Author's Note: Ehh... these diaries just seem to keep getting dumber and dumber. I apologize. (I know I am probably pissing off a lot of people with all the Anti-Ilia stuff, but I do not care.) To all of you Ilia fans: PLEASE don't flame this. Don't even read it for the Goddesses sake's. Just... don't. Also, this is actually an update! Hurray for updates! (I promise to update more.) Also also, TP Link is kind of... n00bish. I wanted to make him that way because I never thought he was that great. LOOK A THOSE FREAKISH FACIAL EXPRESSIONS!

Disclaimer: Twilight Princess Link and anyone or anything else mentioned in this story are copyright by Nintendo.

WAZZUP!? It’s Twilight Princess Link here!

Yo, my name is Twilight Princess Link, also known as TP Link! (As the title above clearly states.) Umm… you do know who I am right? I mean, absolutely EVERYONE has heard of me! The most awesomest Link of all! I come complete with goofy facial expressions, super-short tunics and soft, flowy haaair!

Of course you have heard of me, though. (Obviously if you’re reading this.)

For starters I’d just like to point out that not only am I the most awesome of all those other loser Links, but I also the one who has the most fan girls! … Though after thinking it over, I think that’s a bad thing. Seriously. Okay, so I’m in this temple where I have to hang upside-down and you can totally see up my tunic! I’m not kidding and it’s not funny either! Plus it gets even worse when I have to wear a super-short water tunic that allows me to breath underwater and you can see up that too! And how come Midna just has to hide in my shadow to breath underwater!? At the bottom of a lake, I don’t think there is even a shadow!

B-but that doesn’t take away from my super sexiness!

And for all you ladies out there, did I tell ya I can turn into a wolf too? Chick’s dig the wolves, man. It’s just like a natural thing with them, like how they also dig the scars too! That reminds me…

You know how Midna is always hanging out with me? Well I decided to try and impress her. I went out and purposely almost got myself killed… BUT I GOT THIS WICKED COOL SCAR! Midna came out of my shadow and was all like, ‘Oh jeez Link! Are you okay!?’ And then I was all like, ‘Don’t ya dig my scar?’ And then she said, ‘You’re a loser.’ and hid back in my shadow! Talk about REJECTION! … Though I didn’t give up on Midna. No. I could nevah give up on a hawtie like her.

Let’s talk about Ilia for a second, now that I've talked about Midna.

So, before my adventure began, I was going off to get my horse that Ilia had stolen. I reached the spring and then these monster guys attacked all of a sudden! Ilia got shot by a little arrow and I get WHACKED in the back of the head with a big. Freaking. CLUB! It wasn't toobad until I find Ilia and discover that HER WHOLE DAMN MEMORY IS GONE! I, naturally being the hero and all, have to go on a dangerous quest to find a cure for her memory. After a long and tedious mini-adventure, Ilia remembers MY OWN HORSE BEFORE ME! I mean what the buckets!? I go on a dangerous quest to save her and supposedly find something and then she’s all like ‘Ooh, I remember someone else’s horse but not the person who actually owns it!’ That’s just… stupid... Yah, so I go off on another mini-quest and blah blah blah, I save Ilia’s memory, flashback, Ilia’s all better… Not like I care.

I’ve gotta go soon, so how about I talk about my awesome wolf powers!?

I have to say though, being a wolf isn’t as cool as I thought it would be. One time I got flees and another time Midna warped me to the broken Bridge of Eldin and I fell right through… not good times. Plus when I have to go to the bathroom, it’s really awkward because Midna is sitting on my back and all… But it’s also awkward when I’m normal me because she’s in my shadow and so yeah…

... Umm… about that fish guy… Zant…

Does he do drugs or something? I mean he bends his body around like he’s a sponge or something. Plus he wears a fish hat too, which makes him look really dumb. THEN he’s trying to steal my girl, Midna from me and I don’t take kindly to that either… Though I guess Midna wasn’t too wooed over by him though, because she impaled him with her hair. I mean come on. You know you’re a loser when you get impaled by someone’s hair and explode…

Speaking of Zant, did I mention he works for that Ganondorf guy, who no matter how many times everyone else tries, he always comes back? I think he has a crush on Zelda, who has a crush on me, so that’s probably why he always tries to kill me. Though maybe he’s jealous of my soft, flowy haaair! I also bet he's jealous of me because I've got Midna.

Apperently Midna is like the princess of a weirdo race called the 'Twili'. Ganondorf must REALLY dig princess' because he only went after Midna and Zelda but not Ilia.

Also apperently, Midna looks SUPER beautiful in her 'princess form'! I'm telling you she's like really tall and has long hair with this dress thing and a hood and ahhh the beauty... BUT THEN SHE FREAKING LEAVES ME! After putting my tunic-wearing butt on the line a million times, Midna is reawakened as her normal self and blah blah blah, I saved the world. Though she takes us to the Mirror of Twilight, (the gateway to her realm and mine,) and then she's all like 'Link... I... see you later!' and BRAKES THE MIRROR! WHY MIDNA! WE WOULD HAVE MADE THE GREAT COUPLE EVER! EVER!

Ahem...

This has been TP Link. Oh and hey... since Midna's not around... I'm single, ladies!

The very suggestive end.

Author's Other Note: Umm... I have no real comment on how dumb this chapter is...