Summery: In which, Sasori gains, through a string of seemingly unfortunate incidents, a new partner named Deidara. Reluctant to form any kind of friendship with the young Iwa missing-nin, Deidara seeks to get to know Sasori, while adjusting to his new life in the evil organisation of the Akatsuki.

Disclaimer: This product is meant for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Some assembly required. Batteries not included. Use only as directed. Flammable.

A/N: Yatta! I return, after my unpardonably long absense, with a new chapter!

Sincerely, I'm sorry for the long wait you all had to suffer. I'm into my second year of uni now, and when I realised last week that I hadn't updated this since the christmas break, I got right on to writing it. And so, here we are a week later, and I'm well and truly back into the story - I can say with relief. I've very well mapped out the remaining chapters of the story (only about 10 to go!) and am already in the process of writing them. So, hopefully you can expect another chapter in a week or so! *crosses fingers*

And so, without further ado - I repent, by giving you the longest chapter yet.

I do hope people are still reading this old story...

Why not go out on a limb?

That’s where the fruit is.

Chapter 34: Duty Calls

“I still don’t get it. Why do I have to do it again?”

Sighs and groans chorused.

“Because you are best suited for the position.” A gentle voice replied patiently.

“But, Itachi-san,” The tall blue man turned to frown unhappily at the dark-haired youth beside him. “I just know I’m not gonna look any good in a dress!”

Dragging their feet slowly before them, the four darkly-coloured figures would appear only as black dots from any distance, surrounded on all sides as they were by deep, wispy snow, as it fell feather-light to the ground from the sky above - impeccably white, and unbearably cold, as it seeped into every crevice of their clothing.

“You will look fine.” Itachi reassured monotonously, his tone flat and expression unreadable, as he trudged heavily through the snow - and still managed to maintain a level of grace to his movement.

“You would look better!” Kisame crowed in response, and turned instantly to Deidara for confirmation of this - but received nothing of the sort, as the blonde boy was focused entirely on the task of heaving his shorter legs through the snow in front of him, a scowl deeply etched on his young face.

“Kisame,” A guttural voice reached them then, harsh and grating, as it emanated from the hulking figure ahead of them. “You know that Itachi cannot fill that roll,” He told the other, though his voice made it sound scolding. “And so, you will.”

A moment of contemplative silence followed.

“No one’s gonna believe that I am a Geisha.” The shark-nin muttered bitterly then, crossing his arms over his chest as he pushed easily through the snow, his feet lifting and falling in the deep white mass with ease.

Deidara scowled at his friend, his own feet clambering through the snow clumsily. “Well, I have to do it too, un.”

“Yeah, but at least you can pass as a girl!” Kisame exclaimed woefully, missing the glare he was sent by the irritable blonde, as he turned back to his partner. “And Itachi-san, as the second most feminine, should have to dress up as well!”

“That is not an option.” Itachi replied simply.

“Hn.” The gravelly voice agreed readily, and Deidara could almost imagine Sasori nodding from inside the bulking form of Hiruko. “It may be difficult passing Kisame off as a Geisha, but the Yugami would find it even harder to believe that among all of its members, Akatsuki did not send its two best negotiators - that being Itachi, and myself.”

Kisame opened his mouth to retort, before the conversation halted abruptly as Deidara lost his footing - for what must have been the fifth time - in the slippery sleet of snow underfoot, and the boy was suddenly teetering forward with a bark of panic; only to be caught with an ‘oof’ by the solid wooden coil of Hiruko’s tail.

Grunting in displeasure, and blowing irritably at the locks of blonde hair that had fallen into his eyes, the Iwa-nin righted himself with a string of curse words that would have brought a blush to Hidan’s pallad face - as the clicking puppet’s tail slipped away, the boy avoiding the poisoned tip as it waved through the air, coming to settle behind its owner once again without comment - and the group walked on in silence.

Deidara hated the snow. There was none to be found in Iwa, and during all of his childhood the worst his village had ever had to offer in the winter was an occasional wind - nothing anywhere near the supposed ‘summer’ of Yukigakure, the Village Hidden in the Snow, where they were headed.

The blonde huffed unhappily, his face flushed and raw from the persistent winds that blew past them every now and then, as his arms bundled the deep billows of his cloak close to his body.

They had been traveling for two days in such weather.

“When are we going to get there, un?” The boy demanded then, his eyes fixing on the form of Hiruko, as the puppet glided easily across the harsh terrain.

“It is not far.” The grim voice responded, without turning to acknowledge him, and Deidara frowned further at the lack of tenderness in Hiruko’s voice that was usually present in Sasori’s when the older man spoke to him. “The Geisha house is called Yukionna, and is renowned in this part of the country.”

“Hn...” Kisame hummed in agreement, a fond smile overcoming his expression, instantly dissipating his poor mood. “I remember it, went there once when I was a youngster. My sensei took me as a reward for making Chuunin...” The shark-nin drawled with a suggestive laugh, “Man, those girls sure know how to make a man happy- ow!”

Itachi sharply elbowed his partner, eyes flashing red for a moment, before an uncharacteristically sweet smile filtered into his expression. “Well then, Kisame-koi,” He accentuated the nickname sarcastically, “I’m sure you’ll be looking forward to becoming one of those women.”

The shark-nin’s expression instantly fell, dread of the coming mission filling him once again, as the Uchiha stalked moodily ahead of him. “Aw, come on, ‘Tachi!” He called in a whining, apologetic tone. “You know you’re my one and only!”

The large blue man lumbered after his partner, easily catching up to the dark-haired youth in the deep mounds of snow, as the two continued to bicker loudly - or, really, Kisame bickered loudly and Itachi muttered under his breath - as Deidara’s eyes came to fix on his own partner.

An awkward moment passed then, as Deidara hesitated to move or speak in the sudden quiet, feeling Sasori’s tense presence through the puppet he wielded - and the blonde tried to picture the redheaded man that sat inside of it.

“Danna-” He started, and then stopped short, not entirely sure what he was going to say - and wondering suddenly if the older man would appreciate his company, though the puppet’s head tilted slightly to gaze at him.

The boy quickened his pace decisively then, in an attempt to get closer to the hulking puppet - and was reassured, when Sasori slowed down a moment later, the two coming to walk side by side - Sasori shifting closer to the boy without a word. Deidara smiled brightly, though the other didn’t see it, as they continued on in a companionable silence - Hiruko’s tail hovering behind the blonde protectively.

It wasn’t long until the Village Hidden in the Snow came into view. Boots crunching underfoot as they came to stand in firmer, well-trodden snow-covered ground, the Akatsuki-nins looked down the small white hill they stood upon to gaze on the many huts and houses that made up Yukigakure, catching site of a few of the many people that populated the small village.

Not being a particularly strong or noteworthy Hidden Village, though it was rumored that some of their ninja wore special chakra-armor that made them virtually immune to ninjutsu and genjutsu, Yukigakure was a well-known vacation spot for shinobi - the village raking in the majority of its capital from the many pleasure houses, onsens and resorts that it held - the most notable of which was a certain Geisha house, located on the far left side of the settlement.

Heading towards the most acclaimed establishment in Yuki, the four cloaked shinobi treaded carefully into the village - though there wasn’t much in the way of security to be boasted of, and it was well-known that ‘alternative’ organisations such as the Akatsuki were not unwelcome here - the knowledge that a rival organisation (albeit a small one) awaited them was enough to convince the Akatsuki-nins to stay alert; as they marched purposefully, passing in-between houses and across ice-covered streets into the deep forest where Itachi led them, Sharingan blaring, towards their destination.

A short while later, a large traditionally-styled structure with a wide balcony came into view from behind the snow-laden branches of the trees, the sign above two large bolted doors reading ‘Yukionna - Geisha House’.

They came to a halt as Itachi turned his back on the impressive structure, Sharingan flickering away - and Deidara followed the others’ line of sight, eyes fastening on the large puppet beside him, where Sasori stepped out of Hiruko’s open hatch, storing the travelling-module away in its respective scroll - as the four Akatsuki members came together conversely.

“I will lead the negotiations.” Sasori announced instantly, and Itachi nodded his understanding - it was the usual way of things on diplomatic missions, the redheaded puppeteer being the most subtle of the two of them. “Itachi and I will be stationed in the fourth room of the house, away from the rest of the guests, where we will conduct the meeting with the Yugami clan members.”

“So, what are me and Dei gonna do while you’re doin’ that?” Kisame asked with a frown, begrudgingly accepting the task he had ahead of him.

Sasori looked to the shark-nin seriously. “You are to acquire the necessary garments you will require to pass as Geisha in the house, and ensure that you will be the only ones servicing the room in which the negotiations are held.”

Deidara frowned then too, as his partner began unstrapping his kunai pouches and shuriken holsters along with Itachi, the two organisation representatives leaving themselves weaponless as they discarded their cloaks on the forest floor, prepared to enter a neutral zone - and the blonde boy shared a dubious look with the shark-nin. “But, Danna, un, how are we going to get gowns and stuff?”

The redheaded puppeteer shrugged uncaringly. “It doesn't matter how. Just do it.” He replied sternly, “And ensure that you scout the house when undercover, we don’t want any unexpected guests.” The older man straightened his cloak, ensuring that both he and Itachi appeared presentable while not posing any direct threat, before he turned - and suddenly, his gaze caught on Deidara’s.

The partners stared at each other for a drawn-out moment, wide blue eyes portraying some open emotion that Sasori couldn’t decipher, his own red-brown orbs lingering but unreadable, before he turned back towards the Yukionna - and ignoring the flutter in his heart, stalked forward, Itachi at his side.

The man merely muttered under his breath; “Be careful.” In the quietest of tones, before he and the Uchiha emerged from the forest, and headed purposefully towards the ornate double doors of the Geisha house.

Deidara and Kisame watched through gaps in the branches of the trees, as their partners were greeted instantly at the door by giggling, dolled-up Geisha - and retracted their heads to frown at each other, the appearance of the women only reminding them of the difficulties they would have passing themselves off as more of them.

“Where the hell are we gonna get the stuff we need to look like that, un?” The blonde asked despairingly, crossing his arms over his chest in an attempt to ward off the chill in the air around them.

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I doubt there's enough ‘stuff’ in the world that could get me to look anywhere near that.” Kisame replied emphatically, gesturing towards the house.

Deidara sighed, hands rubbing at his sore cheeks. “Maybe we could sneak in, un, and see if they have any spare dresses?”

“Yeah, and then we need those hair-clip things they wear, and that white stuff they put on their face...” Kisame drawled.

Deidara groaned loudly in exasperation. What was the likelihood that they would have all of those things lying around? And anyway, Sasori would tell him it was too risky to attempt sneaking in without a plausible cover, the blonde was sure.

“If we at least had the dresses, then maybe we could say we were running late or somethin’, and get the women to give us some of their make-up-”

“Shh!” The boy hushed the shark-nin abruptly then, as his eye-scope caught sudden movement in the vicinity of the Yukionna, close to where they hid in the thick trees of the forest.

Kisame hushed, listening intently alongside the blonde, as giggling high-pitched voices could be heard rolling out from behind the trees, heading towards them - feet falling heavily, as what sounded like a pair of girls came stumbling through the snow.

Sharing a questioning look, the Akatsuki men turned silently to peer around the trunk of a particularly large tree, gazing out at the edge of the forest, where they instantly spotted two women - giggling and carrying on, and obviously drunk.

“Jeeze, is it even noon?” Kisame asked, one eyebrow raised skeptically.

But Deidara’s eyes widened, as the women turned towards them then, heading into the forest a little ways - and the boy elbowed his friend excitedly, as a wide smile fitted over his face.

“They’re Geisha!” He exclaimed in a whisper, turning wide eyes on the shark-nin - as the other man gazed back at the women, noticing for the first time their elaborate gowns and pale faces, and grinned toothily.

“What luck, huh?” The blue man whispered back, and drew Samehada from his back in reflex. “Well, what are we waitin’ for-”

“Hold on, un.” Deidara stopped him though, his expression turned serious. “We have to get them from behind. They may be drunk, un, but they’ll still scream if they spot us coming towards them.” The blonde then pointed disapprovingly at the shark-nin’s sword. “And put that away, un! You’ll ruin the dresses if you come at them with that!”

Kisame resheathed his sword sheepishly, fitting the gigantic shaving blade to his back once again with an apologetic smile, before they both returned their gaze to the stumbling women.

The two Geisha had their hair mused and faces flushed, laughing ever louder as they came nearer to the hidden Akatsuki-nins, arms flung over each other for support, and talking mostly in gibberish, before a very pronounced; “I gotta’ piss!” Resounded in the forest.

Deidara wondered passingly how two such unrefined-looking girls had gotten a job at the most prestigious Geisha house in the country - before all thought fled him, the blonde boy beholding more than he ever would have liked of the female anatomy, as the louder of the two girls promptly hiked up her dress and soiled the icy forest floor.

And in that extremely unpleasant moment, all that Kisame muttered, with a look of horror upon his face, was; “That's not very ladylike...”

Deidara shook his head, ignoring the slight blush that had overcome his cheeks, as he drew a kunai from his belt - and nudging Kisame, they both walked silently forward, advancing on the chattering Geisha.

A few minutes later found two unconscious women laying in only their undergarments in a bush, safely lifted from the snow-covered forest ground so that they wouldn’t freeze, and a couple of disgruntled, uncomfortable Akatsuki criminals - fussing with their dresses.

“Damnit, I should’ve worn the red one.”

“The red one wouldn’t fit you, un, and anyway, the blue complements your skin tone.”

“Well, yeah, but with the pink obi? Tac-ky!”

“So we’ll get you some pink eyeshadow, un, it’ll work.”

“I guess.” The shark-nin grumbled, as Deidara fussily straightened the front folds of his kimono, and they set their gaze on the Geisha house determinedly.

“Alrght,” Deidara sighed, straightening his back in preparation, and thinking womanly thoughts. “Lets go.”

“Hold it.” Kisame held out one large blue hand, halting the blonde and pointing meaningfully at the left side of the boy’s face. “You’re gonna have to take that off first. T’d be a little suspicious for a Geisha, don’t cha’ think?”

The blonde’s hand flittered up to his face, feeling the cold metal of his eye-scope against his hand, and after a hesitant moment, nodded his understanding. Cupping his fingers around the gadget, he slowly lifted it off of his face, his vision flickering away as he instantly became blind in his left eye.

“Just make sure I don’t run into anything, un.” The boy told the other. “Or anybody.”

“Don’t worry!” Kisame reassured, a large grin showing off his sharp, pointed teeth, as he pounded Deidara friendily on the back, sending the thin blonde almost off his feet.

The boy sent him a disapproving look, as the man laughed heartily. “And would you at least act somewhat like a woman, un?” The blonde asked with a frown, rubbing his now-sore shoulder. “You’re not going to fool anyone if you go around punching people, un.”

“Oh, yeah.” The shark-nin forced his expression to turn serious, as he straightened his own posture, and folded his hands daintily under the sleeves of his kimono. “I’m ready.”

Deidara twitched in doubt, but nodded anyway, concentrating on walking steadily through the snow in the wooden sandals he now wore, as he and Kisame made their way slowly around to the entrance of the house, lifting the hems of their dresses as they went.

After a minute or so of painful walking, in which Deidara had almost twisted his ankle twice, the ornate double doors finally came into view - and they hurried towards them, the last stretch of the Geisha house wall seeming a mile, as they pushed on, before-

“Hey!” They heard a sudden voice call out, and stopped still - freezing in their tracks. “What are you two doing out here?”

Eyes wide with panic, the two Akatsuki men turned ever so slowly to gaze back the way they had come, and were surprised to see an open door in the wall of the Geisha house where before there had been nothing, light spilling out onto the snow from inside the secret room, and a figure squinting at them from the doorway. Standing awkwardly in their poorly-folded kimonos and mismatched hair, the two men’s eyes fell on a dumpy older woman with an expression drawn in serious lines, as the younger of them both forced a smile on his face.

“Er, hello.” The blonde returned in greeting to the speaker, not entirely sure what to do, and forcing down the ‘un’ he almost added at the end, knowing his speech-trait was too unique to be inconspicuous.

The woman only seemed to frown more fiercely at Deidara’s dim response, though. “I asked what you two are doing out here!” She shouted suddenly, the half of her body that hung out of the door way jolting at her demand.

The men jumped, looking to each other at a loss, as Kisame mumbled; “Um...”

“Never mind!” The woman snapped, a long pipe coming to fit between her painted lips, as she scowled at them both. “The guests of room four have finally all arrived, so you two will be serving them.”

Deidara was taken aback by this command. There was no way they were that fortunate, was there?

As the boy turned to look at Kisame, though, all wide eyes and blank expression, he was relieved to see that the shark-nin had heard it too - as the large blue man had a grin plastered on his face, mouthing to the blonde; ‘lucky!’.

“Well, get over here!” The woman shouted then, her ferocity ever more evident, and the two kimono-clad men scurried as quickly as they could through the snow, appearing even less elegant than they felt in their awkward wooden sandals - and avoiding the aggressive woman’s gaze, they soon came to stand inside a room heady with lit incense, and bustling with other Geisha.

They stopped still.

“What the hell happened to you both?” The dumpy woman, who only barely reached up to Kisame’s waist, asked them both then - and leaning forward, she sniffed their clothes, pulling back with a face full of disgust. “Have you two been drinking?”

“Er...” Kisame replied intelligently, before clearing his throat, and replying in the best high-pitched voice he could manage; “Yeah, uh, lots of sake!”

Deidara had to hide the look of revulsion that threatened to overtake his face at Kisame’s squeal, and the sickly smile that followed it.

But the woman, for a moment, appeared slightly scandalised - and the Akatsuki-nins wondered suddenly if Kisame had said the wrong thing. Those two girls had been drinking, after all...

“Well, you know the rules.” The woman replied gravely then, and the men’s eyes widened in dread - had they lost their jobs already? “We don’t tolerate this kind of behaviour here at the Yukionna. Not on a Wednesday, anyway.”

“Oh, please, u-” Deidara pleaded sincerely then, and had to bite back the ‘un’ he almost let slip, as he gazed imploringly at the short woman, his delicate hands folding in a prayer in front of him. “Don’t take us off duty! We really need this job today!”

The woman sniffed rudely at that, but gave a noise that suggested the blonde was out of his mind, as Deidara fell back.

“Don’t be ridiculous!” She shouted at the boy, and the blonde felt instantly relieved, feeling Kisame relax beside him. “We couldn’t spare two of you when we have so many customers today!” She scolded harshly, though her eyes met Deidara’s and Kisame’s gravely then. “But, know this,” she told them in an unforgiving tone, her nose turned up at them even from her meagre height. “You will never work in this, or any other Geisha house, again after this day!”

A long, dramatic moment passed then - the two men standing, utterly mute and still, in front of the fearsome woman - before their gazes turned ever so slowly to each other, their eyebrows lifting in a shrug, and they nodded.

“Yeah, sure, whatever-”

“-If you think that's best-”

“-Never really thought I was cut out for it, anyway-”

“-Always wanted to be a chef.”

The small woman gazed at them both incredulously, her brow furrowed, as a silence passed between the three then - and she simply stood, her tone softer than it had been, as he told them blankly; “Get dressed, girls... you’ll be entertaining four men today.”

Kisame nodded excitedly, trying not to grin and show his teeth, as he gave a little giggle of appreciation - the woman turning and walking away from them, shaking her head - and Deidara gave the shark-nin a queer look.

But both of their attentions were drawn to the room at large then, as they turned to see more than thirty Geisha standing in utter silence - only now noticing them, it seemed - as they stared at the newcomers with mixed expressions of confusion and distaste marring their pretty faces.

“Er...” Deidara rubbed the back of his head awkwardly, attempting a small smile and a light laugh. “We just, ah...”

But the boy stopped stilled then, and both he and Kisame jumped - as the girls instantly, as though on cue, broke out into thirty identical sadistic grins.

The Akatsuki-nins wondered if they should run, but were hardly given the time - as a moment later, the Geisha had stalked towards the men, the criminals backing away desperately with every step - until they were cornered against the wall, staring with wide eyes at the smirking women. Then, deviously, the Geisha raised their make-up brushes.

Kisame whimpered.

Deidara fought the urge to scream.

“If the Yugami are to take the South, then Akatsuki will require the East and North.”

“No, our clan needs the North. Perhaps the Akatsuki will trade the East for the West?”

“Akatsuki refuses to inherit the troubles that the Yugami have left in the West. And would not your clan have need of it, anyway, if you are to travel between your trades locations in the South and North?”

“Yes, that is true...” The man across from Sasori pushed his glasses further up the bridge of his nose, his tone even and low. “But if the Akatsuki are to take the East and the North, leaving Yugami the South and the West, we will be at a disadvantage of territory in ratio to the amount of villages and settlements in all quarters.”

Sasori frowned for a moment. It was a delicate procedure, negotiating for spy territory, he thought. There were certain places in Yukigakure that the Akatsuki could not afford to have unmonitored, and it was the same with the Yugami - but both organisations had lost two many of their spies lately in areas where the territory of the country wasn’t divided, and they had to make sure both organisations felt the divide was fair.

“All right, Denka.” The puppet master relented eventually. “What if Akatsuki agrees to take the East and split the North with the Yugami, giving two miles of neutral land between, leaving us with the East and major village of the North, and Yugami with all the small territories in the West and North.”

“As well any townships in the South not currently under our operation.” Itachi added from beside the puppet master, one of the few things he had deigned to say during the entire negotiation.

The organisation representative smiled at them both, his darkly-rimmed glasses glinting in the candle light of the small room they sat in, as he held out a thin hand to the redheaded man. “The Yugami clan finds this agreeable.”

Sasori shook Denka’s hand shortly, and almost sighed with relief - glad to be done with the worst of the negotiations. He hated playing pleasantries with rival organisations, and the Yugami were particularly arrogant for so small a clan. Now there was only the matter of common tradeoffs to be dealt with.

Lit incense drifted in wafts of scented smoke to curl around the fixtures of the small meeting room, the pleasant, subtle smell of jasmine coming to rest over the low table the four organisation representatives sat at. The heat of the charcoal-fueled kotatsu under the wooden tabletop was soothing as it warmed their legs and seeped into the cloth of the yukatas the men wore, helping to alleviate the strain of the meeting.

Sasori let his eyes wander about the room as Denka wrote out the documents they would both sign on the territories of Yukigakure, the redheaded man’s gaze shifting from the ornately decorated paper walls of the Geisha house, to the darkening scene outside the window beside him as the sun fell behind the snowy hillside, before his eyes wandered back to his immediate company - and caught suddenly on the man sitting beside Denka, noticing the man properly for the first time.

“You are not a member of Yugami,” The puppet master voiced suspiciously then, and the unknown man’s eyes gazed back at him anxiously, as Denka’s head whipped up from his documents. “Not one that I’ve ever seen before, anyway.”

“He’s new.” Denka answered immediately, habitually adjusting his glasses, as dark slanted eyes peered confidently from behind them at Sasori. “Only been with us for a short time.”

“Hn.” Sasori accepted readily, though his eyes didn’t waver from the figure adjacent him, as the supposed Yugami member sat nervously at the table - and Itachi followed the puppeteer’s lead, staring at the unknown man. “You look... familiar.” The puppeteer decided then, leaning forward slightly over the table as he scrutinized the rattled organisation representative.

Seeming about thirty years or more, the man was a seasonable age for one so scrawny-looking in the shinobi business - although Sasori could tell right away that that was not what he was, his body was in too poor of shape for him to be a shinobi, which left the puppeteer wondering if he was a spy. Short, with round cheeks and small eyes, the man was short but held a face used to gloating, and cowering, the most notable feature of which was a light scar that crossed his right cheek - and the puppet master strained to remember where he had seen the miserable-looking man.

“I-Impossible, sir.” The man replied though, giving a shaky smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “I’ve never seen you before.”

“Hn.” Sasori replied, and leaned back once again, though his gaze lingered on the other in suspicion - before Denka slapped the documents in front of him to be signed.

“Enough of that. Now, Sasori-sama, I will need your signature here, and here.”

The puppet master nodded, focusing himself on the matter at hand, as he gazed down to the papers, lifting up a page. “Have you included the clause of neutral territory?”

“Of course, with the standard inclusion of two tradeoffs and any needed compensation.”

“What? Wait now, we haven’t discussed that yet-”

But the door to their room sliding open suddenly cut the puppeteer off, as the paper panel in the wall opened abruptly, and all eyes in the room turned to it - the gentle patter of bare feet against the dark wooden floor following a moment later, as a blonde Geisha in a bright red kimono entered the room carrying a tray stacked with a teapot and cups.

“You were saying, Sasori-sama?” Denka waved his hand for the man to continue, and the puppeteer’s eyes flashed back to the Yugami clan member, giving the woman little more than a glance.

“You can’t decide on the standard way of things without our agreement.” Sasori grated angrily, sliding the papers back towards Denka. “Remove the clause and write up a new one. The tradeoffs will become a separate matter.”

Denka sighed then, as a thin, pale hand placed a steaming cup of tea before him, and he paid the pourer no mind. “Sasori,” The man frowned unhappily, his tone imploring, “Why not go with the standard? It greatly reduces the paperwork for both of us, and two tradeoffs with compensation should meet everyone’s needs.”

“It doesn’t matter.” The redheaded puppet master snapped impatiently, “Akatsuki must know the arrangements of the Yugami and the state in which your infantry are in relation to our own to assess the value of each and make any tradeoffs-”

The sentence died instantly, as Sasori stopped still - the man’s eyes wide, and jaw slack.

“... Yes, Sasori-sama?” Denka pressed, the man frowning in confusion, as the puppet master no longer looked at him.

But Sasori wasn’t even listening, as he stared openly, mouth agape and struggling to form any coherent thought - as his eyes glued to the blonde beside him, who hesitantly poured his tea.

Dressed in a lavishly-decorated bright red kimono that generous showed off the pale shoulders of the wearer, the Geisha’s long blonde hair was pulled up in a pair of chopsticks and a familiar ponytail, long locks coming to hang against the youth’s neck, as a white painted face with bright red lips smiled coyly, and matching bright blue eyes politely avoided the men’s - and the puppet master sat in shock of the entrancing figure.

Sasori could hardly believe it was his partner.

“Make any tradeoffs...”

The puppeteer could not remove his eyes from the sight of the blonde, the young boy resisting meeting his Danna’s gaze - as Sasori’s eyes swept his figure from where the youth knelt beside him, the man’s eyes travelling the length of Deidara’s exposed neck and shoulders, to the thin arms that reached out of blood-red sleeves, to the thin waist and gentle curve of his hips - as the blonde leaned forward slightly, head bowed, placing in front of the puppet master a cup of tea.

“Make any... tradeoffs...”

Deidara’s eyes skittered to his briefly then, defiantly, and Sasori’s breath caught in his throat - his hands aching to inch closer to the boy he had touched so many times before, to hold him as he did went he felt this need, but more now, to slide the bright red dress from where it clung to thin shoulders and touch his lips to every bit of exposed skin-

“Sasori-sama.”

Denka’s voice suddenly rang out then, and Sasori heard it - his head snapping back to face the Yugami representative, as though he had entirely forgotten about the man - as the other irritably adjusted his glasses, a firm frown curving his lips.

And as Deidara drifted away from his partner once again, Sasori felt both relief and disappointment.

After a moment of tense silence as Sasori then regained his bearings, the puppet master fixed an equally annoyed look on the man across from him, the elder’s tone more agitated than ever as he barked; “Making a standard clause is unacceptable! We must assess the value of your spies verses ours, making any tradeoffs fair and equally opportune. Write up another clause!”

Denka sighed for the trouble of it, grumbling under his tone at both being yelled at and the puppet master’s strange behaviour, as he grabbed his pen and began writing out the new documents they would both sign.

Flickering his eyes over to the right, Sasori watched with his heart slowing as Deidara stood respectfully to one side of the room, his head bowed and hands folded in front of him as he held a now-empty tray, and the redheaded mans eyes were glued to the sight of him - before, not a moment later, a new figure stalked confidently through the door into their room.

Without meaning to, and luckily without anyone noticing, the puppet master blanched.

There, standing not three meters away from where he sat, was the most unattractive ‘woman’ Sasori had ever seen in his life.

Standing at over six foot tall, with broad burly shoulders and a tall black head of hair that was obviously a wig sitting atop the figure’s head, the Geisha that entered had a wide smile plastered over ‘her’ face, as one large blue hand daintily held the hem to a sensual blue kimono, and the other carried a tray filled with bowls of miso soup - and, the puppeteer noticed with a groan, one single plate of dango.

Sasori sweatdropped, and resisted the urge to slap his forehead in exasperation, as Kisame made his way over to their table. How unsubtle did the shark-man want to be?

Beside him, Sasori heard Itachi cough to hide the laugh that almost erupted from him.

But it didn’t matter, the puppet master relented with effort - as the burly blue Geisha placed the plate of dango before a lightly smiling Itachi with a little too much favouritism - at least, he thought, Deidara looked the part.

But then, looking past the shark-nin as he bent over their table to place down the bowls of miso soup, something caught Sasori’s attention through the open door to their room.

It was no more than a flash in the corner of his eye, but he puppet master could have sworn that he had seen the unmistakable hunch of a distorted figure, and the same long, dark, greasy hair of someone he knew - as just across from their room, a group of shady-looking men spoke together in hushed tones, crowding in a circle as Sasori leaned slightly, attempting to see one of their faces.

“Gurosu...?” The redheaded man whispered in confusion, his brow furrowing - but then Kisame stood, blocking his view of the hall - and when the Shark-nin moved again, the group of taking men was gone.

Sasori frowned. What was it with him today and thinking he was recognising people who were perfect strangers?

“Will that be all, ladies?” Denka asked then, without having once glanced up at the two undercover Akatsuki who had served them, his head bowed disinterestedly over his documents as he corrected them.

“Hai.” Deidara answered, before Kisame could, smiling pleasantly as he turned his counterpart around and pushed them both towards the door. “Please enjoy, sirs.” He called back to them, and the boy lingered for a moment - his eyes meeting Sasori’s in a way meant to reassure the man.

The puppet master relaxed appreciatively, giving the slightest of nods in reply as the two ‘Geisha’ left the room, sliding the door closed behind them - and he sighed, shifting his focus back to Denka, prepared to get on with rest of the negotiations.

Kisame grinned widely, no longer even attempting to hide his sharp razor-like teeth, as he stalked confidently through the main hall of the Yukionna. The kimono he wore was meant to pool on the ground behind the wearer, as it would on a delicate youth, but instead ended at his shins - the fabric swaying almost violently around his burly frame as he stomped rather ungracefully around the bustling tables that filled the Geisha house, as men crowded to watch the young girls dance and perform on the stage ahead.

It had been a strange and fortunate turn of events for he and Deidara, when the other Geisha had decided to help them - knowing full well that they were not women, as any woman would - but taking pity on them in their obvious efforts to pass as Geisha. They had then proceeded to set the two Akatsuki members down in what had turned out to be a dressing room, and doll them up properly - painting their faces, doing their hair, even presenting Kisame with the most charming wig he had ever seen, and promptly stuffing two small pillows down the blue man’s dress front, before sending both the men out to get on with their jobs.

A friendly lot, the shark-nin thought. Though, he supposed, they must be rather used to the antics of criminal ninja and the strange requests of men, in their line of business.

Now making his way around the Geisha house in rounds, while Deidara worked on sneaking into the richer clients’ rooms, Kisame busily scouted out the many halls of the Yukionna, looking out for any unannounced Yugami clan members, and performing any menial tasks for the customers that he was asked. He had served drinks to the men, and giggled politely at their jokes, all while maintaining the ‘air of availability’ that the other Geisha had told him of. One guy had even slapped him on the ass!

Although, many of the men still gave him strange looks.

“So, uh, women in Kiri are of a more... acquired taste, huh?” One man had boldly asked, as his drunken friend had beckoned Kisame over.

“You wanna take this outside?” The Akatsuki-nin had promptly replied.

The blue man had to admit, though, the majority of the men who seemed to want anything to do with the grinning shark-nin did also hail from Kirigakure. Maybe there was something to be seen in that, he wondered?

“Oh, Hana-chan!”

Kisame turned instantly, a sweet smile plastered on his face, as he answered to the stage-name he had been given.

One of the older Geisha, a young woman with long brown hair and a festive yellow kimono on, smiled pleasantly at the shark-nin - holding out a tray of sake that she had brought from the bar. “Would you please take this to room six for me, honey?”

Kisame smiled brightly at the request. “Of course, Taka-chan!” He replied in a high-pitched squeal, accepting the tray from the Geisha as delicately as he could manage.

Taka leaned forward towards him then, one hand cupped around her mouth. “Just watch out for the older one, he likes to pinch.” She told him conspiratorially, giving the shark-man a good-natured wink.

Kisame simply nodded, his grin widening, as he set off down the hall with the tray in hand.

There were many perks to life as a Geisha, he had found out to his surprise. They got great tips, and all they had to do was giggle and be friendly to the men that came for the sake and a show - and make sure none of them got too frisky, of course.

But what had most surprised him about this mission, the burly blue man reflected, was how much he was enjoying his duty as an undercover Geisha. Who knew that wearing a dress could be so much fun!

Maybe next time he could get Itachi to wear one...

“I’m telling you, we need to act now!”

Kisame stopped dead in tracks then, all thoughts of his lover in a kimono fleeing his mind, as he halted where he had been walking down one of the many hallways, standing just across from where a loud and angry tone of voice had drifted through the partially-open door of one of the bigger client rooms.

Feeling his shinobi instincts kick in, the shark-nin slinked silently closer to the door, training his breathing as he pressed his ear against the entrance, and listened in to what sounded like a brawl going on inside the room.

“Do not be foolish, Dosei.” Another, calmer voice replied - though Kisame could clearly hear the malice hidden beneath the words. “We must wait for the right moment to strike. We talked about this.”

“But this is the right moment!” The same angry man, presumably Dosei, replied with vigor - as Kisame heard the sound of a fist hitting the tabletop. “If we don’t strike now, Akatsuki will catch on to what we’re doing!”

Kisame felt his heart stop instantly. Akatsuki? He couldn’t have heard properly. Did they know they were there? Who were they? How much did they know?

The shark-nin’s heart raced suddenly, as he pressed his ear more firmly to the paper panel door, and a sickly feeling crept up his gut.

This was bad.

“Patience, Dosei.” A new voice drawled then, gleeful and cruel in an unusual way - and Kisame’s blood ran cold with recognition.

So it was them.

“The Akatsuki do not suspect... they know nothing, as per usual.”

The room echoed harsh laughter then, a malicious sound, and Kisame’s eyes widened in panic, as he took a stumbling step away from the door - but the voices followed him, seeming to grow louder.

“We must remember our instructions,” The drawling voice added then, and the shark-nin saw through the crack in the door a hunched back, over which hung dank, greasy dark hair - and an all-too-familiar pointed nose, as a cruel smile stretched over thin lips. “The Boss was very specific, when he told us the ways in which we are to kill the Akatsuki scum!”

The shark-nin backed away desperately, his head shaking, as his heart pounded in his chest. How did they get here? How did they know?

“Always dramatic, Gurosu.” The first voice chuckled then, and new raucous laughter erupted - continuing even after Kisame dropped the tray of hot tea he had been holding, the ceramic teapot smashing heavily to the ground as the blue man took off at a run - sprinting past the main hall of the Yukionna, and the Geisha that called out to him with worried voices.

He had to find Deidara. He had to get the others. They had to get out of there!

He had to tell them...

The Hirohito were here.

A/N: You guys remember the Hirohito? Its been a while since we've seen them... and who out there remembers Gurosu, hm? The guy who met them at the entrance to Hirohito's cave-hideout, remember? Well, I'm sure at least some of you will skip back that chapter and check it (its the one called The Hitohito, btw).

Also, Yukionna means 'snow woman', for any that are interested to know!

Hopefully I will be back sooner rather than later with an update, provided you guys still want it (which I must say I sincerely hope you do... the next ones gonna be a doozie!).

Arigato. *bows*

-Emerald-