Disclaimer: I obviously don't own Grey's Anatomy, because if I did, I wouldn't be turning my characters into fucking (sorry) yo-yos.

Chapter 1

Underwater

There he was, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. His right hand clasped the strap of his briefcase while his left clenched in a fist. He stared at the display board and didn't even notice that his knuckles adapted a whitish color and started to ache. Also unnoticed by him were the noise and movement coming from the crowd around him.

Running his left hand through his thick, black curls, he forced himself to forget the fact that very soon he was sitting in one of these huge monsters, thousands of miles above the ground, leaving him powerless. Instead he tried to focus on the moment when he was finally allowed to exit and set his feet on the ground of Seattle.

Seattle. He had never been to Seattle before.

He was looking forward to it. Not that he expected to like it a lot, because he was from New York, genetically engineered to dislike everywhere except Manhattan. But still. It would be a welcome change from his everyday life. It would distract him from the fact that his life was not what it used to be. That he was not the man he used to be. And that lately, he felt strangely out of place.

Taking his hand away from his head, he looked down at his watch … 5:37 pm.

His plane was not supposed to leave until 7:08.

He started to look around him, still not noticing all the people, this time because he was searching for something…something that would make him feel better, something that would ease his nerves. Again the hand in his hair.

That it was: ”Atlantic Bar and Grill”

He instinctively headed towards it, trying to maneuver himself through the crowd, now and then bumping into someone, stumbling a halfhearted “Sorry” and immediately forgetting about it. Usually he would have cared, but not here. Not now.

As he entered the bar he was immediately greeted by a tall, brunette woman.

“Good evening, Sir. May I help you?” she asked, looking at him with her big green eyes and her mouth forming a gorgeous smile.

Under different circumstances he would have considered her pretty, ask her how her day went and smile back. But forgetting his manners, he did not even look at her and rather let his gaze wander around the place, continuously opening and shutting his hands.

Still restless in his hand movements but now trying to focus on her, he stammered “Yeah…hi…I would like to…ehm…sit down at the bar.”

Although she was slightly irritated by him she maintained her smile. “Of course, Sir. If you would follow me, please.”

With these words she turned around and started to walk along the row of tables to his left. After a moment of hesitation he followed her.

As she reached the bar she turned around. Again the smile on her face. “Here we are.”

“Thank you,” he managed to mumble as she walked past him, back to the entrance, waiting for the next guests that would probably be less awkward than he was.

He sank down on the bar stool, dropping his briefcase in front of him. His hands wandered up to his head, again running through his hair…wiping his eyes. Propping his elbows on the counter, they finally rested on his forehead.

Relax, Derek. Everything is going to be fine.

“Man, you look desperate,” said a deep voice.

The words dragged him out of his thoughts. He looked up and saw a tall man standing right in front of him on the other side of the counter.

“I know that look. I see it couple of times a day,” the bartender said.

“Really.”

“Yeah. So what’s your cure?”

“Double scotch, single malt please.”

“Coming right away.”

With these words Derek was left alone. He put his forehead back in his palms.

Desperate. He looked desperate.

The bartender came back and set the scotch on the wooden surface in front of him. Derek looked up again and the first time since he had entered the building he was able to show a slight smile. And even if it didn’t say “I am happy”, it was at least something. Something that happened once in a blue moon over the last months, or even years. He had forgotten. And this something suited him so well.

“Thank you,” he said, looking down, putting his now calm right hand around the glass. He hesitated again, not for long, before he lifted it up to his mouth and took a sip. He let the liquor run down the back of his throat and immediately felt better. The bartender just smiled at him, nodded and left him to take care of his other guests.

After taking a second sip, Derek was finally able to relax. His heart rate dropped, his muscles relaxed and he regained the control over his body. Eventually able to care for his surroundings, he let his gaze wander. Over the dark green walls, the different shaped glasses in the shelf at the wall in front of him and the wooden furniture which glowed in the dim light of the lamps at the walls. He liked this place, even the small candles that were placed on the counter and tables. Yes, he definitely liked this place. The fact that it seemed so far away from everything contributed to his conclusion. He could easily spend the remaining time in this comfortable place, together with his scotch.

After the last drop of scotch had burned its way down his throat, Derek made his way to the restroom. He emptied himself and went to the opposite wall of the room to wash his hands. Drying them, he caught himself in the mirror, realizing that running his hand through his hair had left its traces. His curls stuck out in all directions, some of them hanging loosely over his forehead. Oddly, despite the fact that the scotch made him feel better in this very moment, his reflection somehow represented how he felt lately.

While he was trying to force his hair back into place, someone entered the restroom. That itself wasn’t usually something Derek paid attention to. But this someone happened to be a woman and he couldn’t keep himself from staring at her small, blond haired feature. She catched his eye for a moment before she walked towards the mirror and stood in front of it, looking at herself, completely ignoring the fact that she was a woman who just entered the men’s room and that she wasn’t alone. She let out a sigh, put her bag next to the sink und leaned down to splash some cold water in her face, all the while Derek was watching her. No. Not watching. He was still staring at her, which obviously didn’t escape her notice, because as she looked up again, she turned her head towards him and stared back. There was something about her, her green, still with tears filled eyes, which he, had he been able to think in that moment, couldn’t even couch.

You and I are here –

Underwater

And there it was again. The smile. Only this time it wasn’t a slight one. This time it was a smile that involved every muscle of his face and made his deep blue eyes twinkle.

Moments are so dear -

Underwater

“So, this is what you do, huh? Stare at women at the airport,” she said, returning his with one of her smiles, that made her eyes sparkle even more and took Derek’s breath away.

Searching for a light –

Underwater

But as he didn’t answer, she looked down at the floor, still smiling.

I hold my breath in tight -

Underwater

She grabbed her bag and headed towards the door, putting her hand on the handle, hesitating.

Will you pull me up again?

“Was nice meeting you.”

“Yeah,” he said to himself, moments after she was gone.

A/N: This is my first fanfic, and writing it in English is even harder, because it's not my first language. So I apologize for any mistakes. Thank you for reading and please leave a review.