Author’s Note: I lost all my notes on this story when my computer crashed, so I’m trying to write the rest of my plot from memory. I’m sorry it took so long. School has been murder. Please forgive me for any typos. I just got a new computer to replace my old one, and the keyboard is a lot different than what I’m used to. I’m thinking of having a sequel…please review and tell me what you think!

Chapter Six

The rain pounded against the glass, and Remus watched in a numb stupor as the drops descended slowly down the window. It had been raining for what seemed like weeks now and Remus was tired of the gloom that came with it. He wished that it would snow. Snow wasn’t half so depressing as rain, neither were the memories that accompanied it.
He’d been stuck in a gloom since Halloween. And he’d been so determined to be happy. It hadn’t helped much that he’d cut his lesson with Tonks almost entirely. Her cheerful disposition could always make him feel better, and the lack of time spent with her took a surprising toll on his mood.

Remus was waiting for her now. Tonks had approached him after Defense, asking for some help explaining the Protean Charm theory to her. He’d offered to help her that very moment, but she’d insisted that she had to get to class and that it would be better to meet her later-perhaps before dinner-their usual lesson time. He couldn’t ignore the fact that it did seem as thought she actually missed having their lessons so often. For some reason, of which he either wasn’t entirely sure or he just didn’t feel like admitting it, he wanted to tell her that he felt the same way. But he’d held his tongue, smiled, and agreed to meet with her.

He had to admit to himself, he was very nervous. Since his little revelation on Halloween, he had made it a point to never be alone with Tonks for more than a few moments at a time. She had inquired on more than one occasion as to why he had cut back their lessons. He had nervously replied that he had been very busy with all the papers he needed to grade. (This was, of course, a lie. Remus taught in more of a practical manner, and not so much with homework and essays.) Also, because he saw how wonderfully she had been doing in class, and knew that she really didn’t need much more help. His heart had almost broken as she had nodded sadly, and shuffled away.

Remus didn’t notice as the door opened with a slight creak and quiet footsteps approached. Hand on his chin, he continued to gaze out the window, eyes glazed over. A fake cough brought him back to reality. He looked up at the figure standing before him. She wore her brown hair very short today, and he was surprised at how nice it looked on her.

"Hello," Tonks offered, swaying slightly on the spot. Remus smiled as Tonks blushed and looked down, her long lashes blinking slowly. Remus, who was suddenly having a hard time breathing, cleared his throat soundly."How are you?" Remus asked, standing up and making his way around his desk to stand next to her. Tonks nodded at him, raising the book she held in her hand.

"I’m fine," she smiled. "Thanks," she added as an afterthought. Remus sighed, running a hand through his somewhat messy hair. Halfway through the act, he found himself laughing. Tonks looked at him curiously as Remus made his way back behind his desk.

"What?" she couldn’t help asking. Remus smiled as he answered, his eyes looking far away.

"Lily always hated that," he said, almost absently. Something arose within Tonks, an ugly emotion, and she fought furiously to hide the blush that was creeping up her neck.

"Lily?" Tonks found herself asking, instead of the "Hated what?" that she had planned. Remus looked at her, looking lost.

"Pardon?"

"Who is Lily?" said Tonks. She couldn’t help wondering, so she pursued the answer.

"Lily Evans," said Remus, taking the book from her hand and flipping through its pages to the place Tonks had marked. He wasn’t elaborating, and Tonks wasn’t sure she really wanted to know, especially judging by the look of dreamy nostalgia on her professor’s face.

"What was your question, then?" said Remus, examining the parts Tonks had underlined. Tonks leaned over his shoulder to look down at the book. Her arm brushed his own, and Remus flinched involuntarily. He glanced at Tonks, hoping she hadn’t noticed. Thankfully, she seemed engrossed in the passage she had underlined, and looked as though she was trying very hard to ignore the fact that her hand had briefly rubbed his as she had pulled the book a little closer to her face. Tonks took a quick step to her right, away from her professor. Speaking quickly, she tried to cover up her mild embarrassment.

"I understand how to do the Protean Charm," she explained, motioning to the book. "But I don’t understand why its done the way it is. I suppose it’s a bit like maths. If I don’t understand the reasoning behind it, it just doesn’t make sense to me."

"I know what you mean," Remus told her, handing the book back. "But sometimes there isn’t really an easy answer. Not unless you go very far back into the history of the charm."

"What should I do, then?"

"If you really want to know, you can do some in depth research in the library," Remus suggested. "Though, you’d probably have to go into the restricted section, but I could get you a note for that."

"Could you?" said Tonks, her face lighting up in surprise and excitement. "That would be wonderful." Remus nodded, making his way to his bookshelf he grabbed a book and handed it to her.

"Meanwhile, why don’t you look through this." Tonks smiled, taking the book from him.

"That’s one thing I can always count on you for, Professor Lupin," she laughed. "You’re always good for a book." Remus just grinned in an extremely boyish fashion.

"So shall we adjourn this meeting until, say," Remus looked up in thought. "Tomorrow at five o’clock, in the library?"

"Sounds fantastic," said Tonks, bouncing with enthusiasm. Remus seemed to be loitering about his own classroom, and he had no idea why it made him feel so guilty.

"I suppose I’ll see you tomorrow," Remus said, finally, after what seemed like an eternity of silence. In reality, it had only been a moment.

"You’re not going to dinner?" said Tonks.

"What?" said Remus, moving away from her towards the safety of his desk. "Oh. Yes. I suppose I am."

"I’m headed there right now."

"That’s nice."

"When are you going?"

"Before too long. I could go right now, though."

"Shall we go together, then?"

"Well…I suppose that—"

"Fantastic!" Tonks smiled at him and fell along side his step as they made their way to the Great Hall, discussing the upcoming Quidditch match as they went, much to both parties’ pleasure.

-&-

Tonks hurriedly collected a bundle of books from off her four-poster, knocking a few pieces of parchment to the floor as she did so.

"Why in such a hurry?" Cooper asked, sitting on her own bed watching her friend with an eye of curiosity. Tonks looked up at her before answering; not sure she wanted to tell her.

"I’m off to the library," said Tonks truthfully.

Cooper sighed. "Why, Tonks? Sara and I are going to sneak into the kitchens and get all the old vegetables and see if we can sneak it into the boys’ dorms. You should come with us." Tonks hesitated, looking sorely tempted.

"Oh, please come," Cooper begged. "It’s our last year. Don’t you want to end it with a bang?"

"Of course," said Tonks, continuing to pack her book bag. "But I have to work on some stuff first. Can I take a rain check?" Cooper growled and lay back on her bed.

"That’s all you ever say anymore," she said, her voice slightly muffled by her pillow. Sitting up again, she faced Tonks, her jaw set. "You’re going off for another lesson with Professor Lupin, aren’t you?"

"Yes," said Tonks guiltily. Cooper studied her for a moment.

"You fancy him." It was not a question. Cooper’s piercing blue eyes did not leave Tonks’ face. Tonks looked down, shuffling her feet for a moment before looking back up at her friend.

"Yes," was all that she could manage to say. Cooper gave a triumphant smile.

"I knew it," she said. "You are always spending time with him, talking about him… At first I thought it was because you really like Defense. But it’s him."

"Oh, Coop," Tonks moaned, letting her book bag drop to the floor as she sunk onto her bed. "Don’t hate me for it."

"Hate you? Why would I hate you?" asked Cooper. Tonks looked at her, surprised.

"Well…I don’t know," said Tonks slowly. "Because this crush is so very childish of me."

"Nonsense," said Cooper. "Why, it’s no more childish than my crush on Charlie Weasley last year. In fact, if I didn’t already have an extremely good-looking man myself, I’d probably be in your position."

"So you don’t think that it is stupid?" Tonks asked cautiously.

"Nope," said Cooper, hopping down from her bed. "The man is…well, a man. What more can I say?"

"But he’s more than that," Tonks sighed, making her feel even more silly. "He’s so…amazing."

"You’ve got it bad, Tonks."

"I know. But I can’t help it!" Tonks replied, looking to her friend for support. "I wish life were easier than this. If he weren’t a teacher…"

"But he is," Cooper reminded her.

"I know," Tonks said, standing up and retrieving her bag. "But if he wasn’t…"

"What would you do?" Cooper asked curiously.

"I dunno… Ask him to Hogsmeade."

"Not very daring of you," Cooper commented.

"I know. I don’t know… He’s so perfect," Tonks sighed in an uncharacteristically dreamy way.

"To be perfectly honest," said Cooper, coming to sit next to her bright hared friend. "You really don’t have much in common with him. What I mean to say is you’re an unlikely match."

"How do you mean?" Tonks asked her, thinking hard. Certainly she had something in common with Professor Lupin?

"Well you’re such a free spirit," Cooper said, smiling admiringly at her friend. "And Professor Lupin is reserved and quiet and…good."

"Oh, no," Tonks shook her head, ignoring her friend’s implication of Tonks not being good. "You make him sound boring. But he’s not; he’s so very, very interesting. He was a real mischievous guy during his school years, Madam Rosmerta told me so. He tells the funniest stories, and he’s always willing to listen."

"Just be careful you don’t let him know how you feel," Cooper advised. "We Hufflepuffs would never hear the end of it. And I know for a fact that Professor McGonagall suspects that Professor Lupin’s intentions are less than admirable."

"How do you know?" a confused Tonks asked. "What do you mean?"

"I heard her scolding Professor Lupin last week after your lesson. She told him that it wasn’t appropriate, the amount of time the two of you spent together, and that he should be leaving you more time to study for your other classes."

"What did he say?" Tonks insisted on knowing.

"He said that he’d already cut your meetings in half," Cooper answered her. "He said that you were almost ready to stop them completely, but that he wanted to make sure that you were prepared for your Auror training. When McGonagall suggested that someone else finish your lessons, Lupin got pretty upset. Said he didn’t understand why McGonagall was so mad; that you two hadn’t done anything and…"

"And what?" said Tonks, desperate to hear the rest. Cooper seemed to be enjoying her friends torment a little too much.

"He said that he was far too old and broken for that sort of thing anyway." Cooper finished.

"What sort of thing?" Tonks wondered aloud.

"Romance, I suppose," Cooper said lightly, grabbing her wand from her bedside table. "Now are you going to come with Sara and me or are you going to go study in the library with your beloved Lupin?"

Tonks half glared at her. "I need to go this time, Coop. You two could wait and I could join you in this prank or I suppose I could think a nice one up for later." Cooper looked disappointed, but she attempted a smile anyway.

"There’s no way I’m passing this one up or waiting," she said. "You have fun with Lupin. Sara and I are going to find some rubbish."

Cooper bid Tonks good-bye and left their dormitory with an excited shout down to the common room, where Tonks supposed Cooper had found Sara. Tonks was left to think on Cooper’s story. She wondered if Professor Lupin really had said that he was too old for romance. Surely, he couldn’t be more than ten years older than her? She supposed he might look a little older than his age because of his condition. But had he been crossed in love and given it up altogether? Tonks found herself hoping that this was not the case. Though she knew how hopeless and wrong it really was, Tonks couldn’t help hoping that perhaps Professor Lupin might take some interest in her, besides complimenting her on her patronus.

-&-

Little did Tonks know that Professor Remus Lupin was also contemplating this problem. He sat in the library waiting for Tonks, who was already several minutes late for their meeting. This was torture for Remus, as he hadn’t had a lesson with Tonks for over a week now, and she’d always had to rush to her other classes after his DADA class. The waiting was killing him, as was the fact that the waiting was killing him. He knew that he depended on her a lot more than he should, but he’d convinced himself that he couldn’t help it.

He sighed, blowing the tiny strands of hair out of his eyes. He watched the door at the library but there was no sign of her. His heart raced for a moment when her friend, Lola Wilson, had entered in hopes that Tonks would be with her, but she was alone. He tried to distract himself for a while by flipping through the book he planned on discussing with Tonks, but his attention was soon drawn back to Lola, who had just been approached by a seventh year Ravenclaw; Christopher Levitt, Remus recalled.
The boy looked nervous, Remus noticed.

"Hey Lola," Chris said, leaning against the bookcase that Lola searching.

"Hey Chris," Lola replied dryly. "What’s up?"

"I just talked to Cooper," Chris said. "And I was wondering if I could get a second opinion."

"What about?"

"Tonks." Remus’ breath caught in his throat but his eyes remained glued to his book.

"What about her?" Lola asked curiously.

"Well, like I said," Chris started. "I just talked to Cooper. I asked her if Tonks was seeing anyone and Cooper said that, and I quote, ‘Tonks isn’t really "seeing anyone," but she is interested in someone.’ An older man, she said." Remus looked up, eyes filled with something between terror and hope. He saw Lola glance at him out of the corner of his eye.
"I don’t know anything about it," Lola admitted slowly. Chris’s shoulders slumped.

"But if you’re interested in Tonks, go ahead and ask her out," Lola advised. Remus saw Chris’s head rise in hope.

"You think I should?" he asked. Lola shrugged.

"Why not?" she said as she pulled a book from the bookcase in triumph. "You’re a nice bloke."

"But if she’s interested in someone else…" Chris began anxiously.

"Tonks is too nice for something like that," said Lola, heading over to Madam Pince. "If she’s not interested, she’ll say no. She wouldn’t lead you on…"

They moved out of earshot, and Remus was left in confusion. There was so much to digest—unfortunately he didn’t have much time, as Tonks came rushing in just then. Her eyes lit up when she approached Remus.

"Sorry I’m late, professor," she apologized, setting down her books with a huff. Remus’ eyes moved over her shoulder to Chris, who was standing behind her, slowly raising his hand to tap her on the shoulder. The action took what seemed like ages to Remus. This was the end, he thought unconsciously. The end of what, he wasn’t sure, nor was he sure why he cared so much. He knew he lied to himself far too much. Tonks turned around to face the young man.

"Wotcher, Chris," she called merrily.

"I was wondering if I could have a word with you," said Christ, each word cutting into Remus like the reality it was.

"Sure," Tonks said, folding her arms and leaning on the table behind her in a very Professor Lupin-like fashion. "Shoot."

Chris glanced at Remus suspiciously, and Remus noticed for the first time that he was staring quite rudely. He wondered why he didn’t care, and the thought reminded him far more of James Potter or Sirius Black than Remus Lupin.

"I was wondering if you’d like to go to Hogsmeade with me next trip." Tonks froze. This couldn’t be happening; not now, not in front of Professor Lupin.

"That’s a month away," she stalled, trying to decide what to do.

"I know," Chris said, looking embarrassed. Should she accept to be nice? No, she made a point never to do that to anyone. If she wasn’t interested and she knew it wouldn’t go anywhere she figured she might as well save the bloke some time and money by telling him so. But then she remembered Professor Lupin. He was watching them, she knew. How couldn’t he? He was two feet away.

She wasn’t sure why, but her mouth opened and she found herself accepting.

"Well, all right then," she said, turning to unload her books from her bag. Chris smiled, thanked her, and quickly retreated; looking far too pleased in Remus’ opinion. She turned back to Remus with the most cheerful smile she could muster. Remus tried to return it, but it ended up being more of a grimace. Tonks took the seat across from him, and when he didn’t say anything she cleared her throat soundly.

"What’s that book you’ve got there?" she said, trying to break the silence. Remus looked down at the book he’d been flipping through, almost unseeing.

"Oh," he began quietly. "I thought you might like to have a look at it." Tonks pulled the book toward her and examined it.

"Advanced and Extremely Complicated Theory to Defense. It’s not a title I’ve ever seen before," She said, flipping through a few of its pages.

"I found it in the restricted section," Professor Lupin was saying, looking down at the book. Tonks looked up at him, her mouth wide in an impish grin. She waited for him to smile back at her, to share in her amusement. But the sense of comradeship never came, and Tonks was left frowning at a very bemused Professor Lupin.

"Is there something wrong, professor?" she asked, holding her hands together to stop the automatic reaction of covering his hands with her own, to comfort him. He looked up at her.

"Huh?" he murmured. "Oh, no, I’m fine. So about that book—I suggest you stick strictly to chapters 1—3 and go no further than that."

"Why no further?" said Tonks. He was acting so peculiar. She practically had to drag every word out of him.

"Because—the text you know—the title and all that…complicated stuff. Shouldn’t be delving too deep you know… still so young." Professor Lupin wasn’t making much sense.

"Young?" Tonks said, surprised. "Magic has nothing to do with age, professor."

"Well sometimes it’s complicated what with all…" Remus couldn’t concentrate. He kept thinking of Tonks with Chris, and he couldn’t shake the feelings that Cooper’s words had awoken in him. It seemed to be the story of his life; to have his hopes raised only to be crushed beyond imagining. He didn’t seem to make much sense to Tonks for the rest of their lesson, which consisted almost entirely of his stuttering and stammering.