Author: Llama Mama23 PM
The Cullens decide to play a prank on Edward. Will he find out? How is Bella involved? How far will the Cullens go with this trick? A silly oneshot.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Words: 3,960 - Reviews: 160 - Favs: 251 - Follows: 67 - Published: 08-17-07 - Status: Complete - id: 3730440
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
By: Llama mama23
A/N: This is dedicated to 'Murmmer' and 'YoolieYick' who are brave enough to talk to me, no matter how crazy I feel. This is a very pointless story, and the characters are a little OCC, but hopefully it works!
Disclaimer: I heard a rumor that I owned Twilight. But then I remembered that I'd started it in the first place, and humbly apologized to everyone who had thought otherwise.
I woke up to Edward's beautifully seraphic face, my heart skipping a beat when he kissed his way down my face, saving my lips for last. His kiss awakened me better than any dosage of caffeine would ever be able to, and my eyes opened wider as my heard sped up to hyperventilation level. He pulled away, his crooked smile reaching up to touch his golden eyes.
"Good morning beautiful." He murmured to me, not helping my heart to calm down any.
"Morning." I smiled at him. Every morning that I woke up to this, it still felt as if it was a dream, a perfect dream that would bring a whole new level to the word 'addiction' if anyone ever managed to turn it into a drug.
Edward lifted me in his marble arms, not jostling me a bit as he smoothly glided down the stairs. He sat me down on my usual kitchen chair, kissing my forehead as he let go of me. I noticed the note on the fridge from Charlie, saying that he'd be late at work, not to wait up, and that he suggested having a sleepover at Alice's since I hadn't been able to see her in quite some time. Edward waltzed over to the pantry, already knowing what I would want for breakfast, and fully intending to fix it for me. I smiled even wider than I already was; my life was too perfect. Well, the majority of it. Okay, a few select parts, most of which had something to do with Edward.
I watched as Edward worked diligently to make my pop tart as perfect as it could be without being considered gourmet, blinking when he disappeared for a moment. Where did he go?
But he re-appeared at the exact second my pop tarts leaped out of the toaster. He placed them delicately on a plate he'd pulled out of no where, and as he slid it in front of me, I saw the long, red-pedaled rose that he had evidently just run out to pick resting lightly on the corner of the plate. I looked up at him as he watched me, meeting his gorgeous topaz eyes with my plain brown ones.
He motioned mutely for me to eat, picking up the rose before I could and placing it on the center of the table. I saw the multiple thorns sticking out from the stem, just daring me to poke them and see what happened.
I ate my deliciously warm breakfast, watching Edward watch me most of the time. Not that I minded.
I could hear his cell phone vibrate in his pocket, causing me to inhale sharply at the unexpected noise. He grinned at me before it flashed to his ear, and his gaze broke from mine to stare out the window at nothing.
"Yes?" he said softly, speaking into his miniscule silver device. "I'm at Bella's, why?" he asked. He listened for a moment, before lowering the phone slightly to speak to me again.
"Would you like to come over today? Alice is desperate for your company." He waited for me to finish chewing, and I took longer than usual to mull over the possibility that my 'company' would involve being a substitute for a Barbie doll. I figured that there was a slightly large possibility, but if I begged Edward enough, he wouldn't let them get anywhere near me.
"Alice says that whatever your thinking right now won't work. How do you know what she's thinking?" he asked into the phone.
"She also says that you have no choice in the matter. You're coming, like it or not. Alice, I don't know if I like you threatening Bella." It was slightly amusing that he was having to play messenger, and still express his own opinions, but the thought of spending five to six hours in Alice's vast bathroom wiped any smile off my face that was developing.
"Okay. Goodbye." He hung up, smiling at me sheepishly. "Sorry. You don't have to come if you don't want to." His eyes, possibly without his knowledge of it, took on a puppy dog look, a look that simply couldn't be refused.
"Alright." I mumbled, shoving the last of my pop tart into my mouth. "Let me go get dressed." I bounced up the stairs carefully, trying not to give Edward a reason to run all the way up the stairs simply to catch me.
I threw on some casual jeans and a T-shirt, knowing that Alice was probably going to be putting me into a different outfit anyway. No doubt one that was ridiculously expensive that I would never wear again in my life.
I skipped down the stairs, not in the least surprised when I tripped on the last step. What was surprising was that Edward didn't catch me. I tumbled to the ground hitting the floor quite hard, but not hard enough to cause more pain then the majority of my escapades involved. I groaned onto the carpet that had been placed at the foot of the stairs. I have a lurking suspicion that Charlie put that carpet here for the sole reason of cushioning my falls down the stairs.
"Floor, meet face. Face, meet floor. I'm sure you will both get along quite well." My mother used to say that whenever I took a stumble down the stairs back in Phoenix, and I hadn't had much opportunity to say it here in Forks, as Edward was usually there to catch me. Speaking of Edward…
"Edward?" I asked, sitting up from my face-plant position. The front door flew open and Edward ran to my side. He lifted me into his arms a second before the door slammed shut behind him.
"Are you alright? Which stair did you trip on? Does your head hurt? Do we need to call Carlisle? I'm so sorry!" his eyes were panic-stricken and prodded gently over my head to most likely check for bruises or bumps, and I suspected that he might also be checking for holes in my skull. He didn't seem satisfied that I would live until I climbed down from his arms, standing solidly on my own two feet.
"I'm perfectly fine! Don't worry about it! My face and the floor needed a reunion anyways." He continued to look slightly worried, and I rolled my eyes at him, stepping out the door and into the mist that was a trademark of Forks. He followed me, opening the passenger side door of his car like the gentlemen he was.
He was in his seat before my door had finished closing, and started the car, which purred to life softly.
He took my hand in his, driving one handed down the empty road. I noticed that he threw a few worried glances at me, and I remembered all the times he'd told me that I worried too much.
We turned off into the hidden road, and I watched the trees whip past us at breakneck speed until we pulled up in front of the house. He paused before opening his door, turning to me after a minute.
"If you don't mind, I would feel much better if Carlisle took a look at your head. Alright?" I rolled my eyes at him, knowing that I would get examined by Carlisle either way, no matter if I liked it or not. He rushed me out of the car and into the house, having to pick me up to avoid Alice's sure-to-be-bone-crushing-hug.
We entered Carlisle's office without knocking, and he looked up from the thick volume he was reading.
"What is it?" he asked, obviously sensing that something was wrong.
"Bella fell down. And I wanted to make sure she was alright." Edward said. I'm pretty sure I heard a loud snicker from downstairs that sounded suspiciously like Emmett.
"Was there something different about this particular fall?" Carlisle moved over to me, lightly prodding my skull in several places.
"Any pain?" he asked me.
"No. Edward is making me do this. I am perfectly fine." I told him, rolling my eyes again.
"I didn't see her fall. I didn't see how bad it was." Edward replied, ignoring my response.
"On the contrary, Bella. You are not fine." He stood up strait again, and he had a strange glint in his eyes that I'd never seen before.
"What? She's not?" Edward's voice sounded slightly panicked.
"Edward, you have two medical degrees, you should have been able to figure this out. She has a terrible concussion. From what I can tell, her brain is slightly bruised. You need to run to the store and get some ice."
Edward was out the door as soon as Carlisle finished his sentence, no doubt running to the local store faster than the air around him was.
"A concussion?" I asked Carlisle. I'd had concussions before; I knew what they felt like. I did not have a concussion. I also knew that, even if I had one; ice didn't help a concussion in any way.
Carlisle paused a moment, and then burst out laughing. Emmett, Jasper, and Alice all walked into the room, also laughing hysterically.
"Did you see how fast he ran out of here?" Emmett chortled.
Alice turned to me, obviously seeing my confused expression. "We wanted to see how panicked Edward would get if he thought you were hurt. Jasper threw some anxiety at him, to get him to have Carlisle examine your head. And he's so worried that he evidently forgot everything he knows about medicine." She broke down into giggles.
"Will you play along when he gets back? We want to see how far we can go before he cracks. Or figures it out. Whichever comes first." Jasper asked, still grinning widely.
"Can't he read your minds?" I asked, only finding a little bit of humor in this. When Edward figured it out, he would be deathly furious, and I didn't particularly like the idea of that fury aimed at me; or anyone else for that matter.
"Nope! We're thinking how much we love each other, if you know what I mean." Emmett said gleefully.
"Emmett, we always know that you mean." Jasper said back.
Carlisle seemed to calm down from his laughing. "Edward will be back soon, and I'm going to try to 'cure' your concussion. Play along with it, and gasp in pain every now and again, and Edward won't have any idea." I was surprised that someone as mature as Carlisle had willingly gotten involved in this. My shock must have shown on my face, for he said "Edward is always the calm one, he never falls for any tricks. He always sees through them, as he can read out minds. Over the past century, he has played multiple tricks on all of us. Myself included. I felt it was time for a little payback." Everyone grinned at me, and I heard the front door slam shut.
"Here's the ice!" a frantic Edward appeared, holding a large bag of ice in his hands. Carlisle took it from him, setting it on his desk.
"It's gotten worse." He told Edward solemnly. I think she may have hit her head exceptionally hard. She said she fell from the top stair, so the impact must have been greater than I feared. She may be having internal bleeding plus a concussion." He turned back to me, touching a small part of my head lightly, and I decided that everyone here deserved a little revenge. I wouldn't let it go on long; just long enough that they felt better.
"Ouch!" I hissed, trying to make it sound realistic. Edward had once said I was a terrible actress; now was my chance to prove him wrong.
"Oh, Bella! I'm so sorry I wasn't there! I didn't think you'd want to run, so I went back to get the car… I should have gone faster, enough to save you from falling at all!" I almost cracked at the guilt in his voice, almost tried to tell him that I was fine, but Carlisle turned his back on him, facing where only I could see him. He gave me a stern look, one that clearly said 'don't you dare'. I shoved down the guilty part of me, hoping that I would be strong enough to do this.
"It's okay Edward, it's not your fault I'm a klutz." That was about as much re-assurance that I could give him, and I turned my face to Carlisle's to avoid his guilty, and panic-stuck expression.
"I think we may be able to stop this before it gets too deadly. We don't have time to go to a hospital, plus I have all my things here." He reached his hand into the ice bag, pulling out a cube. Uh-oh. I hope he wasn't planning on touching me with that. Edward's skin was cold, in a good way, but ice was just abnormally cold, and I hoped I could avoid contact with it.
"I was just reading a book about how a patient can be healed by doing some specific things. Open your mouth, Bella." I sighed, opening my mouth without comment. Carlisle pushed the ice gently into my mouth, and I almost choked on how cold it was.
"Okay, now I'm going to need you to slowly walk in three circles." Carlisle said, his face perfectly smooth. I looked at him, trying to say with my eyes 'Are you serious?'
"Go, Bella! Three circles! Come on! You can do it!" Edward encouraged me. Edward was right, I was a terrible actress. I started on my first circle very slowly so that my back was to Edward. I let a large grin cover my face for a split second before I turned back to him, having completed my first circle. I kept my face as smooth as possible while walking; making three small circles around the chair I had been sitting in.
"Good Bella. How does your brain feel?" I thought about it and realized I was getting a brain freeze. Was that the point of the ice? To make my 'pain' real?
I groaned slightly, dreading what was to come. I hated brain freezes. I'd avoided all things cold for a month after the first time I had one. Edward was by my side in an instant, and as he was about to wrap his arms around me, Carlisle stepped between us.
"Edward, you shouldn't touch her. Cold things are bad when having a concussion." Edward nodded mutely backing away from me, the panic still written across his face. I almost laughed, barely stopping myself in time. Cold things were bad for concussions. Yet here I was with a piece of ice in my mouth. I couldn't believe that Edward couldn't figure this out! Even I would have figured it out by now! But as I glanced at him, his expression was full of guilt, anguish, fear, desperation, it was too much. No matter how much I wanted the Cullens to have their revenge, this was hurting Edward. Too much. His eyes looked the same as they had when Jane had turned her torturing gaze on him back in Volterra.
I opened my mouth to tell Edward that I was fine; that I wasn't hurt to begin with, but just then, the brain freeze kicked in. I was rendered completely speechless, and through my eyes, squinted from the pain, I saw Alice smile slightly. So that had been the reason for the ice. She'd known that I would have spilled the beans around now. Even through my pain, I had to admit that it was brilliant. I hadn't suspected anything like this. I suppose this was how Edward would feel as soon as he realized that this was all a hoax.
The waves of frosty-pain intensified, and despite my realization that this would only fuel their story of my pain, I moaned, hating that I wasn't strong enough to endure a brain freeze in silence. The transformation was going to be difficult…
Edward echoed my whimper, making my eyes swivel over to him, he looked heartbroken; like he was a little boy and his favorite puppy was being murdered before his eyes.
I tried to tell him with my eyes that I was fine, but Carlisle stepped between us again, breaking our eye contact. I moved my eyes to him, telling him that this was enough. But he only smiled apologetically at me, still trying to hide that glint of humor in his eyes.
I vaguely wondered if they knew this was close to torture for me. I'd always been strongly affected by brain freezes, and my self conscious defended them by saying that they had no way of knowing that. They probably assumed that it would make me be quiet for a few moments, not knowing that I was in more pain then they had intended me to be.
To my relief, the brain freeze started to die, easing my pain slightly. Carlisle moved to pick up another piece of ice, and I darted away from him, toward Edward.
This needed to stop. I swallowed the remainder of the ice, ignoring the pain that traveled down my throat with it.
"Edward," I gasped. "I'm fine. There's nothing wrong with me." I gasped a little; feeling like my throat had declared itself the North Pole without my permission, making me feel that I could freeze something by simply breathing on it.
"Bella, do what Carlisle says. It's for your own good." He picked me up, careful not to touch my skin, his eyes still tortured, and carried me back to where Carlisle stood waiting. As he carried me, I saw Emmett shaking with silent laughter, and Alice attempting to shut him up.
Before another ice cube was cruelly forced into my mouth, I managed to gasp out "Emmett!"
Edward's brow furrowed and he looked over at Emmett, who didn't notice that I had said his name.
Emmett was still shaking with laugher, his eyes closed from his violent quakes.
As I watched, I saw the pain and misery slowly leave Edward's face being slowly replaced by undiluted fury.
"Uh-oh" I heard Alice say. Emmett opened his eyes, looking at her, and then followed her horrified gaze to Edward's stiff form. His smile disappeared, fear making itself known on his face. I watched at Jasper and Alice slowly slipped out of the room, hoping to get far enough away to save themselves from Edward's wrath. Frankly I thought they could move to another continent and that wouldn't be far enough away. I hoped that he wouldn't be angry at me. Everyone else deserved it.
A slow growl began to rise in his throat, and he turned slowly to face Carlisle and me, his eyes now a flat black.
"Bella. Are you alright?" I hacked the ice cube out of my mouth, grateful that the brain freeze hadn't kicked in yet. "I am now. I'm so sorry Edward. I didn't think it would go this fa- " Edward held up his hand, stopping me from speaking further.
"I'm not angry at you, but please still love me even after I kill them."
His eyes moved behind me to Carlisle's still form.
"I'm choosing not to be angry with you. Since they blackmailed you into it." I felt Carlisle sag in relief and hearing him take a breath, I realized that he hadn't been breathing.
"However I'd appreciate it immensely if you were to cancel all of Alice's credit cards. Jasper's and Emmett's too, please." Carlisle nodded, relieved that he got off the hook that easily.
Edward walked forward swiftly to press his lips to my forehead. "I'm so sorry that they subjected you to this."
"You're sorry? I LET them! I played along! I'm so, so, so, sorry, Edward." He smiled at me softly.
"It's not your fault. Thank you for figuring out how to tell me." He kissed my forehead again lightly, before turning around and walking slowly towards the door.
"Edward! I ran after him, capturing his hand with my own. "Please don't kill them." I couldn't believe I was doing this. Maybe I was too forgiving for my own good.
"They're already dead." He mumbled to me, slightly twitching towards the door.
"Please don't try to do anything to them. You know that with no credit cards, Alice won't be able to do anything, Jasper will stay with her, and if Emmett's Xbox mysteriously wound up broken, don't you think that that would be enough? Please?" I begged him. I knew that if I let him go, he probably wouldn't really hurt anyone, but he was too angry for me to be sure. He'd once told me that I could ask him to do anything and he would do it (with the exception of changing me) so I hoped that he would do this, for me.
His jaw clenched, his eyes locking on mine. "Please?" I whispered out again. He sighed heavily and the fury in his eyes began to ebb away.
"Only you." He murmured so softly I almost didn't hear it.
"I love you." I told him, wrapping my arms around his slender waist. He folded his arms around my shoulders, and I'm pretty sure I felt him kiss the top of my head.
"Come on." He said, towing me toward the door.
"Where are we going?" I asked him, waving goodbye to Carlisle, who was now back at his desk, continuing on his book while typing credit card numbers into the computer.
"We're destroying Emmett's Xbox. And all his games. And we're painting his jeep a bright pink." He smirked, and swung me up into his arms so he was no longer dragging me.
"After we're done with that, we're decorating Jasper and Alice's room in the colors of the union. Jasper hates the union, and Alice doesn't like the colors."
"Then we're burning everything in Alice's closet, followed closely by dyeing all the water in the hot water heater a bright blue. Alice takes more showers then the rest of us, so chances are she'll be the first one blue."
"Won't she see you planning all that?" I asked him. He smiled at me.
"Not if I don't make up my mind to do it. I'm only brainstorming."
Kinda silly and pointless, but still fun! Hope you enjoyed! Review and tell me!