The Rainbow Lance

Summary:: Vincent, Cloud, and Tifa discover a shocking secret about their macho captain, Cid, and decide to throw him a party… mild Tifa bashing and Sephy with tequila shots!! XD

Disclaimer:: I don’t own Final Fantasy (or Squaresoft) or tequila, or coco puffs. :D

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It was supposed to be a day like any other. Cid barking out orders, even though the threat of meteor was long gone and life was basically boring. Sure, Tifa was just as slutty and annoying as ever, but everything was normal…

Or so was thought…

Vincent was bored, and when he got bored he would either eat a bowl of coco puffs, or watch television. Since they were out of cereal and their television had been broken by Cloud (because he couldn’t watch Blue’s Clues, he got pissed and had a hissy fit, throwing his Buster Sword through the poor thing) he decided to clean.

Now as he was cleaning, he found that there was soooo much laundry in Cid’s room.

“Ugh, disgusting.” He picked up a sock that had grown some odd fuzz on it. He did not want to know what else was in there. He was about to leave with said offending sock when he spotted something pink and fuzzy underneath the bed.

Now, this was confusing to Vincent, so he stood there with the fuzzy sock and pondered what it could be. He dropped the sock and waded through the pool of dirty laundry and magazines… he blushed redder than his cape when he saw the cover on some of them.

Vincent cautiously reached under the bed and grabbed the fuzzy whatever. When he pulled it out and exposed it to daylight, he discovered it was a… diary?

“Oooookay, that was a bit unexpected.” Vincent blinked and sweat dropped. He thought for a moment.

Hmmn… now this is Cid’s property and he will kill me if he catches me reading it… then again, what the hell is he doing with a fuzzy pink diary tucked under his bed?!?!?

Vincent opened the diary and flipped to the most recent entry. He scanned the paper with rapid speed and stopped on the last sentence. (:O) His mouth hung open when he read it, it was just too impossible to comprehend. There were no signs…

“Ohhh my Goooddd…” Was all he could breath out… and then he began to laugh. Nooo, he wasn’t laughing at what he had just read. He was laughing at the entertaining though of a chibi Cid pouring over the fuzzy diary and spilling… this!

Then he gasped suddenly. They had to throw him a party! He had to tell Cloud… and Tifa. But he had to tell someone else too… and his brain hatched the most brilliant idea. He read past entries and smiled devilishly.

“I think that will work just fi-” He was cut off suddenly when he heard the front door slam.

Ohhhhhhhh fuck, fuck fuck… what to doooo….. ()

He threw the diary under the bed, hearing it hit the wall with a soft thud, and attempted to waddled out of the room hastily… and he fell… on top of the piles of dirty laundry.

Vincent twitched… and twitched, and then proceeded to freak out and become entangled in the dirty laundry, the fuzzy sock coming to greet him in the face.

“OMFG THAT IS DISGUSTING!” He screamed and continued to freak out and flail his arms wildly, like he was about to take off into flight.

“Uhhm… Vincent….?” Cloud stared at him concerned and sweat dropping, “Yooouu okay there…?” ()

“Nooooo, get it off!!!” He was referring to the sock that was suck in his hair.

“Why are you in the floor?” Cloud chuckled nervously as he helped his friend up and removed said sock form his hair, “Ew, it has-”

“I KNOW!SHUTUP!” Vincent held his hand up and closed his eyes for a moment, trying to regain his composer.

“Uhhh… so why were you in here?” Cloud blinked.

“I got bored.”

“…We’re out of Coco Puffs?!” Cloud said in shock. Vincent nodded sadly.

“And you broke the television.”

“Oh heheheh, sorry about that.” Cloud rubbed the back of his head nervously.

“And-” Vincent gasped as he remembered the diary.

“WHAT?! Are you okay?”

“Huh? Oh yes! CL-LLLLOUD! Guess what I found out!!!!” :D Vincent was bobbing up and down like he was on a sugar high.

“Uhhh…” Cloud shook his head. There were just so many things that Vincent could have found out.

Please no cuddle bunny under my bed, please no cuddle bunny under my bed oh fuck pleaaaaaase….

“It’s about Ciii-iiiid!!!” Vincent said in sing song.

“Oh.” Cloud sighed in relief. His cuddle bunny was safe for another night…

“Uhh, what did you find out about Cid?”

Vincent let out an excited squee… okay, I think he’s on a sugar high …

“CID’S GAY!!!”

“Uh, ok-- OMG REALLY!?” Cloud said in shock and excited ness, “How did you-”

“I read his fuzzy pink diary.” Vincent nodded. Cloud sweat dropped.

“Erm… okay then. Vincent…” Cloud looked at his friend, and they both had the same idea.

“WE NEED TO THROW HIM A PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!” (XD)

And just that minute, Cid appeared. He dropped the box of Coco Puffs he had been holding, and little coco puffs of sugary joy spilled onto the floor.

“…WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM!!???”

“I uh, oh uh… HEY!!! COCO PUFFS!!!” Vincent tackled the box on the floor, not caring that it had touched the laundry, and began to stuff himself.

“Vinny was cleaning and found, uh…” He trailed off and made an excuse as to why they were both in there, “Vincent needed help with laundry, right?!”

“Mphsh.” Vincent mumbled though his mouthful of the chocolate cereal.

“I DON’T CARE, GET THE FUCK OUT!” Cid said angrily and pointed them out the door. He turned to Vincent, “And leave those damn things here. I bought them!”

He took the box from Vincent’s hands, who pouted and retreated to the living room. Cloud followed.

Once they were safe from being heard by Cid, they began to discuss the plans to the party…

And Tifa showed up…

“OMG, YOU’RE THOWRING A PARTY FOR- Mmph!” Vincent clamped a hand over her mouth and glared at her.

“Shush! Jeeezzus!! It’s a secret!” He said sharply and released her mouth. She nodded like a child and sat down between them. Cloud groaned when she tried to snuggle him.

Kill me. Cuddle bunny, please just kiiiillllll meeeeeeee. He was referring to the stuffed bunny toy under his bed that he liked to talk to at night and that kept the fiends away.

“Okay, so we’re throwing the party tomorrow… and we’re inviting someone….” Vincent’s voice dropped to a whisper, and so did Cloud and Tifa’s as they all discussed how the party would go off and when to send the invite…

And of course, ballooooons! (because no party is complete without balloons!)

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After all the plans were in place, the three went to bed, eager for it to be tomorrow so that they could party party:D

------------------------------------------(End part one of two!!!!)-----------------------------

Izzy:: Part two of the semi-high fic is coming at you sooon, because you’re invited to Cid’s party OMG YAAAYYYY!!! XD (please review :D)