Here's the order the story will go in: Sam, Patrick, Double D, Illidan, and then I need more suggestions.

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Upon a television the channel was changed and what the viewer saw was Homer Simpson in his underwear (To better show off his tattoos of course)! "Are we on-air yet?" Homer asked to the camera. Realizing he was, Homer walked up the camera and cleared his throat. He picked up a card with his lines written on them. "Look at camera. Hi, I'm Homer Simpson and I are opening up my own tattoo shop. Show off your tattoos." He said and then flexed his arms.

"To show you how good I am at tattooing stuff I will tattoo me! Say 'Isn't that right Tattoo Pig?' to tattoo pig." Homer continued. Then he pulled out a tattoing machine and stuck the needle into a jelly doughnut so it was covered in jelly for ink. "Its completely painless." He added before turning on the tattoo machine. "OOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHH! I mean, that sure was painless." Homer screamed. Now on his arm there was an insane scribble that sort of looked like Abraham Lincoln. "Get up and walk forward." The idiot said. Homer then tripped on his jelly doughnut and landed on his back with a "thud". Moaning in pain he continued to lay there. "We've got real cheap prices."

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Short I know but stay tuned for Sam's chapter. Its hilarious.