Fic: Now Home Feels Foreign

Author: Kirstie (lullabylucky)

Notes: My first Twilight fanfiction. Please be nice. But honest. If I'm out of character, please tell me. And this is non-betaed, all mistakes are mine.

Spoilers: Up to New Moon. No Eclipse.

Disclaimer: Nothing’s mine. First little bit is taken right from New Moon.

Summary: October. November. December. January. My take on what happened after Edward left.

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001.

It will be as if I never existed, he'd promised me.

I felt the smooth wooden floor beneath my knees, and then the palms of my hands, and then it was pressed against the skin of my cheek. I hoped that I was fainting, but, to my disappointment, I didn't lose consciousness. The waves of pain that had lapped at me before now reared high up and washed over my head, pulling me under.

I did not resurface.

October. November. December. January.

I woke up the day of January 23rd, hoping to be able to pull through and follow my patterns.

I had to shower, breakfast, school, Newton's, homework, dinner, sleep. Lather, rinse, repeat. It's been the same routine for the past four months.

I slumped down the stairs after standing under the hot pulsing water of the shower and slid into the chair across from Charlie.

He looked up from the paper he was reading and onced me over.

I barely noticed but he spoke up with a, "Bella, you really need to-"

He stopped and I began chewing the inside of my cheek, knowing what was coming.

"Why don't you go out or something? Have fun? Be a teenager?"

I sighed and took this as a sign to continue, "Just because he left doesn't mean you have to stop being you."

As soon as the words were said, Charlie's eyes widened, realizing what he slipped out.

I glared up at him at once and slid the chair back from the table with more force than nessicary. It slammed against the nearby wall behind it.

The sound made both me and Charlie wince. I recovered fast and walked out the door, slamming it behind me.

I climbed in the truck and drove. I had no idea where to, school was soon, but suddenly I felt very sick. Me missing one day wouldn't hurt.

As soon as the anger washed off of me, I felt guilty. That back at the house had been a little melodramatic for me. But Charlie did say to be a teenager and that's how teenagers were.

I didn't realize I was driving towards the river until a driveway came into view. Subconcsiously, I had been driving to Edward.

Even after four months, I still wanted to believe he would be there. I drove up the driveway and opened the rusty Ford door in one swift motion. It groaned as it did and when I shut the door, specks of the rust fell onto the ground.

My tennis shoes became engulfed at once as my feet sunk into the muddy mess of a front yard. I made it to the door and opened it silently.

I peaked my head in first, feeling completely riduculous; I already knew no one was here, but I still felt as I was intruding.

I walked fully into the foyer, leaving the door open behind me. I took in the remaining items that the Cullens had left in their haste to make it out of Forks.

There was nothing really to see. The only thing left behind in the main room was Edward's grand piano, sheet music still on the mantle. I went to it and pulled the paper off, inspecting it. Untitled song for Bella, glared back at me.

Tears welled up unwillingly and I clutched the paper to my chest.

I moved through the house with ease, nothing left to trip me up, and made my way up the stairs. I passed room by room until I found the one I was looking for.

My hand shook as I turned the knob.

If I hadn't have known that this was his room just by knowing where it was, I would have never known that this was in fact his. Empty shelves lined the walls where his music used to be. My hand traced the wood lightly, leaving a trail as the dust gathered on my finger.

I walked to the window and fell ungracefully infront of it into a heap on the floor.

I started to cry then. It slipped out of me without permission and I instantly wanted it to stop. I was so weak. I just wanted to move on. He was not coming back. He doesn't want me.

I stayed there, on the floor, for hours. The sun rose and fell and I never moved an inch.

I didn't even hear the sound of the door creaking open downstairs, or the sound of someone walking up the stairs, or coming up behind me.

But I felt them when they bit into my neck.