One of these days I'll write something that's got funniness even close to the first NQDS... 'Course, that would require I not read Anomaly/Solitude beforehand.

I'm stupid like that. Ah well.

Anyway, I have a fair few whacky (possibly also funny) ideas now, so we really are at the funny part of this 'story arc' (if we can even top Mindfuckery 101... which wasn't even supposed to be funny)

Anyhoo... yeah, this took way too long to write. Laziness mostly. Although I had a fair chunk done when the Mindfuckery 101 idea came up and slaughtered what little sanity I had left... It's only really today I've recovered from the mental trauma.

Not-Quite-Drunken-Silly - Part Ten: Immaturity.

Mewtwo slowly opened his eyes, blinking to clear them of sleep as sunlight filtered through the dusty window. For one blessed moment, he was still riding that line between awake and asleep and could believe that he was back to normal. Unfortunately, that was not the case. Looking down at his white paws, although he supposed the tips were more like tiny claws, he fought back a frown, only because his jaw was not quite suited for such an emotion and he did not need an ache, especially if he would have to endure his 'siblings' for a while...

Looking up, his war against the frown was instantly resolved, Mewtwo surrendered, the grimance turning into a fully fledged snarl at the sight of the two using his bed... Evetwo was almost pressed up against the wall, laying on her front and her tail streaming down behind her, poking out the bottom of the quilt, lazily swaying in her dreams. But she, for once, was not the cause of Mewtwo's aggrivation. Well, not the main cause. That 'honour' was given solely to the other psychic feline in the room, also sound asleep.

Mewtwo's jaw was clenched so tightly that he was surprised his teeth or jaw had not shattered at the sight of Mew, with the quilt draped over his middle, curled up against Evetwo's side. He was using her stomach as a pillow, tail dangling off the side of the bed as he shifted slightly in sleep. Mewtwo felt what was going to turn into a lovely headache forming at the sight of what was supposed to be his body being abused in such a fashion. His own form seemed to be shaking slightly, either from cold or barely supressed rage, he was not sure which. And he didn't particually care, he needed to have a word with Mew, voice his displeasures and get the Legendary to see sense and figure out a way to fix this whole thing fast.

Because, Mew never told the whole story, there had to be more to it, Mewtwo did not the whole 'virus' excuse in the slightest. Mew could not be trusted, no, neither could Celebi, the other Legendary who had validated their absurd story. It could not be true, it was just a cover for another of their twisted pranks. And Mewtwo planned to put a stop to it, without Evetwo interferring. He got to his feet, stretching slightly to awaken his hind legs for the task of getting to the ground.

Evetwo had at least been considerate enough to leave him a way to get to the floor, although the smirk she had worn while constructing the makeshift staircase had done little to help Mewtwo's temper. From the desk, he moved into one of the drawers, from there climbing down onto the chair, from there onto the upturned waste-paper basket, then onto a pile of books from her half hearted attempt at cleaning the floor somewhat. From there it was a simple case of leaping to the floor and walking over to Mew.

His room seemed a lot bigger now that he was so small, the books that littered the ground forcing him to scramble across them, he would really have to see about finding a method of storing the many tomes. After nearly slipping and banging his head on a large hardback, having so many around became a lot more dangerous. Mewtwo fought away the thought with a barely audible snarl, he did not have to adapt, his problem was only momentary, he would be back to normal soon, and be rid of this damn headache...

However, he came to a halt next to the bed, there was one problem. He couldn't climb onto it, the framework was metal, the quilt was all bunched up in the middle, there was no platform to use as a stepping stone... if he couldn't get up there, how could he wake Mew... The answer hit him out of no where, a sudden flick of Mew's tail sending the Rattata sprawling. He growled, pushing himself back to his feet even as his cursed instincts told him to run and hide from the assault...

Stay calm, stay rational... don't give those instincts an inch. Mewtwo repeated the words in his head until his damned form had calmed enough for him to get back to the matters at paw. Namely, awakening Mew. With that tail moving the way it was, flicking from side to side with some force, it would be impossible to merely prod him awake with normal means. However, Mewtwo remembered what he had done last night and how well that had gotten Evetwo's attention. That would do the trick nicely.

Opening his maw, revealing sharp teeth, Mewtwo took aim, watching and waiting for the perfect moment...

He pounced.

--

Fervo had a headache. How did that work? He hadn't even drank that much last night, so it wasn't a hangover. And he hadn't had Pika screaming at him either, so it wasn't that. So how the hell did he have a headache? He sat himself down on one of the stairs, clutching at his head, fighting back a snarl... it wouldn't do to lose it over a headache... especially if he hadn't been drunk, Jack'd never stop with the lightweight cracks, ever. There was a small thump, followed by a high pitched squeak, forcing him to look up, straight into baby blue eyes. The tiny orange lizard had tripped up and was laying on her front, looking up at him with those innocent eyes. Fervo wasn't fooled.

"Oh good, the spawn's come to mock me..."

Kit slowly pushed herself up, her feet were still a little large compaired to the rest of her, although not to the degree of Mew, so getting her balance again was a rather haphazard process. Fervo watched with eyescales cocked, cautiously observing the child as she stood, wavering slightly, tiny tail waving behind her until she was slightly more stable. She took a few shakey steps forwards, moving perhaps a little quicker than she probably intended as she almost slammed into the front of the bottom step.

Luckily she was a lizard and was more durable than most kits, or she didn't hit it as hard as Fervo thought, because she didn't start weeping like Poochie did when he walked into a door. She squeaked slightly, that was it. And it was more an indignant, embarrassed, sound than an upset one. The Treecko was almost amused by it.

"What happened to your..." he couldn't quite say the word father, he just couldn't do it, "what happened to Flame? Did Scarlet go hormonal and kill him?"

She tilted her head slightly, staring up at him with those paradoxically innocent eyes as though she couldn't quite understand the question. She probably couldn't, actually. After all, Flame raised Blacky, and look how dense that kit was. Fervo couldn't help but smile at the thought.

"We're gonna have to teach you to say 'cake'" He told the child, "because the look on Flame's face... Although he'd probably kill me, if your mother didn't get to me first." Weird... he could call Scarlet the kit's mother, yet he couldn't call Flame her father... that was a puzzle and a half.

One that he did not have the chance to ponder over, instead being distracted as Kit reached up with her paws and tried to climb onto the step with him. Unfortunately, it was designed for Humans, or Human sized Pokemon, so she was too short to get enough leverage to pull herself up, even if her tiny foreclaws could find purchase in the wood. Fervo sighed, leaning down and picking her up around the middle. For a Charmander, she was rather light; so it was no trouble to lift her, although he did wish she wouldn't squirm and giggle, before placing her down beside him.

"This doesn't mean I like you, I just don't want to deal with an upset baby lizard, especially as that'd get everyone pissed at me."

It would be a lot easier to ignore the hellspawn's presence if she fell asleep or something. But, no, she had to walk over to him, coming very close to falling off the staircase... he was trying, very hard, not to look at her, but she went and placed her paws on his leg, staring up at him again.

"What do you want?" He muttered, looking down at Kit, who just giggled as she reached up with a paw and touched the Treecko on the snout, pulling back and staring at her paw for a second, before looking back up at him as though to judge his reaction. "Did you just beep my nose?"

She just tilted her head, and did it again, a small smile evident on her face. Evidently she was toying with him, well, fine, he could play her game. He reached up and prodded her own snout, being as gentle as he could so not to cause her to back up and fall of the staircase. "Beep. I win."

She giggled in reply, taking ahold of his dark green paw in both of her own tiny ones, and; as much as he hated to admit it, Fervo found himself smiling.

"Don't think this means I like you." He pointed out to the Kit, who seemed to be looking over his paw with rather innocent curiousity. Which Fervo was okay with, as long as she didn't wonder what Treecko tasted like. "I still think the idea of you is creepy. I mean, I can't imagine your mother managing to procreate without killing the other party in the process... hell, I can't image her touching another person without killing another pe-" he paused, noticing the way Kit had stopped observing his paw and was instead looking up the stairs with that look in her eyes that Blacky had whenever he saw Flame after being seperated for a while...

And, seeing as Flame was in the living room down the hall, it was not that parental figure she could be looking at... "Scarlet's right behind me, isn't she?" The kit nodded in reply. "...I was afraid of that."

"Then how about I give you something to be really afraid of, you jerk!" Yup, definitely Scarlet's tone alright, that familiar warped growl... Yet Fervo found himself cocking an eyescale.

"...That line is even cornier than the crap Jack comes out with." The hell with it, if he was going to die anyway, might as well have a few last cracks beforehand. Although, Fervo then came up with a better idea, he got to his feet and ran like hell.

Just as he shot around the corner, narrowly avoiding a stream of blue, crackling fire, he realised that his headache was gone.

--

Mewtwo realised his plan had one fatal flaw. Namely; Mew did not take kindly to having Rattata teeth imbedded in his, rather sensitive, tail tip. Unfortunately, by the time Mewtwo figured out this flaw, Mew's fur had already frizzed up, almost rippling up his spine, before the psychic rocketed into the air with a piercing, telepathic wail. Mewtwo fell to the floor, almost cracking his head on the corner of a rather large hardback book. Mew, however, was not so lucky. Head met ceiling, the wail turning into a momentary squeak before the transformed Legendary plummeted.

Mewtwo ducked under the bed, managing to avoid being flattened when Mew hit the floor. The Rattata couldn't help but feel a little peeved, not that Mew's injuries, Mewtwo didn't give a damn about those, but at the fact that Eve would probably awaken before he could extract any useful information. Which would prove impossible anyway, he decided with a sigh, Mew curling into a ball, clutching at his sore tail and skull... was he... crying? His shoulders were shaking and Mewtwo could hear his gasping breaths...

"Oh, you are so dead." The voice caused Mewtwo to freeze up, his eyes darting around, it was the phantom... but where... Mewtwo never even saw the tail phasing through the floor beside him until it shot around him, wrapping him tight and lifting him into the air. Now it was he who squeaked, the sudden cold sensation not helping those infernal instincts to flee. Anti floated up through the floor, slowly, right in front of Mewtwo's face, and the Rattata found his vision starting to blur. "Oh, no you don't. You ain't fainting on me." The tip of that translucent tail prodded Mewtwo's forehead, the sudden electrical-freezing touch forcing him awake.

"Now, where was I?" The undead kitten mused, before grinning, revealing fangs that seemed to glow in the dim sunlight, "ah yes, punishing you for attacking Mew. Eve's too soft, me, I don't have that problem/"

"You cannot do anything to me."

"Uh huh," the tail squeezed slightly, Mewtwo starting to struggle against the ghostly pressure, "listen and listen good, Mew didn't lie about that virus thing, and I've got the bloodwork to back it up, so you can stop planning on interrogating him. Got that?"

"I was no-"

"Either you start listening, or I test the theory that Rattata's hearing don't deteriorate after losing an ear."

Mewtwo shut up, just as Eve finally awoke, finally noticing Mew's sobbing and almost vaulting out of bed. Anti vanished, letting Mewtwo hit the ground, his fur refusing to go back down from its frizzed state.

"Mew?!"

"Hurts..." his voice, his stolen voice, shook slightly. Eve stared for a second, mouth agape, before Mewtwo felt her psychic hold as he was hauled into the air... again.

"You are going to stop being an ass to your brother!" She almost hissed at him, eyes flashing between their usual red and a psychic-purple glow. He had to wonder how she knew it was him, although the teeth marks probably gave it away...

"I have no brother, I have no need for him or his accursed family," Mewtwo glared right back at her, watching her flinch at the words.

And then Mew pulled his head up, sniffing back another sob, grabbed a hefty book, and swung, Eve's grip shattering in shock as Mewtwo was effectively swatted out of the air, slamming into one of the bed's steel legs.

"Mew! What the hell was that for?!"

"He started it." Mew sniffed, wiping his eyes. "Stupid Mewtwo."

"You are the one who looks like me, you are insulting yourself," Mewtwo spat.

"You're just mad cause I'm cuter than you," Mew taunted, his newly-stabalised, and therefore purple, eyes now filled with amusement.

"I, and my form, are not 'cute' by any definition of the word."

"You obviously never read a few of the female Team Rocket employee's minds when you had that armor on."

"...What?!"

"I win!" Now he laughed... laughed!

Eve sighed, it was much too early for this.