Pairing: Naruto/Hinata

Written: January, 2007

Disclaimer: I do not claim to own Naruto. That right is only for a great god like Masashi Kishimoto (note sarcasm)

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This has been rotting away in my computer since January. It’s stupid and angst-y. I’m embarrassed to be posting this. Hinata's point of view mind you though there are bits here and there that I have no idea where they sprung up from. Confusion may occur.

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Love happens. Hurt happens. Truth hurts. Life continues.

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Whenever Naruto-kun was near I felt free, as though I could do anything. That was a lie. I could never do what I truly wanted, telling him how I felt.

I blushed and stuttered showing everyone how nervous I was around you and it hurt to know that they could see what I felt without having to say it when you couldn’t.

Your strength and determination gave me the confidence to push myself (it still does), especially when you look at me and tell me that I’m good.

I grow bolder when you’re near and the memory of you, Naruto-kun, makes me want to improve and I do.

I do.

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Love, I was sure of it.

With my dull eyes I admired you and your will and fell in love, not with the ‘dobe of the village’ as Uchiha-san often remarks rudely but with a boy who strives and yearns for acceptance and never, ever backs down on his word because when he says he’s going to be Hokage someday you can see that it is true.

We're alike, you and I.

We both want to be accepted for who we are.

I was so sure that you would love me for myself and not because I was strong like my otou-san did to Hanabi or because I was a genius like the Clan does to Neji but just because I was myself; quiet and timid Hinata Hyuga.

But that never happened did it? Life isn’t a fairytale; it is reality – brutal, harsh reality.

Someone else had long since stolen the part of you that I wanted – the part by your side, the part where you would have loved me.

You love me as a friend, nothing more and that hurt.

When I realized it that day I felt different. Like I was drifting in a dream, on the outside looking in and I could finally open my eyes and acknowledge that Sakura…your love for her is passionate and wild and just like me, you’re hurt knowing that she’s not in love with you but your best friend.

Sometimes I think I hate her for being so selfish. She wants Uchiha-san and yet she wants you always by her side comforting her when he doesn’t wish for her at all.

Until I remember she’s the same like me only her love doesn’t yearn for someone but for power and that must hurt a lot to know that.

Just like it hurts to know that the ones we love doesn’t love us.

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It’s dark and mysterious really when you realize the one you love doesn’t want you.

Succumbing to the numbing pain in your chest is the only way to move on and yet your heart bleeds in the silence of the night and you wonder if you can ever move on.

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Love happens. Like my love for Naruto, his for Sakura and hers for Uchiha-san.

Hurt happens. Rejection, every time our love denies us and we're left to wonder why we aren't good enough.

Truth hurts. To know that our precious person would never turn to us and smile with the warmth of love we want.

Life continues. Slowly our hearts will mend and we will learn to smile again and gradually I know we won’t forget our precious person but continue on for the future.

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End

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I want to gag and die. Angst-y with fluff, is that possible?

Sakura Haruno is a nice girl. When it comes to Sasuke she turns into someone that I dislike and I want to strangle her. I hope I didn't bash her, I really try not to!

I made grammar errors but of course me being who I am I ignore them until someone points them out to me and I just have to move my lazy ass into high gear and correct it...

Did my younger self do alright? Remember I wrote this way back in January and I am older.

(Physically yeah, mentally? Tch.)

Feedback is…dreaded.