Title: Proverbial Fine Line

Author: Bluehaven4220

Summary: Companion piece to 'Tough as Nails'. Danny reflects on how much Mac's friendship has meant to him.

Disclaimer: CSI NY is not mine. I'm playing with AnthonyZuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, An Donahue, and Jerry Bruikheimer's toys. Song belongs to Evanessence.

Archive: Sure, as long as you ask me first.

Reviews: yes please, I LOVE reviews.

Perfect by nature
Icons of self indulgence
Just what we all need
More lies about a world that

Never was and never will be
Have you no shame? Don't you see me?
You know you've got everybody fooled

It isn’t as though it comes as a big surprise. He fooled me. Mac Taylor fooled me.

I really don't want to believe that statement.

Fooled? Snap out of it, you!

What was I trying to do? Convince myself that everyone was innocent in the matter? Mac would only ever do what he had to do to protect the people of New York. In fact, he had once said that there were three things he would protect at any cost. “The honor of this country, the people of this city, and the integrity of the lab”. How did I know that? Because it was true, I’d seen him do everything he could to protect the people and property closest to him. To any other person, Mac Taylor was a machine. To those at the lab, he was another hardworking boss who loved his job.

“Mr. Dobson?” I asked her. “Is that what we’re calling the psychopath who cuts the eyelids off of his victims so they can watch their killer as they die? Mr. Dobson?”

“Answer the question, Detective.”

“No.”

“Is that your answer?”

“Yes, that’s my answer, and my answer to your question is no.”

What had she asked me? Truth be told I don’t even remember. I just remember that the most truthful answer to that question had been the word no.

Look here she comes now
Bow down and stare in wonder
Oh how we love you
No flaws when you're pretending
But now I know she

Never was and never will be
You don't know how you've betrayed me
And somehow you've got everybody fooled

I remember that night, going to the bar with Flack, and asking him why we did what we did, day in and day out. The same thing, over and over.

“We do it ’cause we’re good at it,” he answered.

“No really, Don, why do we do what we do?”

Flack set his cue up. “Maybe we do it for the one or two of times somebody actually thanks us for finding their son's murderer."

He took a shot and sunk the eight-ball in the corner pocket.

Without the mask, where will you hide?
Can't find yourself lost in your lie

I know the truth now
I know who you are
And I don't love you anymore

It wasn’t for a couple more days that Mac was finally cleared. It reminded me of the time Louie had been beaten by the Tanglewood Boys. He’d sacrificed himself to save my ass. Louie and I, sad to say, hadn’t spoken to each other in years before that day. I’d once wanted to be a part of the Tanglewoods, yeah, how stupid am I, right? And the night they beat a kid and did away with him was the night Louie and Danny became less than brothers. When I’d moved out I stopped speaking to him. Now, I had no choice. Louie had been beaten within an inch of his life to save me. He still hasn’t come out of his coma.

“Louie, it’s me Danny. I just talked to Dad, he’s coming over with Mammy. Doctor says you’re in a coma and you might not make it outta here….”

It tore me apart.I had to tell my Mom and Dad that Louie might never wake up. How do you say something like that? 'Oh hey, Ma, Louie's lying half dead in the hospital, wanna come see him?' HA HA HA, no. I went outside to get some air, and Mac was standing there, waiting.

“How's your brother?”

I shook my head.

“We did everything we could forensically, but... in the end, it was Louie who saved you.”

I sniffed and shook my head, unable to speak.

“You okay?”

“They beat him pretty bad, Mac,” my pitiful attempt at laughter had turned into sobs. “They...” I choked, “they beat him really bad, Mac...”

He'd pulled me to him in comfort. I cried on his shoulder. I'd never cried on anyone's shoulder for as long as I could remember, but I needed this. I needed to cry.

It never was and never will be
You don't know how you've betrayed me
And somehow you've got everybody fooled

Mac hadn't betrayed me when I needed him the most, now it was my turn to be there for him. I'd said my bit in court, and I was one of the first ones to congratulate him after he'd been cleared.

“You know Danny, Stella once said to me, “Until the day we can't do it anymore, what do you say we go out and make a difference?” And you know what?”

I shook my head.

“You've made a difference Danny. Not just to the lab, but to my life as well.”

I cocked my head in confusion.

“You're a great detective, Danny,” he continued. “I don't see you as cold-blooded, and believe me, you're not incompetent, but you walk a fine line.”

“It gets lonely,” I admitted.

Mac nodded. “That's why I'm going to walk it with you.”

It never was and never will be
You're not real and you can't save me
Somehow now you're everybody's fool

And since that day, Mac has walked that proverbial fine line with me, and let me tell you, I'm glad he is.

Now it's not so lonely.