed off, leaving the rest open to interpretation. The boy scampered.
Sakura raised an eyebrow. "Treat everyone like that, moron?" She asked lightly, adding the insult at the end as if it were a very polite name.
"Only when they annoy me, loser," Sasuke replied, also insulting her politely.
Another awkward pause.
"Am I annoying you, moron?"
"You might be, loser."
Okay, if this wasn't flirtatious teasing, Sakura didn't know what it qualified as.
The boy was a complete lunatic! He looked as though he could snap someone's neck, and he didn't seem to have a gentle funny bone in his entire body.
And even when he did "flirtatiously tease" her, his voice never seemed to carry a single wave of emotion. It was simple monotone.
"No more questions?" Sasuke asked after a few minutes.
Sakura appraised him. He was challenging her.
"Gents! Please leave the ladies with a number and file on, please! Switch tables for all couples! All!"
Sasuke ignored yet another bell, forcing another beet-faced boy to skip over them.
Sakura inwardly sympathized, but accepted Sasuke's mini challenge.
"Hm…okay," Sakura said, tossing her purse to the side and leaning forward. Sasuke did the same. (Well, not tossing the purse, because he didn't have one. But he leaned forward.)
"Favorite color," Sakura said briskly.
"Blue. Favorite food."
"Cupcakes, but not the ones with artificial icing. Favorite book."
"Fight Club. Favorite movie."
"Don't have one. Favorite place."
"Roofs. Favorite actor."
"There's no favorite actor if there's no favorite movie," Sakura replied smoothly, "Favorite drink."
"I don't drink," Sasuke said, "Favorite joke."
"You," Sakura said hiding her laughter as Sasuke glared at her. She ignored it.
So it went on.
And on. Countless question after question- they must have skipped over ten stupid DINGs already- even when the announcer requested that they had to switch. Sasuke had just simply glared and they were left alone.
"Bad habit," Sakura continued.
"Anger issues," Sasuke said begrudgingly, "Your bad habit?"
Sakura thought for a moment. "Stubbornness. That, and I don't believe in a lot of things."
"Like what, the Easter Bunny?"
Sakura smiled and shook her head.
"Like what?" he asked again, a little more serious.
"Oh," she said faintly, a little taken aback that he was trying to pursue the answer. "Um…"
"Like what?" Sasuke repeated.
Sakura's eyes had slightly widened. The expression on his face was now far from anything remotely joking.
"I…I don't know," she managed. "This kind of stuff, I guess. Speed Dating."
He frowned at her. "What, you don't believe in dating?"
"I guess you could say that…" Sakura said, trailing off. She swallowed.
"You don't believe in…"
Realization finally set in for the Uchiha. He blinked, frowning.
Sasuke had started the question asking it like a question, but when he ended it, it was more of a statement.
An awful statement, once it reached Sakura's ears.
You don't believe in love.
For a second, Sakura had thought she'd gone deaf because the ringing in her ears couldn't have been natural, but the shock quickly wore off. She didn't know what to say.
She really didn't know what to say.
The tension was almost unbearable- his eyes were burning a hole through her! If there was anyone who could do a death glare, it was him.
And there Sasuke was, sitting three feet away from her, still waiting for her answer.
"Switching time, gents! To the right, to the right!"
Literally saved by the bell, Sakura thought. Now I've got to get—
"Haruno," came his voice.
Sakura's face snapped up. Why was he still here?
"What?" she said quickly.
"You don't believe in love."
Statement, this time. Definite statement.
"I-I never said—"
"But do you?"
Sakura, pink in the face, gathered her coat and purse and stood up. "It was nice talking to you," she said stiffly, and went to go find Ino.
Sasuke immediately chased after her, grabbing her by the arm.
"Sakura," he said, firmly, "Answer me!"
"Why is it so important?!" Sakura almost shrieked. "It's not like anyone we meet here tonight is going to be our future spouse or something! Five minutes isn't nearly enough time to…to…"
The whole place had stopped their conversing and were staring at the both of them. The announcer was wide eyed, the fist on his announcing microphone, tight.
Sasuke's grip on her arm was burning like mad. She yanked free and hissed the last part, "Five minutes is not enough time to fall in love with someone."
Some girl gasped in the background.
Ignoring the fact that they had spent nearly an hour instead of the standard five minutes, she stalked off in between a couple's table and marched toward Ino who was with some spiky-haired guy.
"Sorry for interrupting," Sakura muttered to the boy, "Ino, I'm going home."
"I'll drive you," she immediately whispered, getting up.
"No," Sakura insisted, "You've got a date. Stay here. Home's only a ten minute walk. I'll be fine."
Ino bit her lip. "If you're sure…"
Sakura nodded quickly, turned on her heel and walked out of the room.
Inwardly exasperated, Sakura picked up her pace. Her face was still bright red from the embarrassment he'd caused her back at the Speed Dating place. Like hell she was going to talk to him now!
Indeed, Sasuke had chased after her. Catching up to her, he grabbed her by the elbow, forcing her to turn around.
"C'mon, Haruno," he said evenly, "you can't be serious."
"About what?" she said through gritted teeth.
"This whole 'love' theory you have here."
"You're a boy," Sakura spat, "I thought you were the ones who'd actually agree with me!"
"Well, there's something you got wrong," Sasuke said, struggling to keep a hold of her arm. She was flailing around quite boisterously that passerby were giving them strange looks.
"Stop that!" he growled when Sakura finally punched him in the shoulder.
"You let go of me!" she hissed. "I don't have to do with any of your stupid—"
"So I guess 'crushes' are stupid things to you as well," he said, ignoring her.
What do you know. Another statement.
"Only to me," she said, hitting him again to try and get free, "I don't care if everyone around suddenly drops what they're doing and elopes. God, everyone knows that crushes and love aren't the way they are in movies! LET ME GO!"
She fiercely kicked at him, but Sasuke dodged it.
"A little pessimistic, isn't it?" he remarked.
She finally stopped struggling as she seemed to have run out of effort.
"Please let me go," she sighed. Instead, Sasuke pulled her to a mere foot away from his face.
A rather flawless face.
Sakura felt her ears glow red and she scowled, staring at anywhere but at the boy in front of her.
"You're invading my personal space," she growled. Again, he ignored her.
"So, if I were, to say, kiss you right now, you still wouldn't believe in crushes."
Sasuke had been dangerously straddling a line, and now, he had just crossed it. Actually, he had crossed it, and then skipped his way to the fifty feet mark.
"If you were to kiss me right now," Sakura answered extra sweetly, "I would knee you in the stomach."
"Hn," Sasuke said, with a hint of smirk on his lips.
The same lips, by the way, which he immediately brought down upon Sakura's very surprised ones.
Very, very surprised.
Sakura's mind drew a blank when Sasuke kissed her. Her first reaction was to slap him, but soon realized he had a rather firm grip on both her wrists.
So she kneed him in the stomach.
"YOU! YOU MORON!" She cried.
Sasuke let out a stream of obscenities before yelling, "Whatever, loser! What the hell was that for?!"
Sakura gasped at his audacity, wiping her mouth on the back of her sleeve as if it was contaminated.
"'What the hell was that for?!'" She cried back, "What do you mean?! YOU KISSED ME! UGH!"
She tried kicking him again, but he dodged, so she swore at him. An old couple that was walking passed them scowled disapprovingly.
"We didn't even—" she spluttered, red faced, still frantically wiping at her mouth, "—go on a date or anything! You just- UGH!"
"Actually," Sasuke said, "if you count each five minutes as one date, we went on several."
Sakura glared at him.
Sasuke walked a little closer to her once he sensed she'd calmed down.
"Are you really mad?"
"Yes," she scowled.
Sakura had already begun walking in the opposite direction.
That Uchiha was despicable! Beneath that flawless visage and monotone was clearly a stupid, ego-infested, brainless git!
Lalalalala! Ignoring you!
"Oh, that's really mature."
As it turned out, Sasuke followed her throughout the entire ten minute walk to her flat. She had promptly slammed the door behind her, and locked it, not bothering to turn on the porch light or any other lights.
Sasuke, she knew, was still standing out there in the dark.
Definitely a brainless git.
But the gesture was nice of him. Sasuke, who had seemed so far off and aloof when they had first met, was now acting like a very sorry boyfriend and to repent, was standing in front of her house, unmoving, until she came out. Well, that or called the police.
And calling the police was seeming like a better and better idea every passing moment.
Sakura's face was still bright red and hot- she could feel it. And her lips weren't doing any better. There was a funny tingling sensation on them as if someone had pressed both ice and hot water against it at the same time.
However, beneath the boiling pit of anger at him for kissing her out of the blue was a doubtful and self-beating-up feeling of how sweet it was.
Sakura frowned. That was a danger zone.
He was still standing there.
It must have been at least twenty minutes before Sakura swallowed enough of her pride to look out the window where she had last seen him standing.
Sure enough, she made out a tall and familiar spiky-headed-silhouetted blob.
Still standing exactly where she had left him.
Sakura bit her lip and sighed.
"…And you are not going home with out at least one guy's number!"
"Five minutes with a guy isn't worth giving him your phone number," Sakura muttered under her breath.
Five minutes was still not enough time with a guy to give him a phone number. This, Sakura knew.
But what about a little more time than that?
What about a little more than an hour with a guy?
She left her spying spot at the window and leaned against the door, thinking.
Sakura snapped up the switch of the porch light and the immediate brightness flooded in. She slowly grasped the doorknob and pulled it open two inches' width.
She rolled her eyes as she saw the slightest hint of a smirk fall upon Sasuke's lips as he caught sight of her face through the door crack.
Pulling it open a little wider, Sakura stuck her hand out, palm up.
Sasuke seemed to have pre-read her mind because he immediately dropped a little piece of paper containing his phone number into her outstretched fingers.
With another one of his now trademark smirking smiles, he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his coat, turned around, and left quietly off of her porch.
"Moron," Sakura whispered under her breath. The retaliation followed.
Sakura beamed and snapped her door shut. Once again, she leaned against it and glanced at Sasuke's phone number.
Maybe, just maybe, she'd give this whole 'crush' thing a shot.
And maybe after that, this whole 'love' thing.
Yay. Another (somewhat) long one-shot. I like this speed-dating idea somehow. Ever since I saw that scene in Hitch (the movie), I couldn't get it out of my head. Although I didn't really like that movie, Hitch. Hm.
Sasuke's way OC. That's okay.
Fluffy SasuSaku goodness. Not necessarily supposed to have a fairy-tale ending, but I still liked it.
By the way, I was listening to "See You Again" by Miley Cyrus while I was writing this. Hohohoho.
PLEASE REVIEW! It would mean the world to me!