AN: thanks to everyone who reviewed; I appreciate it. If you have specific questions it's probably best to PM me though as I'm fairly bad about remembering which reviews I've replied to. Next update will probably be a ficlet. Hope you enjoy.

Things Team Nineteen Are No Longer Allowed To Do

121. The Academy staff would (politely) like to inform you that if you were the ones that interfered with the correct working of their coffee machine then you will never be able to contemplate sending any demon brats you may spawn unto their hallowed grounds – if you are capable of spawning when Akemi-sensei is done with you, that is.

122. You are not to come near the printing press when the Konoha Bingo Book is being put into publication. The Teenage Mutant Ninjas do not exist, are not S-ranked missing-nin and we don’t appreciate you making Gai cry.

123. Shadow clones do not have human rights and Kakashi should not be tried for war crimes.

124. You are not the official tribunal for war crimes. There is no tribunal for war crimes. If there was a tribunal for war crimes, you would not be allowed to Gai guilty of ‘inflicting untold horrors on the minds of the innocent’.

125. Even if the majority of the population agrees with you.

126. You are not to hire your services out as ‘l33t ninja stripperz!’ You’re giving Konoha a bad reputation.

127. Asking Danzo to clap is not funny.

128. We don’t care if Sandaime laughed.

129. Although Ebisu’s disposition may indeed be improved if he gets laid, you are not to try and accomplish this by locking him in storage cupboards with various ANBU even if ‘ANBU are hot lyk whoa!’

130. Even if it worked.

131. You are not to amend mission orders by writing “in bed” after every sentence.

132. While the motto of “try, try, try again,” may be admirable in certain circumstances, it should not be applied to trying to sneak into the women’s half of the baths.

133. You are not allowed to circulate opinion polls on the state of the Hokage’s love life.

Danzo’s, Uchiha Fugaku’s, Hyuuga Hiashi’s, Inuzuka Tsume’s – you are not allowed to circulate opinion polls on the state of anyone’s love life. Even if Tsume finds it funny.

135. Inuzuka Tsume is not an appropriate role model.

136. You are not to remove any article of clothing when being debriefed. You didn’t misunderstand. We’re not that gullible.

137. You are not bringing sexy back.

138. Neither is your dance routine.

139. “Genma did it first” is not an adequate excuse for anything.

140. You are re-banned from all and any explosive devices Iruka. We don’t care what Tsume said.

141. While your ‘1001 Ways to Kill a Ninja With Just a Toothpick, a Piece of String and a Peanut’ is undoubtedly imaginative, deeply informative and well-researched, we do not appreciate you distributing it to the Academy students. We are also rather dubious about ways 745-87.

142. You are not allowed to ascend to godhood without first seeking prior permission from the Hokage. No matter what the ‘funky glowing lights’ tell you.

143. You do not have prior permission.

144. You are not allowed to throw matches in the chuunin exams simply because your opponent has bribed you with sexual favours. The reverse, however, is permissible.

145. Our acceptance that some cheating is both permissible and in certain cases desirable, as acknowledged in rule 144, does not mean that rule 90 has been revoked.

146. The correct answer to Cluedo is not ‘The Hokage, in the Hokage Tower, with the whip he uses in secret sado-masochistic rituals’. This will never be the correct answer.

147. The Hokage does not own a whip that he uses in secret sado-masochistic rituals.

148. Or in not-so secret ones, either.

149. Contrary to whatever evidence you may have gathered, failing a psychological test will not win you an automatic promotion to jounin.

150. This is not Sparta.